[The idea is a nice one, that maybe she could. She's not perfect and she knows it, as much as she's tried to delude herself into thinking she is; she still doesn't like being face to face with what feels like a broken mirror, but that's a problem she can acknowledge later. Or never. Never would be very good.
Of course, the joke Corbeau lets out...it gets Jacinthe to pause a bit, because--maybe she's overthinking it again. He's just saying that because he needs to do his job, isn't he? It's why he's playing it off this way. Isn't the problem that happened last time that she overthought this and pried into something that she shouldn't have?
...]
I...did not realize that I had worried you so much.
[It's soft when she says it, and she tries to shake her head and shake off the thoughts that swarm her--she doesn't succeed, but...]
I truly do mean it, that I do not want to give you--or them, further reason for worry. And that I intend to try and ensure that I do not act recklessly.
[Corbeau's quiet for a moment, staring at Jacinthe like she's grown a second head.]
Why wouldn't I be worried?
[This is not a helpful response and he knows it, but her words are truly baffling. Of course he was worried. How could he not be? She ran off on her own after the man who tried to poison her without any of her companions and no way to reach her. Of course he was worried!]
See to it that you don't. You're lucky things turned out as well as they did this time. Don't take any big risks like that again.
There's a brief tenseness in Jacinthe like she's getting tetchy again, like she wants to start a fight again--but he's still recovering. He literally saved her life. He...]
I...don't know. [The words come out softer than intended, as if there's something in her head that she really doesn't know how to verbalize, honestly. She ends up looking away from Corbeau, the tetchy feeling fading into more of a confused look in her own right.] I think I'm just shocked that you decided to take me in like this, after all that has happened. That you haven't called this off at all. This...has to have gone beyond the limits of our contract, oui? Even with extra payment for...
[Jacinthe waves her hand like her next words are obvious; maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but her head swirls with what could genuinely be the reason she said that. Maybe it's that she just doesn't know what to feel. Maybe she doesn't really know what to do with someone who's staying by choice, rather than the money she keeps throwing at him. Maybe it's the fact that it's giving her a feeling, and--
Jacinthe starts to stand, pointedly avoiding Corbeau's gaze. She at least smiles, but it's a little more distant.]
...I may simply be getting into my own head again, my friend. Please, excuse me; regardless of the state of my head, I do appreciate everything you're doing, and have no intention of making your job any harder than it already has been.
[...]
...I'd like to drink with you sometime again, actually, if you're amendable to it. Once you've recovered, of course.
[She genuinely doesn't seem to get it, which keeps his temper from flaring. This isn't Jacinthe playing dumb and wasting his time, this is Jacinthe struggling with figuring out exactly where they stand. Which is fair enough, he supposes, given Corbeau's never really voiced his thoughts on the subject. Sure, it started as a job, but how the hell could it remain only that after he's learned so much about her? After seeing who she truly is and knowing that she's someone just as lost, desperate, and alone as some of the people he's plucked from the streets of Lumiose and given a new life here in the Rust Syndicate?
(As he himself was, once.)
Corbeau pushes his glasses up, gaze flicking to some point on the floor as he continues.]
You expect me to turn a blind eye from someone who needs help? C'mon, Jacinthe. You know me better than that.
[He'd be doing the exact same thing even if she wasn't paying him, at this point. This bleeding heart of his may be a detriment in his position, but it's something he wouldn't trade for the damn world. It took a lot of struggling to reach this point and accept it in himself, and he isn't going to let the world rob him of it.]
I'm giving you this offer because I want to help - not because of any amount of money you've given me.
After our last discussion, I don't want to make some sort of assumption because I really don't--
[She's stopped short by the next thing Corbeau says, and the growing, slightly tetchy and confused heat in her tone dies off at that. He...wants to help her; she knows it should be obvious, and she's eternally grateful. But that discussion and her part in it is still on her mind, and maybe it's preventing her from really understanding because...
What does he see her as? What does he see in the mirror in front of him, old and withered and shattered by her own delusions and expectations?
Themida always told her to never apologize unless she meant it. And no matter how sorry Jacinthe felt, it was never enough for her. Maybe there's a part of her that actually wants to say it, that she's sorry (for what? that she doesn't get it, that his care is so foreign to her that she has to question where it comes from?) and she actually means it this time, but what if he just doesn't believe her?]
...Thank you. [...] I hope that my gratefulness is at least obvious, even if I seem to have a hard time with the rest. I do fear it may simply be a problem with me; not even my parents offer this level of care, and they claim to love me, though only with conditions.
[...Oh. That might be--]
I...suppose that is merely something that confuses me as a whole, maybe?
[She's getting riled again, and though she does calm down, it's obvious this whole thing is hitting her strangely. Even Scolipede has noticed, watching her with the same cold, calculating stare he uses on the battlefield. Determining how much of a threat she is, and whether he needs to start taking things seriously. He's remarkably still now, just watching, waiting for the signal to strike, much like a coiled Ekans. It isn't necessary of course - but that's how Scolipede has always been. Once bitten, twice shy, they say - or in his case, multiple times bitten, eternally shy.]
It is, don't worry about that. [Corbeau holds up a hand, palm down, and Scolipede releases a soft rumble before settling again.] It isn't the easiest or most straightforward thing to accept, particularly when it's so unfamiliar.
Kindness doesn't always come easy. It doesn't usually come with no strings attached. I understand your hesitation and confusion about it, because that's exactly how I reacted when it was offered to me at first.
But I'll continue offering it, because that's what I've decided to do. I'm not a man to go back on his word or change his mind.
[How strange it is. How...nice it is, actually, to know that this much is unconditional; the idea that he keeps throwing rocks at the metaphorical window that is her soul, and that he'll keep doing so. Because that's his word.
Jacinthe smiles softly, and she feels a little bad for withdrawing so badly from this. But it's...]
Maybe I've been so used to it being fake that I really don't know what to do if someone is treating me with genuine kindness. It's almost funny. But you're right; it's that strings attached kindness that I have always been so used to. It's why I always found it so much easier to yank the strings into my own hands, because I couldn't let anyone else take mine.
[It really isn't. But she'll finally look back to Corbeau at that--looking to Scolipede for a second too, giving him a small smile before looking back to Corbeau, her expression warm.]
...Thank you, for being so stubborn, and...reaching your hand out again and again. It is something I hold dear to me, if I may be honest with you. And...well.
I know not if the feeling is mutual, but I am glad to call you my friend--and not simply to be polite, either.
Yeah. A lot of your behavior makes sense knowing what I do now. Better to use those around you before you can be used - something like that, right?
[He's not coming at it from the same angle she is, obviously, but he gets it. It took him a long time to learn to trust people. It took him a long time to accept that he could extend that kindness to humans and not be hurt or taken advantage of in response. Lysandre was the first person who reached out his hand and asked for nothing in return, and it gave Corbeau the courage to do the same. He understands how Lysandre's kindness became so warped, how he ended up on this path of destruction, and he hates that he's glad he didn't have to walk it with the man.]
I'll keep offering it. You can count on that.
[Calling him a friend, though... She tossed the term around so casually before, but she really means it now. It's not something Corbeau's really given much thought to - and why would he? They are what they are, it doesn't need a label. But...]
Yes, exactly that! Better to force them on my path than end up with broken strings.
[...Oh. She didn't expect him to just actually say it but--
...
Jacinthe actually looks a little struck for a moment before her eyes sparkle just the tiniest bit, and she laughs and it's--a little startled, but absolutely warm and delighted and she looks surprisingly jazzed about that?]
I'm--delighted to hear that, Corbeau! [Friends!!! Genuinely, even!!!] I'm happy to know that with certainty! People are so very confusing to me even on a good day that it can be hard to tell!
Thank you. ...I should probably let you get back to your work now, shouldn't I?
[She looks so damn happy about it that he can't help but feel a little bad. If he'd realized it'd mean this much to her, he could've just told her sooner...]
I do have some things to square away before I retire for the night, but you're free to visit whenever you'd like.
[Scolipede gives Jacinthe a last (gentle) headbutt of thanks as well.]
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clefablite) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sranks2025-10-22 06:33 pm
no subject
Of course, the joke Corbeau lets out...it gets Jacinthe to pause a bit, because--maybe she's overthinking it again. He's just saying that because he needs to do his job, isn't he? It's why he's playing it off this way. Isn't the problem that happened last time that she overthought this and pried into something that she shouldn't have?
...]
I...did not realize that I had worried you so much.
[It's soft when she says it, and she tries to shake her head and shake off the thoughts that swarm her--she doesn't succeed, but...]
I truly do mean it, that I do not want to give you--or them, further reason for worry. And that I intend to try and ensure that I do not act recklessly.
no subject
Why wouldn't I be worried?
[This is not a helpful response and he knows it, but her words are truly baffling. Of course he was worried. How could he not be? She ran off on her own after the man who tried to poison her without any of her companions and no way to reach her. Of course he was worried!]
See to it that you don't. You're lucky things turned out as well as they did this time. Don't take any big risks like that again.
no subject
There's a brief tenseness in Jacinthe like she's getting tetchy again, like she wants to start a fight again--but he's still recovering. He literally saved her life. He...]
I...don't know. [The words come out softer than intended, as if there's something in her head that she really doesn't know how to verbalize, honestly. She ends up looking away from Corbeau, the tetchy feeling fading into more of a confused look in her own right.] I think I'm just shocked that you decided to take me in like this, after all that has happened. That you haven't called this off at all. This...has to have gone beyond the limits of our contract, oui? Even with extra payment for...
[Jacinthe waves her hand like her next words are obvious; maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but her head swirls with what could genuinely be the reason she said that. Maybe it's that she just doesn't know what to feel. Maybe she doesn't really know what to do with someone who's staying by choice, rather than the money she keeps throwing at him. Maybe it's the fact that it's giving her a feeling, and--
Jacinthe starts to stand, pointedly avoiding Corbeau's gaze. She at least smiles, but it's a little more distant.]
...I may simply be getting into my own head again, my friend. Please, excuse me; regardless of the state of my head, I do appreciate everything you're doing, and have no intention of making your job any harder than it already has been.
[...]
...I'd like to drink with you sometime again, actually, if you're amendable to it. Once you've recovered, of course.
no subject
[She genuinely doesn't seem to get it, which keeps his temper from flaring. This isn't Jacinthe playing dumb and wasting his time, this is Jacinthe struggling with figuring out exactly where they stand. Which is fair enough, he supposes, given Corbeau's never really voiced his thoughts on the subject. Sure, it started as a job, but how the hell could it remain only that after he's learned so much about her? After seeing who she truly is and knowing that she's someone just as lost, desperate, and alone as some of the people he's plucked from the streets of Lumiose and given a new life here in the Rust Syndicate?
(As he himself was, once.)
Corbeau pushes his glasses up, gaze flicking to some point on the floor as he continues.]
You expect me to turn a blind eye from someone who needs help? C'mon, Jacinthe. You know me better than that.
[He'd be doing the exact same thing even if she wasn't paying him, at this point. This bleeding heart of his may be a detriment in his position, but it's something he wouldn't trade for the damn world. It took a lot of struggling to reach this point and accept it in himself, and he isn't going to let the world rob him of it.]
I'm giving you this offer because I want to help - not because of any amount of money you've given me.
no subject
[She's stopped short by the next thing Corbeau says, and the growing, slightly tetchy and confused heat in her tone dies off at that. He...wants to help her; she knows it should be obvious, and she's eternally grateful. But that discussion and her part in it is still on her mind, and maybe it's preventing her from really understanding because...
What does he see her as? What does he see in the mirror in front of him, old and withered and shattered by her own delusions and expectations?
Themida always told her to never apologize unless she meant it. And no matter how sorry Jacinthe felt, it was never enough for her. Maybe there's a part of her that actually wants to say it, that she's sorry (for what? that she doesn't get it, that his care is so foreign to her that she has to question where it comes from?) and she actually means it this time, but what if he just doesn't believe her?]
...Thank you. [...] I hope that my gratefulness is at least obvious, even if I seem to have a hard time with the rest. I do fear it may simply be a problem with me; not even my parents offer this level of care, and they claim to love me, though only with conditions.
[...Oh. That might be--]
I...suppose that is merely something that confuses me as a whole, maybe?
no subject
It is, don't worry about that. [Corbeau holds up a hand, palm down, and Scolipede releases a soft rumble before settling again.] It isn't the easiest or most straightforward thing to accept, particularly when it's so unfamiliar.
Kindness doesn't always come easy. It doesn't usually come with no strings attached. I understand your hesitation and confusion about it, because that's exactly how I reacted when it was offered to me at first.
But I'll continue offering it, because that's what I've decided to do. I'm not a man to go back on his word or change his mind.
no subject
Jacinthe smiles softly, and she feels a little bad for withdrawing so badly from this. But it's...]
Maybe I've been so used to it being fake that I really don't know what to do if someone is treating me with genuine kindness. It's almost funny. But you're right; it's that strings attached kindness that I have always been so used to. It's why I always found it so much easier to yank the strings into my own hands, because I couldn't let anyone else take mine.
[It really isn't. But she'll finally look back to Corbeau at that--looking to Scolipede for a second too, giving him a small smile before looking back to Corbeau, her expression warm.]
...Thank you, for being so stubborn, and...reaching your hand out again and again. It is something I hold dear to me, if I may be honest with you. And...well.
I know not if the feeling is mutual, but I am glad to call you my friend--and not simply to be polite, either.
no subject
[He's not coming at it from the same angle she is, obviously, but he gets it. It took him a long time to learn to trust people. It took him a long time to accept that he could extend that kindness to humans and not be hurt or taken advantage of in response. Lysandre was the first person who reached out his hand and asked for nothing in return, and it gave Corbeau the courage to do the same. He understands how Lysandre's kindness became so warped, how he ended up on this path of destruction, and he hates that he's glad he didn't have to walk it with the man.]
I'll keep offering it. You can count on that.
[Calling him a friend, though... She tossed the term around so casually before, but she really means it now. It's not something Corbeau's really given much thought to - and why would he? They are what they are, it doesn't need a label. But...]
...The feeling is mutual, you know.
[It doesn't hurt any to say it.]
no subject
[...Oh. She didn't expect him to just actually say it but--
...
Jacinthe actually looks a little struck for a moment before her eyes sparkle just the tiniest bit, and she laughs and it's--a little startled, but absolutely warm and delighted and she looks surprisingly jazzed about that?]
I'm--delighted to hear that, Corbeau! [Friends!!! Genuinely, even!!!] I'm happy to know that with certainty! People are so very confusing to me even on a good day that it can be hard to tell!
Thank you. ...I should probably let you get back to your work now, shouldn't I?
no subject
I do have some things to square away before I retire for the night, but you're free to visit whenever you'd like.
[Scolipede gives Jacinthe a last (gentle) headbutt of thanks as well.]
Goodnight, Jacinthe. I'll see you later.
no subject
But oh, let her give Scolipede a little affection first before she bounds off the happiest she's been in a fair while--]
Believe me, I shall--what are friends for, you know? Goodnight Corbeau, goodnight Scolipede! I shall see you both again soon!
[And Jacinthe will retire to her quarters the most jazzed she's ever been in a while!!!]