I wouldn't have thought they'd all be this gullible.
[Okay, that's a blatant lie, he wouldn't have agreed to this in the first place if he'd thought that no one would buy it, but it's fine, Linhardt can just think he really wanted to prove Caspar wrong.]
Though I must admit, I didn't think we'd last this long either.
[Whether it was because of their acting skills being so poor, Linhardt developing some other interest to research obsessively, or Hubert needing to turn his attention elsewhere to more pressing matters; regardless, here they are still. It's almost funny that they've made it this long.]
[Okay, that gets Linhardt to chuckle outright. He looks genuinely pleased by that--definitely assuming he wanted to prove Caspar wrong alongside him, but the second observation is what's causing the bulk of it. A month, a gods forsaken month--]
Nor did I, if you want the honest truth. It really is quite funny, when half of the relationships you see around the monastery last for a week at best. And the others are a product of Sylvain's womanizing.
[in this house we drag our schoolmates]
And yet, here we are, having lasted longer than most all of them. Next thing you know, they'll be asking us when we plan to celebrate our "month-iversary" or some nonsense like that.
[That's so stupid. Anniversaries are supposed to be for years, not short term relationships!!]
[That gets a short, evil-sounding laugh from him.]
Normally I would try to argue that, but that sounds exactly like the sort of thing Dorothea would want to plan.
[Mostly because she'd find it funny and want to fluster them, but considering how quickly most relationships tend to break up... Well, a month is perhaps something worth celebrating. It probably wouldn't be if Sylvain wasn't here dragging our statistics of relationship length down, but alas.]
[...Oh gods damn it all, Hubert's right. Linhardt really can't help but make a face and groan at that.]
Isn't that supposed to be planned by the couple themselves? Really, she'd have more luck planning for Edelgard and Lorenz's eventual anniversary...
[Linhardt's honestly just whining. Entirely because it's going to require effort on his part to show up and be schmoopy if she does, but Hubert's only laid out the possibility. It's not like it'll actually happen, right???]
...But you are correct, she would. Gods, she'd make it so incredibly loud and noisy too--deeply unsuitable for the likes of us.
[Surely she will and won't just take that as more incentive.........
But yes, let's be off. Linhardt's definitely more at ease as they walk towards the tower, and he can't help but be slightly excited. There's definitely going to be plenty to see here--plenty of opportunities to see if this tower really does have any effect on people's relationships, and pretending to do something like this in kind will surely sell their act.
...Even so, he feels his heart starting to beat again. He's not sure why he's nervous, but maybe it's just that Linhardt doesn't want to screw this up.
It doesn't take long for them to reach it, and Linhardt smiles as they start to make their way inside. Linhardt can practically hear people talking in the background, making their little wishes and the like, and he finds himself smiling.]
We should find a good spot to make our own wish, shouldn't we, Hubert?
[Linhardt settles back into their act easily, turning and giving Hubert a smile. It's strange, but...Linhardt does seem genuinely happy at the idea.]
[This is the last thing they have to do to really sell their act; perhaps that's why Hubert's heartrate has picked up again. It can't be anxiety - that doesn't even make sense. What would he have to be nervous about here? It's not like he's ever had any problems pretending to believe in the Goddess before, after all.
There certainly are others here, and Hubert can catch a few words here and there, but not exactly enough to determine what everyone else is wishing for. Oh well. As much as he wants to be nosy, he's here for a reason.]
Yes, of course. We don't need to go too high up, [this is partially because he doesn't want to be that high up tbh] but we should be somewhere somewhat more private.
[Public enough to be seen, not public enough to make it look like they're putting on a show, in other words.]
[There's damning hesitation there, and Linhardt feels his heart skip a beat as they walk further and further in. In a way, he's a little more than overwhelmed by the prospect, the closer they are to their destination. (which he's definitely letting Hubert choose)
Linhardt isn't sure what it is that's making his heart beat like a drum, unending and almost making him feel lightheaded with anticipation, but once they do manage to reach the spot, Linhardt pauses. Staring anywhere but at Hubert, surprisingly shy and...]
Well, here we are. I imagine you already have your wish picked, don't you?
[It's almost easily said, despite the feeling of unease overcoming him. Maybe it's something he needs to sort out, or maybe it's something he truly wishes to do, but he's...making an attempt, at least, despite seeming surprisingly off.]
[He notices the hesitation, but he's not entirely sure what caused it. Perhaps Linhardt is having second thoughts, or maybe he's not confident in how well they can sell this. That's fair, neither of them are expert actors, after all; and if they fail to make this convincing enough, their entire act falls apart around them. It would be more embarrassing to explain why they've been pretending to be dating than to actually successfully pull this off, right?
So up they go. They only need to ascend once in order to find an alcove tucked away further back. It has a nice view and it's not the easiest place to navigate to unless you know the Goddess Tower fairly well - which is exactly what anyone would expect of them. They likely can't be directly overheard from here either, though someone may be able to catch their voices. All of this is more or less exactly how it should be.
And yet somehow, it feels like something has his lungs in an icy grip and it won't let go.]
Of course I do.
[Not at all, really. He could wish for something entirely unrelated, but it feels like an insult to do that. Wishes don't grant power, and the Goddess certainly doesn't respond to them. So it should be something that fits with their act... Do they usually say their wishes aloud? Should he have prepared something to say? Damn, he hadn't thought this through as much as he should have, evidently.]
[For what it's worth, it's not entirely a lie. Linhardt has to swallow down a lump in his throat, but he has an idea of what he can wish for. He's not sure if this will work, or if this is something Hubert will even be amendable for, but...
He's only read about such an action. A simple kiss, that's all it would have to be, and it would surely seal their act, and yet the icy claws of fear grip him.]
I do believe we simply need to close our eyes and pray, in order to seal the deal. [...] But...I would not mind hearing of your wish, once we're done. Shall we?
[Linhardt's hands clasp in front of him, not...quite in reverent prayer but eh, nobody but the goddess is seeing this so it's fine? It's fine. Maybe a few seconds alone with his thoughts to 'make a wish' will make him feel more sure of this. He thinks.
[There is certainly a proper way to pray and bow one's head while doing so, but Hubert's only barely managing it. Usually he at least does a better job of pretending, but not today, and certainly not here. He doesn't exactly have a wish, but there is one sentiment that is very clear regardless:
I hope this goes well.
Their "relationship" mostly, but everything else that will follow. With any luck, their trip here has secured the status of their "relationship" and that... well, then they've done what they set out to do. Where do they go from there?
He finds he doesn't want to think about it right now. Instead he glances back over at Linhardt.]
[Linhardt isn't exactly doing much better on that end; sure, he manages it for at least...well, a good minute or so, but the more he thinks about what he wants--what he's wishing for, the more a strange anxiety takes hold of him. These kinds of feelings are foreign to him; usually he'd be able to power through but this...
Linhardt's wish is a simple one.
I wish for the strength to do this.
He winds up staying in prayer a little longer--wondering if that was how he should have worded that. That feels almost...childish, to word it as such, and Hubert might be able to catch Linhardt's expression shift a few times--at ease, to frustrated, to confused, and back to frustrated, before his eyes open and he forces himself to settle. He turns back to Hubert, and--]
--Oh, ah. [...] I...took a little longer than I expected; you have my apologies for that, Hubert. You're finished, then...?
[He watches Linhardt's expression change and he finds himself wondering what exactly Linhardt is thinking about. Is he... taking this seriously? Trying to come up with the perfect wish for their fake relationship? He supposes that's possible, but rather pointless, and surely Linhardt's aware of that as well. He doesn't have long to think about it before Linhardt's attention returns to him.]
[Linhardt's sure this will be fine. Maybe he's just overthinking this, and yet his nerves feel as if they've been set aflame by a source he hasn't the faintest clue of. This is supposed to be fake; he shouldn't be putting so much thought into it.
[He could just leave it at that. That is what he wished for at its core, and any elaboration isn't strictly necessary.
But he finds himself continuing anyway, as though that simple idea isn't good enough.]
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result. I'm sure you've already learned quite a bit from this experience, after all.
[And that's... also true. It isn't accurate to say that he only thought about what Linhardt would be getting out of this, but the way he frames it now is hardly a lie. He does hope Linhardt's satisfied at the end of this - because truthfully speaking, he's not entirely sure he will be when this is over. He's not sure what he wanted - or expected - from this experience, but... it will feel very strange when it's over.
He doesn't really want to continue thinking about it, so he inclines his head a bit and presses on.]
[Linhardt listens to Hubert, and though his face is the picture of calm, his mind is anything but. The wish itself is simple enough, that this is to go well, and Linhardt can't help but feel silly for a moment. Maybe he is over thinking it and yet...
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result.
Ah.
He's not sure why something icy grips his chest at that, but Hubert, of all people, wishing for him to be happy at the end of all of this is...it's making his mind do something. It makes him...happy, to hear that. It's something that sees just the tiniest tinge of color rise to his face, and realistically he knows Hubert is just saying that for anyone who might be listening, and yet...and yet...
Linhardt's starting to wonder where the line between his actual feelings and the feelings he's simulating in this experiment are, because he doesn't know anymore. But somehow those words, they fill him with joy and fear all at once.]
...That is very kind of you, Hubert. That is my hope as well.
[...]
I... [Linhardt pauses, looking elsewhere.] ...In truth, I wished for something quite a bit sillier. Courage, in fact.
[Linhardt's look goes back to Hubert at that, something...close to resolved, yet more nervous than he's been in his life.]
[Linhardt's gaze darts, which is odd enough on its own, but coupled with the slight flush, Hubert has to wonder if he's gone a bit too far. He really should have kept it simple—]
Courage?
[That's... an odd one. It doesn't seem like something Linhardt would ever need, why would he wish for that? Why now? Hubert nods at the question that follows, still stuck thinking about Linhardt's words. It's easy enough to stay still and it isn't like he has any reason to distrust Linhardt at this point.
It's something he feels like he should be able to put together - he has all the pieces now, doesn't he? But somehow it's just out of reach. There's a heavy sense of tension now that wasn't quite there before and even though he hasn't worked out exactly what's coming, he knows something is. Still, he doesn't move, and he simply waits for whatever Linhardt has planned.]
[Anxiety has a tight hold on Linhardt's chest, at war with the pounding in his head as the seconds tick by. Linhardt's never been one to care about boundaries, nor to care about social standards; they're all boring trappings that he has no time for, and truthfully, he's never had a need for them. But as his heart and head pound in differing rhythms, enough to make him nervous and wonder if he's doing this right, if he should do this at all, or if he should take it all back.
Linhardt takes one step forward. Another, another, and it doesn't take long until he's only a breath away from Hubert. He just wants the incessant pounding to stop, and he knows what's causing it. If he can do this, it'll all stop, he's sure of it, he's sure, and...
Linhardt closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and attempts to kiss Hubert. It's all he has to do, it's all he needs to do. It's just one moment, one curiosity, and then it'll be done. He even darts back shortly after, and he's...
...
It's made the pounding worse, and if anything, it feels like he's made an even bigger mistake than he intended. Linhardt's eyes open, and his look goes elsewhere, and--]
I...
[He's panicking. Really, he's starting to panic, eyes wide and his hands starting to mess with his sleeves at a pace that's entirely too fast, none of this is going as he'd hoped at all.]
[Linhardt approaches and moves into his space, and it's only when Linhardt closes his eyes and leans in that Hubert realizes what's about to happen. Some part of him is aware he should stop this - is this for show? is this what Linhardt wants? isn't this going too far? - but ultimately, he finds himself frozen in place. It's a quick, gentle kiss that has Linhardt moving away immediately, before Hubert can even figure out how he feels about it - or about the fact that it just happened.
Is this what it's all been building to? Is this where they've been headed this whole time? Has all of this actually ended with Linhardt falling for him, of all damn people? Surely not, that can't possibly be what's happened here.
His heart pounds and it drowns out everything else; he's not even sure Linhardt's actually spoken, but he can recognize that his (friend? boyfriend?) isn't taking it well. Maybe Linhardt didn't realize this would go like this. Maybe he thought it was what they needed to do for show or...
At this point, he's fairly sure he's no longer thinking straight. He's been silent this entire time, eyes wide and a deep flush having taken hold sometime after Linhardt backed up, and Hubert knows he needs to say something, but what do you even say to something like this? What do you say when you don't even know how you feel about it?]
[The silence in the air is strangely deafening. Or maybe it's the sound of his head and heart pounding and his thoughts continuing to move faster and faster than he's ever had them move before. It's not as if he's not used to his thoughts racing, but such things were usually for more stimulating endeavors; reading, research and the like. This is...
This is different, and the more Linhardt analyzes it, the more he can't even come close to finding any sort of answer. He's more confused than ever, and he hates it, he wants to puzzle it out, he wants to take back what he did.
And then Hubert speaks up, cutting through the fog in his mind, and Linhardt jumps to the worst conclusion. He's taken this too far, hasn't he? This went further beyond what was necessary, and while Linhardt doesn't look hurt necessarily, his look goes downcast and towards the ground. No wonder this feels wrong. No wonder it feels wrong, and awful, and like he shouldn't have done this, he should have just kept it simple and not acted without thinking.
He's an idiot. He's stupid, so stupid, why did he think this would--]
...I apologize, Hubert. I...I believe I have made a terrible mistake.
[He's not quite sure what it is. Was it going too far? Was it leading Hubert on like this, confusing him? Was it putting his own research and curiosity above common sense? Was it...falling for his friend?
At any rate, Linhardt sounds genuinely sorry for once in his life, and everything about this hurts, and--]
I think this experiment has proven to be a failure, and all I have done is wasted our time. I need to take my leave.
[Linhardt doesn't even wait for Hubert to say anything; he weaves past Hubert and he bolts from the tower. It's the fastest Linhardt's ever moved in his life. Maybe he should feel worse about this, but all he wants to do is leave and stop the ceaseless pounding in his head.
[Linhardt's gaze drops and there's something so sincere in his apology. It's a bit startling, but perhaps even more startling is Linhardt's very sudden departure. Hubert should have a reaction to this - he should stop Linhardt, try to explain better or... or something - but ultimately he doesn't. He lets Linhardt go.
Somehow, he gets the feeling that was the biggest mistake he could have made here.
Time passes. The days turn to weeks in the blink of an eye - or maybe that's just because Hubert's been keeping himself busy. He doesn't like being idle to begin with, but it's even worse now. He has to keep busy to help with Lady Edelgard's plans, of course, but now... Now whenever he has time to himself, he can't help but think about Linhardt.
Are the two of you still... Lady Edelgard had asked, ending that with a hand gesture that didn't exactly indicate anything, and yet indicated everything. He'd told her that no, they weren't, and it wouldn't cause any problems for them. She'd given him an odd look but ultimately had dropped it, which was for the best. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to think about it.
But if he's perfectly honest with himself, he's spent more sleepless nights than he'd care to remember wondering what he could have done differently. Perhaps even wondering if there could possibly be some way to fix this.
He isn't mad at Linhardt. No, it's the opposite - he's angry at himself for being unable to find a better way to handle it, or at least something better to say in response. He didn't hate it, Linhardt didn't ruin anything, and even if the experiment was a failure, that doesn't mean that the whole thing was.
Sometimes he finds himself thinking that he'd like to return that kiss someday, and then he buries his face in a pillow and tries very hard not to scream.
It's nearly been a month since that incident. Studies have resumed as normal and they're being sent out on a mission today. Though the Professor has been taking things hard since Jeralt died, they seem to be more than willing to fight today - and who could blame them? This should be their chance at revenge, after all.
Lady Edelgard isn't pleased to be dealing with Solon and Kronya right now, and neither is Hubert. He's been waiting for a chance to finally kill them, and today's the perfect opportunity for it. The Professor deserves the chance to kill them both, but Hubert isn't letting any of their ilk escape. That's what sees him split off from the others once they've finished off the majority of them - some of the mages are fleeing into the forest. Those Who Slither should all be eliminated - starting with these two. If they return to Thales, who knows what they'll tell him.
So Hubert suddenly veers off the path; he's fairly sure he's lagging behind the others anyway, so it's not like anyone should notice he's vanished for awhile. He was injured earlier in the fight and keeping up has been a bit more of a pain than usual; it's only his left arm that's taken a hit after all, and it isn't bleeding heavily - but it's not like he has to move too quickly to chase down these two. The first one is easily dispatched with a spell, but the second is able to dodge out of the way and hurls one back in his direction. You may want to look out!]
[A month is certainly a long time to hold a grudge against yourself for how you've acted, but Linhardt's got that down to a science by now. In truth, it's something that keeps Linhardt up more than he cares to admit; he's been trying to put his all into studying, to actually doing something for the class, but more often than not his mind goes back to that night in the goddess tower, that brief kiss, and--
Gods, what an idiot he was. He ruined everything. It had all been fine before, and he had to go ruin it with his...well, Linhardt's still kind of confused by what he was feeling at the time, but he's narrowed it down to two factors. He either put his experimentation above ethics and basic human decency, or he really and truly fell in love with Hubert von Vestra, of all people. The latter is the most absurd idea of them all, and yet...the more Linhardt thinks, the more his mind wanders back to that day, to how much he wishes he'd stayed a little longer, to how he could have asked Hubert how he felt about this--
Well, it doesn't matter. What matters right now is the battle they're taking part in; the Professor finally has a chance to get revenge against the people who killed Jeralt, and that's all well and good. Fighting still isn't Linhardt's strong suit; he's much happier in the back and healing, all while everyone else goes on ahead to get people's asses.
Of course, being in the back has certain other benefits too. Namely, that he sees Hubert--with his injuries, going after two mages. Dorothea's keeping up ahead with Edelgard and the others, so that means...
Well, it falls onto him to make sure Hubert doesn't bite off more than he can chew. Linhardt winds up fleeing after Hubert, veering off the path as well. He's pretty sure Hubert went this way, he just has to follow the sounds of battle, and he'll find him. And find him Linhardt does, but--]
Gah--!
[Yeah, two guesses who got hit with that spell and the first two don't count. Thankfully Linhardt's resistance to magical attacks is quite high, but it's damaged his uniform more than anything. That's gonna be a pain to fix, but...]
Let's get this over with--
[Hey Hubert, might wanna look out real quick, because Linhardt's aiming a Cutting Gale right at that other spellcaster! And it's not gonna be pretty! He'll deal with the awkwardness to come later, for now he's got to make sure Hubert doesn't get his dumb ass killed.]
[Hubert's able to dodge the spell easily enough, but the shout from behind him startles him. He turns around as if he needs to confirm who it belongs to - but he doesn't, not really. He'd recognize Linhardt's voice anywhere, even crying out in pain like that. Hubert shakes his head and forces himself to focus - they can't get distracted just yet.
Linhardt's spell slices through the air and hits its mark. The mage cries out but is immediately silenced when Hubert's next spell strikes him down. He takes a moment to catch his breath before going to check - both mages are definitely dead. If Linhardt wasn't here he'd search the two of them to make sure there's nothing identifying or important on them, but looting the bodies seems like a bad idea when someone else can catch him.]
...Are you alright?
[It's a quiet question that's almost cautious; Linhardt can take magical hits better than physical ones, but that still seems like it hurt.]
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no subject
[Okay, that's a blatant lie, he wouldn't have agreed to this in the first place if he'd thought that no one would buy it, but it's fine, Linhardt can just think he really wanted to prove Caspar wrong.]
Though I must admit, I didn't think we'd last this long either.
[Whether it was because of their acting skills being so poor, Linhardt developing some other interest to research obsessively, or Hubert needing to turn his attention elsewhere to more pressing matters; regardless, here they are still. It's almost funny that they've made it this long.]
no subject
Nor did I, if you want the honest truth. It really is quite funny, when half of the relationships you see around the monastery last for a week at best. And the others are a product of Sylvain's womanizing.
[in this house we drag our schoolmates]
And yet, here we are, having lasted longer than most all of them. Next thing you know, they'll be asking us when we plan to celebrate our "month-iversary" or some nonsense like that.
[That's so stupid. Anniversaries are supposed to be for years, not short term relationships!!]
no subject
Normally I would try to argue that, but that sounds exactly like the sort of thing Dorothea would want to plan.
[Mostly because she'd find it funny and want to fluster them, but considering how quickly most relationships tend to break up... Well, a month is perhaps something worth celebrating. It probably wouldn't be if Sylvain wasn't here dragging our statistics of relationship length down, but alas.]
no subject
Isn't that supposed to be planned by the couple themselves? Really, she'd have more luck planning for Edelgard and Lorenz's eventual anniversary...
[Linhardt's honestly just whining. Entirely because it's going to require effort on his part to show up and be schmoopy if she does, but Hubert's only laid out the possibility. It's not like it'll actually happen, right???]
...But you are correct, she would. Gods, she'd make it so incredibly loud and noisy too--deeply unsuitable for the likes of us.
no subject
[Not that it'll stop her, but then they just won't show up and that will surely work out well. No one said they had to put up with it!!]
I'm sure she can put her talents to better use irritating some other couple.
[Not Lady Edelgard though, of course!!]
no subject
You know, I didn't even consider the possibility we could decline such a thing. But that makes dealing with such a thing much easier.
[FUCK THAT, GO BUG EDELGARD AND LORENZ Linhardt himself doesn't care, those two have basically been dating for longer than they have!!
Still, Linhardt starts to see some people filing off in a certain direction--off towards the Goddess Tower. Well...]
...Perhaps we should start getting going, before we get too carried away?
no subject
Anyway, Hubert's caught sight of that too, and he nods at Linhardt's words.]
Yes, of course. This way, a few of them are bound to see us.
[Shall we?]
no subject
But yes, let's be off. Linhardt's definitely more at ease as they walk towards the tower, and he can't help but be slightly excited. There's definitely going to be plenty to see here--plenty of opportunities to see if this tower really does have any effect on people's relationships, and pretending to do something like this in kind will surely sell their act.
...Even so, he feels his heart starting to beat again. He's not sure why he's nervous, but maybe it's just that Linhardt doesn't want to screw this up.
It doesn't take long for them to reach it, and Linhardt smiles as they start to make their way inside. Linhardt can practically hear people talking in the background, making their little wishes and the like, and he finds himself smiling.]
We should find a good spot to make our own wish, shouldn't we, Hubert?
[Linhardt settles back into their act easily, turning and giving Hubert a smile. It's strange, but...Linhardt does seem genuinely happy at the idea.]
no subject
There certainly are others here, and Hubert can catch a few words here and there, but not exactly enough to determine what everyone else is wishing for. Oh well. As much as he wants to be nosy, he's here for a reason.]
Yes, of course. We don't need to go too high up, [this is partially because he doesn't want to be that high up tbh] but we should be somewhere somewhat more private.
[Public enough to be seen, not public enough to make it look like they're putting on a show, in other words.]
no subject
[There's damning hesitation there, and Linhardt feels his heart skip a beat as they walk further and further in. In a way, he's a little more than overwhelmed by the prospect, the closer they are to their destination. (which he's definitely letting Hubert choose)
Linhardt isn't sure what it is that's making his heart beat like a drum, unending and almost making him feel lightheaded with anticipation, but once they do manage to reach the spot, Linhardt pauses. Staring anywhere but at Hubert, surprisingly shy and...]
Well, here we are. I imagine you already have your wish picked, don't you?
[It's almost easily said, despite the feeling of unease overcoming him. Maybe it's something he needs to sort out, or maybe it's something he truly wishes to do, but he's...making an attempt, at least, despite seeming surprisingly off.]
no subject
So up they go. They only need to ascend once in order to find an alcove tucked away further back. It has a nice view and it's not the easiest place to navigate to unless you know the Goddess Tower fairly well - which is exactly what anyone would expect of them. They likely can't be directly overheard from here either, though someone may be able to catch their voices. All of this is more or less exactly how it should be.
And yet somehow, it feels like something has his lungs in an icy grip and it won't let go.]
Of course I do.
[Not at all, really. He could wish for something entirely unrelated, but it feels like an insult to do that. Wishes don't grant power, and the Goddess certainly doesn't respond to them. So it should be something that fits with their act... Do they usually say their wishes aloud? Should he have prepared something to say? Damn, he hadn't thought this through as much as he should have, evidently.]
...Are you prepared as well?
no subject
[For what it's worth, it's not entirely a lie. Linhardt has to swallow down a lump in his throat, but he has an idea of what he can wish for. He's not sure if this will work, or if this is something Hubert will even be amendable for, but...
He's only read about such an action. A simple kiss, that's all it would have to be, and it would surely seal their act, and yet the icy claws of fear grip him.]
I do believe we simply need to close our eyes and pray, in order to seal the deal. [...] But...I would not mind hearing of your wish, once we're done. Shall we?
[Linhardt's hands clasp in front of him, not...quite in reverent prayer but eh, nobody but the goddess is seeing this so it's fine? It's fine. Maybe a few seconds alone with his thoughts to 'make a wish' will make him feel more sure of this. He thinks.
...He hopes.]
no subject
[There is certainly a proper way to pray and bow one's head while doing so, but Hubert's only barely managing it. Usually he at least does a better job of pretending, but not today, and certainly not here. He doesn't exactly have a wish, but there is one sentiment that is very clear regardless:
I hope this goes well.
Their "relationship" mostly, but everything else that will follow. With any luck, their trip here has secured the status of their "relationship" and that... well, then they've done what they set out to do. Where do they go from there?
He finds he doesn't want to think about it right now. Instead he glances back over at Linhardt.]
no subject
Linhardt's wish is a simple one.
I wish for the strength to do this.
He winds up staying in prayer a little longer--wondering if that was how he should have worded that. That feels almost...childish, to word it as such, and Hubert might be able to catch Linhardt's expression shift a few times--at ease, to frustrated, to confused, and back to frustrated, before his eyes open and he forces himself to settle. He turns back to Hubert, and--]
--Oh, ah. [...] I...took a little longer than I expected; you have my apologies for that, Hubert. You're finished, then...?
no subject
I am. Would you like to hear what I wished for?
no subject
[Linhardt's sure this will be fine. Maybe he's just overthinking this, and yet his nerves feel as if they've been set aflame by a source he hasn't the faintest clue of. This is supposed to be fake; he shouldn't be putting so much thought into it.
So why was he...]
What did you wish for?
no subject
[He could just leave it at that. That is what he wished for at its core, and any elaboration isn't strictly necessary.
But he finds himself continuing anyway, as though that simple idea isn't good enough.]
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result. I'm sure you've already learned quite a bit from this experience, after all.
[And that's... also true. It isn't accurate to say that he only thought about what Linhardt would be getting out of this, but the way he frames it now is hardly a lie. He does hope Linhardt's satisfied at the end of this - because truthfully speaking, he's not entirely sure he will be when this is over. He's not sure what he wanted - or expected - from this experience, but... it will feel very strange when it's over.
He doesn't really want to continue thinking about it, so he inclines his head a bit and presses on.]
What did you wish for?
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I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result.
Ah.
He's not sure why something icy grips his chest at that, but Hubert, of all people, wishing for him to be happy at the end of all of this is...it's making his mind do something. It makes him...happy, to hear that. It's something that sees just the tiniest tinge of color rise to his face, and realistically he knows Hubert is just saying that for anyone who might be listening, and yet...and yet...
Linhardt's starting to wonder where the line between his actual feelings and the feelings he's simulating in this experiment are, because he doesn't know anymore. But somehow those words, they fill him with joy and fear all at once.]
...That is very kind of you, Hubert. That is my hope as well.
[...]
I... [Linhardt pauses, looking elsewhere.] ...In truth, I wished for something quite a bit sillier. Courage, in fact.
[Linhardt's look goes back to Hubert at that, something...close to resolved, yet more nervous than he's been in his life.]
Will you hold still for a moment?
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Courage?
[That's... an odd one. It doesn't seem like something Linhardt would ever need, why would he wish for that? Why now? Hubert nods at the question that follows, still stuck thinking about Linhardt's words. It's easy enough to stay still and it isn't like he has any reason to distrust Linhardt at this point.
It's something he feels like he should be able to put together - he has all the pieces now, doesn't he? But somehow it's just out of reach. There's a heavy sense of tension now that wasn't quite there before and even though he hasn't worked out exactly what's coming, he knows something is. Still, he doesn't move, and he simply waits for whatever Linhardt has planned.]
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Linhardt takes one step forward. Another, another, and it doesn't take long until he's only a breath away from Hubert. He just wants the incessant pounding to stop, and he knows what's causing it. If he can do this, it'll all stop, he's sure of it, he's sure, and...
Linhardt closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and attempts to kiss Hubert. It's all he has to do, it's all he needs to do. It's just one moment, one curiosity, and then it'll be done. He even darts back shortly after, and he's...
...
It's made the pounding worse, and if anything, it feels like he's made an even bigger mistake than he intended. Linhardt's eyes open, and his look goes elsewhere, and--]
I...
[He's panicking. Really, he's starting to panic, eyes wide and his hands starting to mess with his sleeves at a pace that's entirely too fast, none of this is going as he'd hoped at all.]
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Is this what it's all been building to? Is this where they've been headed this whole time? Has all of this actually ended with Linhardt falling for him, of all damn people? Surely not, that can't possibly be what's happened here.
His heart pounds and it drowns out everything else; he's not even sure Linhardt's actually spoken, but he can recognize that his (friend? boyfriend?) isn't taking it well. Maybe Linhardt didn't realize this would go like this. Maybe he thought it was what they needed to do for show or...
At this point, he's fairly sure he's no longer thinking straight. He's been silent this entire time, eyes wide and a deep flush having taken hold sometime after Linhardt backed up, and Hubert knows he needs to say something, but what do you even say to something like this? What do you say when you don't even know how you feel about it?]
...I see.
[...probably not that.]
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This is different, and the more Linhardt analyzes it, the more he can't even come close to finding any sort of answer. He's more confused than ever, and he hates it, he wants to puzzle it out, he wants to take back what he did.
And then Hubert speaks up, cutting through the fog in his mind, and Linhardt jumps to the worst conclusion. He's taken this too far, hasn't he? This went further beyond what was necessary, and while Linhardt doesn't look hurt necessarily, his look goes downcast and towards the ground. No wonder this feels wrong. No wonder it feels wrong, and awful, and like he shouldn't have done this, he should have just kept it simple and not acted without thinking.
He's an idiot. He's stupid, so stupid, why did he think this would--]
...I apologize, Hubert. I...I believe I have made a terrible mistake.
[He's not quite sure what it is. Was it going too far? Was it leading Hubert on like this, confusing him? Was it putting his own research and curiosity above common sense? Was it...falling for his friend?
At any rate, Linhardt sounds genuinely sorry for once in his life, and everything about this hurts, and--]
I think this experiment has proven to be a failure, and all I have done is wasted our time. I need to take my leave.
[Linhardt doesn't even wait for Hubert to say anything; he weaves past Hubert and he bolts from the tower. It's the fastest Linhardt's ever moved in his life. Maybe he should feel worse about this, but all he wants to do is leave and stop the ceaseless pounding in his head.
What a damned idiot he was.]
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Somehow, he gets the feeling that was the biggest mistake he could have made here.
Time passes. The days turn to weeks in the blink of an eye - or maybe that's just because Hubert's been keeping himself busy. He doesn't like being idle to begin with, but it's even worse now. He has to keep busy to help with Lady Edelgard's plans, of course, but now... Now whenever he has time to himself, he can't help but think about Linhardt.
Are the two of you still... Lady Edelgard had asked, ending that with a hand gesture that didn't exactly indicate anything, and yet indicated everything. He'd told her that no, they weren't, and it wouldn't cause any problems for them. She'd given him an odd look but ultimately had dropped it, which was for the best. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to think about it.
But if he's perfectly honest with himself, he's spent more sleepless nights than he'd care to remember wondering what he could have done differently. Perhaps even wondering if there could possibly be some way to fix this.
He isn't mad at Linhardt. No, it's the opposite - he's angry at himself for being unable to find a better way to handle it, or at least something better to say in response. He didn't hate it, Linhardt didn't ruin anything, and even if the experiment was a failure, that doesn't mean that the whole thing was.
Sometimes he finds himself thinking that he'd like to return that kiss someday, and then he buries his face in a pillow and tries very hard not to scream.
It's nearly been a month since that incident. Studies have resumed as normal and they're being sent out on a mission today. Though the Professor has been taking things hard since Jeralt died, they seem to be more than willing to fight today - and who could blame them? This should be their chance at revenge, after all.
Lady Edelgard isn't pleased to be dealing with Solon and Kronya right now, and neither is Hubert. He's been waiting for a chance to finally kill them, and today's the perfect opportunity for it. The Professor deserves the chance to kill them both, but Hubert isn't letting any of their ilk escape. That's what sees him split off from the others once they've finished off the majority of them - some of the mages are fleeing into the forest. Those Who Slither should all be eliminated - starting with these two. If they return to Thales, who knows what they'll tell him.
So Hubert suddenly veers off the path; he's fairly sure he's lagging behind the others anyway, so it's not like anyone should notice he's vanished for awhile. He was injured earlier in the fight and keeping up has been a bit more of a pain than usual; it's only his left arm that's taken a hit after all, and it isn't bleeding heavily - but it's not like he has to move too quickly to chase down these two. The first one is easily dispatched with a spell, but the second is able to dodge out of the way and hurls one back in his direction. You may want to look out!]
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Gods, what an idiot he was. He ruined everything. It had all been fine before, and he had to go ruin it with his...well, Linhardt's still kind of confused by what he was feeling at the time, but he's narrowed it down to two factors. He either put his experimentation above ethics and basic human decency, or he really and truly fell in love with Hubert von Vestra, of all people. The latter is the most absurd idea of them all, and yet...the more Linhardt thinks, the more his mind wanders back to that day, to how much he wishes he'd stayed a little longer, to how he could have asked Hubert how he felt about this--
Well, it doesn't matter. What matters right now is the battle they're taking part in; the Professor finally has a chance to get revenge against the people who killed Jeralt, and that's all well and good. Fighting still isn't Linhardt's strong suit; he's much happier in the back and healing, all while everyone else goes on ahead to get people's asses.
Of course, being in the back has certain other benefits too. Namely, that he sees Hubert--with his injuries, going after two mages. Dorothea's keeping up ahead with Edelgard and the others, so that means...
Well, it falls onto him to make sure Hubert doesn't bite off more than he can chew. Linhardt winds up fleeing after Hubert, veering off the path as well. He's pretty sure Hubert went this way, he just has to follow the sounds of battle, and he'll find him. And find him Linhardt does, but--]
Gah--!
[Yeah, two guesses who got hit with that spell and the first two don't count. Thankfully Linhardt's resistance to magical attacks is quite high, but it's damaged his uniform more than anything. That's gonna be a pain to fix, but...]
Let's get this over with--
[Hey Hubert, might wanna look out real quick, because Linhardt's aiming a Cutting Gale right at that other spellcaster! And it's not gonna be pretty! He'll deal with the awkwardness to come later, for now he's got to make sure Hubert doesn't get his dumb ass killed.]
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Linhardt's spell slices through the air and hits its mark. The mage cries out but is immediately silenced when Hubert's next spell strikes him down. He takes a moment to catch his breath before going to check - both mages are definitely dead. If Linhardt wasn't here he'd search the two of them to make sure there's nothing identifying or important on them, but looting the bodies seems like a bad idea when someone else can catch him.]
...Are you alright?
[It's a quiet question that's almost cautious; Linhardt can take magical hits better than physical ones, but that still seems like it hurt.]
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