sranks | locked to darkseal

locked to darkseal

[Truthfully speaking, this Ball was nothing more than a glorified dance class in Linhardt's mind. They were practically obligated to attend and partake, dancing with people and exchanging smiles and pleasantries; a ball like this was at least somewhat important to the nobility, Linhardt was sure, but as far as he was concerned? He had no business here, and the first chance he could get out, he took gladly.

He wasn't altogether sure about where to go, honestly; he could certainly just turn in for the night on his bed, or get back to his crest research, but there was another curiosity that he wanted to take a look at; the Goddess Tower. The details were a little fuzzy in Linhardt's mind, but he had heard some so-called rumors about what happened within the tower. Something interesting would happen if two people entered the tower...was it that they would be blessed by the Goddess if they shared a vow, or that they would be cursed for defiling her tower? Linhardt couldn't really recall off the top of his head, as it wasn't a topic that interested him too much, but...well, it was an interesting research opportunity and there was certainly a first time for everything.

But of course, he knew very well he wasn't exactly destined for much in the love department. As far as he was concerned, the Goddess Tower would be a once in a lifetime napping spot, and Linhardt intended to take the bait. It was surprisingly quiet, though he didn't doubt that there were people waiting to come in and try to find their 'true love', as they would likely call it. Linhardt finds his way to a nice spot within the tower, settling himself in for what's likely to be an interesting sleep, if nothing else.

Who knows, maybe he'll get to eavesdrop on some unlucky sap within the tower before he nods off, or perhaps even hear someone find the love of their life. The latter would certainly be a nice thought, for one of the others, perhaps. That would at least be interesting to hear...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[At first, Linhardt believes he's won. He believes that he's forcing Hubert out, that he's keeping those walls of his high so that nobody can reach him anymore. He doesn't want to let anyone in--he doesn't want to have to deal with the heartbreak again. Maybe he can cry in earnest, because he already feels himself starting to shake and he wants privacy--

But then Hubert turns around and asks him that, and Linhardt's not sure what he's doing with his face but he knows it needs to stop. His eyes shut, and he averts his face so he doesn't have to face it.]

...Why are you asking me? You act like I'm supposed to know the answer to this, but after...

[Linhardt shudders, crossing his arms in an attempt to calm himself.]

...After all of these years, am I important?

[To you is the important bit he leaves out.]

[He very nearly opens his mouth without thinking again, but that's the sort of thing he really needs to stop doing. So instead he bites back the default answer and pauses to think about it.

Of course Linhardt's important. Her Majesty has said so herself - perhaps not to his face, but to Hubert, and undoubtedly to plenty of her other subordinates. She values his insight and intellect, and his ability to get results out of stubborn nobles is impressive. Linhardt is incredibly important, and it's difficult to imagine where they'd be without him.

...But that's not what Linhardt's asking.

He takes a moment to breathe, to steady himself and his thoughts before replying.]

Of course you are. You never stopped being important.

[It's as he says it that he realizes just how true it is - just how often his thoughts have been with Linhardt, whether he was aware of it or not. He spent so much time figuring out Linhardt's whereabouts under the guise of wanting to avoid him; he fought carefully in battles so he wouldn't have to be healed; he never overworked himself so he wouldn't faint. Every single thing circles back to Linhardt in some way, even when he spent so much time convincing himself it didn't.

Honestly, he feels a little foolish for not having realized it sooner.]

What happened that day, I...

[This is the part where an apology should happen, because at the very least he owes Linhardt that much. Sweets certainly can't save him now and this is more than some barbed words flung at Linhardt in a feeble attempt to protect himself.

But even words aren't enough, and he's fully aware of that.

In the end, he lets it hang there, unable to push forward despite wanting to - needing to - and his nails bite so hard into his palms they would have drawn blood were he not wearing gloves.]

[You never stopped being important.]

Then why? Why?

[Linhardt's tone isn't taking that calm that he used to whenever the tears began to start. No, it's shaking fiercely, and he's starting to lose his nerve. But he can't let it down, he can't let down his walls, he won't let his heart break again--]

Why wasn't I important enough for you to listen to me before running off?!

[It's barbed. It's angry. It's four years of pent up frustrations coming to the surface, and he knows he shouldn't shout, his voice already feels so hoarse and Linhardt's never really shouted a day in his life.

He doesn't know what to do with himself, so taking it out on Hubert is clearly the best idea. Probably.]

[Linhardt has every right to be angry and he finds he doesn't have the energy to argue with him. Oh, he could, certainly, and the temptation is there - because Hubert prefers to escalate and make things worse, because in the end it'll drive people away and he'll be left alone. That's always how he's preferred it; Lady Edelgard is the only person he needs.

Things have changed, and it's far too late for him to go back to the way things once were.]

...I was scared.

[It's not easy to admit, and it's not going to get any easier to talk about. He folds his arms and finds himself looking away. He can't look at Linhardt right now, he can't watch him cry or he'll be tempted to approach and that's the last thing either of them need right now.]

The only person I have ever allowed myself to get close to is Her Majesty. Even then, I keep far too many secrets from her. With you things were... different. I meant it when I said you were my friend.

[...Were? Are? He doesn't know.]

I didn't realize until that moment just how important you were to me. I was convinced I had ruined everything. Ironic, I know.

[gj hubert]

I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, but I wasn't sure how to reconcile our relationship with everything else in my life. How could I serve Her Majesty to my fullest if I had an attachment that could influence my decisions? How could I possibly let anyone in enough to be a decent partner when I can't even trust Her Majesty?

How could I further put you in harm's way?

[It's difficult and slow going, but the words begin to come easier, faster. His grip on his sleeves is far too tight, but after a moment one hand comes up to cover the bottom half of his face.]

I thought it would be best to sever the ties completely. For both of us. And even once I'd realized what a terrible mistake I'd made, how could I possibly apologize after what I did to you? How could I explain myself, and admit to my failings as a person? How could I ever...

[His breath hitches and it suddenly feels like he can't get any more words out. For a brief moment, the shields crack, and his shoulders shake.]

[Perhaps for once in this whole, godsforsaken conversation, Linhardt tries to listen. It's hard--it's hard after four whole years of this shit, of avoiding everything and sticking his head in the ground in a misguided attempt at protecting himself.

Maybe it helps that this is the most open he's ever seen Hubert in his life. It's clearly so difficult for him to get this much out, that he's never been able to really trust anyone outside of Edelgard--and even then, that trust is strained. It's something he never expected from Hubert, really; he figured that he told her everything, not that even he held secrets from her, and somehow, that's...actually comforting, in some ways.

(In others, it makes Linhardt feel so stupid. Why didn't he realize that sooner?)

Linhardt winds up listening the whole way through, his face neutralizing some as he uses the long sleeves of his new outfit to dry his eyes. He'll be fine now--now that he knows Hubert is trying, at least, to explain his thought processes and what the hell was running through his mind. And honestly, all at once, it hits Linhardt that while Hubert has amazing battling and tactical abilities, he's...very, very stupid in regards to his feelings.

...Not that he's much better in that regard, and that may be the first bit of self-awareness he's ever had in regards to his own understanding of emotions.]

...You've always been trying to protect me in your own way, haven't you.

[Linhardt's chuckle is soft, the first soft thing he's said in a while. It's not a question, though; Linhardt knows better than anyone that he has. He's not sure where to start with this, but...]

I was so-- [He thinks for a moment, trying to find the proper word.] --anguished, you know. Crushed, for such a long time. Because I had finally found the answer I was looking for, when that happened; through you I understood what I felt, and all at once it felt...torn from me. I let that cloud my judgement and affect my work, and I tried to run away from it myself. The realization, the pain it caused...everything. Because I couldn't handle the thought that I could possibly be wrong about this...to say nothing of it being quite inappropriate for a time of war.

[...It's not quite an apology, but it's...closer, really, than he's come before.]

...What you're doing right now is a good start at confronting this, I will say. [He looks directly at Hubert, tipping his head.] And I do understand what you are trying to say...I think. I think you should be a touch more clear, but...

[lin try to have some tact, the man is Trying]

...I have a proposal for you.

[--WAIT he raises his hands in the air, almost flailing a bit.]

Not--not something quite...that, but...an idea, if you will.

Edited 2019-08-17 04:25 (UTC)

[He doesn't look at Linhardt - he can't bring himself to do that just yet - but he nods a bit at that; it isn't a question and doesn't require a response, but he answers anyway.]

I have.

[He meant what he said, he has never needed or wanted Linhardt to be a shield. All he's wanted is to protect him, and in some ways, shoving him away with such force seemed like the kinder option than failing him repeatedly. It's stupid now, but at the time he had been able to justify it to himself.

Hubert still doesn't look over as Linhardt explains, but eventually his shoulders stop shaking and he's able to fold his arms again.]

I... I never should have done that to you.

[It's not quite an apology, but the words he needs for that don't come. Maybe someday he can manage it.

He does look over at the last part, though he settles once Linhardt clarifies. He didn't really think it was a proper proposal anyway, but the wording...]

I'll hear it. What do you have in mind?

[...Linhardt will honestly take what he can get, at this point, it's better than having sweets shoved in his face.

.......Okay, realistically, only mildly better but look, Linhardt has weaknesses okay--]

This war is likely going to continue for a long while yet. Between the stalemates and the nobles seeming to rile up at every opportunity--I'll explain in a while, but needless to say, if you haven't heard, House Varley isn't pleased with recent events, but I digress--we've much work to do for Her Majesty. I know well that such a thing could likely only bring us more pain, should we pursue it to it's logical conclusion; be it from us worrying over one another, or the nobility attempting to use us to their advantage. Tactically, it is sound to avoid such a thing...

[Linhardt speaks of the elephant in the room so clinically that it almost sounds like a disease.]

...So let us avoid it, for now. Not shelve it completely, but avoid it; let us come back to it once our war is won, when we can truly bask in the new world that we have created. Where we may be able to pursue what we wish, and where we may see where it takes us, if anywhere at all. Perhaps we can see properly if this will hold true, until the end.

And when we come to a conclusion together...let us meet in the Goddess Tower again, to discuss our findings.

Would that be acceptable?

[Linhardt hasn't given up on him. That's perhaps the most baffling thing he's heard in awhile, and for a moment his expression is openly confused before he manages to wrestle it back under control. He listens, and he doesn't interrupt.

The Goddess Tower, huh...? Linhardt had gotten his wish, hadn't he? What a silly thing to be thinking right now...]

I'd like that. You're right - there's far too much at stake here right now. There's plenty we have left to do, and once Her Majesty has succeeded in winning this war... then we can discuss it.

[It's a good offer, a safe one. He's comfortable in agreeing to it. But something still causes him to hesitate.]

...Would you prefer to... remain distant until that point?

[...this is the most round-about way to ask "are we still friends".]

Yes; those are my exact thoughts.

[Linhardt smiles a bit, glad that Hubert is understanding him clearly. But then comes the true question.

Linhardt knows he should offer it some consideration; consideration for the walls he's built up, ones that are slowly crumbling after such an open question. His resolve has always broken so easily when near Hubert...

Linhardt winds up holding out one of his hands.]

Hm, no. I'd like to close some of that distance, if you would be so inclined.

[Hubert smiles at that; it's not quite as open as it's been in the past, but it's certainly an expression he hasn't worn in four years. He approaches, taking Linhardt's offered hand all too easily.]

What I did to you was unforgivable. I don't expect you to trust me after that.

[The words are soft but not upset. These are just facts.]

Thank you for allowing me another chance. I doubt I could ever thank you enough for it.

[Linhardt grips on Hubert's hand as he says that much, the walls practically crumbling down to nothing. He is so weak. So weak.

He still loves this man, even if he's just gotta shove those feelings aside for now. He can deal with them later.]

We've much time to make up, you know. I've wanted to speak to you again like this for so long, but...even I did not know how to go about it.

...Thank you for humoring me.

You have my apologies. I'm sorry I hurt you.

[...Oh.

Oh!!! Look at that, he did it...]

Ah, I... wasn't expecting that.

[He just... kind of said it?? No hesitation or fumbling or anything??? Witchcraft.]

[!!!!!

It's an actual fucking miracle, he said it!!

And honestly, his reaction actually makes Linhardt use his free hand to muffle his laughter, goddess above--]

You make it sound like you've never apologized a day in your life, Hubert!

[is this, dare he thinks even if he doesn't have a concept for this sort of thing, moe]

[no!!!!!!]

Well, I certainly don't make a habit of it.

[oh my god.]

It isn't as though I usually need to.

[that is a fucking lie

Anyway, he's kind of trying not to die, please don't make this awkward...]

[yes!!!!!!!!]

That might be the most adorable thing I've ever heard...

[what was that, make it worse

if you insist!!!

(there are literally people dying outside you two, oh my god???)]

...Why are you like this.

[It's not even a question. He's just resigned to this being his punishment. He deserves it. But also: please??? do not????

(now is exactly the wrong time but hey it's fine at least we're making up????)]

It's simply an observation, Hubert.

[Beat.]

And it's one I don't necessarily hear you denying...

I assumed the denial was implied...

[ohhhhhh my god, just let him turn away and hide the lower half of his face behind a hand, he isn't blushing that's just your imagination.]

[accept your punishment hubie!!!]

But I thought you were getting so good at stating your intentions. Besides, it's hard to argue with the facts, isn't it? Especially the ones laid out before me. Like those pink cheeks of yours, for example...

[Linhardt might actually be enjoying this. A lot, honestly.]

[blushing intensifies]

You're absolutely merciless. How long do you plan to keep going?

[he is gonna die, lin, please]

Well, if I tell you the answer, you'll stop doing it. I remember the last time this happened quite well, after all. And truly, until it stops being so fascinating.

[Linhardt does try to move from the bed a bit, at least enough to try to lean over to remove the hand hiding half of Hubert's face so he can see it.

He's fully expecting Hubert to make him stay in the bed, but he's gotta try!!]

[Oh hey look, something else to focus on!!]

Oh no you don't. You're not moving until your leg is fully healed.

[And back you go, he'll push Linhardt back into the bed and keep his hands on the other man's shoulders to keep him there.

(He's definitely still red, okay.)]

Oh, what ever will I do...

[There's a glimmer in his eyes as Hubert does that, as if the man has fallen for his trap while he stares at Hubert's face. Just as planned.]

But I suppose my hypothesis is correct; your face is much cuter when you're not hiding it.

[listen. he's had four years to stew on this shit and he's having the time of his life. don't take this from him!!]

[hubert von vestra walked right into an ambush and was brutally slaughtered, can i get an f]

I— Cute, of all things...

[He's going to move to sit in the chair over here and. try not to die of embarrassment. That's giving Linhardt entirely too much satisfaction so he won't do it!!

(He's totally doing it.)]

[do we respect this man enough to press f for him, is the real question

Either way, Linhardt chuckles and lets himself sort of. Flop back on the bed. It does sound like the fighting is dying down out there, but only barely...hopefully that's a good thing.

...But still--]

Is it really so bad to call it like it is, Hubert? I would think that you might respect that.

[he says, all too knowing about how embarrassing this is]

locked to darkseal

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject