locked to darkseal

[hevring]

[Truthfully speaking, this Ball was nothing more than a glorified dance class in Linhardt's mind. They were practically obligated to attend and partake, dancing with people and exchanging smiles and pleasantries; a ball like this was at least somewhat important to the nobility, Linhardt was sure, but as far as he was concerned? He had no business here, and the first chance he could get out, he took gladly.

He wasn't altogether sure about where to go, honestly; he could certainly just turn in for the night on his bed, or get back to his crest research, but there was another curiosity that he wanted to take a look at; the Goddess Tower. The details were a little fuzzy in Linhardt's mind, but he had heard some so-called rumors about what happened within the tower. Something interesting would happen if two people entered the tower...was it that they would be blessed by the Goddess if they shared a vow, or that they would be cursed for defiling her tower? Linhardt couldn't really recall off the top of his head, as it wasn't a topic that interested him too much, but...well, it was an interesting research opportunity and there was certainly a first time for everything.

But of course, he knew very well he wasn't exactly destined for much in the love department. As far as he was concerned, the Goddess Tower would be a once in a lifetime napping spot, and Linhardt intended to take the bait. It was surprisingly quiet, though he didn't doubt that there were people waiting to come in and try to find their 'true love', as they would likely call it. Linhardt finds his way to a nice spot within the tower, settling himself in for what's likely to be an interesting sleep, if nothing else.

Who knows, maybe he'll get to eavesdrop on some unlucky sap within the tower before he nods off, or perhaps even hear someone find the love of their life. The latter would certainly be a nice thought, for one of the others, perhaps. That would at least be interesting to hear...]

Comments

[hevring]

I can rest and still study, you know...

[There's a bit of annoyance in his tone at that, and it's causing something to feel tangled in his chest again. He doesn't want to acknowledge it, really, and he kind of turns over on the bed so Hubert can't see his face. (Or, well, hopefully he can't.)

Of course, the true question of the hour causes Linhardt's body to visibly tense on the bed before he forces himself to ease, just...bringing his blanket closer to himself.]

It's...fine, you know; nothing to be concerned over. I can't afford to be idle, that's all.

[He doesn't want to talk about it.]

[darkseal]

Neither can I.

[Irritation flares within him before it is immediately crushed. He's not even sure if he's annoyed with Linhardt for being so stubborn or with himself for not catching on earlier.]

But I seem to recall an incident in which someone reminded me that I need to take care of myself as well.

[The words aren't pointed, but they are blunt. He stands, pushing the chair in and carefully stepping around Linhardt's books and papers.]

I'll be back in a bit. Try to rest, and don't even think of leaving your bed.

[He leaves then, a bit too quickly, perhaps. He needs to be out of the room and back on his own so he can find a way to mask his rebellious emotions.

He leans against the wall just outside Linhardt's room for a moment, where he can't be seen by anyone else. No one riles him up like this, no one frustrates him and makes him ache like this.

But he doesn't have time to stop and consider what all this means. There's so much that needs to happen, and so little time left. He can consider everything later.

For now, he has to fetch his friend some food and something light to read while he tends to him. As best he can, anyway.]

[hevring]

[The reminder stings--he knows, he knows very well that he said the same damn thing when Hubert overworked himself. It was different then, though, or so Linhardt thinks, as hypocritical as that is--something he's unwilling to acknowledge. He can't afford to be idle now, not when Edelgard is likely scrutinizing his resolve and everything he's capable of, and the likelihood that if she just says the word that Hubert, his friend, the one who inspires so many weird feelings and probably cast a hex on him if the goddess herself didn't, will kill him without hesitation and--

He has the decency to wait until Hubert leaves to let the venom escape unbidden, and he feels himself clutch that bear in a practical death grip.]

That's easy for you to say when you aren't the one who's potentially expendable.

[He's thankful Hubert is gone when he says that much. Hubert doesn't need to hear that, and as soon as the words leave him, he...well, he doesn't settle, but he's at least a little better. Probably. Or he's just shoved everything down because That Sure Is An Emotion He Doesn't Like.

Either way, he will wait for Hubert in his bed, as ordered. He does wind up turning over so he can look at the door when Hubert comes back in, getting himself comfortable since he's clearly gonna be there a while.]

[darkseal]

[It takes him longer to gather everything that it should.

It isn't because he has a difficult time finding books, or because there isn't much in the way of food he can take without having to prepare, it's because he takes his time with it.

Anger doesn't suit him. Even irritability and annoyance aren't advisable for a man in his position, though it's difficult to quell those entirely.

Linhardt is working hard to prove himself. He's attempting to be an asset to Lady Edelgard's plans. He's working with Reason magic and taking the job he's been given seriously. All of this should be something he's encouraging, not something that's aggravating him like this.

Why is it aggravating him like this? That's the question he keeps asking himself and one he keeps pushing aside and away, refusing to think about. Refusing to answer. He might already know the answer, and it's not something he's ready to put any serious thought into.]

Infuriating. [It's murmured into the stillness of the library.] Absolutely infuriating.

[He manages to find a few books that will help him with Linhardt's fever, though obtaining the herbs tonight will be far too difficult. He can get them from the merchants tomorrow morning. With any luck, he won't be gone for very long.

With any luck, Linhardt will get over this soon.]

And get over himself while we're at it.

[It's the sort of petty he never allows himself to sink to, but it makes him feel a little better anyway.

By the time he's located a couple of books for Linhardt and reached the kitchen, he's feeling less irritated. He prepares a tray and even manages to locate a small bag of chocolates (that was probably being hidden for someone to snack on later, but too bad). He returns quickly, managing to get the door open somehow despite all he's carrying.

He hands the tray over to Linhardt once he's in the room, moving to shut the door once that's done.]

Eat first, you can have the books once you're done if you're not tired.

[There's nothing cold in the words, just the usual blunt tone of voice. He sets Linhardt's books on the desk (near him, so Linhardt won't snatch them), though it's probably obvious that despite his words, he's picked up something that isn't exactly light reading.

They're books on crests, and even judging from the titles on the spines alone, it seems like he was paying attention when Linhardt had rambled at length about them.

The book he's currently got open is easily recognizable as a medical text. It's not one based in Faith magic - he's never had any desire to learn and would make for a poor healer anyway - but rather in the more practical ways to tend to illnesses. There's another book on the subject too; Hubert came prepared.

He won't talk to Linhardt while he's eating, but that's not because he's angry. He needs to figure out what to do to help with Linhardt's fever, so this is more pressing.]

[hevring]

[Linhardt winds up moving the bear out of the way when Hubert comes back into the room, setting him so he's taking a seat next to Linhardt on the bed so there's plenty of room for the tray. Gods, all of this looks delicious...Hubert will likely see Linhardt's eyes light up the slightest bit when he spies the chocolate, and then even more when he spies the books, ones he hasn't even gotten a chance to read yet--Hubert really did go out of his way for him, didn't he?

It's...nice, it's really nice, and it takes a few seconds to realize that thinking about it too hard is making his cheeks heat and he likely looks even sicker as a result, so he's just gonna stop before this gets more embarrassing.]

...Thank you, Hubert. I truly appreciate this.

[Linhardt will start eating after he says that, though, more than content to let the room go quiet while Hubert reads. He won't even try to stealthily get rid of the vegetables as a token of thanks!

...He admittedly does wind up attempting to sneak chocolate between every few bites of the actual food, but if Hubert tells him to stop, he will. Otherwise, he has no qualms at all; he actually does eat in relatively short order, at least, likely owing to how hungry he was. That's a little embarrassing, honestly, but at least he didn't do it as fast as Caspar at his worst...

...Of course, Linhardt is kind of feeling drowsy now, which is a bit of a mistake because he doesn't want to go to sleep (for once), so he looks at the desk and the books Hubert brought...]

Are you sure I can't have one book before bed? It may help me get to sleep...

[oh my god you sound like a kid]

[darkseal]

[He nods at the thanks, though doesn't speak otherwise. He does notice Linhardt sneaking chocolates, and gives the other man a bit of a look at it. But he doesn't reprimand him or tell him to stop.

He glances up from the book when Linhardt finishes, and there's a slight twitch in his mouth that might have been him repressing an attempted smile.]

Nonsense. You'll get absorbed in what you're reading and be awake all night. You need to rest, Linhardt. You'll have plenty of time to read tomorrow.

[hevring]

[Oh, come on...Linhardt definitely looks a little put out, but he catches that slight twitch and just. Closes his eyes, allowing himself to flop back on the pillow since he's done.]

...You do know me entirely too well.

[I'd rather not render myself entirely useless. is a thought that enters his head, causing his brow to furrow a bit before he settles, grabbing the bear again and nestling into the covers.]

But I suppose that is a fair point to make. I promise I'll go to sleep like a good infant, then.

[That's definitely joking, but he will listen, okay.]

[darkseal]

You'd better.

[It isn't a threat, and he loses the battle to keep the smile at bay.]

I'll be here if you need anything.

[Hope you weren't planning on having any privacy?? He's just. Going to sit here all night, apparently.]

[hevring]

[...Linhardt's actually not sure what to say to that, or what part of that is making that goddess forsaken hex act up, but all he winds up doing is chuckling and promptly burying himself under the covers.]

Well, I didn't know this was going to become a slumber party.

[...His words are a bit muffled as a result of said burying, but he doesn't sound like he minds, though? He's a little too tired to tell, admittedly, but he sounds almost pleased by the idea.]

Try to get some sleep as well, when you're able. My desk is open, as you already know. [He wasn't lying about the guest bed comment, at least...??? But once again, Lin's invitation is forward. One day he'll learn some tact.] Good night, Hubert.

[darkseal]

I certainly wouldn't call it a party.

[But he's still smirking even as he turns back to his book.]

Good night, Linhardt. Do try to recover quickly.

[He won't go to sleep any time soon; he has to make sure Linhardt gets his rest, after all.]

[hevring]

I'll do what I can, then. Good night...

[He falls asleep...well, not very easily; Hubert will likely hear Linhardt toss and turn throughout the night, though he eventually settles enough to finally get some peaceful shut-eye. It's probably the most uninterrupted sleep he's gotten since deciding to join with Edelgard and Hubert...funny how that works.

Still, he does wind up waking in the early morning, kind of blearily looking around the room before he settles upon Hubert again, conked right out at his desk. It's...actually kind of cute to witness again; he at least hopes that Hubert is sleeping somewhat soundly, after all he's done to watch out for him. It's thanks to him that Linhardt didn't just overwork himself to...well, the infirmary really, dealing with Manuela is a thing he'd rather avoid at all cost--but that's beside the point.

Linhardt does feel a little more energized. Slightly, at least. The least he can do is try to repay Hubert a little bit, he feels. Sure, the man will likely yell at him if he catches him out of bed, but surely it's fine! He's just trying to do something nice for his friend. That's all it is. That's totally all it is. As long as he does this quickly, and gets back into bed before Hubert notices, it'll be all well and good. He's sure he can think up a good lie!

(He is, in fact, not sure and Hubert knows damn well he's bad at lying, this is gonna be a disaster.)

Quietly and stealthily as possible (for Linhardt, at least), he tiptoes out of bed and slowly goes to pick up the blanket he had attempted to toss the day prior. It's easy enough to pick up at least, though he's definitely going back to bed after this; he's still feeling warm and he'd rather be warm in bed than warm walking, thank you very much. Once it's carefully in his hands, he slowly makes his way over, careful to not try to disturb the myriad of papers and books on his floor, before attempting to lay the blanket on Hubert's shoulders.

He just hopes this works so he can go back to bed and have Hubert be none the wiser...]

[darkseal]

[Hubert honestly isn't sure when exactly he decided he was going to sleep, but it must have happened at some point. He's still fast asleep when Linhardt leaves the bed and retrieves the blanket, but the moment he feels something on him he stiffens, and Linhardt will catch those bright yellow eyes open approximately a second before he's speaking.]

What do you think you're doing out of bed?

[It's almost like he hadn't been asleep at all; there's no time between waking up and being awake enough to scold the other man. He's asleep one moment and wide awake the next, which is a little weird. But it's Hubert, so of course it's weird.

He sits up, the blanket falling back around his shoulders and he catches it before it falls. It's easy enough to put the pieces together.]

Ah, I see. You should be in bed.

[It's less harsh the second time.]

[hevring]

[You know, Linhardt doesn't usually get surprised so easily. He goes with the flow pretty damn well, and he doesn't really have it in him to be all too startled.

This? This manages to startle him.]

--Hubert! I, uh...

[Well, congratulations, Hubert, you scared the man. Linhardt actively jumps a bit--stumbling some but thankfully not falling over, eyes widening for a moment before he settles. Is this man even human? Usually people are drowsy as all hell after being woken out of a dead sleep, but that's...

...Well, okay, okay, he gets the hint and goes back into bed, sighing.]

I suppose no good deed goes unpunished... [He yawns a bit, before looking to Hubert.] When did you fall asleep, anyway? You're surprisingly well rested for someone who just woke out of a dead sleep...

[...He assumes, anyway? He hopes???]

[darkseal]

I have to be. I am Lady Edelgard's protector, and should it be necessary, her first line of defense.

[...]

I have trained myself to be awake and ready at a moment's notice. Should an enemy ambush us, I will be ready to battle immediately, without the risk of allowing anything to harm Lady Edelgard.

[...Hubert, as always, is extremely Extra.]

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure when I dozed off. It's been long enough, at least.

[...perhaps unsurprisingly, Hubert's one of those weirdoes who can function just fine on like four hours of sleep.]

[hevring]

[...

Hubert. Friend. Buddy. Are you okay. Linhardt's face does a Thing when he says that much, and he's not sure if he admires the amount of effort Hubert's willing to put in or if he's doing a concern...]

Well, I suppose that is a fair point. Being ready at a moment's notice is certainly an advantage to have over your enemy, and they would prove rather frightened if they saw just how fast you were able to regain consciousness...

[...]

In any case, may I have one of those books now? I don't think I'll be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

[...please go to sleep, Hubie, oh my god he'll stay in bed and not move, just never do that again.]

[darkseal]

Precisely. It can only be beneficial.

[He... doesn't think it's weird... or creepy...]

You may, as long as you promise not to overwork yourself.

[He hands both books over, though he'll be keeping a close eye on Linhardt.]

[hevring]

[HUBERT, HONEY...]

You really have so little faith in me, don't you...

[Linhardt honestly sounds kind of exasperated, though he takes the books readily and just kind of buries himself in them. He'll be a good boy and not try to leave the bed again.

Some time will definitely pass by before Linhardt speaks up again--it's more of an idle thing than anything, something because he hasn't really been talking in a bit, but...]

You know, you'd think that cutting out all of those naps would have actually been more beneficial in the long run.

[Linhardt's calm when he says that much. He's been a little cagey in regards to why this happened, and he knows it, but...it didn't feel fair.

He's not sure how much he wants to say (or how much Hubert will ask of him) but...it's a start, at least.]

[darkseal]

[Hubert's reading too, so he doesn't mind the silence that spans between them. It's not exactly comfortable since he's still keeping an eye on Linhardt, but it's not bad either. Maybe if Linhardt wasn't sick, this would genuinely be nice. Just a moment where he can put everything else aside and focus on something that feels so trivial compared to the work he's been doing for Lady Edelgard.

...Not that taking care of Linhardt is trivial, not at all. He seems to be doing better, anyway.

He glances up at Linhardt's words, considering them carefully before responding.]

Not everyone requires the same amount of sleep. Lady Edelgard has difficulties getting up in the morning if she hasn't gotten at least six hours of sleep.

[1. why do you know that and 2. why are you making that sound like it's weird???]

It's possible that you require more sleep than most people. Your sleep schedule is erratic as well, is it not? That could have something to do with it as well.

[...]

While I can't say I personally care for the amount of naps you take, as long as you're doing what we've asked of you, there's no harm in taking breaks. Pushing yourself to your very limit will only cause setbacks.

[Straightforward, but there's a hint of something beneath it. It might have been open worry in another person, but it's Hubert so of course any and all emotions are Difficult.]

[hevring]

[Linhardt isn't surprised that Hubert knows exactly how much sleep Edelgard needs; he's been attending to her needs for what probably counts as forever, so his knowledge of that is...unsurprising, to say the least.

Still, he...kind of gets what the man is getting at--it's no less frustrating, because the more he thinks about it, the more it feels like a false platitude. It feels like he's not doing enough, that he needs to push himself harder because it's only a matter of time before they spring their plan and he doesn't want to get left behind and have to face the possibility of--

Linhardt's look gets surprisingly stormy, the more he thinks about it, and he winds up just...hiding his face in his book a bit. Trying to push the thoughts out. Push the anxieties out. He can't afford to hesitate, he can't afford to falter anymore, because it's not just Hubert he has to impress anymore.]

My sleep schedule has always been like this, yes. The sweet embrace of sleep has always proven far too tempting...but...

[On one hand, he does tire out pretty easily. On the other, he's...never had to properly manage his time for a day in his goddamn life, and lord knows he spends more time than anyone reading on crests and anything to do with crests? He doesn't have time for any of the other shit he should be doing, usually, because he's always stuck to what interested him.

...This is probably the biggest reality check that Linhardt's actually faced thus far, in hindsight.]

...No, never mind. It's likely an inane worry.

[He puts his book back down and goes back to reading, once again avoiding actually saying what's on his mind or acknowledging there's a problem. Because goddammit Lin.]

[darkseal]

[The stormy look gets him to pause, poised to turn the next page in the book (because of course he can manage to read while talking, this is Hubert what do you expect) but at that look he hesitates. He listens when Linhardt decides to talk, and the words help him make up his mind.

Hubert shuts the book, setting it down on the desk as he turns to give the other man his full attention. He crosses his legs and folds his hands on his knee. It still manages to look poised, though it's more relaxed than he usually gets around anyone.]

Linhardt. [It's not warning or scolding, just an attempt to get the other man's attention.] This goes beyond just your sleep schedule.

[He doesn't know that, not really. Hubert has always been good at reading people, but a good amount of his methods involve guessing until he hits on something that will assist him. That's what this is based in, but this isn't about ensuring Linhardt's usefulness.

He wants to know what's troubling his friend. He has a pretty damn good idea of what it is already.]

Tell me what's on your mind.

[It isn't an order. It's not exactly the most conversational either, but he's paying attention and eager to listen.]

[hevring]

[Some part of Linhardt hates that Hubert knows basically all of his tells at this point. If Linhardt were a more emotionally competent man in his own right, he'd probably realize it isn't so much that, as much as it is the fact that he can only keep a solid lid on what he wants to avoid for so long before it starts seeping out. Eventually, something's got to give.

Fortunately for Hubert, that something is Linhardt. He doesn't look up from the book (he's not so bad at multi-tasking either), but he does start talking. It's...definitely a little stunted, considering Linhardt's own problems with expressing himself, but he's. He's trying.]

I don't feel as if I have enough time to properly...prove, nor brace myself for what's to come. [It's a start, though it really sounds like he's trying to suss it out as he speaks, though he winds up putting the book down and staring at one of his hands with that unreadable expression he's tended to employ a few times.] ...I've never liked killing, you know. Ever since our first day on the field, when I felt that bandit's blood on my hands...it disgusted me beyond reproach. It's why I've focused myself entirely on faith magic, to avoid having to take lives as much as possible. I can't avoid it forever, I know that, but being able to heal others on the battlefield...it let me have some form of use. Even if I couldn't fell enemy after enemy, I could heal the scars on our classmates, and ensure that they could live to see tomorrow. That's all I had prepared myself for, because I...

I never wanted to kill. I never wanted blood on my hands, to see the light fade from another human being's eyes...

But I know if I don't prepare myself now--if I don't spend every waking hour that I can to prepare myself for this moment, I risk only becoming a liability to Edelgard and yourself. I risk...being seen as expendable, as nothing but a burden to be discarded and thrown away. And that's...that's...

[Linhardt pauses, though he forces himself to find his words before Hubert starts talking. There's something that creeps in his tone, despite his face not changing; it sounds like fear.]

That's not the scariest thought, I think. I'd...rather be expendable, I think than face the idea that I would have to face you, should I falter.

[...oh. He's mostly just been trying to force his thoughts together, the intricate puzzle forcing itself to connect piece by piece, and somehow...he thinks he's found the root of it. It's making his chest tighten something fierce, and he doesn't want to look at Hubert after he says it.]

I won't betray the trust you both have given me. I won't, and I will do what is required. But...I need to work harder, and if not harder, I need to find a way to work smarter so that may never come to pass. I need to ensure that I prove that I can do what you both require of me. That's why I...

[...he trails off there. He's said too much already, practically laid himself bare before Hubert, and it's...frightening, really.]

[darkseal]

[It is frightening, and Hubert's expression probably isn't helping. It's the same one he always wears, an expression he's carefully crafted over the years to hide anything that might lurk beneath the surface. It's just shy of pleasant, but it isn't as openly intimidating as so many of his other faces.

He doesn't speak for a moment. He tips his head a bit, raising a hand to his chin as he considers Linhardt's words. Slowly - ever so slowly - that expression begins to fade, replaced with something neutral. It's not worried, but it's contemplative. His gaze drifts to the books on the desk. Eventually he speaks.]

I can't say I fully understand all your concerns. The path I walk is not one most people can understand, and I don't expect them to. My devotion to Lady Edelgard is single-minded; nothing else matters in the world but her ideals and her goal. I would cut down anyone - everyone - if it meant she could do what she must.

It isn't a viewpoint that most could understand. It certainly isn't one I would ask of you.

We are very different people. I have never had any talent for healing with magic or otherwise. My hands were stained long before arriving here. I haven't hesitated to kill, and I certainly won't now when we're so close. Quite a few people would find that horrifying and repulsive.

[He doesn't sound bothered by that idea at all. It's a fact, that's all.

But Linhardt has never looked at him that way.]

I must admit, I was surprised that you wanted to be my friend. We're almost exact opposites and I never would have thought you'd join us.

[...]

Were it in my power, I would not station you in any position where you could see battle. I would find a use for your research, and find a safe place to put you, where you would never see the horrors of war.

But I can't do that. Any personal feelings I may have must always be pushed aside. This is my path, and one I could never give up on.

[It isn't comforting, and he knows it. It isn't an explanation Linhardt really needs either; he probably knows all of this already. Hubert hesitates.]

I never wanted to drag you into this. It would have happened at some point, surely, but my hope was that you would remain with your family. I don't know if you would have been safe there, but you would have been far away from the path Lady Edelgard and I walk.

[Maybe that's admitting too much. He finds he doesn't really care right now.]

Speaking strictly from a strategic standpoint, it would be ideal for you to continue focusing on both Faith and Reason. If everything were purely about strategy, however, Lady Edelgard and I would have created a very different approach.

I would like it if you pursued Faith magic exclusively. There are powerful spells that you can defend yourself with if necessary, but the abilities you'll gain in support will be indispensable. There are plenty of mages with talents in Reason magic, far less so in Faith.

[At least within this house, that is...]

There isn't much I can say to put your mind at ease. But Linhardt, you do remember the day you assisted me, correct? I had been pushing myself harder than usual in an attempt to further Lady Edelgard's goals. In the end, I cost us several days of recovery time. It wasn't productive to push myself that hard, and it only served to worry the people around me.

[...Except Lady Edelgard, who still doesn't know about that particular slip-up. It's fine. She doesn't need to know.]

If you cannot think of the people who will be worried about you when you hurt yourself like that, at least consider it from a practical standpoint. Who will be there to help us keep an eye on those in the monastery if you are unable to do so? You are our only other ally in these walls, Linhardt. You're already doing everything we require of you.

[The words still aren't comforting, and probably never will be. Even so, he does what he can and opens himself up just the tiniest bit in the process.]

[hevring]

[In a strange way, the way Hubert speaks to him is comforting.

Oh, it'd never be a comfort to anyone else; all they would see is an intimidating shadow of a man, who wouldn't have empathy for their issues at all, who they wouldn't even give the time of day to, much less even try to understand the point of view of. Linhardt can't say that he understands Hubert perfectly, or as much as Edelgard likely does, but he tries. He wants to try, because Hubert is his friend, he's someone who inspires a lot of odd feelings and makes him worry every now and again, he's someone who kills all too easily, but--]

Those people don't know anything about you, and quite frankly, they should mind their own business.

[It's the sole interjection Linhardt offers while Hubert talks, shortly after he mentions that people would find it repulsive and horrifying that he's killed others before. He doesn't look at Hubert's face, and really, Lin's...not really looking at anything, right now. Sure, he looks like he's looking pretty intently into that book of his, but...his expression is still in that weirdly unreadable state. It's odd, really, because his expression doesn't really change even if he definitely gives an indication that he's listening.

Linhardt's listening attentively to everything Hubert is saying, because even if the man is terrible at this, there is something Linhardt has learned.

He's so remarkably honest when he doesn't have to lie to get ahead. Linhardt trusts him, and all that he says; he knows that Hubert would have wanted him to be as far away from this path that he and Edelgard are carving for themselves. He knows that Hubert would want something different for him, if he were the ultimate deciding factor in this, and that alone is comforting. It's more consideration than most have ever given him in his life. Everything that Hubert has done for him has been something that nobody else has really tried, to understand him, going out of his way to apologize with his favorite things, comforting him with the knowledge that he's doing enough, that things would be different, that he cares, at least somewhat--

...When did his vision start to blur? It's practically swimming in front of him, but he doesn't feel lightheaded, or anything like that. So why...?]

...I do believe I understand, now, what you mean.

[Linhardt's tone is calm. Remarkably calm, for how fearful he had gotten towards the end.]

I think I truly needed it put into perspective, that being reckless wasn't going to solve any problems; all it would do is create them, and cost the both of you precious time that you need to realize your plans. And that I'm doing enough, to assist you both, with what I am already trying to accomplish.

[Oh, blinking solves the problem of that blurred vision very easily. He should have done that sooner. It's strange, though--is he sweating again? He feels something roll down his cheek...]

...And I appreciate your honesty, as well; I know you wouldn't give up on that path of yours for anything in the world, and I would never ask you to do such a thing. But to know what you would have done in an ideal situation...it's comforting to me; it goes a long way toward helping me feel at ease. [...] You are always so incredibly honest, when you don't have any orders not to be. Did you know that? I always liked that about you.

[He still does. That goes without saying.]

Ah, but I'm blathering. What I mean to say is...I hear you, loud and clear. I am thankful for your understanding. I will do everything I can to properly pace myself, so I don't cost either of you vital information--and so that I may be able to assist you both properly, when the time comes.

[Ah, the sweat is coming down again...he'd need to clean off his face at some point. He can't be bothered to do it right now. He'll just have to deal with it.]

...Thank you, Hubert. I am very glad to call you my friend, and I won't allow this to happen to myself again.

[...He doesn't even realize he's been crying this entire time. Linhardt hasn't cried since he was a child, and he's never really cried like a normal person once his childhood was over; his face would always be that unreadable expression, as it has been for quite some time, and the tears would just...roll, despite himself. There's no hitches of breath, no shuddering, stuttering tone, nor any real indication that he was breaking down. The only way one would know is if they looked directly at his face, and noticed.

It's been a long time since this has happened, and he doesn't really even realize it. Perhaps he should be humiliated; Linhardt doesn't really seem to care either way. It's...strange, even after he's said his piece, and he's not sure he's said enough at this point, but he knows he hears Hubert. He knows that he's trying.

And that's more than most have ever been willing to do for him, and he's grateful.]

[darkseal]

[Hubert's eyes remain on the books, and he's very tempted to reach out to flip one open, just to give himself something to do with his hands. It's a terrible habit of his, one he has done his best to train himself out of over the years. Fidgeting does quite a lot to dispel the intimidating front he puts on, after all. Even though it wouldn't matter here - he has no reason to intimidate Linhardt and he doesn't want to - he still finds himself refusing to give in to the temptation.

It isn't that he's not focused on Linhardt, but his attention is elsewhere and he misses when the crying starts. All he knows is one minute everything is fine (awkward, but fine) and the next tears are rolling down Linhardt's face and he's entirely unsure of what caused it.

Hubert understands crying a lot better than most people would think, though he can't recall the last time he cried.

No, it was Lady Edelgard that was often brought to tears. When they were little, she used to cry so easily. Over the years she trained herself out of it, but back then... Well, to be honest, he never really learned what to do when Lady Edelgard had cried in front of him. Even as a child he was terrible at this, and sometimes when she got so worked up and upset, she'd sit next to him and sob into his shoulder. Eventually he had learned it was okay to touch her - to pat her back or if she was feeling particularly needy, to wrap his arms around her.

They had been children, but even now he remembers it all too clearly.

It isn't appropriate to do the same for Linhardt. It wouldn't have been appropriate if this was Lady Edelgard bursting into tears, so of course it isn't something he should do. But the urge is there, stronger than it ever was when Lady Edelgard cried.

He knows he's staring - his expression a bit too open and honest and confused - but he can't find the words he needs or wants right now. Comfort has never come easily to him, and he doesn't understand why Linhardt's crying in the first place.]

...Linhardt.

[It isn't harsh, it isn't demanding. It's not comforting or gentle either, but nothing about Hubert is or ever will be.]

I didn't mean to upset you. I...

[The words dry up in his throat. They always do when it comes to apologies. His gaze darts and he shifts, fingers absently going to the hem of his glove before he stops himself and reconsiders.

He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket instead, offering it to Linhardt without another word.]

[hevring]

...Huh?

[Linhardt sounds genuinely confused, honestly kind of surprised when Hubert actually speaks up, finally turning to actually look at him and finding himself utterly confused by the assertion--had Hubert upset him? No, he's pretty sure that he was...honestly kind of relieved by what Hubert said, so why is he offering him a handkerchief...???

He'll. He'll take it, though he looks very confused. Despite, you know, the tears still kind of coming down, but. Nobody ever said Linhardt was emotionally competent.

(Congratulations, Hubert, you're actually more competent than Linhardt in this regard.)]

Thank you...? I don't believe you upset me, but I was feeling a little sweaty...it might just be the fever acting up again.

[Yes, that's it. It's not any sort of emotions going on. It's just the fever, he's sure, as he wipes his face off some.

...I'm so sorry.]