darkseal: (♝ 10)
Hubert von Vestra ([personal profile] darkseal) wrote in [community profile] sranks2019-09-15 06:57 pm

we're flying through the night

[There are a lot of things Hubert knows for certain.

He knows that Lady Edelgard will take the throne and usher in a new era for Fódlan. He knows that his duty is to serve Lady Edelgard, regardless of personal cost. He knows that he would do anything and everything for her. He knows that his entire being is devoted to her, completely. He knows that nothing can stand in the way of her conquest or of his devotion.

He also knows that he's been coughing up flower petals for exactly a week now.

Hanahaki Disease is certainly not uncommon in the monastery; most of them are a bunch of stupid teenagers, it certainly isn't surprising that several of them have managed to find themselves developing feelings for someone. Such a stupid, pointless thing should have been limited to the dumb teenagers who have nothing to worry about but grades and their stupid, pointless feelings for one another.

This shouldn't be happening to someone like him. Perhaps he would be taking the situation more seriously if his feelings were for Lady Edelgard - although a situation like that is a bit horrifying to imagine. He would never betray her trust in such a way. He loves her, certainly. But not like that. That would only cause problems.

No, these feelings have come from someone else; someone entirely unexpected.

Marianne.

It's been four months since they met. In truth, he doesn't recall much of their first interaction. Claude had called Lady Edelgard over (which meant he had come with her) to introduce the others in his house as they ate breakfast. All he can remember is assessing the individuals to see if any of them could potentially be useful to the future Empress or if they could pose a threat. Marianne hadn't stood out at the time.

She hadn't stood out much when they'd first ended up talking either. It had been during some downtime, when she was tending to the animals and he was doing his usual patrols around the grounds. He'd startled the horses she was tending to so badly it had taken her quite a long time to calm them down. He had lingered a bit - curiosity compelling him to stay and watch - but he doesn't recall much of their conversation that day. Marianne was just as quiet as he had figured.

They met a few times like that, where she took care of the horses and pegasi and he watched. Despite being the most intimidating student in the academy (because he was certainly more intimidating than Dedue), she had let him remain there without much in the way of commentary.

Eventually, she ended up joining their class. Professor Byleth is certainly a skilled instructor (despite their lack of experience in teaching), so it was no surprise that Marianne had eventually left the Golden Deer to join up with them. Not that he's really aware why Marianne had joined - he hasn't asked her. It's the most logical conclusion, though.

From there, they were set to stable duty together. He'd tried to get the professor to change their mind and stick him with Lady Edelgard, but they had refused to budge. Lady Edelgard also seems to be fine with her current job with Dorothea, so he supposes he can't complain too much... Even so, it's left him with a lot of time to get to know Marianne.

Oh, sure, they don't really talk that much. At first, it was difficult to work with her. She was so quiet and he was completely inexperienced at tending to animals, and the whole thing was a mess. But eventually she started explaining how and why she was doing things to help calm the animals, and while they certainly don't like him, they're beginning to warm up a bit.

He would have just left it at that, and maybe this whole Hanahaki disaster wouldn't have happened. But instead, he decided he needed to be three steps ahead - as always - and asked Marianne to teach him to ride. A horse, of course, he wouldn't dare get near a wyvern or a pegasus. Hopefully no one was aware of that little problem.

Marianne had agreed, and riding lessons have been going surprisingly smoothly. Hubert was taught to ride as a child, but his mastery of horses is... lacking. Desperately lacking. If he has to fight on horseback, he'll definitely die. So learning to train a horse and teach it to respond to his commands is important, and Marianne has been helping tremendously.

Well, she was helping. Before the whole Hanahaki disaster thing.

He hasn't seen her in three days. Not that he's avoiding her. Or keeping track of the days. No, that isn't it at all. It's just that he's been terribly busy with Lady Edelgard's plans - they still can't do anything just yet, but every step is another one closer to her victory. It's slow-going, but it's a necessity.

In truth, he's been distant from everyone, even her. He has work to do, certainly. But he also has to keep these stupid petals to himself so no one finds out. Admitting that he has a problem sounds like a horrible idea. It would just cause Lady Edelgard to worry and the other students of the Black Eagles house to tease him mercilessly. So no, he won't do that. Once he has the time, he'll simply track down Professor Manuela and make her remove this stupid thing. The memories he'll lose don't matter to him.

(Never mind that he could do this at any point and waiting only makes it worse.)

Today isn't really any better than any of the days before it. He can usually get through the days with only two coughing jags, and he's been lucky enough to hide it from everyone. Today continues that trend - but only barely.

It strikes him when he's in the library, searching through financial records for information that could assist Lady Edelgard. The near-choking feeling hits him suddenly, and he coughs up more than a handful of delicate, white petals. The fact that they're still white is good - it hasn't been long enough to risk staining them red. Perhaps that's the one good thing about this - at least he's coughing up light-colored petals.

Linhardt is in the library, but even the rough, nearly-pained sounds of coughing up flower petals isn't enough to wake him. Hubert can be thankful of that much, but he's certainly not wasting any more time in here. He puts the books away, grabs the petals, and leaves. Hubert heads back to his room in a hurry, those petals clutched tightly in hand so no one will see them. No one can know about this.

...He's missed a single petal, but surely that isn't important.]
crestcurse: (✞ Four.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
[Marianne was really hoping that he would simply leave it at that and leave her be. She wants to get back to her room, and she already feels her throat starting to tickle in the worst ways--]

I...it's...

[Marianne tries to gulp another breath down, and it doesn't help.]

I'm only going to bring you misfortune, if you stay near me. It would be best if you kept your distance.

[It's soft, but it's firm. She's believed it all her life, after all.]
crestcurse: (✞ Five.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Why was he asking her? Really, Marianne was hoping that he would be content to leave it at that, but does she really want to go into all of the misfortune she and her parents have faced because of their crest? No, no, she shouldn't, her adoptive father already paid the church an incredible sum to hide her crest, and she can't just break all of that at once.

No matter how much Marianne's chest aches, how much she likes Hubert--the cold, intimidating man who she let herself get too friendly with--she needs to let go of before something bad happens to him too.]


...That's all I've been able to bring people in my life; there's nothing to imagine about it. I just don't want to bring that to onto you. Especially if you...really are dealing with that.

[Marianne keeps her words vague, but her hand goes near her neck for a moment. The throat tickling is a little bit too much, and she turns away to cough into her hand a bit. Ah, great, that's--]

P-Please, you should-- [Another cough, a little harsher.] --you need to go, Hubert.
Edited (comma how did you get there) 2019-09-16 05:36 (UTC)
crestcurse: (✞ Three.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Why isn't he leaving.

This is just her luck today, isn't it? Hubert's not leaving her be, even when he should, when she's going to ruin his chances with Edelgard if he stays around her too much, and that coughing fit isn't stopping. No, if anything it's getting worse, and she turns almost entirely away from him and coughs into her hand--]


Please-- [Marianne's tone is more insistent, though it sounds like she's pretty blocked up with something if her coughing is any indication.] --you're very important to Edelgard, and I know she's important to you too. If I was the reason you got hurt, I'd never...

[Marianne looks at her hand, at the blue petals that have come out, and she feels herself pale and her words stop all at once.

They've gotten much bigger, and there's at least a few with a speckle or two of red on them. Goddess above--this is getting worse. Marianne crouches down and attempts to collect the petals that have fallen on the ground as fast as she can. She can't let him see them, she can't--]


I'd never forgive myself. I've already been too close to you as it is...
crestcurse: (✞ Four.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't know that. He doesn't know that at all, and Marianne wants to shout, to tell him to stop, he's her friend (is he? all she's been doing is teaching him, that hardly constitutes a friendship--), and she just wants to keep him safe. His statement might leave no room for argument, but she has to try--

And then he asks the damned question, and Marianne tries to pick them up even faster because she feels humiliated.]


Please, don't ask that. They're for someone they shouldn't be for...

[Marianne keeps her back turned to him, but she finishes picking up the petals and tries to catch her breath. She loves Hubert too much to let him even fathom who these could be for.]

I don't want to hurt them.
crestcurse: (✞ One.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
[...It kind of defeats the purpose of not asking again if you bring up the subject in the same damn breath, Hubert...

Marianne sighs, defeated.]


...Nothing.

[It's a simple answer that doesn't betray a thing. Marianne's memories of Hubert are precious, after all; far too precious to remove. And she won't remove them. Maybe it was silly to think that her feelings would even have a chance, in comparison to Edelgard. She's such a lovely, headstrong woman; she's what Hubert deserves.]

I...don't want to get rid of my memories of them. But I can't say anything to them, either. So...
crestcurse: (✞ Six.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Why are you like this Hubert!!]

I don't want to forget him.

[That comes out surprisingly harsh, and when Marianne turns back around to face Hubert, she's shaking. She can hear the animals starting to get a little distressed, and the near glare on her face abates, only slightly.

...And then she realizes what she's said, and she feels her face start to heat--]


...I'm sorry, Hubert, I--I said too much. I should...

[...She doesn't make to move, even if she's definitely trying to say that she should go, but her grip tightens on the petals in her hand and she looks away, ashamed.]
crestcurse: (✞ One.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
[Marianne's look goes back to Hubert when he speaks up again, and the words are...

She's surprised by the...well, Hubert's never been particularly gentle in his life, but his words seem comparatively smaller than he usually is. Maybe she's reading too much into it, but the way he amends his words, how he's asking her to find a solution, how he doesn't want to see anything happen to her...

...]


...It's okay.

[Marianne's words are a little softer. She's never seen him like this, and it's...strange, in a way she's not sure about. In a way that worries her. She winds up walking forward a bit, nearer to him.]

I'm sorry. I...made you uncomfortable, didn't I. [Marianne fidgets a bit with one of her sleeves, with her unoccupied hand.] I shouldn't have said that. It's just...um...

[...]

He has that problem too. With the disease. [Marianne looks away again.] I'm worried that if I say something, it might ruin his chances with the one he truly loves.

But...he's been very nice to me. So I don't want to forget him, either. [...] I don't know what to do.

[This is the most she's...really talked all at once, isn't it. It's awkward--Marianne is always awkward, but she's not an expressive person. And yet...she at least wants to try to explain to him the situation.

(Maybe it'll give her the strength to try to confess.)]
crestcurse: (✞ Four.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 07:26 am (UTC)(link)
[...

That is a good question, now isn't it. Marianne fidgets a bit more, considering her options. Hubert didn't even catch on, so it's likely he really is already occupied Edelgard. But then again, she's not exactly being direct...]


I've been, um, too afraid to ask. He's...someone I consider a friend--but I don't want to get too close.

[Obviously, due to the whole misfortune thing.]

He...he really clearly cares for someone else, too. I don't...um...want to ruin that. Or our friendship.

[...Marianne curses herself for that. That's too obvious, isn't it?]
crestcurse: (✞ Five.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 07:38 am (UTC)(link)
I...I...

[...Marianne doesn't know how to respond to that. She doesn't know if she could tell Hubert. She really doesn't, because if he rebuffs her, that's going to hurt more than anything else--]

...But what do I do if he doesn't like me back?

[She doesn't know if she can work up the gumption to try, but...

Maybe if she hears his advice, she can try.]
crestcurse: (✞ Two.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
[Marianne listens. She supposes that he is right; it is something that can only be decided between them, and them alone. Hubert isn't such a terrible person, so maybe...

I imagine he'd be willing to hear you out and try to help you.

Marianne feels herself smile--it's a small one, but...it's there, and she looks at Hubert.]


...Okay. I...I think that you're right.

[...]

Um, Hubert...I...

[Marianne breathes a bit, trying to steady herself.]

...I have feelings for you. [...] I know you love Edelgard, so I don't want to get between that, but you've...become someone precious to me.
crestcurse: (✞ Five.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
[...

Um.

Okay, of all of the things Marianne was expecting, this? This was not one of them. She winds up dropping the petals in her shock, mouth agape for a moment--]


No? Claude is... [a bit much. ...No, let's not dunk on her former house leader today.] I wasn't talking about him at all.

[...]

I thought I was being too obvious.

[Marianne thought he'd get it???]
crestcurse: (✞ Four.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[As Marianne listens to him, she's all too certain that he's finding the gentlest way to rebuff her. Maybe she really had read everything right in the first place, but it was...sweet, really, that he was going out of his way to at least be kind to her in rejection. Sure, it wasn't going to make these feelings any less painful to deal with--and she imagined that even he was going to insist that she get them removed, even if she would lose her memories of him. Maybe it would be for the best, but--

Before she can say anything, before she can try to run, he finally speaks up and she's not sure how to respond.]


I-I've mistaken them...?

[That comes out softly while he pauses, and she's...not sure how to feel. He doesn't love her? How could he not? She's such a strong woman, incredibly talented and gifted, and she's the sort of woman who he should be focusing his attention on.

But then he starts articulating his feelings, and Marianne isn't sure what to think. What to feel, really, because even if this is...well, undoubtedly a good thing, she's only putting him in danger by doing this. It's even more obvious now that she shouldn't have said anything, and there's no mistaking the slightly stressed look on Marianne's face.]


They were...for me?

[Marianne has to force those words out, and she can't even look at Hubert's blushing (cute) face.]

I...I don't know what to say. I'm glad that you share these feelings, but...

[Those doubts creep back into her, and she's looking toward the exit like she wants to make a break for it, not because she's scared, but because she's--]

...I still don't know if it's a good idea to properly pursue anything.

[It's simple, but she's sure he knows the reason why. She hasn't properly explained it, but maybe it will be easier now.]
Edited (nah let's go with this instead) 2019-09-16 16:58 (UTC)
crestcurse: (✞ One.)

[personal profile] crestcurse 2019-09-16 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Marianne pauses a bit, mulling over her options. Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to tell him about this--she trusts him, and he does keep asking. Maybe he'll understand the gravity of the situation if she actually admits it. Her father might be a little angry, if this ever comes up, but...

Well, that, and her father wants to marry into powerful nobility. Politically speaking, pursuing something with Hubert might not be a bad thing; it wouldn't be much of a step up, but considering how close Hubert is to Edelgard, maybe she could spin it in a way that ensures he'll approve. But she loves him too much to make that kind of talk...

He steps closer and Marianne jumps a bit, but she settles easily. Hubert is still intimidating, but there's something about the way he's talking to her that's...not terrible, at any rate.

Marianne's voice is hushed when she speaks up.]


I'm worried that you would get hurt, because of me. It's...something my father told me to never speak of. He...

[Perhaps it's a mistake, but she does trust him.]

...He paid the church to never look into my crest. Because all it's done is bring my family misfortune.
Edited 2019-09-16 20:28 (UTC)

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