sranks | two dumbasses get voluntold into adopting a child

[Well, that has to be one of the oddest dreams Linhardt has had in a long time.

Linhardt winds up waking groggily, as if he hadn't had a single bit of sleep at all last night, and he can only really attempt to ponder what that dream was about. Who was that small child? Her hair was so long and green, with those two unusual braids and eyes that just seemed to stare right through them despite how utterly childish she was. It certainly didn't make taking the words she said seriously, at any rate; the idea that Those who Slither in the Dark would be making some sort of comeback in eight years was certainly a farfetched idea to begin with, but then the child tried to entrust them both with a small girl who simply slept on the ground, and it drove the idea into simple nonsense.

That other child was certainly interesting, though; she looked oddly like a perfect mix between Hubert and himself. He didn't see the color of her eyes, but the color of her hair and the softness of her face were certainly reminiscent of Linhardt, while the minor waves and curls in her hair, along with those bangs over one of her eyes, and her style of dress were reminiscent of Hubert. It was certainly odd, but just as the dream had come, it had vanished.

Linhardt's eyes adjusted to the morning light very slowly, but truly, he was quite ready to go back to sleep for a little while. Still, Linhardt could only imagine that Hubert was awake already, and he winds up gently bringing his face over to give Hubert a good morning kiss, light and chaste.]

Good morning, my love...are you awake?

[Their married life has certainly been an interesting matter to get adjusted to; it's been months now since their marriage, and having Hubert by his side as often as he gets to now is nothing but a delight. Even if they're on business in Enbarr, there's nothing quite like being able to wake up with his delightfully warm husband by his side.

Linhardt is, of course, unaware to the sound of a third person dozing peacefully in the room with them, not even stirring...not quite yet, at least.]

[Dreams are always such a strange experience. It isn't often Hubert dreams - if anything happens while he sleeps, it's usually nightmares - but today is certainly an exception. He remembers the dream when he wakes; the piercing eyes of the girl who requested they look after the child, the strange little girl who looked as though she'd had her appearance plucked straight from Linhardt himself, albeit with hair that curls like his own.

For once, he isn't wide awake before Linhardt, and he's only opening his eyes when Linhardt moves. As usual, there isn't any time between being asleep and being awake; he's asleep one moment and moving the next with no time to adjust between them. The kiss is returned gently, and one of his hands comes up to rest on the side of his husband's face.

No matter how long they're married, he's certain he'll always treasure the sight of Linhardt's face first thing in the morning. Waking up beside the man he loves is a gift nothing can ever compare to.]

I am, yes. I should have been up earlier... [Now that he thinks about it, that is strange. He doesn't usually sleep in this late.] I suppose it was because of a strange dream I had...

[There's movement from the corner of his vision and immediately he snaps his attention to it. His hand moves and his other one pushes him up, readying a spell as he goes. He's always quick to jump into action when need be, but they're in Enbarr - if anyone has managed to make it this far into the castle, then he has bigger concerns to worry about than sleeping in.

Someone has made it this far in, apparently. There's a small girl asleep on a rug near the bed - the movement was certainly from her. The spell dissipates from Hubert's fingers as he stares at her. She's... She's the girl from the dream, isn't she? Not the mildly irritated one who spoke with them, but the girl she said she was entrusting them with for the next eight years.

...It's a coincidence. He's not sure how this child got in here, but perhaps he saw her at some point and his subconscious mind made up the rest. That doesn't explain why he'd allow a strange child to fall asleep in their bedroom; even half-awake (a state he is rarely in) he certainly wouldn't have allowed it.

His eyes go from her and then to Linhardt.]

What is she doing here?

[Maybe Linhardt can shed some light on this.]

[That's certainly a surprise; it's not often that Hubert is still asleep like this. He never usually lets himself sleep in so late, but that kiss is so nice that Linhardt doesn't question it. He lets his face lean into Hubert's touch all too easily.]

If you wanted to stay longer, I wouldn't mind... [...wait, wait. A dream? Linhardt immediately perks at that, speaking up.] Wait, you had one too? How incredibly odd. I had a dream about--

[Hubert sees something and starts to react, and Linhardt's not too far behind--Linhardt's own hand winds up charging a spell in his panic, pushing himself up to lay eyes upon whoever decided to break into the castle and...

Wait. Wait, that's absolutely the girl from the dream. Linhardt's eyes widen and his jaw practically drops. How could a child have gotten past all of the security in the castle and just...decided to fall asleep on their rug like a cat? Linhardt can't even fathom any of this, and he certainly doesn't remember meeting a girl like this before. Even then, how is she here before them?

Linhardt's not even considering whether the dream is true or not. He winds up looking at Hubert incredulously at his question.]

Hubert, I haven't seen this girl before in my life! Well, at least consciously. I certainly didn't decide to let her in...

[He's. He's got nothing, honey.]

...What do we do? We certainly can't just leave her here.

[The girl seems to be stirring a bit in her sleep, and making some kind of noise--is she waking up? Should he be concerned? Linhardt looks to Hubert, as if his husband will have...any idea what to do.......]

Consciously...?

[No, they can talk about that later. The point is that she's entirely too young to be a potential threat, so they should do the sane thing and find her parents. But... how did she get in here? He always locks the door behind him, and he's always the last one in the room. It's possible she knows how to pick locks, but she seems a little young for that...]

No, of course we can't leave her here. Let's... We'll take her to Byleth.

[...That's probably enough of an indication that he has no earthly clue what to do, because Byleth is probably the only person here who has the potential to be worse with a child than Hubert. He does have reasoning for it, though, and he realizes after that's out there that it sounds kind of dumb.]

...They spend most of their time in the castle; it's possible they've seen her around before and know where her parents are.

[He obviously won't bother Her Majesty with this, but it's totally fine to inconvenience their former professor!!]

[...Hubert has no idea what to do either. The two of them are currently stuck with a child, and there's not a single competent person between them who knows what they're doing.

Goddess help them all, if she even exists.]

...That seems like the best idea. Perhaps she's a child of one of the maids and wound up getting lost, but Byleth would know better. We can at least get her back to her parents...

[...]

Should we wake her up, or should we simply carry her to where ever Byleth and hope for the best...?

[why did sothis trust you two with a kid]

[sothis is watching this somewhere and just screaming into her hands]

We should wake her. I doubt she would take kindly to being woken up while being carried.

[She's small enough that he could carry her without a problem, but she's also a child, and children are unpredictable little hellspawn, so he'd probably get bitten or something.]

Do... you want to try waking her or should I?

[...He's pretty sure he is the last person who should try this given everything he is, but it seems rude to try to force Linhardt into it...]

[...Does he have to. Linhardt's still so tired Hubert, you think he's gonna have a better shot at this??? Linhardt groans a bit, shaking his head--]

...Let me try. If she doesn't, then I'm certain you will be able to wake her.

[Just let him get on his slippers and button up his nightshirt, then, before he goes to attempt this. Of course, Linhardt being the patron saint of tact, he's just gonna try shaking her shoulder until she wakes up--]

Come on now, wake up. You really are not supposed to be in here, you know...

["Mmph..."

The girl audibly stirs as if woken out of a deep sleep, her eyes starting to lazily open, and...well, okay, there's a nice set of yellow eyes drowsily staring at him as the girl stretches, yawning and gently propping herself up to look at Linhardt.

"Oh, good morning."

...How can she sound so calm and yet look like she has no idea where she is. The confusion is palpable and Linhardt's looking over at Hubert with a bit of a desperate expression. Help?? Oh dear goddess he has no idea what to do with this.]

[While Linhardt gets up and goes to wake the girl up, Hubert fixes his hair and straightens his clothes a bit as if to appear more presentable, though that's... not exactly possible in his night clothes... It's fine, she's just a kid, she won't care.

He watches as she props herself up and seems entirely unconcerned about all of this. She must have come in here on her own then, right? Anyway, Linhardt's looking to him for help, so Hubert sighs and moves to kneel beside his husband.]

Did you come in here at some point last night or this morning?

[...Uh, wait, maybe that's not the best question to be asking, hang on—]

Do you know where your parents are? We can take you to them.

["Mm... Nope." She says, entirely uncaring.

Now that he's getting a better look at her... She really does look exactly like the girl from the dream. And her hair and eye color...

It's just a bizarre coincidence. There's an explanation for this somewhere, but that doesn't particularly matter right now. It's his turn to look at Linhardt now, just as lost and confused on what to do as his husband.]

[they're just gonna be playing responsibility ping-pong this entire thread, aren't they...

Linhardt is honestly starting to get a little bit concerned, especially when she replies that she doesn't know where her parents are. That's. Concerning, honestly? That's really damn concerning, um.

Oh goddess above, why is Hubert looking to him, uh, hang on, he can salvage this--]

Do you have a caretaker around here somewhere, then?

["Nope."

...He should have expected that answer, and now the girl is just looking between them both and Linhardt has no idea what to do with just how calm she is about this.]

How did you get in here, then?

["I don't remember." She says, and that devil-may-care sort of attitude fades for a moment as she tries to think. She winds up shaking her head, though, and Linhardt's even more concerned now.

Uh, Hubert? Your turn.]

[Well, all of this is going great, isn't it.]

What is your name?

[He asks it because it's the first thing to come to mind, but he has a sneaking suspicion that—

"I don't know." She looks a bit confused by that, but still not remotely bothered.

Looks like he was right, then. Hubert leans over to Linhardt.]

It might be amnesia. Perhaps she hit her head.

[Not that she's really showing any signs of it, but who knows. Concussions are weird. He returns his attention to her.]

Will you accompany us to see our friend, Byleth?

["Okay." She seems perfectly fine with that, and rubs the last bit of sleep from her eyes before standing and looking at them expectantly. She's already dressed at least, but...]

I... We'll need a moment. Can you wait by the door?

[She nods and heads on over and Hubert gestures for Linhardt to take the bathroom first so he can change in there. This is awkward?? This is so awkward.]

[...She doesn't even remember her own name. It's as if this girl has just woken up fully formed, literally thrown into their world with nothing but the clothes on her back.

Linhardt is really starting to hope that dream wasn't actually reality, at this point, but Hubert brings up that it could be amnesia and that's...concerning. Should he check her head for injuries? He's not experienced enough with faith magic to jog them, but--]

That does seem likely...

[Linhardt's words are quiet as Hubert talks to the girl, getting her to agree to see Byleth and at least nodding his head to regard the girl before following Hubert into the bathroom with haste, closing the door behind them and--]

You know, in all of my years of training in faith magic, the books have never brought up such a total case of amnesia...even from hitting one's head so hard, she should have some memories. But this...

[Well, it's concerning. Linhardt's expression goes contemplative.]

What do you make of it?

Edited 2019-10-24 03:51 (UTC)

I haven't heard of such a thing before either, but I'm not sure what else it could be.

[She could be lying, but children usually aren't very good at that. She's not young enough to misunderstand the questions either. No, amnesia is the only thing that makes sense, right?

Anyway, he'll get changed while they talk; he doesn't like the idea of leaving her out there alone, even though he doubts she'll manage to injure herself or destroy anything of theirs in such a short amount of time.]

Admittedly, I don't recall anyone who works here with green hair. It's certainly possible that there's a new hire I'm unaware of, but usually Her Majesty informs me of such things...

[Because as always, Hubert is exceptionally cautious, even when he's staying at the Hevring estate.]

But she must be someone's child. What other option is there?

[The dream is still in the forefront of his mind, but he is certainly not going to consider that.]

[Linhardt changes as well while he mulls all of that over; such a strange situation is not something that Linhardt wanted to deal with when he first woke up this morning. But really, who is he to complain? This may as well happen to them. Weirder things have, after all, and even if she's not anyone from the castle's child, he is at least a little worried for her sake. She could be a homeless child, but really, she looks too properly dressed for such a thing--

But...well, that isn't their only option. Linhardt buttons up his shirt as he looks back to Hubert.]

I do not either, but I do not know the staff as well as you do. Unless she came from an entirely new hire and hit her head along the way...but such a thing seems like an utter impossibility.

[...]

Hubert, I need to ask you to humor me for a moment. [Linhardt doubts that this is the case, really, he does, but--] What did you dream about last night? It's...well, very possibly not relevant, but I must ask none the less.

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