[He notices the hesitation, but he's not entirely sure what caused it. Perhaps Linhardt is having second thoughts, or maybe he's not confident in how well they can sell this. That's fair, neither of them are expert actors, after all; and if they fail to make this convincing enough, their entire act falls apart around them. It would be more embarrassing to explain why they've been pretending to be dating than to actually successfully pull this off, right?
So up they go. They only need to ascend once in order to find an alcove tucked away further back. It has a nice view and it's not the easiest place to navigate to unless you know the Goddess Tower fairly well - which is exactly what anyone would expect of them. They likely can't be directly overheard from here either, though someone may be able to catch their voices. All of this is more or less exactly how it should be.
And yet somehow, it feels like something has his lungs in an icy grip and it won't let go.]
Of course I do.
[Not at all, really. He could wish for something entirely unrelated, but it feels like an insult to do that. Wishes don't grant power, and the Goddess certainly doesn't respond to them. So it should be something that fits with their act... Do they usually say their wishes aloud? Should he have prepared something to say? Damn, he hadn't thought this through as much as he should have, evidently.]
[For what it's worth, it's not entirely a lie. Linhardt has to swallow down a lump in his throat, but he has an idea of what he can wish for. He's not sure if this will work, or if this is something Hubert will even be amendable for, but...
He's only read about such an action. A simple kiss, that's all it would have to be, and it would surely seal their act, and yet the icy claws of fear grip him.]
I do believe we simply need to close our eyes and pray, in order to seal the deal. [...] But...I would not mind hearing of your wish, once we're done. Shall we?
[Linhardt's hands clasp in front of him, not...quite in reverent prayer but eh, nobody but the goddess is seeing this so it's fine? It's fine. Maybe a few seconds alone with his thoughts to 'make a wish' will make him feel more sure of this. He thinks.
[There is certainly a proper way to pray and bow one's head while doing so, but Hubert's only barely managing it. Usually he at least does a better job of pretending, but not today, and certainly not here. He doesn't exactly have a wish, but there is one sentiment that is very clear regardless:
I hope this goes well.
Their "relationship" mostly, but everything else that will follow. With any luck, their trip here has secured the status of their "relationship" and that... well, then they've done what they set out to do. Where do they go from there?
He finds he doesn't want to think about it right now. Instead he glances back over at Linhardt.]
[Linhardt isn't exactly doing much better on that end; sure, he manages it for at least...well, a good minute or so, but the more he thinks about what he wants--what he's wishing for, the more a strange anxiety takes hold of him. These kinds of feelings are foreign to him; usually he'd be able to power through but this...
Linhardt's wish is a simple one.
I wish for the strength to do this.
He winds up staying in prayer a little longer--wondering if that was how he should have worded that. That feels almost...childish, to word it as such, and Hubert might be able to catch Linhardt's expression shift a few times--at ease, to frustrated, to confused, and back to frustrated, before his eyes open and he forces himself to settle. He turns back to Hubert, and--]
--Oh, ah. [...] I...took a little longer than I expected; you have my apologies for that, Hubert. You're finished, then...?
[He watches Linhardt's expression change and he finds himself wondering what exactly Linhardt is thinking about. Is he... taking this seriously? Trying to come up with the perfect wish for their fake relationship? He supposes that's possible, but rather pointless, and surely Linhardt's aware of that as well. He doesn't have long to think about it before Linhardt's attention returns to him.]
[Linhardt's sure this will be fine. Maybe he's just overthinking this, and yet his nerves feel as if they've been set aflame by a source he hasn't the faintest clue of. This is supposed to be fake; he shouldn't be putting so much thought into it.
[He could just leave it at that. That is what he wished for at its core, and any elaboration isn't strictly necessary.
But he finds himself continuing anyway, as though that simple idea isn't good enough.]
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result. I'm sure you've already learned quite a bit from this experience, after all.
[And that's... also true. It isn't accurate to say that he only thought about what Linhardt would be getting out of this, but the way he frames it now is hardly a lie. He does hope Linhardt's satisfied at the end of this - because truthfully speaking, he's not entirely sure he will be when this is over. He's not sure what he wanted - or expected - from this experience, but... it will feel very strange when it's over.
He doesn't really want to continue thinking about it, so he inclines his head a bit and presses on.]
[Linhardt listens to Hubert, and though his face is the picture of calm, his mind is anything but. The wish itself is simple enough, that this is to go well, and Linhardt can't help but feel silly for a moment. Maybe he is over thinking it and yet...
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result.
Ah.
He's not sure why something icy grips his chest at that, but Hubert, of all people, wishing for him to be happy at the end of all of this is...it's making his mind do something. It makes him...happy, to hear that. It's something that sees just the tiniest tinge of color rise to his face, and realistically he knows Hubert is just saying that for anyone who might be listening, and yet...and yet...
Linhardt's starting to wonder where the line between his actual feelings and the feelings he's simulating in this experiment are, because he doesn't know anymore. But somehow those words, they fill him with joy and fear all at once.]
...That is very kind of you, Hubert. That is my hope as well.
[...]
I... [Linhardt pauses, looking elsewhere.] ...In truth, I wished for something quite a bit sillier. Courage, in fact.
[Linhardt's look goes back to Hubert at that, something...close to resolved, yet more nervous than he's been in his life.]
[Linhardt's gaze darts, which is odd enough on its own, but coupled with the slight flush, Hubert has to wonder if he's gone a bit too far. He really should have kept it simple—]
Courage?
[That's... an odd one. It doesn't seem like something Linhardt would ever need, why would he wish for that? Why now? Hubert nods at the question that follows, still stuck thinking about Linhardt's words. It's easy enough to stay still and it isn't like he has any reason to distrust Linhardt at this point.
It's something he feels like he should be able to put together - he has all the pieces now, doesn't he? But somehow it's just out of reach. There's a heavy sense of tension now that wasn't quite there before and even though he hasn't worked out exactly what's coming, he knows something is. Still, he doesn't move, and he simply waits for whatever Linhardt has planned.]
[Anxiety has a tight hold on Linhardt's chest, at war with the pounding in his head as the seconds tick by. Linhardt's never been one to care about boundaries, nor to care about social standards; they're all boring trappings that he has no time for, and truthfully, he's never had a need for them. But as his heart and head pound in differing rhythms, enough to make him nervous and wonder if he's doing this right, if he should do this at all, or if he should take it all back.
Linhardt takes one step forward. Another, another, and it doesn't take long until he's only a breath away from Hubert. He just wants the incessant pounding to stop, and he knows what's causing it. If he can do this, it'll all stop, he's sure of it, he's sure, and...
Linhardt closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and attempts to kiss Hubert. It's all he has to do, it's all he needs to do. It's just one moment, one curiosity, and then it'll be done. He even darts back shortly after, and he's...
...
It's made the pounding worse, and if anything, it feels like he's made an even bigger mistake than he intended. Linhardt's eyes open, and his look goes elsewhere, and--]
I...
[He's panicking. Really, he's starting to panic, eyes wide and his hands starting to mess with his sleeves at a pace that's entirely too fast, none of this is going as he'd hoped at all.]
[Linhardt approaches and moves into his space, and it's only when Linhardt closes his eyes and leans in that Hubert realizes what's about to happen. Some part of him is aware he should stop this - is this for show? is this what Linhardt wants? isn't this going too far? - but ultimately, he finds himself frozen in place. It's a quick, gentle kiss that has Linhardt moving away immediately, before Hubert can even figure out how he feels about it - or about the fact that it just happened.
Is this what it's all been building to? Is this where they've been headed this whole time? Has all of this actually ended with Linhardt falling for him, of all damn people? Surely not, that can't possibly be what's happened here.
His heart pounds and it drowns out everything else; he's not even sure Linhardt's actually spoken, but he can recognize that his (friend? boyfriend?) isn't taking it well. Maybe Linhardt didn't realize this would go like this. Maybe he thought it was what they needed to do for show or...
At this point, he's fairly sure he's no longer thinking straight. He's been silent this entire time, eyes wide and a deep flush having taken hold sometime after Linhardt backed up, and Hubert knows he needs to say something, but what do you even say to something like this? What do you say when you don't even know how you feel about it?]
[The silence in the air is strangely deafening. Or maybe it's the sound of his head and heart pounding and his thoughts continuing to move faster and faster than he's ever had them move before. It's not as if he's not used to his thoughts racing, but such things were usually for more stimulating endeavors; reading, research and the like. This is...
This is different, and the more Linhardt analyzes it, the more he can't even come close to finding any sort of answer. He's more confused than ever, and he hates it, he wants to puzzle it out, he wants to take back what he did.
And then Hubert speaks up, cutting through the fog in his mind, and Linhardt jumps to the worst conclusion. He's taken this too far, hasn't he? This went further beyond what was necessary, and while Linhardt doesn't look hurt necessarily, his look goes downcast and towards the ground. No wonder this feels wrong. No wonder it feels wrong, and awful, and like he shouldn't have done this, he should have just kept it simple and not acted without thinking.
He's an idiot. He's stupid, so stupid, why did he think this would--]
...I apologize, Hubert. I...I believe I have made a terrible mistake.
[He's not quite sure what it is. Was it going too far? Was it leading Hubert on like this, confusing him? Was it putting his own research and curiosity above common sense? Was it...falling for his friend?
At any rate, Linhardt sounds genuinely sorry for once in his life, and everything about this hurts, and--]
I think this experiment has proven to be a failure, and all I have done is wasted our time. I need to take my leave.
[Linhardt doesn't even wait for Hubert to say anything; he weaves past Hubert and he bolts from the tower. It's the fastest Linhardt's ever moved in his life. Maybe he should feel worse about this, but all he wants to do is leave and stop the ceaseless pounding in his head.
[Linhardt's gaze drops and there's something so sincere in his apology. It's a bit startling, but perhaps even more startling is Linhardt's very sudden departure. Hubert should have a reaction to this - he should stop Linhardt, try to explain better or... or something - but ultimately he doesn't. He lets Linhardt go.
Somehow, he gets the feeling that was the biggest mistake he could have made here.
Time passes. The days turn to weeks in the blink of an eye - or maybe that's just because Hubert's been keeping himself busy. He doesn't like being idle to begin with, but it's even worse now. He has to keep busy to help with Lady Edelgard's plans, of course, but now... Now whenever he has time to himself, he can't help but think about Linhardt.
Are the two of you still... Lady Edelgard had asked, ending that with a hand gesture that didn't exactly indicate anything, and yet indicated everything. He'd told her that no, they weren't, and it wouldn't cause any problems for them. She'd given him an odd look but ultimately had dropped it, which was for the best. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to think about it.
But if he's perfectly honest with himself, he's spent more sleepless nights than he'd care to remember wondering what he could have done differently. Perhaps even wondering if there could possibly be some way to fix this.
He isn't mad at Linhardt. No, it's the opposite - he's angry at himself for being unable to find a better way to handle it, or at least something better to say in response. He didn't hate it, Linhardt didn't ruin anything, and even if the experiment was a failure, that doesn't mean that the whole thing was.
Sometimes he finds himself thinking that he'd like to return that kiss someday, and then he buries his face in a pillow and tries very hard not to scream.
It's nearly been a month since that incident. Studies have resumed as normal and they're being sent out on a mission today. Though the Professor has been taking things hard since Jeralt died, they seem to be more than willing to fight today - and who could blame them? This should be their chance at revenge, after all.
Lady Edelgard isn't pleased to be dealing with Solon and Kronya right now, and neither is Hubert. He's been waiting for a chance to finally kill them, and today's the perfect opportunity for it. The Professor deserves the chance to kill them both, but Hubert isn't letting any of their ilk escape. That's what sees him split off from the others once they've finished off the majority of them - some of the mages are fleeing into the forest. Those Who Slither should all be eliminated - starting with these two. If they return to Thales, who knows what they'll tell him.
So Hubert suddenly veers off the path; he's fairly sure he's lagging behind the others anyway, so it's not like anyone should notice he's vanished for awhile. He was injured earlier in the fight and keeping up has been a bit more of a pain than usual; it's only his left arm that's taken a hit after all, and it isn't bleeding heavily - but it's not like he has to move too quickly to chase down these two. The first one is easily dispatched with a spell, but the second is able to dodge out of the way and hurls one back in his direction. You may want to look out!]
[A month is certainly a long time to hold a grudge against yourself for how you've acted, but Linhardt's got that down to a science by now. In truth, it's something that keeps Linhardt up more than he cares to admit; he's been trying to put his all into studying, to actually doing something for the class, but more often than not his mind goes back to that night in the goddess tower, that brief kiss, and--
Gods, what an idiot he was. He ruined everything. It had all been fine before, and he had to go ruin it with his...well, Linhardt's still kind of confused by what he was feeling at the time, but he's narrowed it down to two factors. He either put his experimentation above ethics and basic human decency, or he really and truly fell in love with Hubert von Vestra, of all people. The latter is the most absurd idea of them all, and yet...the more Linhardt thinks, the more his mind wanders back to that day, to how much he wishes he'd stayed a little longer, to how he could have asked Hubert how he felt about this--
Well, it doesn't matter. What matters right now is the battle they're taking part in; the Professor finally has a chance to get revenge against the people who killed Jeralt, and that's all well and good. Fighting still isn't Linhardt's strong suit; he's much happier in the back and healing, all while everyone else goes on ahead to get people's asses.
Of course, being in the back has certain other benefits too. Namely, that he sees Hubert--with his injuries, going after two mages. Dorothea's keeping up ahead with Edelgard and the others, so that means...
Well, it falls onto him to make sure Hubert doesn't bite off more than he can chew. Linhardt winds up fleeing after Hubert, veering off the path as well. He's pretty sure Hubert went this way, he just has to follow the sounds of battle, and he'll find him. And find him Linhardt does, but--]
Gah--!
[Yeah, two guesses who got hit with that spell and the first two don't count. Thankfully Linhardt's resistance to magical attacks is quite high, but it's damaged his uniform more than anything. That's gonna be a pain to fix, but...]
Let's get this over with--
[Hey Hubert, might wanna look out real quick, because Linhardt's aiming a Cutting Gale right at that other spellcaster! And it's not gonna be pretty! He'll deal with the awkwardness to come later, for now he's got to make sure Hubert doesn't get his dumb ass killed.]
[Hubert's able to dodge the spell easily enough, but the shout from behind him startles him. He turns around as if he needs to confirm who it belongs to - but he doesn't, not really. He'd recognize Linhardt's voice anywhere, even crying out in pain like that. Hubert shakes his head and forces himself to focus - they can't get distracted just yet.
Linhardt's spell slices through the air and hits its mark. The mage cries out but is immediately silenced when Hubert's next spell strikes him down. He takes a moment to catch his breath before going to check - both mages are definitely dead. If Linhardt wasn't here he'd search the two of them to make sure there's nothing identifying or important on them, but looting the bodies seems like a bad idea when someone else can catch him.]
...Are you alright?
[It's a quiet question that's almost cautious; Linhardt can take magical hits better than physical ones, but that still seems like it hurt.]
[Thank goodness. Linhardt isn't sure what on earth could have happened if that mage didn't go down, but thankfully, he's no worse for wear. Except for his uniform jacket, but that's at least something that can be replaced.]
I'm fine, Hubert. Nothing that a vulnerary can't fix.
[...Never mind the fact that he doesn't have one on him, but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. But now that the battle is over, Linhardt really can't deny the fact that this is...kind of awkward, if he's gonna be honest. Being confronted with the friend who he's ruined things with is definitely not how Linhardt wanted to spend this day, but...
Well, Linhardt walks closer to Hubert, gaze going towards Hubert's own injuries.]
Give me your arm, Hubert. It looks awful. [Linhardt starts to prepare a healing spell, and his look goes almost frustrated.] ...What were you thinking, going after them alone with your injury?
[He raises an eyebrow at that, but chooses to let it be. If Linhardt doesn't think it's all that bad, then it should hopefully be fine. It's not like he has a vulnerary on him, and it doesn't seem like Linhardt does... but they'll undoubtedly return to the rest of the Black Eagles soon enough.
But of course Linhardt isn't going to let him go without some scolding, and Hubert scoffs at that.]
It isn't as though I need this arm for casting. Besides, the Professor would be disappointed if we let any of them escape. Who knows what else they may have planned?
[Better to handle them all here and now; it's the practical - and brutal - answer that fits the image Hubert has built for himself, so that should suffice. He holds out his arm for Linhardt to examine to give him something to focus on just in case; no sense in drawing any more attention to that line of questioning.
The injury he's sustained isn't terrible, but it's definitely not comfortable either. His sleeve has been slit up his forearm, with a line of blood drawn up to his elbow. It will heal easily and cleanly with no real issues, but it isn't the sort of injury one should leave open for very long.]
You could have at least brought someone with you to do so. Or informed anyone where you intended to go. What if something happened to you?
[Linhardt gets a look at the wound and...oh, joy of joys, blood. Alright, alright, don't go getting lightheaded now, he thinks to himself as he begins to cast the healing magic, raising his hand over Hubert's injury and shaking his head.]
...If you left this untreated for much longer, it could have gotten infected. [The healing magic should at least close the injury up and make sure it doesn't bleed anymore, but...] As right as you are about them getting away being a terrible thing, that doesn't mean you should be reckless, Hubert.
Do you have the means to wrap this injury up?
[It might not be wholly necessary once Linhardt gets done, but it is better safe than sorry. And well, if not...Linhardt does have an idea.]
[It's a struggle not to roll his eyes at the scolding, but Hubert manages to succeed. He does end up scoffing at the idea of being reckless... But technically speaking, Linhardt isn't wrong. It was reckless to run off on his own; he only did it because he was certain everything would work out, but that doesn't stop it from being a dangerous decision.]
I can use my jacket, if necessary.
[He isn't in the habit of carrying bandages on him and he really doesn't have anything else he could use, so that will have to do.]
[Oh. That's actually what Linhardt was thinking, but...]
You took the words right out of my mouth; I could offer mine, if necessary.
[But that's...awkward, the more Linhardt thinks about it, so he shakes his head. The spell should be done with soon, anyway, and yet the proximity is finally hitting Linhardt a bit and he looks elsewhere. He doesn't want to think about this now, but here it is, hitting him in the face.]
...Never mind. We should get going. It's likely only a matter of time before everyone is finished with the battle over there, yes?
[Hubert moves to start unfastening his own jacket before pausing. Maybe it'll be better to do that once Linhardt's done with his arm... It's only now hitting him just how awkward this truly is. It was easier to overlook it before but now that the adrenaline's wearing off...]
[...Linhardt's real glad he kept his gaze averted, he's sure Hubert looks fine underneath the jacket but he's already been confused enough lately!!]
It's no trouble. Let us be on our way.
[Aaaanyway, Linhardt is at least going to try to lead the way? Which is at least slightly a problem because uh. Linhardt does not remember where the hell the way back is. He seems confident at the start of it all, simply going backwards, but Hubert's pursuit seems to have lead them deep into the forest, and uh...]
...Hubert, do you happen to remember the direction you came from?
[It's not like he managed to get turned around so easily. Linhardt came from this direction, so obviously back this way is where the others should be. Hubert moves to take the lead once Linhardt's done with his arm, removing the uniform jacket as he goes and rolling up what's left of his sleeve to properly fix the jacket in place to function as a makeshift bandage. Linhardt's healing should be good enough to prevent any serious problems, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
...It becomes clear all too soon that maybe he was a little overconfident in his ability to return to the group. These trees don't look familiar at all... but it's not like he was paying attention to the trees to begin with, so surely this is the right way...?? But it's been awhile, shouldn't they at least hear sounds of fighting by now...?
[Gods. The sooner they can get back the better, the more they walk along the more Linhardt's thoughts drift a little bit to that night. Not that they hadn't been already for the past month, but even so, there's a lot that's still on his mind about it. And this situation right now is not helping matters any, not at all, and--
...We've been walking for quite a while, haven't we. The sun is starting to go down from the looks of it, and this seems like the worst case scenario.]
...Hubert, we're lost, aren't we?
[this day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it]
Perhaps we should try to find somewhere as temporary shelter? At least for tonight. Our classmates and the Professor must be looking for us, after all.
[This really isn't going like it was supposed to, and Hubert can't really blame Linhardt for that. He likely would have been just as lost if Linhardt hadn't chased after him. That doesn't make it any less frustrating, but now it's awkward. He can't stop thinking about that night in the Goddess Tower which really isn't helping with finding their way back and...
And Linhardt at least doesn't linger on it and offers a valid solution. Hubert nods, trying to ignore the embarrassment that comes with acknowledging that yes, he absolutely messed this up.]
I'm sure they'll find us soon enough.
[Thankfully, we aren't going to have to wander aimlessly for too long. There's a cottage out here - or at least, what once used to be one. What it's doing all the way out here is a mystery, but it looks like it was probably a cozy little place at one point. There's a fenced off, overgrown garden and while the place is long since abandoned and run-down, it's certainly sturdy enough to provide shelter for the night.
Even better, it's abandoned and safe. It looks like someone may have been using it somewhat recently since the interior has been cleaned up and repurposed as a proper shelter, but they're likely long since gone given that there isn't any personal belongings left behind.]
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no subject
So up they go. They only need to ascend once in order to find an alcove tucked away further back. It has a nice view and it's not the easiest place to navigate to unless you know the Goddess Tower fairly well - which is exactly what anyone would expect of them. They likely can't be directly overheard from here either, though someone may be able to catch their voices. All of this is more or less exactly how it should be.
And yet somehow, it feels like something has his lungs in an icy grip and it won't let go.]
Of course I do.
[Not at all, really. He could wish for something entirely unrelated, but it feels like an insult to do that. Wishes don't grant power, and the Goddess certainly doesn't respond to them. So it should be something that fits with their act... Do they usually say their wishes aloud? Should he have prepared something to say? Damn, he hadn't thought this through as much as he should have, evidently.]
...Are you prepared as well?
no subject
[For what it's worth, it's not entirely a lie. Linhardt has to swallow down a lump in his throat, but he has an idea of what he can wish for. He's not sure if this will work, or if this is something Hubert will even be amendable for, but...
He's only read about such an action. A simple kiss, that's all it would have to be, and it would surely seal their act, and yet the icy claws of fear grip him.]
I do believe we simply need to close our eyes and pray, in order to seal the deal. [...] But...I would not mind hearing of your wish, once we're done. Shall we?
[Linhardt's hands clasp in front of him, not...quite in reverent prayer but eh, nobody but the goddess is seeing this so it's fine? It's fine. Maybe a few seconds alone with his thoughts to 'make a wish' will make him feel more sure of this. He thinks.
...He hopes.]
no subject
[There is certainly a proper way to pray and bow one's head while doing so, but Hubert's only barely managing it. Usually he at least does a better job of pretending, but not today, and certainly not here. He doesn't exactly have a wish, but there is one sentiment that is very clear regardless:
I hope this goes well.
Their "relationship" mostly, but everything else that will follow. With any luck, their trip here has secured the status of their "relationship" and that... well, then they've done what they set out to do. Where do they go from there?
He finds he doesn't want to think about it right now. Instead he glances back over at Linhardt.]
no subject
Linhardt's wish is a simple one.
I wish for the strength to do this.
He winds up staying in prayer a little longer--wondering if that was how he should have worded that. That feels almost...childish, to word it as such, and Hubert might be able to catch Linhardt's expression shift a few times--at ease, to frustrated, to confused, and back to frustrated, before his eyes open and he forces himself to settle. He turns back to Hubert, and--]
--Oh, ah. [...] I...took a little longer than I expected; you have my apologies for that, Hubert. You're finished, then...?
no subject
I am. Would you like to hear what I wished for?
no subject
[Linhardt's sure this will be fine. Maybe he's just overthinking this, and yet his nerves feel as if they've been set aflame by a source he hasn't the faintest clue of. This is supposed to be fake; he shouldn't be putting so much thought into it.
So why was he...]
What did you wish for?
no subject
[He could just leave it at that. That is what he wished for at its core, and any elaboration isn't strictly necessary.
But he finds himself continuing anyway, as though that simple idea isn't good enough.]
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result. I'm sure you've already learned quite a bit from this experience, after all.
[And that's... also true. It isn't accurate to say that he only thought about what Linhardt would be getting out of this, but the way he frames it now is hardly a lie. He does hope Linhardt's satisfied at the end of this - because truthfully speaking, he's not entirely sure he will be when this is over. He's not sure what he wanted - or expected - from this experience, but... it will feel very strange when it's over.
He doesn't really want to continue thinking about it, so he inclines his head a bit and presses on.]
What did you wish for?
no subject
I hope that we're able to see this through to the end; that you'll get precisely what you want from this and that you'll be happy with the end result.
Ah.
He's not sure why something icy grips his chest at that, but Hubert, of all people, wishing for him to be happy at the end of all of this is...it's making his mind do something. It makes him...happy, to hear that. It's something that sees just the tiniest tinge of color rise to his face, and realistically he knows Hubert is just saying that for anyone who might be listening, and yet...and yet...
Linhardt's starting to wonder where the line between his actual feelings and the feelings he's simulating in this experiment are, because he doesn't know anymore. But somehow those words, they fill him with joy and fear all at once.]
...That is very kind of you, Hubert. That is my hope as well.
[...]
I... [Linhardt pauses, looking elsewhere.] ...In truth, I wished for something quite a bit sillier. Courage, in fact.
[Linhardt's look goes back to Hubert at that, something...close to resolved, yet more nervous than he's been in his life.]
Will you hold still for a moment?
no subject
Courage?
[That's... an odd one. It doesn't seem like something Linhardt would ever need, why would he wish for that? Why now? Hubert nods at the question that follows, still stuck thinking about Linhardt's words. It's easy enough to stay still and it isn't like he has any reason to distrust Linhardt at this point.
It's something he feels like he should be able to put together - he has all the pieces now, doesn't he? But somehow it's just out of reach. There's a heavy sense of tension now that wasn't quite there before and even though he hasn't worked out exactly what's coming, he knows something is. Still, he doesn't move, and he simply waits for whatever Linhardt has planned.]
no subject
Linhardt takes one step forward. Another, another, and it doesn't take long until he's only a breath away from Hubert. He just wants the incessant pounding to stop, and he knows what's causing it. If he can do this, it'll all stop, he's sure of it, he's sure, and...
Linhardt closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and attempts to kiss Hubert. It's all he has to do, it's all he needs to do. It's just one moment, one curiosity, and then it'll be done. He even darts back shortly after, and he's...
...
It's made the pounding worse, and if anything, it feels like he's made an even bigger mistake than he intended. Linhardt's eyes open, and his look goes elsewhere, and--]
I...
[He's panicking. Really, he's starting to panic, eyes wide and his hands starting to mess with his sleeves at a pace that's entirely too fast, none of this is going as he'd hoped at all.]
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Is this what it's all been building to? Is this where they've been headed this whole time? Has all of this actually ended with Linhardt falling for him, of all damn people? Surely not, that can't possibly be what's happened here.
His heart pounds and it drowns out everything else; he's not even sure Linhardt's actually spoken, but he can recognize that his (friend? boyfriend?) isn't taking it well. Maybe Linhardt didn't realize this would go like this. Maybe he thought it was what they needed to do for show or...
At this point, he's fairly sure he's no longer thinking straight. He's been silent this entire time, eyes wide and a deep flush having taken hold sometime after Linhardt backed up, and Hubert knows he needs to say something, but what do you even say to something like this? What do you say when you don't even know how you feel about it?]
...I see.
[...probably not that.]
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This is different, and the more Linhardt analyzes it, the more he can't even come close to finding any sort of answer. He's more confused than ever, and he hates it, he wants to puzzle it out, he wants to take back what he did.
And then Hubert speaks up, cutting through the fog in his mind, and Linhardt jumps to the worst conclusion. He's taken this too far, hasn't he? This went further beyond what was necessary, and while Linhardt doesn't look hurt necessarily, his look goes downcast and towards the ground. No wonder this feels wrong. No wonder it feels wrong, and awful, and like he shouldn't have done this, he should have just kept it simple and not acted without thinking.
He's an idiot. He's stupid, so stupid, why did he think this would--]
...I apologize, Hubert. I...I believe I have made a terrible mistake.
[He's not quite sure what it is. Was it going too far? Was it leading Hubert on like this, confusing him? Was it putting his own research and curiosity above common sense? Was it...falling for his friend?
At any rate, Linhardt sounds genuinely sorry for once in his life, and everything about this hurts, and--]
I think this experiment has proven to be a failure, and all I have done is wasted our time. I need to take my leave.
[Linhardt doesn't even wait for Hubert to say anything; he weaves past Hubert and he bolts from the tower. It's the fastest Linhardt's ever moved in his life. Maybe he should feel worse about this, but all he wants to do is leave and stop the ceaseless pounding in his head.
What a damned idiot he was.]
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Somehow, he gets the feeling that was the biggest mistake he could have made here.
Time passes. The days turn to weeks in the blink of an eye - or maybe that's just because Hubert's been keeping himself busy. He doesn't like being idle to begin with, but it's even worse now. He has to keep busy to help with Lady Edelgard's plans, of course, but now... Now whenever he has time to himself, he can't help but think about Linhardt.
Are the two of you still... Lady Edelgard had asked, ending that with a hand gesture that didn't exactly indicate anything, and yet indicated everything. He'd told her that no, they weren't, and it wouldn't cause any problems for them. She'd given him an odd look but ultimately had dropped it, which was for the best. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't want to think about it.
But if he's perfectly honest with himself, he's spent more sleepless nights than he'd care to remember wondering what he could have done differently. Perhaps even wondering if there could possibly be some way to fix this.
He isn't mad at Linhardt. No, it's the opposite - he's angry at himself for being unable to find a better way to handle it, or at least something better to say in response. He didn't hate it, Linhardt didn't ruin anything, and even if the experiment was a failure, that doesn't mean that the whole thing was.
Sometimes he finds himself thinking that he'd like to return that kiss someday, and then he buries his face in a pillow and tries very hard not to scream.
It's nearly been a month since that incident. Studies have resumed as normal and they're being sent out on a mission today. Though the Professor has been taking things hard since Jeralt died, they seem to be more than willing to fight today - and who could blame them? This should be their chance at revenge, after all.
Lady Edelgard isn't pleased to be dealing with Solon and Kronya right now, and neither is Hubert. He's been waiting for a chance to finally kill them, and today's the perfect opportunity for it. The Professor deserves the chance to kill them both, but Hubert isn't letting any of their ilk escape. That's what sees him split off from the others once they've finished off the majority of them - some of the mages are fleeing into the forest. Those Who Slither should all be eliminated - starting with these two. If they return to Thales, who knows what they'll tell him.
So Hubert suddenly veers off the path; he's fairly sure he's lagging behind the others anyway, so it's not like anyone should notice he's vanished for awhile. He was injured earlier in the fight and keeping up has been a bit more of a pain than usual; it's only his left arm that's taken a hit after all, and it isn't bleeding heavily - but it's not like he has to move too quickly to chase down these two. The first one is easily dispatched with a spell, but the second is able to dodge out of the way and hurls one back in his direction. You may want to look out!]
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Gods, what an idiot he was. He ruined everything. It had all been fine before, and he had to go ruin it with his...well, Linhardt's still kind of confused by what he was feeling at the time, but he's narrowed it down to two factors. He either put his experimentation above ethics and basic human decency, or he really and truly fell in love with Hubert von Vestra, of all people. The latter is the most absurd idea of them all, and yet...the more Linhardt thinks, the more his mind wanders back to that day, to how much he wishes he'd stayed a little longer, to how he could have asked Hubert how he felt about this--
Well, it doesn't matter. What matters right now is the battle they're taking part in; the Professor finally has a chance to get revenge against the people who killed Jeralt, and that's all well and good. Fighting still isn't Linhardt's strong suit; he's much happier in the back and healing, all while everyone else goes on ahead to get people's asses.
Of course, being in the back has certain other benefits too. Namely, that he sees Hubert--with his injuries, going after two mages. Dorothea's keeping up ahead with Edelgard and the others, so that means...
Well, it falls onto him to make sure Hubert doesn't bite off more than he can chew. Linhardt winds up fleeing after Hubert, veering off the path as well. He's pretty sure Hubert went this way, he just has to follow the sounds of battle, and he'll find him. And find him Linhardt does, but--]
Gah--!
[Yeah, two guesses who got hit with that spell and the first two don't count. Thankfully Linhardt's resistance to magical attacks is quite high, but it's damaged his uniform more than anything. That's gonna be a pain to fix, but...]
Let's get this over with--
[Hey Hubert, might wanna look out real quick, because Linhardt's aiming a Cutting Gale right at that other spellcaster! And it's not gonna be pretty! He'll deal with the awkwardness to come later, for now he's got to make sure Hubert doesn't get his dumb ass killed.]
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Linhardt's spell slices through the air and hits its mark. The mage cries out but is immediately silenced when Hubert's next spell strikes him down. He takes a moment to catch his breath before going to check - both mages are definitely dead. If Linhardt wasn't here he'd search the two of them to make sure there's nothing identifying or important on them, but looting the bodies seems like a bad idea when someone else can catch him.]
...Are you alright?
[It's a quiet question that's almost cautious; Linhardt can take magical hits better than physical ones, but that still seems like it hurt.]
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I'm fine, Hubert. Nothing that a vulnerary can't fix.
[...Never mind the fact that he doesn't have one on him, but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it. But now that the battle is over, Linhardt really can't deny the fact that this is...kind of awkward, if he's gonna be honest. Being confronted with the friend who he's ruined things with is definitely not how Linhardt wanted to spend this day, but...
Well, Linhardt walks closer to Hubert, gaze going towards Hubert's own injuries.]
Give me your arm, Hubert. It looks awful. [Linhardt starts to prepare a healing spell, and his look goes almost frustrated.] ...What were you thinking, going after them alone with your injury?
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But of course Linhardt isn't going to let him go without some scolding, and Hubert scoffs at that.]
It isn't as though I need this arm for casting. Besides, the Professor would be disappointed if we let any of them escape. Who knows what else they may have planned?
[Better to handle them all here and now; it's the practical - and brutal - answer that fits the image Hubert has built for himself, so that should suffice. He holds out his arm for Linhardt to examine to give him something to focus on just in case; no sense in drawing any more attention to that line of questioning.
The injury he's sustained isn't terrible, but it's definitely not comfortable either. His sleeve has been slit up his forearm, with a line of blood drawn up to his elbow. It will heal easily and cleanly with no real issues, but it isn't the sort of injury one should leave open for very long.]
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[Linhardt gets a look at the wound and...oh, joy of joys, blood. Alright, alright, don't go getting lightheaded now, he thinks to himself as he begins to cast the healing magic, raising his hand over Hubert's injury and shaking his head.]
...If you left this untreated for much longer, it could have gotten infected. [The healing magic should at least close the injury up and make sure it doesn't bleed anymore, but...] As right as you are about them getting away being a terrible thing, that doesn't mean you should be reckless, Hubert.
Do you have the means to wrap this injury up?
[It might not be wholly necessary once Linhardt gets done, but it is better safe than sorry. And well, if not...Linhardt does have an idea.]
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I can use my jacket, if necessary.
[He isn't in the habit of carrying bandages on him and he really doesn't have anything else he could use, so that will have to do.]
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You took the words right out of my mouth; I could offer mine, if necessary.
[But that's...awkward, the more Linhardt thinks about it, so he shakes his head. The spell should be done with soon, anyway, and yet the proximity is finally hitting Linhardt a bit and he looks elsewhere. He doesn't want to think about this now, but here it is, hitting him in the face.]
...Never mind. We should get going. It's likely only a matter of time before everyone is finished with the battle over there, yes?
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...Yes, of course. I appreciate your assistance.
[It's stilted thanks, but thanks nonetheless.]
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It's no trouble. Let us be on our way.
[Aaaanyway, Linhardt is at least going to try to lead the way? Which is at least slightly a problem because uh. Linhardt does not remember where the hell the way back is. He seems confident at the start of it all, simply going backwards, but Hubert's pursuit seems to have lead them deep into the forest, and uh...]
...Hubert, do you happen to remember the direction you came from?
[please. please tell us we're not lost.]
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[It's not like he managed to get turned around so easily. Linhardt came from this direction, so obviously back this way is where the others should be. Hubert moves to take the lead once Linhardt's done with his arm, removing the uniform jacket as he goes and rolling up what's left of his sleeve to properly fix the jacket in place to function as a makeshift bandage. Linhardt's healing should be good enough to prevent any serious problems, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
...It becomes clear all too soon that maybe he was a little overconfident in his ability to return to the group. These trees don't look familiar at all... but it's not like he was paying attention to the trees to begin with, so surely this is the right way...?? But it's been awhile, shouldn't they at least hear sounds of fighting by now...?
So uh. Looks like we may be lost.]
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...We've been walking for quite a while, haven't we. The sun is starting to go down from the looks of it, and this seems like the worst case scenario.]
...Hubert, we're lost, aren't we?
[this day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it]
Perhaps we should try to find somewhere as temporary shelter? At least for tonight. Our classmates and the Professor must be looking for us, after all.
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And Linhardt at least doesn't linger on it and offers a valid solution. Hubert nods, trying to ignore the embarrassment that comes with acknowledging that yes, he absolutely messed this up.]
I'm sure they'll find us soon enough.
[Thankfully, we aren't going to have to wander aimlessly for too long. There's a cottage out here - or at least, what once used to be one. What it's doing all the way out here is a mystery, but it looks like it was probably a cozy little place at one point. There's a fenced off, overgrown garden and while the place is long since abandoned and run-down, it's certainly sturdy enough to provide shelter for the night.
Even better, it's abandoned and safe. It looks like someone may have been using it somewhat recently since the interior has been cleaned up and repurposed as a proper shelter, but they're likely long since gone given that there isn't any personal belongings left behind.]
This should serve well enough for the time being.
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