![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
we're flying through the night
[There are a lot of things Hubert knows for certain.
He knows that Lady Edelgard will take the throne and usher in a new era for Fódlan. He knows that his duty is to serve Lady Edelgard, regardless of personal cost. He knows that he would do anything and everything for her. He knows that his entire being is devoted to her, completely. He knows that nothing can stand in the way of her conquest or of his devotion.
He also knows that he's been coughing up flower petals for exactly a week now.
Hanahaki Disease is certainly not uncommon in the monastery; most of them are a bunch of stupid teenagers, it certainly isn't surprising that several of them have managed to find themselves developing feelings for someone. Such a stupid, pointless thing should have been limited to the dumb teenagers who have nothing to worry about but grades and their stupid, pointless feelings for one another.
This shouldn't be happening to someone like him. Perhaps he would be taking the situation more seriously if his feelings were for Lady Edelgard - although a situation like that is a bit horrifying to imagine. He would never betray her trust in such a way. He loves her, certainly. But not like that. That would only cause problems.
No, these feelings have come from someone else; someone entirely unexpected.
Marianne.
It's been four months since they met. In truth, he doesn't recall much of their first interaction. Claude had called Lady Edelgard over (which meant he had come with her) to introduce the others in his house as they ate breakfast. All he can remember is assessing the individuals to see if any of them could potentially be useful to the future Empress or if they could pose a threat. Marianne hadn't stood out at the time.
She hadn't stood out much when they'd first ended up talking either. It had been during some downtime, when she was tending to the animals and he was doing his usual patrols around the grounds. He'd startled the horses she was tending to so badly it had taken her quite a long time to calm them down. He had lingered a bit - curiosity compelling him to stay and watch - but he doesn't recall much of their conversation that day. Marianne was just as quiet as he had figured.
They met a few times like that, where she took care of the horses and pegasi and he watched. Despite being the most intimidating student in the academy (because he was certainly more intimidating than Dedue), she had let him remain there without much in the way of commentary.
Eventually, she ended up joining their class. Professor Byleth is certainly a skilled instructor (despite their lack of experience in teaching), so it was no surprise that Marianne had eventually left the Golden Deer to join up with them. Not that he's really aware why Marianne had joined - he hasn't asked her. It's the most logical conclusion, though.
From there, they were set to stable duty together. He'd tried to get the professor to change their mind and stick him with Lady Edelgard, but they had refused to budge. Lady Edelgard also seems to be fine with her current job with Dorothea, so he supposes he can't complain too much... Even so, it's left him with a lot of time to get to know Marianne.
Oh, sure, they don't really talk that much. At first, it was difficult to work with her. She was so quiet and he was completely inexperienced at tending to animals, and the whole thing was a mess. But eventually she started explaining how and why she was doing things to help calm the animals, and while they certainly don't like him, they're beginning to warm up a bit.
He would have just left it at that, and maybe this whole Hanahaki disaster wouldn't have happened. But instead, he decided he needed to be three steps ahead - as always - and asked Marianne to teach him to ride. A horse, of course, he wouldn't dare get near a wyvern or a pegasus. Hopefully no one was aware of that little problem.
Marianne had agreed, and riding lessons have been going surprisingly smoothly. Hubert was taught to ride as a child, but his mastery of horses is... lacking. Desperately lacking. If he has to fight on horseback, he'll definitely die. So learning to train a horse and teach it to respond to his commands is important, and Marianne has been helping tremendously.
Well, she was helping. Before the whole Hanahaki disaster thing.
He hasn't seen her in three days. Not that he's avoiding her. Or keeping track of the days. No, that isn't it at all. It's just that he's been terribly busy with Lady Edelgard's plans - they still can't do anything just yet, but every step is another one closer to her victory. It's slow-going, but it's a necessity.
In truth, he's been distant from everyone, even her. He has work to do, certainly. But he also has to keep these stupid petals to himself so no one finds out. Admitting that he has a problem sounds like a horrible idea. It would just cause Lady Edelgard to worry and the other students of the Black Eagles house to tease him mercilessly. So no, he won't do that. Once he has the time, he'll simply track down Professor Manuela and make her remove this stupid thing. The memories he'll lose don't matter to him.
(Never mind that he could do this at any point and waiting only makes it worse.)
Today isn't really any better than any of the days before it. He can usually get through the days with only two coughing jags, and he's been lucky enough to hide it from everyone. Today continues that trend - but only barely.
It strikes him when he's in the library, searching through financial records for information that could assist Lady Edelgard. The near-choking feeling hits him suddenly, and he coughs up more than a handful of delicate, white petals. The fact that they're still white is good - it hasn't been long enough to risk staining them red. Perhaps that's the one good thing about this - at least he's coughing up light-colored petals.
Linhardt is in the library, but even the rough, nearly-pained sounds of coughing up flower petals isn't enough to wake him. Hubert can be thankful of that much, but he's certainly not wasting any more time in here. He puts the books away, grabs the petals, and leaves. Hubert heads back to his room in a hurry, those petals clutched tightly in hand so no one will see them. No one can know about this.
...He's missed a single petal, but surely that isn't important.]
He knows that Lady Edelgard will take the throne and usher in a new era for Fódlan. He knows that his duty is to serve Lady Edelgard, regardless of personal cost. He knows that he would do anything and everything for her. He knows that his entire being is devoted to her, completely. He knows that nothing can stand in the way of her conquest or of his devotion.
He also knows that he's been coughing up flower petals for exactly a week now.
Hanahaki Disease is certainly not uncommon in the monastery; most of them are a bunch of stupid teenagers, it certainly isn't surprising that several of them have managed to find themselves developing feelings for someone. Such a stupid, pointless thing should have been limited to the dumb teenagers who have nothing to worry about but grades and their stupid, pointless feelings for one another.
This shouldn't be happening to someone like him. Perhaps he would be taking the situation more seriously if his feelings were for Lady Edelgard - although a situation like that is a bit horrifying to imagine. He would never betray her trust in such a way. He loves her, certainly. But not like that. That would only cause problems.
No, these feelings have come from someone else; someone entirely unexpected.
Marianne.
It's been four months since they met. In truth, he doesn't recall much of their first interaction. Claude had called Lady Edelgard over (which meant he had come with her) to introduce the others in his house as they ate breakfast. All he can remember is assessing the individuals to see if any of them could potentially be useful to the future Empress or if they could pose a threat. Marianne hadn't stood out at the time.
She hadn't stood out much when they'd first ended up talking either. It had been during some downtime, when she was tending to the animals and he was doing his usual patrols around the grounds. He'd startled the horses she was tending to so badly it had taken her quite a long time to calm them down. He had lingered a bit - curiosity compelling him to stay and watch - but he doesn't recall much of their conversation that day. Marianne was just as quiet as he had figured.
They met a few times like that, where she took care of the horses and pegasi and he watched. Despite being the most intimidating student in the academy (because he was certainly more intimidating than Dedue), she had let him remain there without much in the way of commentary.
Eventually, she ended up joining their class. Professor Byleth is certainly a skilled instructor (despite their lack of experience in teaching), so it was no surprise that Marianne had eventually left the Golden Deer to join up with them. Not that he's really aware why Marianne had joined - he hasn't asked her. It's the most logical conclusion, though.
From there, they were set to stable duty together. He'd tried to get the professor to change their mind and stick him with Lady Edelgard, but they had refused to budge. Lady Edelgard also seems to be fine with her current job with Dorothea, so he supposes he can't complain too much... Even so, it's left him with a lot of time to get to know Marianne.
Oh, sure, they don't really talk that much. At first, it was difficult to work with her. She was so quiet and he was completely inexperienced at tending to animals, and the whole thing was a mess. But eventually she started explaining how and why she was doing things to help calm the animals, and while they certainly don't like him, they're beginning to warm up a bit.
He would have just left it at that, and maybe this whole Hanahaki disaster wouldn't have happened. But instead, he decided he needed to be three steps ahead - as always - and asked Marianne to teach him to ride. A horse, of course, he wouldn't dare get near a wyvern or a pegasus. Hopefully no one was aware of that little problem.
Marianne had agreed, and riding lessons have been going surprisingly smoothly. Hubert was taught to ride as a child, but his mastery of horses is... lacking. Desperately lacking. If he has to fight on horseback, he'll definitely die. So learning to train a horse and teach it to respond to his commands is important, and Marianne has been helping tremendously.
Well, she was helping. Before the whole Hanahaki disaster thing.
He hasn't seen her in three days. Not that he's avoiding her. Or keeping track of the days. No, that isn't it at all. It's just that he's been terribly busy with Lady Edelgard's plans - they still can't do anything just yet, but every step is another one closer to her victory. It's slow-going, but it's a necessity.
In truth, he's been distant from everyone, even her. He has work to do, certainly. But he also has to keep these stupid petals to himself so no one finds out. Admitting that he has a problem sounds like a horrible idea. It would just cause Lady Edelgard to worry and the other students of the Black Eagles house to tease him mercilessly. So no, he won't do that. Once he has the time, he'll simply track down Professor Manuela and make her remove this stupid thing. The memories he'll lose don't matter to him.
(Never mind that he could do this at any point and waiting only makes it worse.)
Today isn't really any better than any of the days before it. He can usually get through the days with only two coughing jags, and he's been lucky enough to hide it from everyone. Today continues that trend - but only barely.
It strikes him when he's in the library, searching through financial records for information that could assist Lady Edelgard. The near-choking feeling hits him suddenly, and he coughs up more than a handful of delicate, white petals. The fact that they're still white is good - it hasn't been long enough to risk staining them red. Perhaps that's the one good thing about this - at least he's coughing up light-colored petals.
Linhardt is in the library, but even the rough, nearly-pained sounds of coughing up flower petals isn't enough to wake him. Hubert can be thankful of that much, but he's certainly not wasting any more time in here. He puts the books away, grabs the petals, and leaves. Hubert heads back to his room in a hurry, those petals clutched tightly in hand so no one will see them. No one can know about this.
...He's missed a single petal, but surely that isn't important.]
no subject
...Wait. Wait--Marianne's eyes go wide for a moment, and she brings the hand with the petal clutched in it close to her as she takes a step back at his words. She didn't actually think that he was dealing with that disease--he couldn't be, could he? There's only one person he could possibly like, and that's--
Oh. Marianne's hand goes back to the petal, the realization hitting her all at once.]
N-no, you're right. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry, I should--
[Her look goes back to his hand for a moment, that clutched hand, and Marianne feels like she distinctly knows something she shouldn't. She's more than prepared to flee the scene and put ample space between herself and Hubert, giving a small bow--
Before Ms. Birdy decides she's had enough and takes a dive at Hubert's clutched hand. Marianne's frozen in place when that little yellow blur goes by, and...well, hopefully your reflexes are good, Hubert, because the bird is absolutely going to try and dive at his hand until it lets go.]
no subject
It isn't often anyone is able to see through Hubert like that and while his reaction was admittedly not great, he still should have been able to get away with that. How has she figured him out so easily?
He doesn't have long to wonder it - because suddenly the bird dives at his hand.
The problem isn't his reaction time, actually. He reacts quickly enough. The problem is that his reflex is to call magic to his fingertips and it would be a horrible idea to throw a spell at the poor damn bird in front of Marianne.
(It would be a horrible idea in general, because if anyone ever found out he'd never be able to live it down. But it's especially a terrible idea in front of someone who loves animals.)
So he forces the spell to dissipate from the fingers of his dominant hand, which leaves the bird free to peck at his hand.
It's not anything particularly painful, but the surprise of it coupled with the absolute absurdity that is nearly blasting a bird with dark magic all because it dared attack him (for some reason) gets him to release his grip reflexively.
Crumpled white petals drift to the ground below as he backs up.]
...
[And just when he thought things couldn't get any more awkward.]
Don't... [it's hissed out, quiet but intense] Don't you dare tell anyone or I will...
[The threat trails off there. Eliminate you was probably how he'd end that, but the words dry up in his throat as he glares daggers at the bird. He should leave. He needs to leave. But he can't leave until he knows she isn't going to say a damn thing because if word of this gets out...
If word of this gets out, he's going to have a much bigger mess to deal with. He can only imagine how Lady Edelgard would react, and that's to say nothing of the other idiots in their house. Ferdinand will probably never shut up. Dorothea will never shut up. He is not going to deal with that.
But even so, he doesn't finish the threat. It hangs there, feeling far too weak.]
no subject
But then his hand opens, and white flower petals aplenty are released and cast to the ground. Ms. birdy seems satisfied with her work and flies away, as quick as she came, and the two of them are left by themselves. Marianne clutches the hand with that small petal she has close to her mouth, hiding her expression a bit.
...And then that hissed threat is thrown out and Marianne has the very distinct feeling that she's learned entirely too much, and she should express it in the most eloquent way possible.]
I-I'm sorry! I need to go!
[...By which I mean she is taking off like a shot back the way she came, fully resolving to forget this ever happened. It's fine, right? This should be fine. Neither of them will have to deal with each other again and maybe her own feelings will die off. It's fine.
Marianne will take the secret of Hubert's feelings for Edelgard to the grave, as far as she's concerned, and she's genuinely hoping that he doesn't pursue at this point...]
no subject
Hubert exhales slowly, then stoops to gather the dropped flower petals. He's seen enough of Marianne to know that she isn't an immediate threat. Had the petals looked blood-stained or far too large she might have run off to tell someone, but as they are now it's manageable. She won't do anything stupid right now.
That doesn't mean she won't do something stupid eventually, however.
So that's why he chooses to spend all of his free time tailing Marianne over the next couple of days. It's the sort of thing that might start rumors, but Hubert is exceptionally good at sticking to the shadows and only being seen when he wants to be. She might have noticed that he seems to be always around, but that can be written off as coincidence. Spooky coincidence, but hey, intimidation is the game plan here.
It's nighttime when he decides to take a more active approach. Marianne is (unsurprisingly) at the stables again, presumably tending to the horses one last time before bed. Hubert followed her here (of course) and has been sticking to the shadows, but now... Well, now he steps into a better-lit area, folding his arms and simply waiting for her to notice him.
Which definitely isn't creepy at all, thanks Hubert.]
no subject
(As much as it made her chest ache, though she isn't sure if it's because of her unrequited feelings hurting her figuratively or literally.)
Things settle back into a rather fixed schedule for Marianne, and yet, she can't help but notice that Hubert's always around when she is. It's...concerning, to say the least, and it's doing absolutely nothing to help her feel at ease at all. She was already trying to evade Dorothea and Hilda at all costs, but now she had to try and avoid him too. It was agonizing.
About as agonizing as the coughing fits, that perhaps thankfully had the decency of happening out of his eyeshot in her room. The petals were certainly getting worse, especially with this revelation, but it was fine. Surely, it would be fine.
Marianne tends to the horses before bed, making sure they're well fed and tended to. Sure, there are other students who can take care of them, but...Marianne finds herself at peace with them. Even if something feels really distinctly not right about tonight. She's not sure why the horses seem so on edge, but she takes care of them as best she can. What could possibly be spooking them so? She can't get any answers from them, but...
When Hubert finally steps into the light, it's Dorte that gets her to look in his direction, and Marianne jumps when her eyes catch sight of him.]
Eek! [Marianne's brush and the bucket with some of the vegetables from supper are flung into the air as she lets out a small yelp, everything falling to the ground. Oh no. Oh no, what is he doing here--] H-Hubert? Um, what are you doing here?
[The question is very drenched in worry, and needless to say, she's uh. Sufficiently intimidated right now. She looks very much like she belongs in her original house, like she's an incredibly skittish deer.]
no subject
You fled without promising to keep your mouth shut the other day.
[...yep. That's exactly how this is gonna be. I don't know what anyone expected here.]
I want your word, Marianne. I do not want this getting out.
[He doesn't need to summon magic to his fingertips or pull a blade, he's intimidating enough with his height and appearance and... also still being close enough to the shadows where it makes him look significantly more threatening. Listen, he wouldn't be nearly as effective at this if he was standing directly under a lamp, he knows what he's doing.
(Never mind the way his pulse spikes when she startles; never mind that his heart beats faster just on seeing her. It's not important.)]
no subject
I-I won't say anything. I give you my word, that I won't tell a soul...
[She's breathing far too fast, far too afraid. Hubert is more than intimidating enough as it stands, but he looks like something out of a nightmare in the shadows and Marianne doesn't like it. Marianne needs to compose herself, though the horses are making vaguely keening sounds and she can't exactly ignore them.]
I'm sorry for what happened, but please...you're scaring them...
[Stop scaring me is probably what she should say, but the words don't come. Marianne tries to gulp down a breath to get herself settled, but it's not working. It's not working at all.]
And you shouldn't be near me.
no subject
He nods and turns to leave... But then her last words get him to pause. He turns back around, his one visible eyebrow arching.]
What makes you say that?
[It's curious, not a challenge. Already he's going through the information he knows of her - not nearly enough as he should, but the Golden Deer aren't students he knows well enough to pry information from - but he's coming up blank with an explanation for the strange words.
(Concern, part of him hopes, maybe it's concern and she's worried about him—)]
no subject
I...it's...
[Marianne tries to gulp another breath down, and it doesn't help.]
I'm only going to bring you misfortune, if you stay near me. It would be best if you kept your distance.
[It's soft, but it's firm. She's believed it all her life, after all.]
no subject
[Now that he thinks about it... he has heard something like that, hasn't he? Dorothea was gossiping about that with Petra at one point, wasn't she? He'd dismissed it as idle chatter that was in no way important, but it sounds like Marianne actually believes that. For some reason.
Logically, there's no reason to pursue it any further. Superstitions like that are of no importance to him, and if this is what she believes, then he doubts he can change her mind. There's really no point at all in debating it further.
But his hand comes up to his chin as he considers it anyway and he's decided to speak even though it is pretty pointless.]
Do you really think you bring misfortune to others? How odd. I have a hard time imagining that.
[Despite the word choice, there's nothing in his tone to indicate sarcasm or anything pointed. It's certainly not gentle, but it's an attempt to open a dialogue, to hear her thoughts on it.
He is curious, and some small part of him wonders if there is a way to help free her of such a horrible misconception.]
no subject
No matter how much Marianne's chest aches, how much she likes Hubert--the cold, intimidating man who she let herself get too friendly with--she needs to let go of before something bad happens to him too.]
...That's all I've been able to bring people in my life; there's nothing to imagine about it. I just don't want to bring that to onto you. Especially if you...really are dealing with that.
[Marianne keeps her words vague, but her hand goes near her neck for a moment. The throat tickling is a little bit too much, and she turns away to cough into her hand a bit. Ah, great, that's--]
P-Please, you should-- [Another cough, a little harsher.] --you need to go, Hubert.
no subject
Oh. Oh no. What if she also has...?
This entire time he's assumed that Marianne isn't like the other idiots at the monastery, he assumed she wouldn't be stupid enough to fall for anyone here and find herself afflicted with the same disease. It's certainly possible that she's just ill or something, but it doesn't really seem likely.
Somehow, it never occurred to him that Marianne could have feelings for someone else.
Whatever it is he's feeling is deeply unpleasant, but instead of doing the smart thing and turning away to leave, he winds up staying. He wants to— no, he needs to know.]
You don't need to worry about me. I can handle any misfortune you may or may not bring. I've dealt with worse.
[The words aren't overconfident, they're simply stated as a fact. He's dealt with a lot of shit over the years, he'll probably be fine.
Of course, he doubts she'll buy that the only reason he's staying here is to argue this point with her. So he folds his arms and falls silent. Watching.]
no subject
This is just her luck today, isn't it? Hubert's not leaving her be, even when he should, when she's going to ruin his chances with Edelgard if he stays around her too much, and that coughing fit isn't stopping. No, if anything it's getting worse, and she turns almost entirely away from him and coughs into her hand--]
Please-- [Marianne's tone is more insistent, though it sounds like she's pretty blocked up with something if her coughing is any indication.] --you're very important to Edelgard, and I know she's important to you too. If I was the reason you got hurt, I'd never...
[Marianne looks at her hand, at the blue petals that have come out, and she feels herself pale and her words stop all at once.
They've gotten much bigger, and there's at least a few with a speckle or two of red on them. Goddess above--this is getting worse. Marianne crouches down and attempts to collect the petals that have fallen on the ground as fast as she can. She can't let him see them, she can't--]
I'd never forgive myself. I've already been too close to you as it is...
no subject
...Given what she believes about herself, he's not surprised by the latter.
Something about it infuriates him. Maybe it's the fact that she's leaving this untreated, maybe it's that she's developed feelings for someone else even before he developed feelings for her (and he never had a chance— not that he really wanted one, but—) or maybe it's just general frustration at seeing her hurting like this and knowing that there isn't a damn thing he can do to help her.
His breath catches for a moment, and he forces it out as he tries to smother the anger.]
You aren't going to cause anything to happen. Lady Edelgard and I will be just fine.
[That's the first thing to address, because it is the most important. It's not exactly reassuring, but it's certain. There's no room for argument.]
Who are those for?
[He inclines his head just a bit to indicate the petals. It's a mistake for several reasons, but he can't say he really cares about any of them right now. He wants to know. He wants to know so he can...
So he can what? This isn't his problem to solve. This isn't something he can do anything about. It's likely Marianne's found herself taken with someone's charms within their house, and given that Dorothea and Ferdinand exist, he's not really surprised. Still, it leaves him feeling antsy and angry in a way he doesn't like.]
no subject
And then he asks the damned question, and Marianne tries to pick them up even faster because she feels humiliated.]
Please, don't ask that. They're for someone they shouldn't be for...
[Marianne keeps her back turned to him, but she finishes picking up the petals and tries to catch her breath. She loves Hubert too much to let him even fathom who these could be for.]
I don't want to hurt them.
no subject
It only makes the irritation boil more - whoever it is they'd be damn lucky to have Marianne.]
I see. I won't ask again.
[She won't tell him, and trying to threaten it out of her will only make it worse.]
What do you plan to do about it?
[It's not quite the question he wants to ask, but it's a good enough start.]
no subject
Marianne sighs, defeated.]
...Nothing.
[It's a simple answer that doesn't betray a thing. Marianne's memories of Hubert are precious, after all; far too precious to remove. And she won't remove them. Maybe it was silly to think that her feelings would even have a chance, in comparison to Edelgard. She's such a lovely, headstrong woman; she's what Hubert deserves.]
I...don't want to get rid of my memories of them. But I can't say anything to them, either. So...
no subject
You'd let yourself die?
[His one visible eye narrows at that. He doesn't like it. That's probably obvious in his tone of voice, the harshness behind the words, the way his hands tighten on the sleeves on his uniform where he has his arms crossed.]
Don't be stupid. If they're feelings you can't act on, then remove them. You can't die to this.
[I won't let you but that's... That's not something he can say. He can't let her know, not when she's pining for someone she can't have. That's entirely too much to put on her.
It'll be fine, he tries to tell himself. He'll convince her to have those feelings removed, to remain safe. And once she's cured, he'll do the same.
He tries to ignore how the thought makes him ache.]
no subject
I don't want to forget him.
[That comes out surprisingly harsh, and when Marianne turns back around to face Hubert, she's shaking. She can hear the animals starting to get a little distressed, and the near glare on her face abates, only slightly.
...And then she realizes what she's said, and she feels her face start to heat--]
...I'm sorry, Hubert, I--I said too much. I should...
[...She doesn't make to move, even if she's definitely trying to say that she should go, but her grip tightens on the petals in her hand and she looks away, ashamed.]
no subject
Jealousy is an ugly, unnecessary emotion. It's not as though he's never felt it, but it's particularly disgusting now.
He wants to stop her, he wants to tell her that she needs to do something about this, that she can't die, but...
He doesn't know what to say to her. That's what it comes down to. He doesn't know how to stop her or help her or do anything for her and the anger turns inward.]
My apologies. I hadn't realized this was so... [important to you] ...difficult for you.
Even so, I must ask you to consider finding a solution. It would be a shame if we... [lost you]
I don't wish to see anything happen to you, Marianne.
[Is that a safe answer? He doesn't stumble over the words, but his gaze does dart as he says it. It's not nearly open or honest enough for her to assume anything, right? It should be fine.]
no subject
She's surprised by the...well, Hubert's never been particularly gentle in his life, but his words seem comparatively smaller than he usually is. Maybe she's reading too much into it, but the way he amends his words, how he's asking her to find a solution, how he doesn't want to see anything happen to her...
...]
...It's okay.
[Marianne's words are a little softer. She's never seen him like this, and it's...strange, in a way she's not sure about. In a way that worries her. She winds up walking forward a bit, nearer to him.]
I'm sorry. I...made you uncomfortable, didn't I. [Marianne fidgets a bit with one of her sleeves, with her unoccupied hand.] I shouldn't have said that. It's just...um...
[...]
He has that problem too. With the disease. [Marianne looks away again.] I'm worried that if I say something, it might ruin his chances with the one he truly loves.
But...he's been very nice to me. So I don't want to forget him, either. [...] I don't know what to do.
[This is the most she's...really talked all at once, isn't it. It's awkward--Marianne is always awkward, but she's not an expressive person. And yet...she at least wants to try to explain to him the situation.
(Maybe it'll give her the strength to try to confess.)]
no subject
Of course, his immediate thought is to run over everyone in the academy to try to remember which of them could have the disease and who could possibly be hiding it. It's likely she's taken with someone from the Golden Deer... Lorenz is entirely too stupid to keep his mouth shut, so it can't be him. Claude? Claude. Probably. He makes the most sense. If someone were to be hiding their condition, it would be him.
After all, he can't come up with anyone else who is openly displaying symptoms right now.]
I see. I... can see where that would be very difficult.
[The hesitation is... certainly something, isn't it. He tries to recover from it.]
Are you certain he doesn't feel that way for you?
[It's not a pointed question at all, it's just curious. He doesn't know Claude as a person very well - or at all, really. He has no idea who Claude could be interested in, but why wouldn't it be Marianne? She's a gentle, kind girl who has trouble expressing herself, but she always looks out for those around her and cares so deeply...
Ah. He really does need to stop thinking like that...]
no subject
That is a good question, now isn't it. Marianne fidgets a bit more, considering her options. Hubert didn't even catch on, so it's likely he really is already occupied Edelgard. But then again, she's not exactly being direct...]
I've been, um, too afraid to ask. He's...someone I consider a friend--but I don't want to get too close.
[Obviously, due to the whole misfortune thing.]
He...he really clearly cares for someone else, too. I don't...um...want to ruin that. Or our friendship.
[...Marianne curses herself for that. That's too obvious, isn't it?]
no subject
I see.
[...Is she friends with Claude? They were in the same house so probably? But they don't really spend much time together now, do they? He hasn't noticed anything like that... Marianne usually spends time with Hilda or Dorothea...]
I can understand why you wouldn't want to risk that. But isn't taking that risk better than letting yourself die?
[He doesn't want to push her into confessing, for quite a few reasons. Marianne isn't the sort to be that forceful, and she would probably prefer to remain passive. She might have a hard time doing that. And there's the jealousy, of course. He hates the idea of her confessing to Claude and the risk that comes with it. If she's rebuffed that's one thing (though how could anyone rebuff her?), but if Claude feels the same way...
It makes his stomach turn in knots.]
no subject
[...Marianne doesn't know how to respond to that. She doesn't know if she could tell Hubert. She really doesn't, because if he rebuffs her, that's going to hurt more than anything else--]
...But what do I do if he doesn't like me back?
[She doesn't know if she can work up the gumption to try, but...
Maybe if she hears his advice, she can try.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)