sranks | we've been wandering in the dark

we've been wandering in the dark

[It's been two weeks since Shigure first came in to check on Mitama, to see if she was actually doing work in the stables. Since that day, he's found time in his schedule to come here to meet with Mitama every day without fail. It helps that he usually doesn't need to assist his sister with her chores, or to help his father or mother out any. He doesn't feel bad about helping Mitama out at all, since he'd be in here tending to the pegasi anyway. And besides, it's nice to see Cerulean and Mitama bonding like this.

It's also really nice to get to bond with Mitama, but that's... well, that's not really something he's sure how to admit, or if he should admit it. Would she take it poorly? He isn't sure. It can be a bit hard to read Mitama sometimes.

But that's part of why he enjoys spending so much time with her. She's a fascinating individual and she's witty and smart, and sometimes she still teases him, but even that's gotten to a point where he rarely has to make excuses and run off. He can usually laugh it off and eventually she'll drop it, probably because she's taking pity on him. Still, he looks forward to these meetings more than any other part of his day, and today's no exception.

He enters quietly so as not to interrupt Mitama and Cerulean, but once he gets in, he holds up a hand in greeting and begins to tend to the other pegasi. Only when Mitama has reached a stopping point will he speak up.]

How has your day been? I hope your father hasn't been troubling you too much lately.

[He's certainly tried to stick his nose into it over the past two weeks, but his mother and father both have told him that he really needs to mind his own affairs on this one. Azama is... a bit of a difficult person, as they put it. Still, he longs to make Mitama's life just a bit easier, and she does seem to be enjoying this job... so things are fine now, right?]

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[...She hates to say that it makes sense when he says that much; she'd certainly not like to be compared to her father in many, if any regards. Still, that's...Mitama can't help but feel a little frustrated and put out by that.]

...Perhaps that much, I can acquiesce. I certainly would not wish to be compared to my oaf of a father if I could help such a thing.

[Still--]

You do deserve it, however. You work so incredibly diligently, so much that it is worthy of admiration. You've more than earned the right for such accolades, and it's...

[She trails off, very pointedly goes back to work at that, and her mind bubbles over with ideas--things she should say, but couldn't, things that'll only bring trouble. She somehow hopes he's just willing to drop it, perhaps.]

[He's quiet for a moment, just staring at the pegasus in front of him instead of continuing his work. He wants to argue, to say that he's not good enough, that he'll only deserve those compliments when he really earns them, but ultimately he sighs and ducks his head a bit.]

...I'm sorry, Mitama. I didn't mean to burden you with all of this. It's been something I've been thinking about recently, but that's no excuse. I'll be more mindful of it in the future.

You're not burdening me.

[Mitama snaps at him when he says that almost instantly, her tone taking on a harshness that's perhaps unintentional--she's frustrated, so utterly frustrated, and she knows she's causing it, and that makes her angry? That makes her very angry.]

The volcano heats / roiling, barely restrained from / fiery outburst. It's frustrating that you don't...that I...

[That's all she manages to get out before retrieving something from her pack for Cerulean--some nice carrots for her, gently feeding the creature. Once she's finished, Mitama stands up.]

Oh, forget it. Forget I said a thing.

[Her tone goes cold at that, and pretty dismissive as she tries to walk out. She doesn't expect him to follow her along, though she's likely left him with questions.]

[He looks over at her when she snaps, but he doesn't interrupt at all. He looks taken aback, and honestly has no idea what he's said that's set her off. He would have understood if she was angry before he apologized, but...? Oh, perhaps the apology simply came too late...

Well, regardless of what did it, he can't just let her walk away like this. Perhaps if she were someone else he would, he could go be upset somewhere for awhile and then try to brush it off and ignore it, like he always does. But things are different with Mitama, and he doesn't want her to be angry or upset, and he's not about to let her go just like that.

So instead he gets up, leaving his work unfinished (for once) and follows her, reaching out for her arm once he catches up.]

Mitama, Mitama, wait—

[Gods only know she needs to cool down after that, but her mind wanders while she walks--reminds her of just how frustrated she is with herself. She should go back and apologize, and maybe she should just accept that he doesn't like being complimented. But hearing that he doesn't deserve it, when he does so much--and knowing that it only makes things worse if she tries bark against it, it stings a lot more than she'd like to admit.

She just wants him to see himself in the same light she sees him. But she was foolish, so foolish--

Ah, gods. Mitama looks a bit surprised when she hears her name, turning to see him walk up to her with wide eyes.]

What--Shigure?

[It takes a few seconds of surprise for her eyes to narrow a bit. Oh, this is perfect, just what she needs--Mitama can't say she actually expected him to follow her, but she crosses her arms, mostly to just close herself off some when she sees his hand, and she looks away from Shigure but she doesn't start walking again.]

Don't you still have work to do? Surely you've something more important than trying to...to...

[...there's a sudden realization that she really doesn't even know what he's trying to do.]

Edited (wording) 2019-05-28 00:00 (UTC)

[He pulls his hand back and settles a bit now that she's talking to him.]

Trying to find out what's upset my dear friend so.

[He provides the answer she's looking for easily, with no hesitation or embarrassment. Though once it's out there, he starts to wonder if maybe he should have chosen something a little less intimate-sounding... So he'll just try to move on quickly.]

I can afford a delay in my tasks. It's important to me that I look out for you too, you know. To be honest, I'm not really sure what it was that upset you so. I wanted to make sure that you'll be okay.

[...Ah, gods.

That's the way it's been with him on those rare occasions--when he manages to embarrass her just by being very purely himself. It flusters her, and she's kind of glad she's very pointedly looking away from Shigure because her face is starting to match the color of her hair--]

I'll be fine. Such base frustration / needs but blissful, sweet slumber / to forget it's source. You don't need to concern yourself over me so much; save those worries for how you view yourself!

How I view myself?

[He says, like he has no idea how that could possibly be a problem...]

I'm going to worry over you anyway, Mitama. You're... important to me.

[He should probably elaborate, or at least make it clear that he means as a friend or something because once again that sounds so intimate, but he doesn't end up doing it. Maybe some part of him wants her to know. It's sort of embarrassing, but there's something oddly liberating about saying it too, even if it's not all that open.]

[Shigure she loves you but oh my god, she wants to tear her hair out at how frustrating this is!!

She could stand so much, but those words, with all he's been saying and just how much he's been trying to both deflect the subject and downplay all he's done...it finally brings her over the edge.

Mitama winds up turning back to Shigure, her hands balling up by her sides and proceeding to get into his face--]

You're important to me as well, but it frustrates me to no end that you can't see yourself the way I see you, you utter buffoon!

[oh boy, she's getting into a row, someone please stop her--]

Modest you may be / to just...disparage yourself? / I cannot stand it! Nay, I loathe it entirely! I can't stand to see you put yourself down when you have done so much for everyone--you have earned it, and the fact that you cannot see that worries me horribly!

[He takes a step back when she turns on him, though he holds his tongue until she's done. Is it really something that bothers her so much...? But it's hardly modesty, it's the truth...]

I do what I can for everyone, but there are those who can do so much more - who try harder, who work harder, who have the skills required to look after everyone in more efficient ways... I'm not trying to downplay my contributions, but I'm not doing all that much!

[The words just sort of happen, because he's not really sure what to do with this. It probably isn't helping though.]

[It's absolutely not helping, and Mitama quite frankly looks like she wants to strangle him but she is refraining so much--]

Utter hogwash! That doesn't mean what you do can't be held to the same high regard as what everyone else does!

[Her mind is going a million miles a minute and she's trying to rein herself in before she says something utterly stupid. Not that this isn't stupid, but gods.]

But what I do isn't as important! I take care of the smaller things and yes, it's important that someone does them, but anyone could do it! I'm just filling in the gaps that the others can't handle right now, that's all.

[It's a silly thing to argue over, he knows that. But he doesn't know how else to handle this without getting moody and irritated, so apparently this is what we're doing today.]

And yet they still trust you to do those things, time and time again! Like clockwork, each day / reliability shines / and ensures success! The so-called 'smaller' things are integral to to the function of 'bigger' things, and that doesn't make them unimportant in the process!

[She wants to storm off so badly but here she is, getting angrier and angrier at this dense young man.]

These are tasks that could be done by anyone, I just happen to be the one around to do them! It doesn't make me special or even half as important as those running the army! I acknowledge that the tasks are important, but again, anyone could do them!

[She's not the only one getting riled up, and once Shigure gets going, he doesn't really know how to stop himself.]

Ugh--you're missing the point entirely, Shigure! I'm so utterly sick of hearing the boy I adore disparage himself and refuse to include himself amongst these so called 'better' people! What on earth would it take to get you to see yourself as one of them?!

[...She. She hasn't realized that she's let a really important little detail slip.

Will either of them notice, only time will tell.]

I— Wait.

[He's gearing up to keep going when that hits him, and Shigure stares for a moment.]

"The boy I adore"... You don't mean...?

[Sorry, Mitama, of course he's going to draw attention to it. Give him a moment to try to process that.]

...Do you have feelings for me, Mitama?

[...Oh gods, she really let that slip, didn't she.

Mitama practically jolts at that, taking a step back with her eyes beginning to widen and her face reddening something horrible. She should have just held her tongue, oh gods--]

I--I...

[Well. This is going peachy, isn't it. Mitama averts her gaze once more once she attempts to establish some distance. It takes a bit for her to try and manage something, and manage it...well, somewhat effectively.]

...The kindness you've shown / overwhelmed my icy heart; / like spring's warm sunlight.

[...that's. a very vague way of saying yes, but sure Mitama.]

[It's vague, sure, but that's good enough for him. Shigure smiles at that, and as always, the expression is warm and very pleased.]

I'm very glad to hear it, Mitama. To be honest, I've been harboring similar feelings toward you, but I wasn't sure if I should say something... And even if I wanted to, I've never been very good with words.

[Mitama actually looks back at Shigure when he starts speaking and almost immediately has to turn away because oh god who turned up the purity. He's cute? He's too cute, gods dammit!!]

Two lovebirds caught up / within their own hubris / at long last, sing true.

[...]

I...thank you, Shigure. Like a sky blue jewel / coveted so by me / my greatest treasure. And...a very important one, at that.

[That's...not an apology for getting angry, but at least she's explaining herself?]

Edited 2019-05-29 22:12 (UTC)

Your poetry is beautiful.

[It's something he's expressed before, surely, but there's something really important about acknowledging it now. His expression is soft and overjoyed... at least until he realizes that she's trying to explain why she got angry.]

Oh, I didn't mean... I'm sorry, Mitama. If I'd realized that you had feelings for me, I would have stopped earlier. It can't be easy to hear that from someone you care so much about. That was rude of me. I... really am sorry. I won't do it again.

[...She's kind of thankful he got it, even if it took a couple seconds. She does look back at him while he apologizes, walking a little closer again and making to grab one of his hands, if he'll let her. It's a gentle gesture, rather than anything angry.]

I accept your apology...yet, what would please me most is if I could help you feel confident about yourself. I know not how long that may take, but...you're quite correct that it is not easy to hear about, from someone whom I adore.

But I simply don't want you to be so tight lipped about what's plaguing you to spare my feelings, Shigure.

[He'll definitely accept it, returning that grip easily. That does get him to relax, and when he responds it's with all the sincerity he always brings.]

I'd like that. I may not know how to get more confident, but knowing that you really like me is a wonderful start.

[oh my god how can he say this with a straight face—]

I won't keep anything from you, Mitama. I'll let you know when something's troubling me, and I'll work to find a way to become more confident and comfortable with myself. That's a good start, isn't it?

[...Oh dear gods, Shigure. That's cute? That's cute. She seems pleased with that much, nodding her head at his conclusion--it is a good place to start, after all.

...But her look goes a touch more mischievous after, and her tone is lightly teasing.]

Well, well. Perhaps I should have spoken up sooner, if I knew confessing would yield good results. It's quite cute.

[She's kind of glad she can say that freely now!!]

Ah, I wouldn't call it cute...

[oh my god don't make him blush??? that's rude!!]

[!!!]

Ah, should I call it adorable, then?

[did you mean: make him blush harder? if you insist!!]

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