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darkseal
[Truthfully speaking, this Ball was nothing more than a glorified dance class in Linhardt's mind. They were practically obligated to attend and partake, dancing with people and exchanging smiles and pleasantries; a ball like this was at least somewhat important to the nobility, Linhardt was sure, but as far as he was concerned? He had no business here, and the first chance he could get out, he took gladly.
He wasn't altogether sure about where to go, honestly; he could certainly just turn in for the night on his bed, or get back to his crest research, but there was another curiosity that he wanted to take a look at; the Goddess Tower. The details were a little fuzzy in Linhardt's mind, but he had heard some so-called rumors about what happened within the tower. Something interesting would happen if two people entered the tower...was it that they would be blessed by the Goddess if they shared a vow, or that they would be cursed for defiling her tower? Linhardt couldn't really recall off the top of his head, as it wasn't a topic that interested him too much, but...well, it was an interesting research opportunity and there was certainly a first time for everything.
But of course, he knew very well he wasn't exactly destined for much in the love department. As far as he was concerned, the Goddess Tower would be a once in a lifetime napping spot, and Linhardt intended to take the bait. It was surprisingly quiet, though he didn't doubt that there were people waiting to come in and try to find their 'true love', as they would likely call it. Linhardt finds his way to a nice spot within the tower, settling himself in for what's likely to be an interesting sleep, if nothing else.
Who knows, maybe he'll get to eavesdrop on some unlucky sap within the tower before he nods off, or perhaps even hear someone find the love of their life. The latter would certainly be a nice thought, for one of the others, perhaps. That would at least be interesting to hear...]
He wasn't altogether sure about where to go, honestly; he could certainly just turn in for the night on his bed, or get back to his crest research, but there was another curiosity that he wanted to take a look at; the Goddess Tower. The details were a little fuzzy in Linhardt's mind, but he had heard some so-called rumors about what happened within the tower. Something interesting would happen if two people entered the tower...was it that they would be blessed by the Goddess if they shared a vow, or that they would be cursed for defiling her tower? Linhardt couldn't really recall off the top of his head, as it wasn't a topic that interested him too much, but...well, it was an interesting research opportunity and there was certainly a first time for everything.
But of course, he knew very well he wasn't exactly destined for much in the love department. As far as he was concerned, the Goddess Tower would be a once in a lifetime napping spot, and Linhardt intended to take the bait. It was surprisingly quiet, though he didn't doubt that there were people waiting to come in and try to find their 'true love', as they would likely call it. Linhardt finds his way to a nice spot within the tower, settling himself in for what's likely to be an interesting sleep, if nothing else.
Who knows, maybe he'll get to eavesdrop on some unlucky sap within the tower before he nods off, or perhaps even hear someone find the love of their life. The latter would certainly be a nice thought, for one of the others, perhaps. That would at least be interesting to hear...]
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[His hand tightens a bit on Linhardt's anyway.]
I've certainly been better, but I'm recovering. I wouldn't have thought it possible.
[His free hand trails over the bandages for a moment before he settles again.]
I cannot thank you and Marianne enough. I should have died there.
[He squeezes Linhardt's hand.]
Thank you, for saving me.
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[Linhardt almost laughs at the irony of such a statement--Hubert really doesn't have a place to talk about that, but he supposes he'll give Hubert this one, just this once.]
I'm quite glad, but I had better not see you up and out of that bed until Marianne and I have given you the clearance to do so. You need to rest after all of that--you deserve to.
[Linhardt doesn't flinch when Hubert squeezes his hand, though he has to avert his gaze a bit--that should have died bothers him somewhat, but he winds up squeezing Hubert's hand back, and his free hand joins the other and envelops Hubert's hand.]
It's no trouble. Really, I'm... [He smiles.] ...I finally understand what you spoke of, back there--about how...if you want something so badly, you need to go out and get it for yourself.
Marianne and I, we carved that path forward to saving you. We carved through whatever that so-called fate had in store...and brought you back here, safely. And...I could not be happier...
[...There's something on the tip of his tongue, and it dies, so he tries to move past it. Why is he so uncertain? They already admitted their love, and yet--]
...I owe her a debt of thanks, myself. Perhaps once you are better, we can find some way to thank her for her assistance.
[...]
Thank you for holding on. I...I don't even want to imagine what could have happened if you...
[He trails off, gaze averting.]
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Yes, you did. Wishing alone wouldn't have saved me. I'm proud of you.
[Of both of them, really, but for now he's focused on Linhardt. After a moment he reaches up with his free hand for the side of Linhardt's face, fingers lingering gently there. It's like the last of his barriers and resistances have been broken down and he can finally express himself a bit more openly, at least while no one else is around.]
I'm here now, and I'm not going to leave your side. I... wish I had never worried you so much. [Mm, that's not quite what he wants to say...] I am... I am very sorry I worried you.
[It sounds a little stilted, but at least he manages the apology.]
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It feels like a miracle. A real miracle, that they forged with their own hands.]
...I forgive you. You may make me worry to the point that I get wrinkles, but I would not have it any other way--you're still here to worry over, and that's enough.
[Linhardt laughs a bit at his own joke, even if he knows it's stupid.]
I'm...I'm so happy to have you back by my side, my...my...my...
[...Gods, Linhardt wants to let down the final barrier himself--but gods, trying to take that step is making him tongue-tied and going pink in the cheeks. He's not unused to being forward, but to be forward on this level is a lot.]
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Do you want to give it a name? I can think of a few... though perhaps that's best saved for the... ah.
[Oh. Right.]
The Goddess Tower. I meant to wait and tell you everything there, but... Well, I suppose I got a bit caught up in the moment.
[To say the least.]
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...I do believe that we were both caught up in the moment when we spoke. It was almost...well, the last time that we would be able to speak to one another, and...
[He doesn't know how to finish that.]
At--at any rate, I... [Nnnnn.] ...I'm simply trying to cease this tongue-tied meandering...
[he. he doesn't necessarily Want To Die but boy does he wanna disappear under some covers for a while--]
But I...would not mind it--no, I'd rather like it, actually. If that is what you wish, as well, my...nngh...
[COME ON AND JUST SAY IT LIN, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME]
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You don't need to be embarrassed. I believe I can understand some hesitation and anxiety, however.
[He squeezes Linhardt's hand and rests his other on top of Linhardt's.]
I'll ask, then. Linhardt, will you do me the honor of...
[...]
Ah... courting me?
[The confidence lasts up until then and then it just sort of dies, like he's suddenly not sure Linhardt will agree despite the words they exchanged just a couple of days ago. He was trying to make this easier on Linhardt, and in the end he's only ended up worrying himself...
There's... also something more he wishes he could ask, but that's entirely too much right now. One step at a time. He's not sure how Linhardt feels about courting, but it can't hurt to take a small step in the right direction, right?]
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[Linhardt trails off, and he doesn't get the chance to pick his thoughts back up before Hubert's hands are atop his own, and he poses the question that makes Linhardt's heartbeat flutter. It takes a few seconds--only a few, because he sees how fast Hubert's confidence dies at the end of that and he can't keep a shocked look forever--
Linhardt chuckles.]
Of course I will. You--you foolish man, as if I could possibly say no to you? Because I couldn't, you know.
[Linhardt's more than happy, at any rate. He's almost elated--it's official now, isn't it? And it feels so good, it feels like something he's wanted all along.]
Aha...I'm afraid you may find me a touch lacking, in traditional courting technique. But if you'll have me, then I would be more than pleased to court you, my...
[Linhardt forces his way past his tongue-tiedness, though it results in the next words coming out weirdly stuttered and almost choked.]
My love.
[...NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE HIM HE'S JUST GONNA RECEDE EVEN FURTHER INTO THE HAND THAT'S HIDING HIS FACE, GODS.]
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It isn't easy to say, is it? Even though we know, it seems so difficult... I suppose we'll become more accustomed to it in time.
[He's smiling, the expression open and honest and easy, like he's never had a damn problem with expressing such emotion in his life.
He moves then, scooting over to one side of the bed and gesturing for Linhardt.]
Join me. I want to be near you.
[Closer to you is more accurate.]
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[That's muffled into Linhardt's hand, and he's practically steaming. Honestly, just put him in a pot, he'll set the whole thing to a fast boil at this point--
Linhardt does wind up looking to Hubert when he hears the man shift, eyes narrowing only slightly--and then the order comes in, and even if Linhardt knows it isn't an order...
Well, who is he to deny Hubert? Linhardt climbs into bed with him, carefully--he'll wait for Hubert to get adjusted on the bed before he decides how he wants to lie down.]
As if I could ever say no to an invitation like that...
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Good. I don't want to be apart from you.
[Not right now, at least. After a moment, he returns to their earlier topic.]
I'm not exactly... experienced in courting. I hardly know the basics. It was never something that I thought I'd need.
...I would like to meet your family at some point, though. When you're ready.
[Obviously Linhardt's going to have to tell them about him at some point, so he'd like to make a good impression...]
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[Linhardt easily fits into Hubert's side, and lets himself ease into the bed alongside him as they speak.
And that statement...Linhardt understands it, but the statement about his family gets his attention the most. He looks up at Hubert after that, with a look on his face that's almost contemplative...
Before it settles into a smile.]
Well, we can both be abysmal at this together. Or simply do it our own way; the only people we have to impress are each other, right?
[...]
I think they'd be delighted to meet you, you know--my family, I mean. [Linhardt chuckles a bit, the sound light.] They know I've changed, and for the better because of something significant--and Mother has always theorized about those letters that we sent back and forth. She was always so nosy, peeking over my shoulder, asking if I was writing to a significant other...
But I know that they would welcome you with open arms.
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[He moves to thread his hand through Linhardt's hair as the other man continues. It earns a noncommittal hum from him for a moment while he considers his response.]
I am aware of my... reputation among the nobles.
[It's carefully spoken, with no sense of judgment or discomfort with the idea. While he doesn't personally care what anyone thinks of him, it would be hard to ignore the whispered rumors. His father's sudden and violent death and his emergence as Her Majesty's right hand are surely no coincidence, and the nobles have always been the sort to talk when they really shouldn't. There are those who believe he's Her Majesty's enforcer; an assassin who kills those who disagree. It's not exactly far from the truth, but it doesn't paint him in a favorable light.]
That's why I would like to meet them for myself, so they can ease any doubts they may have about me. I wouldn't want them to think I would do anything to harm you.
[He couldn't, not even if Her Majesty ordered it.]
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Linhardt hadn't considered that angle, and goes contemplative again--that makes...a little more sense, when spoken like that. He's definitely not sure what his parents think of Hubert, at least in a general regard; he's always tended to tune out their talk of other nobility unless they spoke directly to him about someone, but he never considered that they might be apprehensive because of Hubert's so-called reputation...
It's a very valid worry, and if his parents do have apprehensions about that, that could pose an issue. Hrm.
...It's hard to be too pressed about it with Hubert's hand in his hair, though it's definitely food for thought.]
...I understand that, then. It would be for the best to dispel any doubts before they have the chance to linger in their minds. [Maybe it was a little silly to have blind faith in them, but Linhardt's parents haven't exactly failed him in any regard, so it's...definitely a little eye opening to think about.] But I am certain that once they meet you--the real you, not the you that they've heard of from the nobility who can't seem to stop their gums from flapping...they will warm up to you. And you won't be alone in easing their doubts, either.
[Some part of him wants to tell Hubert it won't matter--if worst did come to worst, Linhardt would be more than willing to cut off his family entirely to be with Hubert. He'd ensure that it wouldn't matter what the nobility thought in order to protect him; they could ignore them freely, without a care in the world.
At the same time...that's not attempting to deal with the issue, isn't it? That's avoiding it, and that isn't attempting to ease his worries at all. Linhardt is at least going to try, if nothing else.]
I know that they will be willing to listen to reason. And once they see the proof in front of their faces that you are not a terrible man in the slightest... [Once they see you the way I do.] ...They will come through. They're far from unreasonable people.
[If they were unreasonable, he surmises, they wouldn't have agreed to support the Empire at all despite his convincing.
He's certain that they'll come through--for both him, and Hubert. Perhaps they can give Hubert a true family to call his own, but--that's much further down the line.]
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I have no doubts that you can convince them that this is what you want. I don't wish to worry them with your well-being, that is all.
[He doesn't expect to be accepted with open arms; it's enough for him to be allowed to court Linhardt without House Hevring's interference. Not that it would matter much, of course. He could always accept Linhardt into House Vestra, considering that it only really consists of himself at the moment. Still, it would be best not to make trouble with such an influential part of the Empire.]
I appreciate it, truly. It isn't something we need to worry about right away, but knowing you will be there to assist helps ease my worries.
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[Linhardt's smile is a little lighter, though he doesn't go into another reason on his mind--he can do that when the time comes--and he lets himself ease into Hubert a little more, careful not to do anything that would agitate his injuries, of course.
Thinking about it...his mother will likely be easy to convince; she's seen all of those sappy letters that he's written to Hubert, after all, and the ones that Hubert has sent in kind. Even if she did keep her ears toward the other noblewomen, she's always been the more optimistic among herself and his father...he'd probably be the one that would need the most talking to, he surmises.
Linhardt's already setting a plan of attack in his mind, but he doesn't want to focus on that for now. Linhardt's own hand attempts to go to cup Hubert's cheek, brushing his thumb across it.]
But no, you are right--it is a bridge we can cross once we get to it. [There's a thumping in his heart, and he decides he has nothing to lose--they love each other, after all, and he quickly attempts to press a kiss to...well, the nearest place he can, which is likely attempting to be Hubert's other cheek and winds up being Hubert's jaw, but you know. Close enough.] And I will support you with all I can. I swear to you that I will.
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I wouldn't want to completely ruin my reputation, you know.
[It's teasing though; he doesn't care one way or another about his reputation. As long as he gets results for Her Majesty, that's what matters. It does help that he's seen as intimidating, but it's not as though he'd mind if Linhardt's parents were to see him differently.
The touch against his cheek gets him to turn to look at Linhardt, and the kiss pressed to his jaw causes his heart to stop. It isn't as though there's a problem - not really - but even something so small is still intensely intimate, and it sends a spike of fear through him. There are numerous reasons for it - he could hurt Linhardt again, he isn't sure he knows how to handle it, he doesn't think he can return Linhardt's affection in any meaningful way - and it takes him a moment to close his eyes and will it away.
He's afraid because he doesn't open himself up. He's afraid because he's spent so long carefully crafting these walls. He doesn't know what will happen when he lowers them, but there isn't anyone else he would want to let in like this.
It helps, and he relaxes. The hand in Linhardt's hair moves to the back of his head to gently encourage Linhardt to angle his head upwards.]
May I...?
[The question trails off, as though suddenly he's not sure he wants to ask it. Hubert's eyes dart to the side before he forces himself to look back at Linhardt and ask the damn question.]
May I kiss you?
[It's something he needs to ask after what happened last time. He understands if Linhardt can't agree to that - he certainly wouldn't blame him - but this is what he wants to do.]
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Linhardt is a little worried when he sees Hubert's eyes close, perhaps a little uncertain if he should have done that--what if he drove Hubert away again, after all? He's not sure if he could handle that--but Hubert's hand encourages him angle himself upward, likely for easier access, and he feels his heart beat out of his chest. He doesn't even hesitate with his answer. It may be a touch impulsive on his part, but he could have very easily never gotten this chance again if Hubert died.]
Yes. Yes, you certainly may.
[...No, that's not enough, and Linhardt's voice drops to a whisper when he speaks again.]
...Please do, in fact.
[Linhardt's wanted to try this again for so long, even if the fear of rejection--of getting left behind again, or worse, Hubert not wanting to speak with him again is very strong, but he wants this. He wants to make a good memory out of kissing Hubert this time.]
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So he leans in when Linhardt encourages him, and he kisses his friend - his boyfriend - like he's wanted to do countless times since his horrible mistake four years ago.
One hand remains at the back of Linhardt's head and the other holds Linhardt tightly to his side, like he can't bear to let go. He's still not experienced with this, but what he lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm and... desperation, if we're honest. He came really damn close to dying, and he doesn't have the time or patience to be shy about his affections any longer.]
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thirstydesperate for that much, for Hubert's lips to meet his, to kiss his boyfriend with everything he's got because they can kiss each other again--Linhardt returns the kiss enthusiastically, his own patience going right out the window as one of Linhardt's hands threads itself into Hubert's hair, letting out a contented noise into the kiss--gods this feels like heaven, even if there's that slight bit of fear in his heart that this could go badly again, he's far too desperate to care about that. He's wanted this for so long. He's going to make the most of it.
He'll even grant that invitation to deepen the kiss again, should Hubert want it, but this...this is wonderful. Linhardt couldn't be happier, or more deeply enthusiastic.]
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Unfortunately, breathing is a necessity, and he pulls back after a moment to catch his breath. He should probably have something to say - maybe an apology for last time, or a reassurance that he won't leave this time (even if he could move), but instead he decides that words are entirely too difficult right now and he doesn't want to bother with them. Instead he tips his head a bit, pressing slow, light kisses along Linhardt's jaw. He goes back to playing with Linhardt's hair again too, and the entire thing is almost lazy in how relaxed it is. There's no rush now, he's safe and Linhardt's here, and he's certainly going to monopolize his boyfriend's attention for as long as he can.]
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I love you...I love you so much, Hubert...
[Linhardt tone comes out very airy and light, and he winds up attempting to return those kisses in kind from his position, though he doesn't move his head to aim them anywhere in particular; it results in him essentially peppering what parts of Hubert's face he can reach with feather light, quick kisses, and he feels light laughter escape him while he does.
This is what he's wanted all along, isn't it? To kiss Hubert so freely, with so much love...with passion that would have only been reserved for his crest research, if he hadn't joined with the Empire.]
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I suspect we're already managing to break every rule of courting. I'd assume kissing is off limits for quite some time and "I love you"s should be saved for... later.
[Marriage, but that sends a shiver up his spine and he's not sure if it's fear, excitement, or something else entirely. That's certainly not something he should be thinking about right now.]
Not that I mind, of course. I love you too, Linhardt.
[The words feel so right, even though they open him up like nothing else ever has. He's safe with Linhardt - he's known that for a long time now.]
I never would have imagined I'd be lucky enough to wind up with you. I wouldn't ever want anyone else to ever see you like this. You're adorable.
[It's absolutely teasing, but he means every word of it.]
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As if a few courting rules could stop us...I'd like to think that after all we've faced, we should get a pass for cheating a few of those steps.
[Hubert's being so open with him and Linhardt loves it so much. Even the teasing, that makes him flush ever so slightly, is something he adores--he's always been used to being the one to tease Hubert, even if it was mostly experimental, but this...]
You're going to make me blush if you keep calling me that...
[This comes from a place of love, and Linhardt can't help but fire back. He wants to, because he wants Hubert to know how much he loves him]
I wouldn't either, however...that I would ever end up with someone as compassionate and handsome as you pleases me ever so much...
[...That's trying to be teasing but comes off far more genuine.]
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[Another laugh, though something occurs to him then.]
...Although perhaps this has something to do with your wish at the Goddess Tower. It pains me to say it, but perhaps you were right. Maybe it wasn't sheer willpower alone that got us to where we are now.
[He doesn't believe in fate, or an outside hand that could guide them, but this... in a way, it almost feels like someone or something helped them find the right path to walk together.]
I suppose I can't be that upset about being wrong if it means I'm here with you.
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