sranks | two dumbasses get voluntold into adopting a child

[He watches the two of them pick out outfits - Linhardt's certainly got an eye for what will look good on her, and what will look good with her unique hair color - and then she's off skipping to the bath and—

And in almost no time at all, there's a loud splash and Hubert bursts out laughing.]

Oh dear. It seems as though she did take it literally.

[He sweeps into the bathroom and picks up several of those towels he was organizing, moving to start mopping up the water left behind on the floor from where she jumped in. Her clothes were dropped on the floor as well, so he hangs those up to dry as he chides Cassandra.]

He didn't mean that literally you know. You've left quite a mess.

[She pouts and leans over the edge of the tub to look down at the towels and water. "Sorry..."]

It's alright, just make sure you learn from this. Splashing about will only cause trouble.

[Linhardt's honestly mentally preparing for the worst and he's almost ready to dart in after Cassandra, ready to at least ensure that she won't hit her head when she hops in, and when he hears that splash...

...It takes a few seconds, but Linhardt first sighs and then chuckles, a bit relieved that the bathroom floor seems to have been the only thing damaged in the process. It takes a moment or two for Linhardt to compose himself, and he winds up following Hubert in and shaking his head a little bit.]

I really should have told you to not take that so literally... [Linhardt winds up shaking his head a bit, chuckling easily.] Thank you for being as quick to act as ever, Hubert...

[And he's gonna look at Cassandra--]

And please don't take me so literally next time.

[Cassandra winds up nodding her head, clearly having understood now. Linhardt breathes another sigh of relief.]

Do let us know when you're ready for your hair to be washed, okay?

[He smirks at his husband and moves to stand nearby for when Cassandra requires their help. She's quick to wash herself off - it's likely Octavia or the servants taught her how to clean herself thoroughly and she's very efficient at it. She does blow some bubbles up in the air, but otherwise she's ready fairly quickly. "Ready!"]

First, you'll need to dunk your head to get your hair wet. Did Octavia teach you how?

[She nods and is quick to demonstrate, slipping down into the water while holding her nose and squeezing her eyes shut. She surfaces soon after, shaking her head and blinking water out of her eyes. Thankfully, she doesn't get water everywhere, but Hubert sighs in exasperation.]

Do be careful not to get us too wet. ["Sorry..."] It's okay. Next, hold still and let us work on your hair.

[The soap's over on Linhardt's side, and Hubert's already removing his jacket and rolling up his sleeves to get started. He holds out a hand expectantly for Linhardt to pass the soap over.]

[Thank goodness for the servants or Octavia, honestly. Even if Cassandra blows bubbles in there, Linhardt honestly can't be too mad at her for having fun. Of course, then she's got her head under the water and she shakes herself out and Linhardt almost jumps back in surprise to attempt to avoid getting his outfit soaked, and...

...Okay, he still got hit, and he sighs. Say what one will about the way this man keeps his room, but he prefers keeping clean. Linhardt doesn't wind up speaking up, but he shakes his head when Hubert chides her.]

Ah, yes. Let me grab the shampoo...

[It's easy enough to find, and he'll grab the shampoo and pass it over to Hubert easily.]

This may tickle just a bit, Cassandra, but we're going to need you to stay as still as you can for us. Can you do that?

["I can do that." Cassandra says that much confidently, bobbing her head from behind them as Linhardt's expression settles into a smile.]

Thank you. Let's get started, Hubert.

[Let's soap that hair up!!]

Thank you.

[He'll get started, then! Cassandra's hair is thick and it gets wavy the further down it goes, which is at least somewhat similar to his own hair. As he works the lather into her scalp he explains what he's doing.]

You'll want to be careful with your hair - it can be a bit unruly, and you'll need to wash it frequently. Naturally wavy hair can be a bit of a pain to handle, so every day you should take care in brushing it, and you need to wash it frequently. Tangles are common, and not particularly easy to get out, especially with hair as long as yours.

[He continues, working it down through the rest of her hair, taking care with the wavy ends. Once that's done, he pulls back a bit.]

Go ahead and submerge yourself. Will you get the conditioner, Linhardt?

[Cassandra does as asked and rinses her hair out before rising, careful not to shake herself off this time.]

[Linhardt will gladly help as needed; he has washed Hubert's hair a few times, after all, and while he's not the best at dealing with it, he's doing well enough that they both can team up and take care of Cassandra's hair. It'll save them both time very easily, and Linhardt can't help but smile at Hubert when he explains how to care for her hair. It's...nice, to be able to care for her; better and less awkward than he was expecting, and it's comforting.

Maybe he was letting his own anxiety get the better of him.]

Of course. One moment, please.

[Linhardt happily goes and grabs the conditioner while he puts the shampoo back, passing that right over to Hubert easily.]

It will be very worth it to care for your hair, Cassandra. It may take a bit of extra time out of your day to do so...but every bit of care and effort you put into yourself will grant you an incredible sense of pride in yourself, and your own efforts. I promise you that.

[He smiles at Linhardt as he takes the conditioner, and quickly gets to work with that as well.]

You already have such long and beautiful hair, it would be good to take care of it, don't you agree?

["Yeah." She glances up at Linhardt at that. "It's the same color as yours!" Given that Octavia also has green hair, she probably thinks is a fairly normal hair color...]

Doesn't it look beautiful on him? He takes excellent care of his hair.

["It's so shiny!" "Sleek" is probably the word she was going for, but close enough. Hubert laughs, anyway.]

[Linhardt winds up chuckling a bit as he helps Hubert out, setting to work as well as they both chatter. He nods in agreement with Hubert, but that doesn't prepare Linhardt for Cassandra's words.

...

It doesn't actually have that bad of an effect on him, despite the surprise that comes from it. Hell, Linhardt winds up chuckling. He feels like he should be a little more awkward with such a thing, and yet it's not...bad, not at all.]

It is, yes. It's a lovely color, isn't it?

[--Of course then Hubert speaks up and Linhardt's cheeks go a little pink as he laughs again.]

Well, it's something that I've always enjoyed doing. One must simply pamper themselves and learn just how to make themselves shine well--it's one of the few things I put effort towards.

["Can my hair be that shiny?" Cassandra looks back at Linhardt curiously, and he winds up nodding his head.]

If you would like, I could certainly teach you a few things...I may need to enlist Hubert's help, however, since your hair is a little different from mine. [He looks at Hubert when he says that, smiling.] Would you mind that at all?

[He finishes with Cassandra's hair and wipes his hands off, smiling up at his husband at those words.]

Of course I wouldn't mind. Her hair will look beautiful by the time we're done.

[He indicates that she should dunk her head again, and Cassandra complies. She rinses the conditioner out and resurfaces, looking at both of them expectantly.]

That's all for now. When you're ready, you can get out of the tub and dry yourself off. You should comb your hair out before you go to bed as well.

["Okay." She wastes no time in climbing out and holding her hands out for a towel, which Hubert passes to her easily. He dumps a second one on her head while she's drying off and she giggles before moving to dry her hair with it. She's quick to change into her night clothes and grab a hairbrush before moving to sit on her bed.]

Do you want us to tell you a story before bed?

[Cassandra nods, patting the bed on either side of her before resuming work on her hair. Hubert takes one side and settles in easily.]

Once upon a time there existed a beautiful princess, with long, white hair. She wanted to change the world, to make it a better place for everyone. You see, the world she lived in was stagnant - unable to change. This world held tightly to many ideas that were outdated and causing people harm.

["What kind of ideas?"]

Nobility - the idea that certain people are better than others just because of their blood. This princess sought to change that, to create a world where everyone could be equal. She attended school and made many friends, all while learning more about the many enemies that would oppose her in the world.

One of her friends was a bright, cheerful young man who always thought the best of everyone. He was a bit silly, but he wanted to help her change the world because it was the right thing to do. He was a noble, but he knew his father was a terrible person. So he worked with the princess and fought by her side.

Another friend of hers was a singer, a beautiful woman who charmed everyone who watched her. But no one ever got to know who she truly was off-stage, and she was worried about her future. As a commoner, she didn't have a lot of money. She became very good friends with the princess.

There was another princess who attended the school as well, but she was from a land very far away. That land and the princess' had once fought, but both of them grew to understand and care for one another.

And finally, there was a very intelligent young man who often liked to nap the day away. He became a trusted adviser of the princess as she prepared for war. With his guidance, many of the unruly nobles came to help the princess.

[He's... kind of missing someone from this story, isn't he...]

[Linhardt smiles; it's hard not to be amused by all of this, but it's also nice too. He'll laugh when Cassandra's finally out and Hubert plops a towel on her head, and it's honestly just...silly to watch, really. It's nice? It makes them feel closer as people, and it's certainly not a bad feeling, at any rate.

Linhardt gladly settles in on the other side once Cassandra signals them to, and he listens to Hubert tell that story with rapt attention as well. It's certainly a basic telling, but...he would want history to tell this story, he thinks. The story of a beautiful princess and her friends, who sought to make the world equal and free from the ideas that had been held in place for millenia. Liberators, in a sense; heroes, in another.

...

But of course, Hubert is forgetting someone, and Linhardt tuts him just a bit.]

Ah-ah-ah. There is someone else you forgot in that story, isn't there?

[Cassandra looks over at Linhardt when he says that, tilting her head while she brushes out her hair. "Who did he forget?"]

The princess also had another friend. A very, very dear friend; an intimidating, yet intelligent man who served as her most stalwart companion and guardian for years. He was certainly someone who would defend the princess no matter what, and stayed by her side through thick and thin...but he was a man with an incredibly kind heart underneath it all. He too, wanted to bring about the change that the princess so desired, and did everything in his power to ensure that she could.

[Cassandra looks between them both for a moment while she brushes her hair, mulling that over before a smile comes onto her face. "Did the princess change the world?"]

She did. She worked incredibly hard and with the help of her friends, she was able to change the world for the benefit of all who lived in it.

[Oh, that... Well, he left out his own part in the story because frankly, the things he did are not the sort he ever wishes to tell Cassandra about. She doesn't need to know. Like with Her Majesty, Cassandra shouldn't ever have to worry about the things he's done.

But to hear Linhardt speak so highly of him... Well, it's... nice. Comforting, almost. He knows that his role was essential in Her Majesty's plans, but hearing it is wonderful.

He's content to move along with only a nod, but he's slightly pink now.]

Yes. She accomplished everything she set out to do, and she still works very hard to this day to make sure everyone can live happily.

["She sounds really nice..." Cassandra hums a bit and hands the brush off to Linhardt. She yawns and moves to wriggle underneath the covers.]

Ready to sleep now? ["Mhmm..."] Goodnight, Cassandra.

[He gets up to leave, lingering a bit at the doorway as he waits for Linhardt to join him.]

[Linhardt smiles when he catches a look at Hubert's face--like hell was he going to let Hubert forget his own role in this story. Even if he definitely glossed over a few things, it's fine! It's important to him, and it's important to Hubert he's sure.

Either way, Linhardt gladly takes Cassandra's brush when she passes it over to him, and he smiles when Cassandra is ready to go to sleep. He'll get up when Hubert does, going over to put her brush back before speaking up.]

Good night, Cassandra. And sweet dreams.

[Linhardt will join Hubert at the doorway easily, gently closing the door behind them both to let Cassandra sleep in peace.]

...That was nice, wasn't it?

It was.

[He hesitates for a moment still before turning to Linhardt and reaching for his hand.]

...Thank you, my love.

[In truth, he's not entirely sure how to express why he's so thankful for Linhardt's words. He's not really sure he understands it himself. But there's no denying that he is thankful, and he loves Linhardt more than he can ever express.]

We do still have to pack... but I want to be close to you for a bit.

[He wants to hold Linhardt, to be held, anything, as long as it can maybe express just how much his husband means to him.]

[Linhardt looks over at Hubert when he speaks, blinking a little in surprise when Hubert holds out his hand but taking it easily. For a moment he's a little confused, but...

Oh. Is he thanking him for ensuring he had a place in the story? Linhardt felt it was...obvious, to include him and his contributions, but...maybe to Hubert he wasn't thinking about that. Linhardt's look softens as he moves to lace their fingers together.]

You're quite welcome, Hubert. Let's go into our room for a little bit, shall we?

[He wants nothing more than for Hubert to curl up to him and let Linhardt hold him close; he may be a lanky man, but he knows Hubert doesn't mind.]

I would like nothing more than to hold you close to me as well, my love. For as long as you wish.

It can't be all evening, unfortunately...

[It doesn't take long for them to return to their room, and once Hubert's got the door shut behind them, he's quick to remove his uniform jacket. He sits on the bed to remove his boots and waits for Linhardt to join him.]

Thank you for accompanying me to Enbarr. I'm never fond of leaving you behind for any reason, but I can't imagine doing it right now.

[Especially with Cassandra here...]

I know, I know. We do need to pack...

[As much as Linhardt wants nothing more than to cuddle with his husband for the evening...still, once they're inside Linhardt removes his jacket and his crest emblem, before removing his shoes and socks and setting them nearby. Once he's gotten all of that taken care of, he's gonna just. Come over and flop on the bed, turning over a bit to stare at Hubert with a smile.]

You're welcome. I don't exactly like being away from you either, you know...so if I can come with you, I like to.

[It's easily said, really. Even if some of it was fear of dealing with Cassandra alone, he does love spending time with his husband no matter where he goes.]

[Hubert reaches out immediately to play with his husband's hair, content with that for now.]

I'm glad. Ideally I could remain with you all the time... But I will always come running whenever Lady Edelgard needs me. I do wonder what's so urgent this time, however...

[It's certainly strange. Oh well, he'll know tomorrow.]

But for now... Well, I certainly can't ignore my exceptionally handsome husband, now can I?

[Linhardt leans into the hair playing easily, honestly. He loves it when Hubert plays with his hair so much...]

I know, Hubert. And I wouldn't ask you to always take me everywhere with you...but if I can come with you, I would always like to. It's always so nice to be by your side...

[Of course, that second bit sees Linhardt's eyes gleam with a little mischief.]

I would be quite cross with you if you tried, you know.

[And that's about all of the warning Hubert gets before Linhardt gets up, wraps an arm around Hubert's shoulder, and attempts to drag him down onto the bed for cuddling purposes.]

Especially from my incredibly attractive husband, whom I'd love nothing more than to lavish attention on...

[Down he goes! Hubert laughs as he falls back into the bed, reaching out to cup the side of Linhardt's face gently.]

I can't imagine anything better than that. You always do tend to me so well, my dear... I could never ask for anything more. I truly am the luckiest man in the Empire to be married to you.

[Good!! Linhardt was going to kiss his husband's silly face once he got Hubert down there, but Linhardt winds up distracted by the hand on his cheek and melting into it a little.]

Well, you're always worth the effort I put in to do so. I wouldn't do that for just anyone...but I think I'm pretty lucky to be married to you, too. Especially when I get to see your lovely face this close...

[Linhardt nuzzles into his husband's hand a little.]

You flatter me.

[But just like always, it gets him to go pink. Hubert runs his thumb over Linhardt's cheek gently.]

I'm so happy with you. We'll have to see if we can find some time to ourselves while we're in Enbarr. I cherish all these moments we spend together like this, and I certainly don't want to lose them.

[Not to work, not to focusing solely on Cassandra, not even to Her Majesty. He'll always put her first, they both know that, but having the time to be Linhardt's and only Linhardt's means so much to him.]

[What can he say, he likes making his husband go pink!! It's super cute!!]

We certainly won't, if we have anything to say about it! I'm certain that one of the others will be happy to babysit while we go and seek out some peace and quiet, if you so wish...I know I certainly would.

[Linhardt understands, at any rate. He knows Hubert prioritizes a lot of things, but to have him all to Linhardt's self is the most fun he has. So he's happy to seek out ways to make it so...]

I know they will. I'm certain Dorothea will want to take her shopping... I can only imagine the faces she'll make at seeing Cassandra in black.

[She'll absolutely think Hubert is trying to turn her into a goth. It's not his fault she has the same taste in fashion!!]

I'd like that, though. Spending time with you is always a blessing, and it has been awhile since it's been just the two of us...

[Well, ignoring every morning and every evening.]

She likely will make some sort of face, yes. Likely all scrunched up and going-- [Linhardt does his best approximation of Dorothea's voice.] "Cassandra! Those two really let you go out in such drab, dismal clothes? That just won't do! Come now, let me go take you our for some real shopping."

[...Of course, Linhardt promptly starts snickering really hard after he does that--]

I would as well. I can never get enough of you, really. [Linhardt's hand goes to brush Hubert's bangs out of the way with a smile.] We'll have to plan something special, don't you agree?

[The impression gets a laugh from Hubert as well.]

I wouldn't be surprised at all if she said it in those exact words.

[But he settles a bit once that's out there, leaning into Linhardt's hand as his husband brushes his bangs out of his eyes.]

Yes, of course I'm in agreement. Is there anything in particular you'd like to do or see while we're in Enbarr, or would you rather spend all day in bed?

[It's teasing, of course, but...]

...Though I can't really say I'd mind the latter. I can think of plenty of ways to keep you busy.

[oh my god.]

two dumbasses get voluntold into adopting a child

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