[It occurs to him then that she really does want to help. That maybe she wants to even the score, so she doesn't feel as exposed and weak now that he knows the truth about her, but that she also wants to help, and she can't do that if she doesn't know what's wrong. It's surreal. Corbeau never thought he'd be in this sort of position to begin with, let alone with Jacinthe. He feels... vulnerable, despite the fact that he hasn't shared much of anything. Cornered, maybe.
(Scared, even.)
He shakes his head, dismissing those thoughts. It's fine because it has to be. It's fine because he's supposed to be her bodyguard, and he can't exactly do that if he's letting himself drown in his own feelings.]
I appreciate it, Jacinthe. Truly. [The offer at least, even though the rest leaves him feeling agitated in a way.] But it's fine, I was just feeling a bit nostalgic. Better stop before I start getting any sappier on you.
[He drains the last of his glass and pushes it away to indicate that he's done.]
[She wants to make him tell her. She wants to so damn badly, and for a brief moment she tenses as she considers it. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that he can know her so damn well, that he can hide his cards like this when she doesn't get a choice in the matter. Even after all of the times she tried to tell him to stay away, he still didn't listen, and it's--]
...That is more than a little unfair, you know. I didn't exactly have a choice in getting all sappy on you today.
[I want to return the favor. Even the score. I always get what I want and I want to actually help for once, so why won't you--
Her expression darkens a bit, and deep down she knows it isn't fair to let her temper flare like this. This is his personal life, and even if he's dealt with hers today, it's not like he wanted to have to deal with her parents. He just chose to, like the stubborn bastard he is, and she still doesn't know why he decided to do that.
Jacinthe can feel herself shaking again, her anger getting the best of her, and she just sort of huffs and turns away at first, draining the rest of her glass. She doesn't know why he seems to be getting agitated too, but she wants to leave. It's her office, she could tell him to, if he's just going to be stubborn and shut her out, and--]
All I want is to return the favor, when something is clearly wrong. Is that so wrong of me?
[Corbeau's eyes narrow as he answers; he knows that some part of this is wanting to help. He assumes some part of this is wanting to feel like they're back on even footing, that he's not holding anything over her head. Any promises not to say or do anything about what he's learned today are likely pointless - what matters is that he's aware of something she didn't want him to know, and now she feels like he's withholding information from her. It isn't even the same level of information! It isn't like they're comparable at all! But she doesn't know that, and she can't know that because he won't tell her, which just circles back around into making this even worse.]
I'll apologize for staying when you told me to leave. But you must understand, I have to be cautious - it's what you're paying me for. I did what I thought was best at the time, and while I can see in hindsight it wasn't necessary, it's not like I can undo it now.
[He exhales after that's out there, pushing his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose.]
Again, I do appreciate that you want to help. This isn't the sort of thing that requires help, though. So don't worry about it. It really isn't a big deal.
[She wants to be the worst version of herself so. Damn. Badly. She doesn't understand. She wants to understand, because this is the first time anyone's actually bothered for her sake and all she wants is--]
Fine then! You completely overstepped in not listening to me; I asked you for protecting from that scoundrel, not from them, and not to be exposed like some Froakie on an amateur experimentation table! And maybe it is so wrong of me to want to try and understand and...and... [Jacinthe knows she shouldn't raise her voice like this, because she's the image of her mother right now, and maybe she is overthinking this. But that fire dies quicker than she thought it would, and she's left shaking again because she...
She really meant it, when she called him a friend. And maybe that's why it hurts so much, because even if Lebanne came close in her eyes, she never did this. He'll never know that. But try as she might to force up anger that she's feeling toward this, she finds she really can't. He stood up for her. He actually tried, and she just can't understand why he won't let her, and at this point the line feels blurred between whether or not this is an actual job or if she feels like she can call him something he has no right to be and--
Despite the initial yell, Jacinthe doesn't say anything else, and she actually has to turn away from him. The fury she summons up ends up dissipating, because more than anything, she feels hurt. She feels volatile, she feels so damn much all at once and she can't even tell if it's the information or if it's just that she feels shut out and she hates it.]
...You know what, maybe I overstepped, then. You're just here for a job. I should do well to remember that.
Take care.
[Jacinthe storms out, slamming the door behind her and hoping he doesn't follow. That he knows his place, as she should have. She'll just go have a cry in her boudoir and everything will be fine if he doesn't resign from his position. She wouldn't be surprised if he does.
(Maybe that'll learn her, that the only things she can trust in this world are herself and what money can buy. ...And her Sylveon, who's definitely getting cried into tonight.)]
[She's getting riled, so he's getting riled, and Corbeau adjusts his glasses as he leans forward to interject—
And she trails off, falling silent. He doesn't say anything, waiting for her to continue her tirade, but it seems like the fire's worn out. He's kind of disappointed, in all honesty. Arguing even something so pointless and stupid would at least be some form of release for all the tension that still hasn't fully left him after today's events. But she settles, redirects, and leaves.
...]
Damn it.
[Jacinthe was trying to help - at least partially - because that's what friends do. She may not be great at it, but it was an attempt, and he brushed it off. Sure, he still wouldn't call her a friend, but that's because you don't make friends easily or lightly in his line of work. Surely she's gotta realize that? It wasn't anything personal. He just... can't open himself up like that. Not for any reason. Especially not for something so sentimental and sappy as missing someone.
(Lysandre isn't even really gone. He hasn't reached out to him, and Lysandre hasn't reached out to him either. Sometimes he wonders if he should, but... Well, there's more important things to focus on right now.)
Corbeau returns to his room; sleep doesn't come easily tonight.]
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clefablite) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sranks2025-10-22 06:33 pm
no subject
(Scared, even.)
He shakes his head, dismissing those thoughts. It's fine because it has to be. It's fine because he's supposed to be her bodyguard, and he can't exactly do that if he's letting himself drown in his own feelings.]
I appreciate it, Jacinthe. Truly. [The offer at least, even though the rest leaves him feeling agitated in a way.] But it's fine, I was just feeling a bit nostalgic. Better stop before I start getting any sappier on you.
[He drains the last of his glass and pushes it away to indicate that he's done.]
no subject
...That is more than a little unfair, you know. I didn't exactly have a choice in getting all sappy on you today.
[I want to return the favor. Even the score. I always get what I want and I want to actually help for once, so why won't you--
Her expression darkens a bit, and deep down she knows it isn't fair to let her temper flare like this. This is his personal life, and even if he's dealt with hers today, it's not like he wanted to have to deal with her parents. He just chose to, like the stubborn bastard he is, and she still doesn't know why he decided to do that.
Jacinthe can feel herself shaking again, her anger getting the best of her, and she just sort of huffs and turns away at first, draining the rest of her glass. She doesn't know why he seems to be getting agitated too, but she wants to leave. It's her office, she could tell him to, if he's just going to be stubborn and shut her out, and--]
All I want is to return the favor, when something is clearly wrong. Is that so wrong of me?
no subject
[Corbeau's eyes narrow as he answers; he knows that some part of this is wanting to help. He assumes some part of this is wanting to feel like they're back on even footing, that he's not holding anything over her head. Any promises not to say or do anything about what he's learned today are likely pointless - what matters is that he's aware of something she didn't want him to know, and now she feels like he's withholding information from her. It isn't even the same level of information! It isn't like they're comparable at all! But she doesn't know that, and she can't know that because he won't tell her, which just circles back around into making this even worse.]
I'll apologize for staying when you told me to leave. But you must understand, I have to be cautious - it's what you're paying me for. I did what I thought was best at the time, and while I can see in hindsight it wasn't necessary, it's not like I can undo it now.
[He exhales after that's out there, pushing his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose.]
Again, I do appreciate that you want to help. This isn't the sort of thing that requires help, though. So don't worry about it. It really isn't a big deal.
no subject
Fine then! You completely overstepped in not listening to me; I asked you for protecting from that scoundrel, not from them, and not to be exposed like some Froakie on an amateur experimentation table! And maybe it is so wrong of me to want to try and understand and...and... [Jacinthe knows she shouldn't raise her voice like this, because she's the image of her mother right now, and maybe she is overthinking this. But that fire dies quicker than she thought it would, and she's left shaking again because she...
She really meant it, when she called him a friend. And maybe that's why it hurts so much, because even if Lebanne came close in her eyes, she never did this. He'll never know that. But try as she might to force up anger that she's feeling toward this, she finds she really can't. He stood up for her. He actually tried, and she just can't understand why he won't let her, and at this point the line feels blurred between whether or not this is an actual job or if she feels like she can call him something he has no right to be and--
Despite the initial yell, Jacinthe doesn't say anything else, and she actually has to turn away from him. The fury she summons up ends up dissipating, because more than anything, she feels hurt. She feels volatile, she feels so damn much all at once and she can't even tell if it's the information or if it's just that she feels shut out and she hates it.]
...You know what, maybe I overstepped, then. You're just here for a job. I should do well to remember that.
Take care.
[Jacinthe storms out, slamming the door behind her and hoping he doesn't follow. That he knows his place, as she should have. She'll just go have a cry in her boudoir and everything will be fine if he doesn't resign from his position. She wouldn't be surprised if he does.
(Maybe that'll learn her, that the only things she can trust in this world are herself and what money can buy. ...And her Sylveon, who's definitely getting cried into tonight.)]
no subject
And she trails off, falling silent. He doesn't say anything, waiting for her to continue her tirade, but it seems like the fire's worn out. He's kind of disappointed, in all honesty. Arguing even something so pointless and stupid would at least be some form of release for all the tension that still hasn't fully left him after today's events. But she settles, redirects, and leaves.
...]
Damn it.
[Jacinthe was trying to help - at least partially - because that's what friends do. She may not be great at it, but it was an attempt, and he brushed it off. Sure, he still wouldn't call her a friend, but that's because you don't make friends easily or lightly in his line of work. Surely she's gotta realize that? It wasn't anything personal. He just... can't open himself up like that. Not for any reason. Especially not for something so sentimental and sappy as missing someone.
(Lysandre isn't even really gone. He hasn't reached out to him, and Lysandre hasn't reached out to him either. Sometimes he wonders if he should, but... Well, there's more important things to focus on right now.)
Corbeau returns to his room; sleep doesn't come easily tonight.]