sranks | we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

...It truly does not. Or perhaps...well, it's because of these injuries. But you are not wrong in the first assumption.

[And that much is...honestly, it's the truth. Camilla is usually pretty good at lying, at deflecting her problems, but this is her telling the truth.]

I'm always afraid of something happening to you, my lord; this is simply the way that I have always been, in regards to such things. That an injury like this happening to me...it only serves to prove how much I still have to learn, and how those fears could be realized easily. If that were an enemy that had come for your head, you would have been left to face such a thing alone. And if something happened...

[Well. She's already gone over that.]

...You always take on so much work for yourself, as well. It makes me worry as well, and I do wish that you would allow me to lighten that burden of yours more.

[...As if she doesn't already??? Good lord, Camilla.

Man, that talk with Hubert is...bringing a lot of her own thoughts to the surface, isn't it. Camilla's expression has remained calm, her words soft and even, despite all that she says. It's that ever practiced elegance, but it is something that's been on her mind.]

[Lorenz listens, though it's really difficult to hear Camilla speak as though she doesn't help him enough. Is there any way to convince her she does...?]

I understand your concern, and it is valid. I have chosen to pursue reason magic, which does make me an easier target, should someone get close enough. But you sell yourself short - we are still learning, and some mistakes are bound to be made. I have no doubts that had I been in serious danger, you would have flown to my side in an instant to protect me.

Your injuries are not a concern because I find you lacking - far from it! Your injuries are a concern because I care for you, and I do not like seeing you hurt. I know you will always do what you can to look out for me, and I understand that you likely will be hurt in that endeavor. But please... allow me to worry about you sometimes. I fear I would become a truly horrid excuse for a noble if I were to stop caring about your well-being.

Lord Lorenz--

[Frustration seeps into Camilla's tone as she listens to him, and she can't help but feel like either she's missing something or he is, because that's not--]

Forgive me, my lord, for my words may come harsh, but...must you sound so utterly debonair about something like this?

[She's not sure why this is hitting her so hard, but the fact of the matter is that it frustrates Camilla deeply, because he's the sole reason she's here, that she feels she has a future. She's devoted everything to him, and to think that he can speak of such things so lightly just makes her sick.]

I certainly would have come to your aid in an instant, injuries be all but damned, but I...that isn't something to make light of!

[...Ah. Shoot, she's--Lorenz can likely hear Camilla shift a bit, an almost angry noise escaping her as she winds up sitting with her back pressed against the door. How unseemly of her...]

...That was...out of turn, my lord. You have my apologies.

[Her mind goes back to that incident, years ago, with that member of House Vestra sneaking about--so close to the bedchambers, and she had silenced them personally, and he likely has never known just how far she would be willing to go to see him safe. How far she has gone.

Lorenz can never know. Camilla shifts a little more, and her tone is back to normal when she speaks again.]

I know that you care, my lord, truly I do. And you could never become such a hideous noble, and it is not...caring for me that I mind. Truly, it's nice to have someone who does.

[Even if Lorenz is one of the few, as far as Camilla knows. That's just the way it's always been.]

But I care for you as well, and I simply want to do everything that I can for you. I suppose it is...simply frustrating, because I truly never have liked staying idle. I've worked through many a sickness and even my own injuries back in House Gloucester, and now is no different...it is simply something that I cannot do.

[...She wonders if he knows just how much she's neglected herself for his sake, honestly.]

[Camilla is not one to lose her temper. Even when Professor Hanneman was chasing her around, she never once let that smile slip. He has no doubts that very little can actually get much of a reaction out of her, and yet this...

He's miscalculated, said the exact wrong thing, and in all honesty, Lorenz isn't really sure how to approach this.

He remains silent as she speaks, still struggling with whatever Claude has done to this poor chair. He looks up when he hears her back hit the door and once again he finds he's glad that it stands between them. He doesn't know how to compose his expression and he's sure she doesn't either.]

...I am truly sorry for how you've been treated since you arrived at House Gloucester.

[That's not exactly what he wants to say, but it's a good starting point. He doesn't know the extent of what she's been through. He doesn't even know all she's been through in service of his house. But she's being open about it, at least about the fact that the others don't treat her as they should.

Though really, he's not entirely sure what the proper way to treat her is. It's something he's been conflicted on since he learned about her crest and her ties to their house. Even now he isn't sure he's always being appropriate with her, but Camilla is... well, as much as his father wants him to deny it, she's family. She may be a servant and they can't be open about their familial relation, but that doesn't change the fact that they are family.]

You also have my apologies for upsetting you and for... treating this too lightly, I believe. I understand that there are a great many things you would do for me. I wouldn't be surprised if you gave up on sleep entirely were it were possible! I have always admired your dedication, and your determination to serve me to the best of your ability is something I can rely on.

[He frowns; another click from something, but the door doesn't budge when he pulls on it.]

...What can I do to help you, Camilla? Perhaps that is a better way to approach this.

...What?

[Ohhhh, hang on, there's worry entering her tone, and she winds up turning around so she can...well, she doesn't know where or what Lorenz is working on at this point, but she shifts, and she turns to face the door.]

No, Lord Lorenz, that...that is fine? You needn't be sorry. I accepted that when I entered that territory with but a letter from Mother to prove who I was, that I would need to accept whatever treatment came with it. [...] All be told, I never expected to be much more than a simple servant. To be in your service alone was more than I could have expected.

[...That's probably not helping matters any--but Camilla's tone is composed when she says that. Honestly, it's better than the alternative? But the only alternative to that would have just been wandering all of Fódlan as a homeless orphan, and that would've been unthinkable.

But really, Lorenz isn't wrong. He really isn't, and there's a certain amount of warmth in her tone when she speaks again.]

Of course I would give up even sleep. I would give anything for your sake, no matter how high the cost.

[But...that question...well, the answer seems simple enough to Camilla--even if she jumps a bit when something else clicks, but she answers easily.]

Allow me to assist you more; let me lighten the burden on your shoulders some. I need nothing more in my life than to serve you at my utmost, and ensure that your future is a bright one. I don't need any more than that. I want to ensure that you don't waste your time on menial things, that I could very well take care of for you, so that you may flourish.

That is all I have ever wanted. To ask for anything more would be unthinkable, for a servant like me, and I would never dream of such a thing.

[It's so simple, to her. But then again, her worldview since entering House Gloucester has always been quite simple.]

[Once again, he finds himself glad that the door stands between them. He knows she wouldn't want pity or sympathy, but her situation... it truly was horrible, and being accepted into the house only to be treated as a servant...

Well, he supposes that's all House Gloucester really could do, but even still, it frustrates him.

Another click, but still nothing is budging just yet.]

Camilla... [He trails off, considering his words.] Very well. If you would like more work, I will certainly find more that you can do to assist me.

But I would request something from you: please be careful not to overwork yourself, especially while recovering. I would be devastated if my requests led you to getting ill or worsening your injuries.

I want you to be happy. You are my retainer and servant and an exemplary part of House Gloucester's service, but that does not mean that you should neglect your own happiness to pursue mine. I think of you as a friend, and I always will. I am certainly not opposed to letting you help me, as our positions dictate, and since this is what will make you happy, I'll certainly comply. But please do not mistake me for only your lord. I am your friend as well.

[Another click, and this time the door actually starts to move.]

Oh, I think I've almost got it...!

[maybe by next tag he'll have it...]

[Honestly, she could have lived with that first point alone. That Lord Lorenz was willing to trust her with more work should have been good enough, and it would allow Camilla to prove herself and her mettle as a servant. She'd continue to work, and that would simply be that. It's all she could have ever asked for.

But then there's that second portion, and perhaps she can understand that--she would be most useless if she got sick or her injuries became permanent, but...

Well.]

Your...friend?

[The words escape Camilla in an almost awed tone, as if she couldn't believe what she just heard. Really, every last bit of those words that Lorenz said felt strange in a way she couldn't place, but those words right there gave the most confusion. How could a lord and a servant be friends? That's not only improper (from all Camilla knows), but it feels as if they've gone beyond their roles here, and...

...

Honestly, Camilla can't say she minds entirely, even if she honestly sounds dumbfounded. She's certainly teased people about being her friends, or friendly towards her, but to hear it so brazenly and boldly from her lord is something else. She's glad the door is still between them, because she's not sure what the hell her face is doing but it's certainly doing something.]

I--yes, Lord Lorenz. That is...all of that is acceptable, yes.

[Hang on, Camilla is still hard-rebooting from the sheer magnitude of all of that--]

I shall...heed your requests, and I thank you for your kind words. I shall endeavor to excel...

[...]

My lord...and my dear friend.

[That comes...only somewhat easily, really, but Camilla does find herself smiling. Moreso when she hears that door click, and she seems so happy and more than willing to push her malfunctioning feelings back into place--]

Ah, most excellent! Not that I would expect any less from you!

[The hesitance in her words and the long pause afterwards is certainly a bit concerning. Lorenz doesn't interrupt though, hard at work on getting the last of this mess fixed. He's very close, after all, and he should let Camilla take her time to sort through all of that.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't relieved when she returns that, and his exhale is admittedly a bit closer to a sigh than he'd like.]

Thank you, Camilla. I'm pleased to hear it.

[And with a final click the door starts to move and there's a sound of a chair scraping against the floor as it's pushed away.]

There we go! I knew I could figure it out eventually! You have my apologies for it taking so long, I'm not sure what Claude did to get it secured quite like that...

[Lorenz stands and gets the door. He's smiling, and the expression is bright and open.]

[Camilla chuckles a bit, honestly. She's...still trying, honestly, to not be so thrown off by these things, but it's still very difficult. She's glad that Lorenz is understanding, at any rate.

When he manages to open the door, he'll hear Camilla clapping from the other side before he opens the door, and Camilla steps out with her own bright smile on her face. For once, it's unrestrained; she doesn't think to restrain it, because she's incredibly pleased to both be saved and to be able to call Lorenz her friend...

Friend. That's still going to be an odd word to get used to.]

I would expect nothing less of you, Lord Lorenz. Not even our most crafty of individuals could possibly stand up to your superior intellect.

[Camilla bows easily, her hands folded in front of her in a respectful motion, before she comes back up and chuckles.]

I couldn't be more thankful to you, for freeing me from such a predicament. Truly, you needn't apologize. [As far as she's concerned, he's gone above and beyond for her.] All be told, I owe you a debt of gratitude, my lord. Shall I prepare something for you?

I will concede that Claude's rather bizarre design was extremely effective, but of course I was able to defeat it eventually!

[oh my god

Anyway, he nods at that, somehow even looking more pleased after seeing Camilla's bright expression.]

I would appreciate it if you could prepare us some tea. Would you like me to accompany you, or would you prefer to meet me in my room?

[He doesn't want to insist on going with her in case she'd like a moment to herself, but he offers it anyway.]

Nothing could ever prove too troublesome for you, my lord. But I truly ought to make good on that threat to throw Claude into the pond...

[...Camilla is only slightly joking. She still kind of wants to because Claude is a shithead and she's gonna kick his ass, but not unless Lorenz gives the order.

But Camilla does think for a moment, before deciding on a course of action.]

Of course, consider it done. I shall meet you in your room, then, my lord. [...She does kind of want a moment to compose herself, but she doesn't want to say anything--Lorenz hasn't done anything wrong, Camilla just. Needs to get her malfunctioning feelings in order.] I do trust that you have eaten already? If not, I can prepare something for both you and I--I am feeling quite famished, after all.

[because some asshole didn't consider that maybe she'd need to eat!!!]

...I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he didn't bring you anything to eat...

[Huff!!!]

Please feel free to throw him in the pond the next chance you get. It's precisely what he deserves.

[rip in fuck claude]

But of course, please take your time. I will see you whenever you've prepared the tea.

[He's glad that Camilla's doing okay, but he's sure she'll be feeling better once she's had time to decompress from... all of that, really. That was sort of a lot. With that, and a nod, Lorenz takes his leave.]

[...Lorenz you just said the magic words.]

Oh, thank you, my lord! I shall do so gladly!

[REST IN FUCKING PIECES, CLAUDE]

Ehem--ah, yes, my lord. I shall do so gladly. Do allow me a little bit of time.

[And with that she is...absolutely off, holy shit. Camilla absolutely has some business to take care of, and she will take at least a half hour or so to ensure that business is taken care of! Perfectly legitimate business, nothing wrong here, absolutely nothing--

By the time she knocks her usual knock on Lorenz's door again with the tea, Camilla has an all too vindicated smile on her face, and her clothing is...well, a little wrinkly and a tiny bit damp, like she's just finished wringing it out a little bit. But she can assure her lord it was worth it!]

Lord Lorenz, I've brought your tea!

[...Even from her voice at the door, she sounds entirely too pleased.]

[He's not surprised that it takes her a bit, and he's definitely not surprised by the vindicated look as he opens the door and lets her in.]

I do hope he didn't put up too much of a fight. Though I suppose it wouldn't be as satisfying if he went willingly...

[He gestures to the small table and takes his usual seat, trying to suppress the smirk he wants to give.]

Please, tell me all about it!

[Camilla will gladly come in, then, setting the tray on the table all nice and neat; she's got some Meat Pie because she is nothing if not ravenous, and she looks at him with a small, budding smirk on her own face.]

You'll be quite pleased to know that he did put up a bit of a fight. Really, when he saw me coming to the dock, he seemed utterly shocked...I don't think he was expecting you to be able to free me, at least for a while! I'm quite certain he knew he was in trouble the very second he saw me walking down towards him. He didn't try to greet me, or do anything but run when it was clear I was coming after him.

But, I did manage to catch him. Without any...well, awake witnesses, at any rate. You should have heard him trying to barter with me--as if I could truly be stopped. It was simply a matter of, at that point, ensuring he didn't wriggle free...but he didn't. And I got to chuck him into that pond with no one being the wiser for it.

[Camilla's all finished pouring out her lord's tea by the time she's done with the story, but she is all too pleased, practically smirking herself.]

I told him to take a nice, long soak, and reflect on what he's done to deserve this. And I'm sure he won't forget that anytime soon.

[Lorenz allows her to work and speak without interrupting, though his smirk grows with each passing word. It's unbecoming of a noble to laugh at something like that, but Lorenz does anyway because Claude absolutely deserves it.]

I've no doubts that that will teach him a lesson! He should know better than to come between us.

[It's also unbecoming of a noble to openly gloat, but he figures he can get away with that for just a moment before settling again.]

You have my thanks for the tea, of course. Ah, it smells delightful...

[Camilla is more than happy to laugh with her lord, more than here for his gloating and his utterly unbecoming behavior. She can absolutely keep it a secret for sure!]

Oh, he should. And if he didn't before, he's certainly learned that now, my lord.

[...It's probably even more unbecoming for Camilla to be so pleased with this but listen, she's been wanting to do that for months.]

It's no trouble, my lord. I'm always happy to provide. [She's just going to start getting into her lunch, honestly, she is starving--] Other than that little...adventure, shall we say, may I ask how my lord fares on this fine day? I do hope nothing is amiss.

[honestly fair, who hasn't wanted to toss claude into the pond??]

Oh. Ah...

[He pauses, teacup raised halfway to his lips before he sets it back down. Primly. This would probably be better if he wasn't looking everywhere but at Camilla.]

My day was... mostly fine. Until that incident with the door - I'm still not really sure how Claude managed to rig all that up...

[...Camilla isn't going to let him get away with that and he knows it, so he sighs and presses on. It's unbecoming of him to avoid the problem, after all.]

Earlier I had a... discussion with Linhardt, about his insistence on pestering you. While I do believe we have come to an understanding of sorts, I must admit it was not... my finest hour.

[...]

I may have punched him.

[...It's not like her lord to get so nervous talking about his day. Really, if Camilla's mouth were not full (she's hungry, delicate bites are out of the question at this point--), she'd have interrupted him but her look is still very attentive, as though she is listening.

And she's certainly giving him a look when he mentions that it was mostly fine. She's more than ready to ask who exactly made his day not fine, but he moves quickly to the actual problem and...

...Well, that's--okay, let her get everything down first, but while Camilla isn't surprised that he confronted Linhardt on her behalf--]

Punched him? You punched him?

[...SHE'LL APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO INCREDULOUS IN A BIT, BUT WHAT. Hang on, hang on, she remembers seeing him asleep face down in his pillow at the docks but--]

...You made sure there were no witnesses, I hope? [PRIORITIES??? Camilla does seem concerned--] Goodness. I'm sure it will be fine--that man doesn't seem to care about much, at any rate, and I doubt he would dare speak of this against you...

It wasn't as though I intended to punch him! I am not some uncouth street brawler!

[good thing too, given how badly you suck at it]

Our conversation got... rather heated and I lost my composure for a moment. It was dreadfully embarrassing.

[He's turning bright red at the mere memory of it, okay...]

I do believe we reached an understanding, however. Should he continue to pester you, do let me know and I will take the matter to Seteth.

[Gods, Camilla is actively trying to make sure she doesn't choke here?]

I'm hardly judging for such a thing, my lord. If someone needs to be punched, then they ought to be; it's as simple as that. You could never be uncouth, my lord.

[camilla you fight people for fun, you don't get to talk like that

Still, Camilla listens and...well, quite frankly she looks quite like she wants to go out there and throw Linhardt in the pond. Her voice goes gentle, though.]

Of course, my lord. I will do such a thing gladly; I will not allow some dreadful man like him to attempt to ruin your family's good name.

[She'd kill him, really, and the thought of that should disgust her more than it does. It's not like he'd be missed; he's just a lazy brat of a noble who needs a wake up call, as far as she's concerned.]

What did he say to you?

[...Yeah, her tone is serious as hell at that. Does she need to pound him?]

[...Sometimes, Camilla is truly terrifying...]

He was adamant that a crest you may or may not possess would be worth researching and refused to back off on such a notion. It was highly rude - he was more than willing to get involved in affairs that are not his to insist on studying.

...I believe what made me... lose my temper in such an undignified way was how he was treating it. It was as though he thought you were nothing more than an experiment, something he should study and research and not a person. He had no care for your feelings or thoughts on the matter, only interested in what he could possibly learn.

I'm a bit surprised he's a noble, given just how unbecoming his pursuit of that knowledge was.

[He huffs a bit, but then settles.]

As I said, I do believe we've reached an understanding. I am still irritated with him, certainly, but I see no reason to pursue this any further. Should he continue to pester you, I will seek more drastic measures.

[maybe you can throw him in the pond then!!]

[She really is.........

Camilla absolutely listens, though, and even if she has a smile on her face...it's a tight smile. Needless to say, he's even worse than she thought, and that he could provoke her lord into hostilities by simply being aggressively himself--disregarding her like she was some sort of thing, and disregarding Lord Lorenz's feelings on the matter? Unforgivable.]

What a cur. That boy is nothing but a poor example to nobility everywhere, and a rude brat at that. He doesn't know the first thing about caring for anyone, much less treating people like human beings...

[Camilla takes a sip of tea to calm herself, before nodding her head at last.]

...Thank you, Lord Lorenz. For standing up for me so. I know such actions were not proper by any means, and as your servant, I should scold you, but...as your friend, it means very much to me that you would go beyond measure to do such a thing.

I do hope he has learned his lesson, however.

That is my hope as well.

And you needn't worry about scolding me, I doubt it possible for me to be more ashamed of my actions... Truly, I will need to spend quite some time reflecting on my position and duties as a noble. One should not let their emotions get the best of them and lash out in anger! Such a mistake is unthinkable...

[He sighs and takes a sip of tea, as if to steady himself.]

With that said, though, I cannot find fault in being supremely annoyed by his words. Though my actions were wrong, it isn't as though he was in the right for insulting you in such a way. I know you worry for me, but I promise you, I will not make any missteps like this again. I will learn to better control my temper.

[He doesn't usually have that much of one, anyway...]

[...It's good that he has the decency to be ashamed, but Camilla does worry that he's taking that far too much to heart. Then again, she knows better than anyone that Lord Lorenz is a perfectionist; he expects nothing less than that from himself. Nobility always does that...]

You shouldn't find fault in that. Linhardt could truly stand to learn some empathy for the people around him, instead of single-mindedly pursuing his own interests. Really, I fear what sort of things he could say to many of our other alumni, if he knew about them...

[Marianne, for starters. She doesn't have a crest as far as Camilla knows, but that girl hides herself away so much that she's likely gained some interest. To say nothing of Lysithea, who Camilla does worry over--white hair like that doesn't come naturally...

Deplorable. He's utterly deplorable.]

I know you will make no such mistakes again, my lord. You're not one who's temper runs very hot, to begin with; you have mastered keeping your head cool, in any situation.

So please...do not lose heart, my lord. Reflect upon it, but do not let it consume you.

[Camilla almost wants to reach out and pat his head again, in response to that--she's thankful that she doesn't, because she's occupied with her food and drink, but...this isn't so bad, really.]

Let us not focus on such...dreadful subjects, any longer. I think we've had enough doom and gloom to last us quite some time--would you not agree?

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