hevring: (😴 Fourteen.)
Linhardt von Hevring ([personal profile] hevring) wrote in [community profile] sranks2020-11-02 04:09 pm

fake dating au: world's dumbest idiots edition


a catch-all for this dumbfuckery
darkseal: (♝ 46)

[personal profile] darkseal 2020-11-03 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
[There's so much to do before Lady Edelgard takes the throne. Given her... relationship with Lorenz, she's busy playing the part of a normal schoolgirl, which leaves Hubert handling most of the research and background work. Not that he minds - this is the area he's best at, after all. But it still does trouble him that he can't be in multiple places at once; he really would prefer to keep an eye on Lady Edelgard while she spends time with that buffoon, and then there's the problem of Linhardt...

Linhardt is easily one of the smartest in their class, and if they have to worry about anyone figuring things out, it's Linhardt. Sure, he's usually lazy and doesn't have much of a reason to investigate them intensely, so they've assumed they'll be safe... But Hubert's noticed Linhardt's been working on something lately. He seems to constantly be around observing people - and quite often Lady Edelgard is one of them. It's certainly possible that Linhardt's stumbled on something related to his crest research that just so happens to line up in such a way, but Hubert isn't one to assume such things. So it falls to him to keep an eye on Linhardt as well.

Today he's been prioritizing the former over the latter; he does still have quite a few records to research to see if there's any other holes he can exploit in the monastery's defenses when it comes time for the Empire to march. But here's Linhardt, and Hubert carefully sets the book aside as the other mage approaches. Considering it's just some dusty old tome on the monastery itself, it shouldn't be too suspicious.]


Of course. Would you care to speak here, or...?

[He inclines his head a bit toward the door, just in case Linhardt would prefer more privacy. Not that the library's ever all that busy around this time of day anyway, of course.]
darkseal: (♝ 56)

[personal profile] darkseal 2020-11-03 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[Hubert nods at that, and only takes a moment to put the book back before joining Linhardt in the hall. There aren't usually many people up here unless they're going to the library, so at this time of day the hallway is deserted.

He isn't particularly surprised at Linhardt's blunt and rather rude remark, but it isn't as though Hubert's ever been bothered by not having a crest. The Vestra family has always been rather lucky in that they're in a strange position where a crest has never been necessary for their lineage, so the remark is little more than a mild annoyance at worst. He does raise his visible eyebrow, but doesn't interrupt.]


That depends on what it is you want me to assist with, precisely.

[He is really not here to become Linhardt's test subject for whatever he may have up his sleeve, but this is admittedly a fantastic way to keep an eye on him. Perhaps this will at least confirm whether or not Linhardt is starting to suspect Lady Edelgard of anything. So sure, he'll play along for now - it can't be that bad, right??]
darkseal: (♝ 49)

[personal profile] darkseal 2020-11-03 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[...In hindsight, maybe he should have been a bit more concerned about what it was Linhardt was seeking his help for.

This is certainly... different and not at all what Hubert was expecting. Linhardt has always been blunt and straight-forward, and hearing it laid out like this makes it clear that Linhardt's thought this out - he isn't the sort to joke about something like this. But the fact that he considered all of this and then decided to ask Hubert for help with the concept of love is almost laughable.

But no, that's simply taking it at face value. All of these are pretty words, but ultimately what it comes down to is that Linhardt wants to prove Caspar wrong. All Hubert has to do is pose as Linhardt's boyfriend for awhile, at least until they've accomplished whatever arbitrary goal Caspar has set out for Linhardt. That isn't all that bad and it is a convenient excuse for keeping an eye on Linhardt.

Putting it like that, there isn't really much of a downside. Pretend to date Linhardt. How bad could that really be?]


Do you know how long this would take? While I can't say I'm opposed to proving Caspar wrong, [because of course hubert likes being an asshole] I would still be prioritizing Lady Edelgard.

[Linhardt probably doesn't need that warning - he likely figured as much before approaching Hubert in the first place - but it's best to make sure that's out in the open.]
darkseal: (♝ 01)

[personal profile] darkseal 2020-11-04 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Two months... Well, it isn't a lot for Linhardt to ask for, all things considered. It certainly could be worse. It will be a bit of a time crunch and he'll have to be careful with his research since he'll be keeping Linhardt closer, but that certainly seems doable. It'll ensure that he can keep an eye on Linhardt and draw attention away from Lady Edelgard and her relationship with Lorenz, so the only real downside here is... well, pretending to date Linhardt.

But that's a small price to pay to assist Lady Edelgard, so after a moment of deliberation, Hubert finally nods.]


Very well. Caspar would be insufferable if you were to lose this bet, and I would prefer not to deal with that. Knocking his ego down a peg or two would only serve to benefit us all.

[That's totally the reason behind it, don't worry about it.]
darkseal: (♝ 50)

[personal profile] darkseal 2020-11-04 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
[He raises an eyebrow at that, and it only arches further at Linhardt's question.]

You can just call it a date, you know.

[...Jokes aside, though...]

I will have some free time later tonight, as well as tomorrow evening; whenever you aren't sneaking off to nap, of course.

[Nighttime in general is usually easier for him, if only because there isn't really a ton to do all that late here at the monastery. He can really only sneak into Abyss so many times before people start getting curious, after all.]
darkseal: (♝ 53)

[personal profile] darkseal 2020-11-04 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
[honestly, fair...

Linhardt's certainly been keeping close track of Lady Edelgard and Lorenz if he knows the garden will be open tomorrow night, which is a bit irritating. Well, all the more reason to make sure Linhardt doesn't have anything else he's been noticing about Lady Edelgard recently, right?]


Of course. I will see you then.

[And obviously in class before that, but Hubert isn't really thinking too much about any of that.

As it turns out, he wasn't putting nearly enough thought into any of this. He hasn't spoken with Lady Edelgard about this arrangement - though he plans to after their meeting tonight, just in case rumors start from this meeting alone. In truth, there's something a bit... nerve-wracking about going on a date with someone - even though that date is entirely faked and this is only to discuss exactly how they should proceed. Perhaps he should have turned Linhardt down, or found some other way to handle this situation. It isn't like him to get nervous like this, and Hubert honestly isn't sure why it's bothering him this much. Perhaps it's because he's used to acting in a certain way - and that way is one to drive people away.

But here he is anyway at the appointed time - he's even prepared tea. There are a few simple sweets that he managed to swipe from the kitchen earlier, though none of it is particularly fancy or even slightly romantic. It's done because that's what Lady Edelgard and Lorenz do, and it would look a bit strange if they were meeting in the gardens without anything, right? Right. So here we are. Hopefully Linhardt remembered and didn't end up napping...]

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-04 18:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-04 20:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-04 22:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-04 22:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-05 01:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-05 21:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-07 21:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-09 19:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-16 04:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-16 22:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2020-11-17 01:50 (UTC) - Expand
darkseal: (♝ 49)

[personal profile] darkseal 2021-01-18 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
[It's been a month since the start of Linhardt's ridiculous experiment.

Two months, at most--perhaps less than that, should my research prove easier with a partner. That's what Linhardt said at the start of this, and yet it's been a solid month without any indication that it will be over sooner rather than later.

Not that Hubert's actually asked Linhardt about it. No, that involves addressing it, and to be perfectly honest... he doesn't want to.

It would be a lie to say that this "experiment" has been draining or detrimental. Yes, it's given him something to focus on that isn't his schoolwork or Lady Edelgard, but for some reason, that hasn't been a problem. He often found himself bored with all his spare downtime before, and he frequently had little to do but spy on his classmates and try to get into places he shouldn't around the monastery and now...

Well, surprisingly, things haven't suffered even though he hasn't been able to be as nosy as usual. His "dates" with Linhardt are certainly more for show than anything else, but over time they've become... something else. Yes, the moment anyone is nearby they pick up the act like it's second nature at this point, but even when they're alone things have changed. Truthfully, Hubert can't exactly pinpoint what changed or how, but things feel different now.

Different in a way that he's not sure he likes. The feeling of breathlessness that comes with certain words and gestures that he doesn't anticipate; the inability to put his thoughts into words frequently; the way he finds his thoughts straying to Linhardt more and more whenever they're apart. They're all small things that don't trouble him much of the time simply because he isn't thinking about them, but now...

Well, it's a bit hard to ignore all of these formerly small problems now.

With the end of the year comes the annual dance. It's the sort of thing Hubert hardly paid any attention to initially, until he was reminded by Lady Edelgard that he's currently "dating" Linhardt. This is the sort of thing he has to pretend to care about - solely for appearances, of course. While neither of them may care about something this grandiose and dull, they at least have to pretend to care.

Of course, there's also the rumors about the Goddess Tower to contend with as well... But sneaking out and heading there while making sure at least a few people see them should be easy enough. For some reason, that's the part that he finds more annoying than anything else, and he's not entirely sure why thinking about that makes it hard for him to remember to breathe.

There isn't much sense in thinking too much about that right now, though. After all, they still have to get through the dance first.

Lady Edelgard has been far more interested in the entire process of preparing for this dance than Hubert was expecting. She even insisted on helping him pick out something to wear in advance, and has spent the last half an hour fussing over both his appearance and her own. She certainly does look radiant - she always looks radiant in red, but tonight she's especially charming - but given how much fussing she's doing, Hubert can only assume that she wants to ensure her date goes well. It's almost laughable to compare his to hers when she's clearly dedicated to trying so hard, but... Well, he's put in more effort than he usually would as well, even if he does greatly prefer to be wearing black as opposed to dark red.

It's almost dark enough to be black, Lady Edelgard had said with a smile, and that much is true, at least. Still, the unfamiliar cut of the suit is strange and he feels oddly defenseless with only one knife hidden on him tonight. It isn't nerves or anything of the sort - how could it be? It isn't as though their relationship is at all real, after all.

They arrive at the party a little late, though not so late as to draw too much attention when they enter. Lady Edelgard slips away to go socialize with the rest of the Black Eagles and her fellow house leaders, which leaves Hubert free to look for Linhardt. Assuming Linhardt's arrived on time, of course, which might be a bit of a stretch... Hopefully Caspar at least woke him up in time to drag him to this stupid dance.]
darkseal: (♝ 53)

[personal profile] darkseal 2021-01-18 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah, there's Linhardt. It looks like he even got dressed up properly for this today, which isn't really a surprise given how everyone's been going on and on about how this is the formal event of the year but...

Somehow Hubert hadn't exactly anticipated that seeing Linhardt dressed up so nicely would leave him so tongue-tied. He manages a nod at first, then pauses, replaying Linhardt's words in his head, and tries very hard not to grimace.]


No, you did not. [What a strong start.] I... am glad you're here.

[Sure, stumbling over his words in such an ineloquent way likely would be an accurate portrayal of someone deeply in love with his boyfriend, but there's acting awestruck and whatever this is. This is just embarrassing. He can feel himself flushing.

So he forces his gaze away as he clears his throat, desperately looking for something to distract himself with.]


Shall we take a seat?

[Somewhere away from everyone else?? So maybe he can regain the slightest bit of composure??]
darkseal: (Default)

[personal profile] darkseal 2021-01-18 07:03 am (UTC)(link)
[O-Oh. Yes, of course it makes sense for them to hold hands - it isn't as though it's the first time. They just... usually aren't so openly in public and walking together like this, that's clearly what's causing the blush to darken and his heart to hammer like this, right? Hubert isn't one for the spotlight - so putting on a performance like this in public where anyone can see them is what's causing the sudden spike in his pulse. It must be that. What else could it be?

Still, even as he's debating on that, he wastes no time in taking Linhardt's hand. He's wearing black gloves tonight, but there's still something almost relaxing about taking Linhardt's hand like this. He leads the way easily, and by the time they reach one of the tables in the back away from the majority of the others, Hubert's calmed down significantly.]


You look nice.

[A bit simplistic, but it's best to continue playing their parts where they still have the possibility of being overheard, and no one would expect Hubert to be particularly eloquent about this sort of thing anyway, right? Right. It isn't at all because he can't come up with a better way to word it.]

Though I must admit, I wouldn't have been surprised if you simply showed up in your uniform.

[Ah, there we go, that's a little better. The teasing feels a bit more natural, anyway.]
darkseal: (♝ 44)

[personal profile] darkseal 2021-01-18 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
[Linhardt's words earn a scoff and a roll of his eyes - primarily for the compliments, but also for the indication that dressing up was not exactly Linhardt's doing. Thanks, Caspar??]

You flatter me.

[It's become all too common of a retort over the last month, and it's so easy to fall back into it. Still, Hubert is smiling, even if the expression's a bit too sharp for the occasion. It's the closest he gets, anyway.]

You should know that my place is in the shadows; the only reason I'm not wearing black is because Lady Edelgard insisted on this one.

[So don't worry, Linhardt, you're not alone in sucking at this???]
darkseal: (♝ 50)

[personal profile] darkseal 2021-01-18 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[The first part gets another scoff from him, but thankfully Linhardt moves on.]

It sounds as though some of them have been eagerly awaiting this dance for months now.

[Can't relate, tbh.]

We shouldn't need to remain here for too long; I doubt most of them will notice if we vanish eventually.

[It's primarily because he doubts Linhardt wants to be here any more than he does, but also partially because sneaking off to the Goddess Tower will ensure any doubts about their "relationship" are eliminated. Caspar may be totally sold, but that doesn't mean everyone else is. And that is the point of all of this, right? To make sure everyone believes that they're dating so Linhardt could win his bet and prove Caspar wrong.

...Something about that doesn't exactly sound right, but you know what, Hubert isn't going to question it right now.]
darkseal: (♝ 46)

[personal profile] darkseal 2021-01-19 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Hubert nods at that; good, Linhardt's heard the rumors as well. The Goddess Tower will be an excellent place to "sneak" off to. It won't be particularly difficult to make sure someone catches sight of them, after all.

There's no sense in rushing it, though. Looking too eager would only make people suspicious. So they should spend some more time here...

And then Linhardt asks that question and Hubert looks back at him, raising an eyebrow. His initial thought is No, of course not because he isn't one for gatherings like this in the first place, and he'd really rather be anywhere but here. But...

Well, what better to sell their act than one dance? Sure, Hubert hates dancing, but he can do it. Linhardt may be lazy, but as long as they play it off well, it'll be exactly the finishing touch they need to seal their "relationship" in the eyes of their classmates and teachers. Considering that members of the Church are here as well, that will only benefit Lady Edelgard. No one would suspect Hubert is still poking into things he shouldn't if they all think he's busy doting on his "boyfriend".

With that as the obvious conclusion, it should be an easy enough idea to propose. Linhardt may balk a bit, but it will be worth it. It's just one dance.

It's just one dance. So why exactly does the thought of it make him feel so antsy?]


Perhaps we should dance once before we leave. What do you think?

[The question is easy enough to pose, but he's gone back to staring out at the crowd as he drums the fingers of one hand on the table.]

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-19 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-19 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-19 19:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-20 04:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-21 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-21 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-21 04:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-21 05:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-21 05:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-01-21 17:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 01:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 02:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 04:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-05 20:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 00:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 01:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 04:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 05:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 05:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 06:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 06:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-07 20:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-08 05:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-09 18:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-09 23:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-10 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-10 05:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkseal - 2021-04-12 19:19 (UTC) - Expand