sranks | locked to darkseal

[It's been a week since his fight with Linhardt.

Okay, so perhaps that's not entirely accurate. It wasn't a fight so much as it was a slaughter, and a completely unnecessary one at that. Had anyone else treated Linhardt in such an uncouth fashion, he would have stepped in. So obviously the only thing to do is to try to make amends and set things right, so at the very least the man will stop running.

Linhardt hasn't been around at all and even when he isn't working for Lady Edelgard or in class he's had a hard time locating Linhardt. That usually doesn't happen. Hubert has a good idea of where everyone - important or pointless - is in the monastery at any given time. So this...

Well, it isn't good to let anyone slip away from his notice. It's for the best if he patches things up and finds a way to get Linhardt to settle. It's for Lady Edelgard's sake, not his own.

(But that doesn't explain why he's had a few sleepless nights thinking back to that, or the way his chest tightens when he thinks he catches a glimpse of Linhardt, or the strange feeling of embarrassment that comes with anyone else noticing Linhardt's even more evasive ways.

If he's perfectly honest with himself - which he isn't - he might have to admit that it isn't entirely for Lady Edelgard's sake.)

He had decided he would confront Linhardt about all of this only three days after the incident. It was enough time to prove that Linhardt's absence would only prove to be more troublesome than it was worth. Unfortunately, Hubert doesn't really have the slightest idea how to go about this, much less... actually apologizing.

It was thanks to many of the other students that he even has some sort of idea what to do now, although things didn't always go as smoothly as he would have liked.

When he'd initially heard that offering a gift would help with an apology, his first thought had gone to sweets. Linhardt likes them (he's fairly sure), and how hard could it be to bake something? It seemed relatively easy, but it wasn't long before looking over recipes in the library had him realize that there was simply no way he was up to the task. Who knew cooking was so difficult?

Lysithea had caught him there, and she'd been just as curious as anyone else would have been why he was reading a cookbook. He hadn't told her the truth, of course - just that he was curious about preparing something for Lady Edelgard, a much more acceptable reason - and while she had looked like she was trying not to laugh, she had directed him toward Annette and Mercedes.

Getting them to agree to fix something for him was actually surprisingly easy. He had been prepared to offer them money for it, but they'd just given each other a knowing look and agreed before he could even offer.

Hubert would be lying if he said he hadn't felt mildly embarrassed about that one, but when he'd returned to pick up the sweets, they were exactly as the book had described.

He had been prepared to offer just the sweets as a gift, but when Professor Byleth had unceremoniously shoved a stuffed bear in his hands earlier today, he figured it couldn't hurt to pass it along to Linhardt. Hadn't he said something about a stuffed animal? Well, more gifts certainly wouldn't hurt.

The final piece of the perfectly-constructed puzzle was the letter. It had taken him countless attempts and more wasted paper than he'd care to count, but eventually it had been written neatly (then copied over to a clean piece of paper to make it even neater) and was folded and sealed. He had even avoided using House Vestra's seal, just in case Linhardt would ignore it outright on sight.

With all the preparations in place, he had slipped the note under Linhardt's door and returned to his own room to wait. Everything would be fine.

(And it was a bit ridiculous he had to convince himself of that.)

The letter reads as follows:]

Linhardt,
It is my understanding that you have hardly been around recently. Your presence has been missed by those in your house. I wish to set things right. Meet me at my room tonight.
- Hubert von Vestra

[...No one ever said it was a good apology letter.]

[...

You know, Linhardt typically sucks with actual apologies that even attempt to not sound vaguely stilted and as if he's simply trying to imitate something genuine. But this? This makes him look emotionally competent, and that's saying something.

He knows very well that he could just crumble this letter up and throw it away--maybe send a message by tearing it apart and leaving it in front of Hubert's door, and never speaking to the man again. It'd be revenge for the humiliation he felt, but...an attempt at it, even a vague one, makes Linhardt feel vaguely sick to his stomach. He shouldn't feel like this. Not after what Hubert did, but the man went out of his way to send him this in the first place.

And...well, if this isn't some kind of trick, then Hubert did say he wished to set things right. And in some ways--a lot, actually--Linhardt wanted that to be true. He knew he was potentially opening himself up to getting messed with again. But if it would stop all of those thoughts that he missed Hubert, missed having him around to talk to, then...

Well, maybe it was a risk worth taking.

Linhardt's never been very prompt to anything that wasn't an appointment with a nap, but Hubert will actually hear a knock on the door in relatively prompt order by the time night rolls around.]

Are you there?

[Hubert isn't expecting Linhardt to be prompt. He figured that Linhardt would come late, probably only out of curiosity to see exactly how this would unfold, because let's face it, Hubert never apologizes for anything. He had hoped that the letter would be enough for Linhardt to show up at least out of curiosity alone, and apparently he was right.

Right, but not right about the timing, and as such he's not entirely prepared when Linhardt arrives at his door.

The treats are neatly arranged in a basket with the stuffed bear behind them, centered on his desk where they can easily be seen as soon as he opens the door. His room is spotless, as it always is, and he's already putting the book he was reading away and making sure the others he's been working his way through for Lady Edelgard are out of sight, just in case. Linhardt is clever - too clever - and the last thing he needs is for the man to catch on to them before Lady Edelgard has time to prepare her plan and strike.

In short, everything should be ready, and yet as he looks at the door there's a sinking feeling in his gut that he's completely forgotten something. His room is neat, his appearance is just as it should be, why does that even matter anyway, though...

No more hesitation. He opens the door.]

Good evening, Linhardt. Would you care to come in?

[He opens the door further and inclines his head to indicate that Linhardt should enter. He's not doing this out in the hallway, okay.]

[There goes his damned chest again. Hubert will actually find that Linhardt looks about as the same as ever, if slightly more put together in some ways but off in others; he's well kept, he's straightened up a bit by how less haphazard his uniform and general appearance looks, but he actually looks like he kind of inherited Hubert's bags under his eyes, despite all of his napping.

Hell, if Hubert's observant enough, he'll notice that Linhardt actually has the letter in his hand. Still, either way, he tips his head a bit in acknowledgement.]

Well, that is why you invited me here, is it not?

[His tone is the same as ever, but he will step inside when Hubert inclines his head. He rubs at his eyes a bit with his free hand, before taking a look around the room--his eyes set upon the basket first, tilting his head as he regards it, before dismissing it. No, that just has to be a gift he received, probably from Edelgard or something--]

I'm surprised you're bothering to go out of your way, at all.

[...Linhardt's never been good at not being blunt, but at the very least, while his tone is guarded, it's not biting at all.]

[He'll shut the door behind Linhardt, but he makes no move to lock it or otherwise block the doorway in case Linhardt wants to leave. He'll move toward the opposite wall from his bed, leaning against it and folding his arms.

Linhardt has seen the gifts, but then he just... kind of ignores them... um. Hmm. Well, he'll address the words first, at least.]

It wasn't as though I had to go far out of my way.

[Defensive. Mistake number one. He inhales slowly and tries again.]

...My behavior last week was unacceptable.

[Straightforward, though perhaps a bit too blunt. It isn't a proper apology by any means, but it's at least a start.]

I wanted to...

[apologize, why is that word so difficult to say—

It doesn't come, and the pause lasts for far too long, so instead he gestures to the gifts.]

For you. Take them, if you want them.

[It's all still a bit too blunt, too short, and without nearly enough explanation or clarification. He had this rehearsed, the speech he intended to give memorized, and yet now he can't find the words he needs to make things right.

Is there even a way to make things right?

His posture is closed-off and it might look as though he's just trying to get this over with as quickly as possible, but if Linhardt looks closely, it's obvious that Hubert's not trying to be so brusque and brush him off, he's legitimately just this awkward.]

[Linhardt stiffens a bit at the defensive words, but when Hubert changes his tone and...attempts something, though if Linhardt's confused expression is any indication, he's not sure what--yeah, his behavior was unacceptable, it was frankly cruel, and Linhardt was more than content not to think about it further, but the cut off words frustrate him a bit. The pause goes on long enough that Linhardt's about to say something, something he'll likely regret, but...

His look goes back to the basket when Hubert brings it up, and he's clearly startled when he realizes that all of this is for him.]

Wait...what? This is...

[There go those wild feelings in his chest again, and from the way he looks back and forth between Hubert and the basket, he...clearly isn't sure what to do with that. He winds up saying the first thing that comes to mind--]

No one's ever gone this far out of their way for me...

[He doesn't stop himself, the words coming unbidden as he winds up walking over to take a look at the basket. Those sweets are making his mouth water and any resolve he had for not forgiving Hubert is slowly going out the window as he takes the basket and goes back into place, looking at Hubert.

...He actually takes the stuffed bear and holds it close to himself in his free arm while he tries out one of the sweets, and oh gods they're delightful, give him a second--]

Is this an apology, then?

[...He's kind of getting that Hubert is just Like This, but Linhardt's words are no less. Kind of blunt, though it seems to be more unintentional than anything. Though Hubert can definitely observe Linhardt absolutely enjoying the sweets, clearly transfixed by them.]

[They should be pretty damn good, seeing as how Mercedes is apparently among the best at baking sweets. Annette wouldn't stop gushing about how good they were going to be.

Hubert's still stuck on Linhardt's words, however. No one's ever gone this far out of their way for me... It's not exactly hard to believe that, but at the same time something about it sticks with him, and he finds himself shifting a bit where he's leaning against the wall. It's somewhere between agitation and frustration; he doesn't know what it is about that admission that's bothering him so much, and he doesn't have time to analyze it right now.

(He doesn't want to analyze it.)

Instead, Linhardt accepts the gifts and puts it into words quickly and more efficiently than Hubert ever could have. He nods, curt.]

Yes. I... have a bit of difficulty expressing it.

[Obviously.]

It won't happen again.

[If the way he's rather ungracefully shoving them in his face is any indication, believe me, they're that and more. Dear goddess, who knew he could be so easy to win over???

...The bear is helping too, honestly, he's even going out of his way to make sure nothing lands on the bear and just...kind of has a surprisingly soft look when he looks at it, while he eats. It's...actually kind of nice, and even if it's making him look strange, probably, it's comforting. Even if Hubert's likely judging.

Not that he really looks up to see if Hubert is until he speaks up, and Linhardt turns that over in his head a bit.]

...I'd rather prefer it if you didn't let it happen again. Though, I suppose I wasn't blameless in that situation, either.

[It's still kind of humiliating to think about.........]

But in any case, I...do believe I owe you an apology as well, Hubert.

[Yeah, he's kind of looking at Linhardt and the bear and judging, but he's at least trying to keep it off his face. Some people actually like things like that for some reason... And anyway, he doesn't need to make this any worse than it already is. He's trying, he's just bad at this.

At Linhardt's words, he shakes his head.]

It wasn't as though you could control what you were doing in your sleep. There's no reason for you to apologize.

[He's honestly not sure what Linhardt could have to apologize for...]

[thanks for not being an asshole for once, hubie........appreciated................

Still, Linhardt shakes his head and looks up at Hubert when he says that he has no reason to apologize--he does, actually. It's something that's ate at him for a bit, all things considered, and Linhardt actually looks rather guilty when he speaks up--]

No, it's not that. I do believe that before I stormed off, I implied you should go back to the library. I don't know how you took such a thing, but I do believe that I implied you should go back to overworking yourself, because I didn't...

[Care anymore is the first thing that he wants to say, but he stops himself short. He never really stopped caring, but he certainly did a good job of attempting to burn the bridge, didn't he.]

Because I was angry with you. And...I do believe that was entirely unfair of me to say such a thing; to say nothing of how callous it was...

[His look goes down when he says that.]

...You have been taking care of yourself, I hope.

Edited 2019-08-10 19:07 (UTC)

[...It's probably telling that he didn't consider that at all. It wasn't an issue, because that's how he's used to people treating him. How often is it that someone actually does look out for his well-being outside of Lady Edelgard? (And even then he finds it frustrating, because he can take care of himself and he knows his own limits, and he needs to be useful to her - she shouldn't be worrying about him...)

It's at that moment that he realizes that he might be a little messed up.

Anyway, that's not really important right now, and self-reflection can wait until later, assuming he decides to actually do that instead of ignore it entirely.]

It's hardly the first time it's happened; don't concern yourself with it. I certainly won't make the same mistake twice, and I haven't pushed myself that hard again.

[That seems to be true, given that he doesn't look nearly as tired as he did last week. Though he still doesn't look like he's getting enough sleep, it's at least better than it was.]

...I do have to ask if you're doing the same, however.

[Don't think he didn't notice those bags under your eyes, mister!!]

Good. Do see to it that you don't.

[Linhardt definitely will help him again if it happens, but as...much as he wants a re-do on that nap (Why? It's not like Hubert can relax anyway, that's silly, why does he want to--), he knows it'd likely end poorly again. But maybe if he brought the bear with him...

Of course, Linhardt's eyes widen at the questioning and while he looks back at Hubert at that, his look shifts away again while he gets another sweet from the basket to distract himself.]

I've been fine. It's nothing you need to concern yourself over.

[...it'd be a lot more convincing if you actually looked at Hubert, Linhardt. But then again, Linhardt's never been a good liar; he's always been a little too forward and honest in general (as...Hubert has likely observed...), so lying...doesn't actually come that easy to him, and it doesn't look convincing.]

You aren't very good at this, are you?

[It's not quite a joke, but it isn't pointed. An observation, and one he finds vaguely amusing.]

There's no need to lie to me, Linhardt. Surely you don't think I'll fall for it.

[Of course, the problem is actually getting him to open up without risking scaring him off or upsetting him further. It's one thing to see a lie, it's another to find a way to address the problem in a halfway normal manner. Hubert is not equipped to deal with delicate matters like this; he's Lady Edelgard's dagger, a weapon to be used, he's hardly suited to deal with things involving diplomacy.

But it is important that Linhardt recover and stop hiding all the time. As always, everything he does is for Lady Edelgard's sake.

(And maybe things will be a bit easier and whatever has a stranglehold on his chest will ease up the moment Linhardt is back to normal.)]

Have you been having difficulty sleeping lately?

[It's not pointed, it's a genuine question. He's already formulating a response to that in case Linhardt has had trouble sleeping. Professor Manuela most likely has some herbs that could help with that, and if Linhardt would prefer avoiding letting anyone at the academy know about it then it shouldn't be difficult to find a book with information on the herbs required and he can obtain them...]

[Linhardt doesn't like being called out so easily on lying, and winds up pulling the bear a little closer to himself, but--

Hubert isn't being snide, or derisive. As much as Linhardt wishes he'd fall for it, so that he didn't have to try and talk about what was keeping him up and impeding his sleep--even with all of the time he's been avoiding others, his naps have been fraught with sudden starts, very sudden dreams and wakings that only served to make him more tired when he tries to wake up. To say nothing of even some of the faculty around the monastery getting on his case when they can actually find him in weird places...

And also nothing to say about the weird swath of problems he has around Hubert. Already, his heart has been doing all sorts of weird things--it had abated slightly with the apology, and these sweets are doing wonders for him, and even having that bear is putting him more at ease. But...]

...I will admit, I have had some difficulty, yes.

[There's the honesty, and he looks at Hubert with a slightly dismayed expression.]

I suppose it doesn't help that my naps haven't been in my usual places, and they've proven rather uncomfortable, but...I think what has been getting to me most is the fact that even when I do sleep, it only appears to be for short amounts of time before I jolt awake.

[He doesn't want to go into the weird dreams he's been having, so he avoids Hubert's gaze again.]

Why do you ask?

[Why are you going out of the way for me? is what he wants to ask, so badly, but he can't bring himself to say the words.]

[Difficulties sleeping, just as predicted. However, Linhardt's explanation isn't quite what he was expecting, and honestly, it sounds like this isn't a problem that can be cured all that easily.

He rests his chin against his hand as he considers.]

Has anything been troubling you lately? Perhaps you're having difficulty sleeping because something's been weighing on your mind.

[Linhardt usually seems so carefree; if something is bothering him, perhaps it could be impacting his naps. It certainly wouldn't do to let this go untreated, so a solution must be found.

...And naturally, the fact that their fight might have had something to do with it goes sailing directly over his head.

Anyway, there isn't an explanation for why he's asked in there, because he's distracted focusing on a solution, but that's probably fine right??]

[Linhardt pauses at the question. It's not that he isn't sure about the answer--he's quite sure, at least in theory, that this whole mess with Hubert bothered him a lot more than he really cared to admit. That much was easy to suss out.

But...]

...Why are you going so far out of your way for me?

[That's out before he can stop it, and he just. Shovels another treat into his mouth to hide the fact that he's not necessarily lying at this point, but stalling the truth out because...

...Why? Maybe he's worried about this turning on him again? Does he actually know why?]

[The question gets him to tip his head a bit, as though he's baffled it needs to be asked in the first place.]

All I do is for Lady Edelgard.

[A practiced answer, rehearsed but no less true. Of course, it... might not actually explain everything since this one does kind of require one to tilt their head and squint to see it.]

You are a member of the Black Eagles house and one of our own. It wouldn't do to treat you poorly or turn a blind eye to your suffering. While I cannot say I approve of your constant naps, they do have their benefits and when you are at your peak, you are one of the most intelligent people in our house. Your intelligence will no doubt serve Lady Edelgard well, so it is in our best interest to allow you the freedom you require as well as the time you need.

[Easy. Simple. Nothing to it.

...He does look like that's not all he has to say, but to be perfectly honest... he doesn't really want to get into it. If it were only for Lady Edelgard's sake, he certainly wouldn't have gone this far. Linhardt surely already knows that. But if it wasn't just for Lady Edelgard, then why did he go to so much trouble? Why did he spend so long making sure everything would be perfect for this apology?

It isn't like him, and to be honest, he has no idea why.]

[...Well, that's about as practiced of an answer as he was expecting. Everything he does is for Edelgard, and really, he shouldn't have been surprised, and while his chest does...something weird in regards to that possibly being the only reason, but surely it's fine.

His gaze doesn't quickly flicker to the door for a second, that's just your imagination.]

...In that case, I suppose it would be prudent to let you know of that much.

[His tone is still rather guarded, but--]

I suppose was rather upset by what had transpired between the two of us, after that rather undignifying display. [He takes another bite of the sweet, chewing and swallowing before speaking again.] I know it's a one-sided consideration, but...I do consider your company preferable. To most within the academy, of course. And perhaps it's bold, but...I would even call you a friend.

[There's that ever forward honesty. He's not really looking at Hubert when he says that, though, and it seems more like he's wracking his brain for a proper answer than anything.]

Try as I might to avoid the problem, it decided to follow me about instead. I think I was worried about something...being lost. At least, that's my hypothesis.

[Linhardt pauses for a second, finishing his current treat, before deciding to offer one to Hubert. A peace offering, perhaps, or...just attempting to be nice. Even if it's weird.]

[It takes a moment for all of that to click into place. You can probably see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to process this and understand exactly what Linhardt is saying. Somehow, despite it being rather straightforward, it takes him a moment.]

You consider me a friend, and you were worried that what happened had destroyed that.

[It's not a question, not really, but it's still spoken aloud anyway to make sure they're on the same page. There's no feelings, no judgment.

But he'd be lying if he said that wasn't a carefully-constructed front, just as so much often is with Hubert.

In reality, it feels as though something has seized hold of his chest and won't let go. It's almost difficult to breathe. At the same time, there's a feeling of intense unease seeping through him, and something else he can't quite identify that roots him to the spot. Even if he wanted to leave (and for some reason he can't quite place, he does want to), nothing could get him to move.

All of this because Linhardt considers him a friend.

Surely something is wrong with him. Perhaps he's coming down with a cold, or maybe he's spent too long working and not enough time resting. Regardless of what it is, such feelings need to be pushed aside. He shouldn't be concerned about something so silly.

As though Linhardt would truly want to be friends with him of all people...]

...Yes. Yes, I do believe that is it.

[Having such a clear cut answer should feel wonderful. It should feel great--it should be the moment where everything finally comes together, and he can understand everything about the situation.

...

So why does it still feel off? Why does it feel like the assumed hex in his body is going haywire and making everything seem all too uncertain? Maybe he's just worried about Hubert deciding to go off on him again. That has to be it, right?

Linhardt can't be sure. And that's making him nervous, honestly, and he's not looking at Hubert to gauge his reaction. If anything, he's expecting another set of cutting remarks...]

[The cutting remarks don't come, instead replaced by a contemplative, almost uncertain look. It isn't the sort of thing he would ever want anyone to see, and were he aware of it, he would have hidden it beneath his usual calm front.

Linhardt truly does consider him a friend. What a strange, bizarre world we live in.]

...You needn't worry about that. I have no intention of reacting in such a way again. As I've said, you are important to Lady Edelgard, and to our house as a whole.

[The words come easily, carefully placed together to create the picture he's aiming for without an ounce of that hesitation still written on his face.]

It is... not often someone would call me a friend, but I can't say I'm opposed to the idea. It can only be beneficial.

[There. It's a bit blunt, perhaps, but that should be good enough. That should calm the strange feelings within him, but if anything that only seems to agitate them. He doesn't understand. He's not sure he wants to understand, but he's never been the sort of person who could look away from something that bothers him.

He gets the feeling that wherever this goes, it isn't going to end well.

That's about when he finally notices that Linhardt's offered him one of the pastries, and he holds up a hand and shakes his head.]

Ah, no, they're for you. I'm not particularly fond of sweets anyway.

[Perhaps that's a little more genuine, showing a little more of the awkwardness he's been displaying around Linhardt since... Well, since that night at the Goddess Tower.]

[Linhardt finally looks up when Hubert tells him he doesn't have to worry, and in that moment, a wave of relief washes over him. Even if it feels careful in some manner, the relief on Linhardt's face is exceedingly genuine, and he seems to let out a contented sigh when he hears that.

In some ways, it's making that strange hex act less weird too. In others...well, it still feels weird, but it's a manageable level of weird. The relief is easily overtaking the feelings that still lay there, and even if it's only a temporary relief, it's enough to see Linhardt smile--genuinely smile.]

Thank you, Hubert. Then...if it is not too forward of me, I would like to call you that much.

[Linhardt will take back the sweet at that awkward comment, but Linhardt doesn't seem too deterred as he takes a bite from it, swallowing it down before speaking again.]

In that case, you simply must tell me what I can do for you in kind, then. I would certainly like to do something to repay this much effort.

[...]

While expending as little of my own, of course.

[...That's actually somewhat wry, a little bit of an easy joke.]

[Ah, that smile... It's different from the ones he's seen Linhardt wear before. It's more honest, isn't it? Something genuine, that so few people get to see. He'd be lying if he said it didn't set those bizarre emotions off again, though he still has no clue why he's reacting in such a way. He'll have to look into that...

But for now, Linhardt's words earn a smirk before he shakes his head.]

Nonsense. There's no need for you to repay anything. I've done what I set out to do, there's no repayment necessary.

[If we're both okay (sort of) now, then the apology was a success. Who knew sweets were the way to go? He supposes he'll have to actually find Mercedes and Annette and thank them later... But that's going to be awkward...

Anyway, for now everything really does seem to be just fine.]

No, no, I insist!

[Linhardt's eyes seem to light up at that, and he actually takes a step closer to Hubert in somewhat ecstatic glee, practically a living exclamation mark in this moment--]

After all, it would be an effort put forth in my wish--to say nothing of being able to go out of my way for your sake, my friend. I would quite like to be able to do that.

[there's that forwardness again oh my god LIN]

[It's a bit hard to find such excitement annoying, even though he probably should. Instead, it gets a short, sharp laugh out of him. It's a bit overwhelming, if he's honest, but there's nothing about it he really dislikes.]

I imagine nothing will change your mind, then. Very well, I won't stop you if that's what you wish to do. There isn't anything I need your assistance in now, but I suspect you'll find some way to help when I least expect it.

[It's almost fond. Almost.]

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