sranks | we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

[He listens intently, filing the information away for later. He can double check it, but he's already sure there won't be any way to verify it. She wouldn't tell him this much if it could be used against her. She's also vague about how she arrived, but that's not a surprise. She doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him, which... would actually be pretty far, given her strength.

Anyway, she continues, and he finds that while her sentiments are incredibly familiar, the words themselves are not. It's strange to think about.]

No apologies necessary. It isn't often I find someone who [understands] feels the same sense of loyalty. Lorenz is lucky to have you.

[The praise leaves him easily, with no rude follow-up. Not that he lets it linger for long, however.]

You do seem to be enjoying your stay here.

[It's an invitation for her to keep talking, without actually posing a question.]

[Camilla's chuckle is rather genuine, and she nods her head at his words. She more than agrees with them, really; perhaps it is a touch arrogant to think that Lord Lorenz is lucky to have her, but the sentiment isn't lost on her. But that bit about loyalty...that's actually sweet, coming from him.

Of course, he doesn't let that linger for long, and he grants her an invitation to talk. And Camilla doesn't mind doing that much.]

Oh, I truly am. There is much to learn in this monastery, many things to see and do...I have been able to learn all sorts of things that I shall take back to the Gloucester manor once my lord and I have graduated. All manner of combat, tactical ability, animal care, every last bit of it...

My lord will likely choose someone suitable for marriage as well once we are done, and with such knowledge in hand, I shall serve them both for the rest of my days.

[Because that is the future Camilla sees for herself. There's really nothing she wants more, because the idea of confronting a future on her own, when she's relied on people so much in her life...it's scary, and she doesn't want to confront it.

(Though the thought of leaving some of the friends she's made here leaves a lingering, minor pain in her heart as well, but that's something Camilla has long accepted.)]

...You seem to be as well, Lord Hubert. [Camilla invites him to do the same. Though, she admits she hasn't seen nearly as much of him as he's done of her.] Would I be correct in assuming that?

Edited (WORDING...) 2019-10-05 23:20 (UTC)

[It's strange to hear her talk of graduation, of the life she believes she'll lead after all this is over. It's certainly possible that all that will come to pass despite what Lady Edelgard has planned, but it isn't likely. Her Highness will sweep all of Fódlan into a war, and when she is done, the ideals of the old nobility will have crumbled. It won't be immediate - change never is - but Camilla's life certainly won't be exactly as she thinks right now.

He finds it strange. It certainly isn't an unpleasant thought, given how much of his life he has devoted to Lady Edelgard and her plans, but he wonders where she'll end up. House Gloucester does have ties to the Empire, but there's no telling if they will openly side with them when war breaks out. Camilla and Lorenz could easily die in the struggle. Normally he wouldn't care, but it gives him pause for a moment today.

It's most likely because of how friendly everyone's been tonight. It won't matter much by tomorrow.]

I've been able to learn quite a bit since coming here. [He pushes those thoughts away to focus on her question.] The library's collection is fascinating, and the instruction I've received has been beneficial.

[...That sure is a way to say "I really like learning more about how to fight" but it's Hubert, what were you expecting.]

[...Hubert, honey. Camilla chuckles briefly at that.]

That's all well and good, but saying it like that makes you sound incredibly detached from your own enjoyment...

[It's at least slightly joking, but there is a shade of genuineness to it.]

But I suppose I can understand that. If you like to read and fight, then that isn't a bad thing. It keeps your body and mind active.

[...well. I mean.]

Precisely. All the better to serve Lady Edelgard.

[Quite literally! He has done so much research for her since arriving...]

But of course, I don't have to tell you that. I'm certain you feel the same way.

[If Camilla were a sane person, she'd likely call him out on how such a mindset seems...pretty damn self destructive.

On the other hand, though, that implies Camilla is sane at all. No, if anything, Camilla nods her head in agreement with Hubert.]

You would be quite right. I'm afraid I do not have nearly as much of a taste for reading as you, but I do understand the sentiment. One must be in the best possible shape in order to keep those they are tasked to protect safe.

[...Though, in hindsight, and it gets Camilla to pout a bit--]

I do wish my lord would allow me to assist him more, however. He's always insisting upon taking certain tasks for himself, and I do worry much about him...I wouldn't forgive myself if I allowed him to be overworked, and yet...

[camilla. honey. i think everyone and their mother would say you do enough??? maybe lorenz is trying to get you to slow your roll and enjoy life???]

[Oh, Camilla. You are talking to exactly the wrong person about this.]

Lady Edelgard is like that as well. If there is a task she believes she can complete, she will always attempt to handle it herself first. It doesn't matter how many times I try to encourage her to pass those tasks on to me, she insists on doing as much as she can.

[The words are even, though the tightness in his expression is certainly enough to gather just how much it annoys him.]

I'm not surprised to hear your lord is the same way. It is unfortunate, but there's little that can be done when they've set their minds on something.

[...Or maybe he's the best person to talk to about this, take your pick.]

[dear gods this may have been a mistake, they're just an echo chamber for one another's bullshit]

Is she? Oh dear...that is very worrying. [Camilla's own expression seems to be sympathetic, but in a way that's more empathetic than anything; she completely understands.] It's as if neither of them know just what we're here for. We are here to serve them, and they shouldn't take on so much in the first place. Why, I'd wager that they're both liable to work themselves to exhaustion...

[But Hubert does have a point. As much as she doesn't like it, really, but she's not cross when she acquiesces.]

That is true. My lord is exceedingly stubborn on such matters, and I can only dare guess how Her Highness is in regards to such things...you have my empathy toward such matters.

[jesus christmas who let these two talk]

I would hope that your lord is able to rely on you more in the future, but if my service to Lady Edelgard is any indication, it won't happen. She tends to believe that I require breaks, and will do her best not to have me go out of my way for her.

["she treats me like I'm a person, how rude"]

Of course, Lady Edelgard and your lord are not the same person, so I'm certain there are plenty of differences. [hahaha boy are there] Still, I'm not surprised we have some common ground in our service.

She does that as well? [Camilla's hand comes up in front of her, though it hides the slightly stern expression behind that hand.] Lord Lorenz is much the same. Truly, he's likely going to be worse about it now that I'm injured...but I am more than capable of doing what needs to be done, and more. Breaks are simply time that could be well spent on another task...

[oh my god you two???]

Oh, they are. I am certain of that. [Camilla shakes her head a bit.] And I am not surprised either. It is truly a shame that stubbornness is a common trait among them, in such a regard...

It's frustrating not to be able to serve to the best of my ability because she insists on doing so much herself. It's been that way since we were children, and nothing I say or do will ever change her mind. I've accepted this, but that doesn't make it any less irritating.

[It's perhaps the most candid he's ever been about his service to Lady Edelgard. He can't really say he minds it, as strange as it feels to be open about this.]

Of course, from the sound of it, you've experienced something very similar.

[oh my god finally, someone who understands...]

Indeed, I have. I realize this is because he is expected to succeed His Grace and lead House Gloucester, but it is frustrating. I've certainly tried to change his mind many a time as well, and yet, each and every time...

[Camilla sighs a bit, though she does smile a touch.]

...Still, I suppose it is a bit of a charming aspect of them. It certainly spells good things for the future, if they are both working so hard as it stands. [And Camilla does mean that. Though, she does look towards Hubert and lower her hand a bit, folding them in front of her.] I am quite glad to talk with someone who understands this situation most intimately. I'm certain none of the others would even come close to understanding what sort of frustration this would cause, and just how much our lieges matter to us.

[That's perhaps a presumptuous and almost arrogant suggestion, but it is pretty genuine. Camilla may like to lavish with praises and the like, but she always means what she says, and this is no different.]

It does. I have no doubt a bright future awaits them.

[...Well, one of them, at least. Lorenz's future depends on what House Gloucester decides to do. He's content to move on then, not exactly eager to continue talking about a future that Camilla can't begin to imagine right now.]

I have had the unfortunate experience of attempting to explain my loyalty and actions for Lady Edelgard to others; it never goes well. This is a position most people cannot seem to understand. Even others in a similar position do not always agree.

[Dedue's a good example. He's loyal, certainly, but he's more of a lapdog than anything else. He follows every order without complaint, but he never thinks outside those orders. Attempting to discuss such a thing with him would be a waste of time.

Camilla, on the other hand, does seem to understand. She seems like she would go just as far as he does for Lady Edelgard, though he can't say that for certain. He doubts she's ever been in a position where disobeying her lord's direct order would be more beneficial to him. Still, it's... nice to have someone who gets it, at least a bit.]

[Camilla nods her head in agreement. It's easy to agree, because they want similar things for their lieges. It's as simple as that, at least to Camilla. As far as she knows, the future will be bright.

Of course, Camilla listens as Hubert talks about explaining his loyalty, and that does get Camilla to shift a bit. It's not out of anything bad; if anything, it does make sense.]

...What a shame, really. Such dedication is what other servants should aspire towards.

[Camilla wonders, inwardly...would he be willing to kill for Edelgard? Surely, there was a reason one of House Vestra's men was sent to the Gloucester estate, if not to kill, than at least to spy for a potential future kill. The blood on Camilla's hands from that was justified, as far as she was concerned; she defended her lord and His Grace. It's a simple matter.

But that's probably not a subject to get into for the feast. Not really, at least, even if she probably should clarify that it's nothing personal...

...]

Not everyone understands that a servant must be willing to go above and beyond the call of duty, if they wish to keep their liege safe. Even if it's something that their liege won't think of doing.

[That's gentler, but it's perhaps surprisingly honest.]

Edited (...let's go with this wording instead) 2019-10-06 23:55 (UTC)

Some can only see what is directly in front of them. A direct threat to one's lord is easier to take on than potential threats hiding in the shadows.

[That's what the difference is, as far as he's concerned. Planning and preparing for the worst case scenario doesn't come naturally so some people. It might not have been second-nature for him if he wasn't trained into it.]

Being able to see what needs to be done for one's lord is not as simple as listening to their orders and following their instructions. An inexperienced retainer might not realize that.

[Camilla has been at this for quite some time as well, though he has no idea what her training was like. Regardless, she has the passion required to handle such matters well - or at least better than most retainers he's seen.]

It certainly is. There's no denying that. And a direct threat is far easier to...take care of, so to speak.

[Camilla's tone is gentle, and not betraying anything as she continues.]

A good retainer must be proactive at dealing with threats. Whether their lord realizes that such things are threats or not. Sometimes, perhaps...it's better to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission.

[...]

It is getting rather late, isn't it?

[Camilla's tone doesn't change at all, but that admission...well, it was perhaps a bit too honest. But she doesn't appear perturbed by what she's admitted, at any rate. What she's said was clearly intentional, rather than a slip, and she turns to smile at Hubert, kindly as ever with no hint of malice at all.]

[Hmm. Perhaps he's said too much. In a way, it almost feels like he hasn't said enough when she calls him on it, but he nods at her words anyway. There isn't anything in his words or expression to further damn him.]

It is. I need to return to Lady Edelgard's side.

[After a moment of consideration, he rests a hand on his chest and folds one behind his back before ducking into a bow.]

Thank you for the challenge today. I do hope to face you again soon.

[Camilla gives Hubert a curtsy in kind--it's a little wobbly, and Camilla curses herself inwardly for agitating her injuries, but she comes up pretty easily.]

Of course. I look forward to it as well. I have no intention of holding back when we spar, so do be sure to bring your very best.

[Camilla starts to walk at that, but she only gets a few steps before she pauses, turning to face him again.]

And... [...] For any past transgressions, against you and yours...I do apologize for them. I was only acting in the best interests of my lord. It was nothing personal at all.

I simply thought you should know that.

[Camilla will at least try to walk off at that--she's regretting not doing so earlier because she does feel a little out of sorts now, but she should be fine.]

[He watches her wobble through her curtsy, but makes no move to assist. If she falls, he'll help, but he doesn't think she will. She won't allow herself to.

He's content to let her go, so when she turns back and apologizes... Honestly, he's not sure what to make of it. He already knew it was nothing personal, but the fact that she's gone out of her way to apologize is... very strange. He isn't sure what to do with it.

Part of him wants to call her back, to confirm that it wasn't anything personal from House Vestra's side either. He doesn't; it isn't something she needs to know, and more importantly, it isn't information he should be giving so freely.

How strange, that a simple understanding could bring him so close to spilling even one unimportant secret.]

we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject