[The anxiety (that Neo does not feel, thank you very much) begins to subside and Neo can finally take a moment to think. Sonic must have a reason for running away. There's always a reason driving everything he does, even if that reason is something as incomprehensible as "feelings". This seems the most likely option. Sonic's having a feeling and not handling it well. The last person he probably wants to see is Neo, who barely even recognizes a feeling on a good day.
But he isn't willing to let Sonic deal with this on his own. He's going to have to return to the apartment and deal with Neo eventually, and it's just going to drive his thoughts back into endless circles if he doesn't ask Sonic what the hell is going on now. After all, he's chased him out here. Sonic likely is still within the forest; he can only push himself so hard with his feeble, fleshy body, after all.
Sonic thankfully won't have to deal with any more intruding emotions or thoughts right now, as Neo's firmly shifted over into hunting mode. He has tracked Sonic before. He knows better than anyone how to find his counterpart. It's only a matter of patience and persistence.
He doesn't bother using his jets this time, instead walking on foot as he carefully studies his surroundings. Sonic has left traces behind for those observant enough to follow - and it isn't long before his hearing picks up on that breathing.
(Though what exactly is camping? How can he have a thought about something he's never heard of before? That must belong to Sonic.)
Neo doesn't bother trying to quiet his approach. He does raise his voice over the sound of twigs crunching beneath his feet, though.]
Continue running if you must, but I won't stop chasing you.
[...okay he might kind of enjoy the chase a little bit—]
[...He's going to have to camp out here, at least for tonight. Maybe he can convince Neo that something happened, that something happened at the festival that he needed to be alone to deal with. Yeah, that's it--he's just gotta dig a den out, when he can breathe, he's not sure if he can't breathe because of the anxiety or just from tiring himself out, but he needs to catch his breath. He knows this.
As Neo gets closer, he'll be able to hear what feels like strangely strangled thoughts. Sonic's thoughts are all over the place, really, a storm of frustration and anxiety--though as he gets closer, it's the self loathing that manages to stay at the forefront of his current thoughts, and...
--deserves better. He deserves better than-- --only going to mess this up-- --if they're right-- --be a good boyfriend. That's not what we-- --are we?
And yet...it's strange--is he...starting to enjoy making Neo chase him down? Sonic hears some surprisingly heavy treads crunching through the snow, and for a moment he mercifully thinks there's a monster there that he can fight.
And then Neo speaks up and Sonic's about ready to turn tail and run again.]
You should. Come on, Neo, knock it off--
[...And there he goes again, though it seems he isn't fully recovered this time as he starts to dart off--a little slower, this time. He'll still be giving it his all, but it seems the chase is on once again. You're getting closer--!]
[Those thoughts again... They're coming with more frequency, more urgency, but they happen so fast Neo can scarcely keep track of them. What could be upsetting Sonic of all people so much? The self-loathing, the betrayal, the frustration and anxiety... all of them threaten to strangle what little sense Neo has to begin with, but—]
Sonic—
[And there he goes again. Getting stuck thinking about this is going to get him nowhere. There another spike of his own anxiety and frustration - not aimed at Sonic, but rather at the situation, at Neo's own inability to understand - and he's off. He can continue to push himself just as hard as before because he's a robot, he has plenty of charge left and his boosters can go for quite awhile. So though it'll take him a bit, he'll eventually catch up to Sonic as his organic counterpart starts to slow.]
I would gladly race you had you asked.
[And with a final burst of speed and the thrill of victory flickering through the bond, Neo just tries to tackle Sonic like a goddamn madman?? Neo please, you are made of metal and spikes.
[Sonic wants to keep running. He hasn't been slacking by any means, but even Sonic has a point that he can get tired in the face of racing against his feelings. Avoiding them, wanting to shove them away somewhere where they can't be at the forefront, where he doesn't have to actually think about what they are, but Sonic knows he's flagging. He's going to end up exhausting himself at this rate and it's going to be humiliating to explain to anyone he knows. He's giving some serious consideration to just living out in the woods again but...
Neo's voice once again brings Sonic back into reality, and anxiety spikes again because Neo absolutely has enough energy to spare. He's absolutely in trouble.]
This isn't meant to be a--augh!
[Sonic makes the frankly stupid (though likely safest) decision to turn around and face Neo, and Neo succeeds in tackling Sonic into the snow. It's a little painful, but losing like this--losing for real, it stings a little bit. He really should've actually taken care of himself sooner, he'd have won this without missing a beat otherwise.
But worse still are the thoughts that Neo picks up as Sonic opens his eyes, gaze averting a bit.
Well, smooth move, Sonic. Now look what you did. How do you explain this to him? ...At least from down here, he looks pretty han--
Aaaaaand he is dropping that thought nice and quick, thank you very much!!! But...something about what he feels in that bond, it's strange. Neo...he's really not going to leave this alone, is he?
Well. Sonic can at least do him the basic decency of not struggling.]
...I wasn't trying to race, Neo. I...
[The words Sonic needs to say don't come out, and if anything, he clams up as anxiety takes hold once again.]
[Sonic turns, which is perfect. In an instant he has his organic counterpart pinned down, hands on Sonic's wrists and one metal knee pressed to his chest to keep him there. He's mindful of his weight and pointy edges so he's not actively hurting Sonic, but better to keep him pinned for now in case he feels like trying to run off again.
This wasn't a proper competition. If it had been, Neo wouldn't have won. But the fact is that he did win, and there's no denying the pride that seeps through the bond.
My first victory. Finally, finally I've beaten him. A shame it isn't a real victory.
Sonic's thoughts flicker through his head and the latter one almost makes him want to press but... no. No, better just to leave that well enough alone, Sonic's stressed out enough without worrying about getting his thoughts all over Neo.
Now that Sonic's not struggling to get away, Neo sits back on his knees, releasing his grip on Sonic's wrists. He does remain hovering over his doppelganger, knees on either side of Sonic's legs so he's not fully free to go.
Don't push yourself any further. I'm not letting you go because you'll just run again.]
I know you weren't. If you had been, you would have beat me.
[There's no emotion following it; it simply is what it is. That much makes sense, at least.]
But you should know better than to try to escape me. If you need some alone time, all you need to do is ask.
[I don't want to leave you alone like this. Tell me what's wrong. Who hurt you like this? Who do I need to kill?]
Sonic hasn't really given a lot of thought to what the strings actually do, in hindsight--yet another one of those things where he just kind of assumes things will be okay and not weird. (He's been. Wrong about many of those kind of things, especially today.) But having Neo so close, even when he's just pinning him down like this, it feels like he's hearing Neo's thoughts so clearly, it's...
You can count it as one if you want, you know.
It's more of an active thought in response, and it feels...strange, to try and convey feeling that way. Despite how anxious Sonic feels, something Neo can definitely pick up on in spades now, Sonic doesn't move to get up from the ground and just kind of lays there, looking anywhere but at Neo right now.]
...I probably should've, yeah. [...] I just really needed to get some space, at the time. Everything was just kind of starting to pile up, and I wasn't...
[The thoughts aren't exactly clear, but they come through in the bond--a steadily increasing anxiety that persisted throughout the day, because of people. Those two women running the compatibility counter, some of the people he asked about how these strings worked, even the last two people who seemed like they were teasing him for the complicated feelings he's been having. It all just kind of added up, all at once, and...
It's those last few thoughts, that almost feel like a communication back, that get a pause out of Sonic. Neo's actually asking about it, and it's everything he doesn't want to acknowledge because everything was just fine until this happened, it was all fine until he--]
...I don't know if I can even explain it, Neo. I think I'm taking a page out of your book, at this point...
[How can I explain anything when I don't even know what's wrong with me?]
...If you hurt anyone, I won't forgive you, though. Leave them out of it. This is...
[Ah, there's no denying it. Those thoughts are Sonic's, and they merge so seamlessly with his words that it feels almost natural to be able to communicate like this. If Sonic can do it, then presumably so can he.]
...Understood.
[I'm not trying to upset you or make it worse.
It's simply that he is a killer robot who solves most of his problems with murder. If murder is not the solution, then he really does not know how to address it.
The thoughts send a wave of something through the bond - a burst of tangled, confused emotions that fade away as quickly as they come. Frustration, anger, confusion, and desperation to know, to understand... but he knows better than anyone that sometimes it's just impossible to put those thoughts into words, even if your brain is directly connected to your voice.]
You aren't the sort to overthink things. [Don't take that page from my book.] Tell me what's on your mind.
Sonic feels those tangled, strange emotions--he's sure of it now, that Neo can feel his thoughts, and it makes him want to balk a bit. To force himself to think of literally anything else, but that isn't fair to Neo. That isn't fair to Neo, who's trying. He's trying so damned hard for him right now, kind of like...
There's a vague thought, that this feels similar to the conversation they had after Sonic kissed Neo and tried to actually communicated for once. He's still not good at it, but Neo has always at least tried to listen, tried for his sake. It's...is this fair to Neo, to keep running away from him like this again? After Sonic tried so hard to get him out of his shell...
Neo can likely feel a couple of things at once, in their bond. An acknowledgement, that he knows--and that he's sorry. For many things, really, but mostly for running.]
...I talked to a bunch of people while I was helping them set up the festival goodies. Just...kind of wanting to understand more about this place, you know? I thought it was kind of funny that we ended up getting connected like this, and...
[Voices that aren't his play through his thoughts.
"Awww, you two are so adorable we can't stand it!" "Yeah! Your compatibility has to be easily 100%!"
"Those strings manifest in people with strong bonds, but they typically appear most strongly in those who care for each other." "In those that love each other, mostly."
"Come on, stop trying to act cool about all of this!" "Yeah, anyone can see it with you two. You're in L-O-V-E love, buddy!" "Sonic and Ne~o, sittin' in a tree--"
It's that last one that sees Sonic's grip go into the snow, his entire body language tightening up in response to those thoughts. There's an attempt at communicating what happened, at least, to push him over the edge. It's definitely a lot, but it feels like he's only scratching the surface--it feels connected to a lot of other thoughts, that these brought to the forefront. But Sonic's expression seems drained, and he still can't quite look Neo in the eye despite it all.]
...Truth is, I don't know how true all of that is. It's been making me think a lot about stuff. About...us, I guess.
[It was all simple before. Even after getting all kissy faced and stuff, it felt like it made sense, at least to me. I don't know when it stopped.]
[Neo remains silent, listening, trying to understand, but he ends up more confused than he started. Their compatibility is far lower than 100%, though higher than most people's would be, simply because Neo was created with Sonic's bio-data. He and Sonic are deeply connected on some level, though that level has changed considerably in their time here. They're rivals now, and they have a better understanding and respect for one another that comes with the upgrade from simply "enemies".
Sonic can likely feel the confusion seeping in, particularly as the others' words spell it out more and more blatantly. Love. That is what this entire holiday is about, isn't it? Romantic love between two people who care deeply for one another and may very well spend the rest of their lives together. Romantic love is what leads to forming partnerships and families, having offspring together and supporting one another through the most difficult times.
But that doesn't apply to them. They are rivals. Whatever feelings Sonic have toward him can't be romantic, because that doesn't make sense. Amy would be a far more suitable match, where Sonic to even be looking for something like that in the first place, given that she does nothing but talk about how much she loves Sonic.]
...What is there to think about?
[It's not meant to be harsh, but Neo can't see how one connects to the other here. After all...
I am incapable of feeling anything, let alone something as complicated and confusing as "love". Sonic would never "love" me because there is nothing to love. Isn't it that simple?]
[Sonic can very blatantly feel the confusion, and if anything, this just makes Sonic feel worse. It's a struggle to try and stem his own thoughts before they end up being expressed outwardly, but some of them slip through the cracks nonetheless. That feeling of betrayal kind of coming out first, though it's...
Am I just forcing my feelings onto him, whatever they are? I like what we have. I wouldn't exchange it for anything, and I don't care what the world thinks. Why? Why am I so focused on this, why am I--]
A lot, actually?
[Another thought plays, this one...this one a bit longer and further back than the others.
The two of them are pretty young when they first meet. Sonic saved Amy from something a long time ago, and Amy's been following him ever since. No matter how many times Sonic says that she needs to stay safe, stay put. She pursues relentlessly towards him, obsessively, trying to get him to marry her and Sonic wants no part of it.
It's not even that Sonic dislikes Amy. She's a pretty stand-up gal who goes out of her way to help people, and cares a lot in her own overly ready to use a hammer to solve her problems kind of way. It's what love feels like it means for Sonic that's the issue.
The thoughts are more vague at this point. Longing, for traveling and for exploring new places, that he couldn't because of love. Getting bored or going off on his own, and someone's heartbroken face at such a thing. You can't just leave someone you love, and expecting them to keep pace with him feels even worse. They could get upset, they could get homesick, it all just feels too complicated for him to get and it feels like a curse.
Sonic cannot be a good boyfriend. He knows that, no matter how many times Amy's wanted to convince him otherwise. But it's that last set of thoughts that finally gets Sonic to look up at Neo, and...]
...You ever seen yourself?
[It...feels strange, saying that, but a few thoughts flicker through Sonic's mind. Neo's competitive nature, and how he always pushes himself and Sonic in a fight. His tenacity, his dedication to whatever it is he's set his mind to. Images of him in battle, in study, in simpler times between the both of them flash, mostly in battle but even when they're curled up together sometimes--
Before Sonic's face goes pink and it's like a door's been forcibly shut. He's not, he doesn't want to think about that--
You don't give yourself enough credit, Neo. I get it if you don't feel it, but... There's plenty in you to like.]
[There's a tremendous difference between hearing about something, studying something, and seeing it. For all the times he's intensely studied Sonic and his friends, never once has Neo stopped and actually considered their actions. He knows Amy loves Sonic because she says it. Seeing it laid out for him like this - her relentless pursuit, her dedication to the man who saved her, and the feelings Sonic has toward her that slip through the bond...
Is that what love is like? Rather than a foreign concept that he's only heard of in passing, this is something real, something tangible.
—And isn't it a bit comparable to his own situation?
After all, he is entirely dedicated to pursuing Sonic. He would chase him to the ends of the earth and beyond - and that this point it isn't just to ensure Sonic dies at his hands. He can't kill Sonic here in any way that matters, and yet he didn't hesitate to chase him down today, just to see what was troubling him so. And as for dedication? Well, how much more dedicated can one be when their entire existence revolves around another person? Eggman's orders or otherwise, this is what Neo has chosen for himself.
Sonic is the center of his world. Isn't that love?
...Impossible. I do not have feelings. There's no reason to compare our situations at all.
But he's starting to understand why Sonic always runs from Amy. Why he ran from this entire topic of discussion to begin with. Sonic's afraid. He's afraid of not being good enough. Sonic, of all people, being afraid of such a thing... it's truly baffling. The confusion is still present, of course, but it's slowly being outweighed by determination, that Sonic just needs to take a step back to realize he's being so stupid about all of this—
And then Neo's thoughts are abruptly derailed by Sonic's statement.]
...What?
[The sudden force at which Sonic's thoughts are shut from his own mind causes him to recoil a bit. No, that... That makes sense. They're getting too tangled in each other's thoughts, and there are things that are best kept separate, but...
...Ugh. This is doing his head in. Neo finally moves to let Sonic up entirely, moving to sit in the snow beside the hedgehog so he can direct his gaze to the trees rather than Sonic himself. He's starting to see why Sonic didn't want to think about this.
I can't be whatever it is you want me to be. I simply don't have the capacity to feel like others do. But this changes nothing. You understand that, don't you? That no matter what, I will always be your rival. Anyone would be lucky to have you. You'll make someone very happy someday. ...I hope you won't forget me.]
[The door to Sonic's thoughts, his heart--it opens a little bit, as he gets himself settled. He wants to run again, he wants to so badly, but...he doesn't. He's too tired to do so right now, and he wants to stay near Neo. He wants that, even if it just makes the aching in him hurt. When did this start? Sonic doesn't know, but he doesn't look at Neo as he kind of leans back into one of the rocks nearby and looks out at the sky. It's pitch black, speckled full of stars, and Sonic can't help but let his mind wander a bit.
He's not cut out for this. He's never been, and he never will be, but as Neo's thoughts come into his head, something determined in him rises up a bit, though a bit quieter.
Don't get it twisted. I wouldn't want you to be anyone but yourself. ...Appreciate knowing nothing's gonna change, though. I wouldn't want to lose this.
One of Sonic's hands goes to the ground, kind of idly picking up snow and putting it back down again. Anything to help center him a bit. He knows that Neo can't be someone else, and Sonic feels almost insulted that Neo thinks he'd want him to be someone else. Why would he want that, when the Neo in front of him is the one he likes the most?
Sonic's world is big and vast, but there's only one real Neo in it. He's irreplaceable, his irreplaceable rival. Determination wells in him, and Neo might feel Sonic, of all people, starting to shake next to him.
And I wouldn't forget you. The world could try, but there's only one you in it, and I won't let it take you from me. But I think...that's the thing, I think. I don't want something like that. I don't want to compromise. If it means I can't do all of the things I love and with all of the people I care about, I don't want any part in it.
Maybe deep down, he just loves everyone a little too much, but Sonic knows there's something different with Neo here. He doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that things feel like they've shifted, and while their worlds are different, while everything is different now, something has shifted and he knows he won't lose Neo, but there's something else that's getting under his skin--
You've been saying that a lot. That you can't feel anything, that you have no feelings. Who's determination did I feel, then? Who's thrill of the chase? Who's confusion, who's frustration did I feel? ...I've only got one string with me, you know.
It's not quite meant to be a callout, but that last part comes out a little quieter. Or at least if thoughts could have a volume, that one would have been a little softer.]
[Neo's gaze is drawn to Sonic's movements, to the idle gestures in the snow. Vaguely, he wonders if it's too cold now that his organic counterpart isn't running. Well, Sonic will likely let him know if that's the case, and cuddling seems... ill-advised right now given the topic of conversation. So he dismisses that with only a vague sense of embarrassment(?) flickering across the bond before he settles.
The thoughts make it a little clearer why Sonic believes he wouldn't make for a good partner. Compromise seems like something necessary in most relationships, after all. Sonic is - and always will be - himself, and he's the sort of person who is set in his ways and thoughts. But how could that be a bad thing, when at the end of the day he's Sonic? Those ways and thoughts of his are for the greater good, for helping others and reaching out to everyone around him - how could anyone want to argue with that? Those who would want Sonic to settle down and stay in one place would be stealing an important part of who he is from him - they wouldn't be worthy of him in the first place.
Aside from some vague feelings of discontentment regarding those thoughts, there is the matter of... well. That. Because yes, Sonic does only have one string, and if he's been experiencing such things then—
Robots have no need of feelings. I was not designed with the ability to feel. Therefore, I cannot feel. That's simply how it is.
But uncertainty follows that. Because he knows how easily that can be disproven. He wasn't designed to go and overthrow Eggman and take over his fleet. He wasn't designed to turn himself into a giant metal dragon to try to kill Sonic. He wasn't designed to make the decision to play nice and turn this hatred into a rivalry—
Though it's a bit hard to say with all certainty that he feels nothing when so many of his decisions were made in haste because of that hatred.
This time it's Neo's turn to try to forcibly shut their connection down as he turns his gaze back out to the trees, though he doesn't do a particularly good job of it.
It's easier if I don't feel. Then I don't have to understand what my feelings for you are.]
[Sonic feels that uncertainty, in all of this. It's...strange, but Sonic isn't surprised in the slightest; how long has Neo simply existed on drive alone? Existed only to follow orders, existed only to kill him, existed with the constant looming threat of being scrapped by Eggman if he did not succeed. This is the first time Neo's really existed for himself, too, and this is...
It's not fair, to put him through this. It almost makes Sonic want to leave, to put this under the rug and not think about it, but that's only hurt them both so many times. They can't keep doing this, and Sonic's determination builds slowly, as if gently knocking on the door to Neo's heart. The one he'd so fervently deny that he has.
I know. I get it, and I feel the same way. And I'm sorry for putting this mess on you. It's not fair to you. But isn't ignoring this just going to hurt us both?
Sonic pauses a bit, the shaking not abating, but the hand in the snow ceases it's movements. The other hand, the one closer to Neo, tentatively moves, and...
You're wrong. You can do anything you set that big brain of yours to, Neo. We've both seen it time and time again, haven't we? There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with going against how you were made, and making something new of yourself.
...He moves to try and take one of Neo's hands in his own, shakily, but with a firm resolve if allowed.
...I don't know if the stuff going on inside my head really is what they're all calling...that. I still don't know if I get it. What we are, what any of this is. But I think, in an ideal world...
Even in thinking, he can't bring himself to use that dreaded four letter word.
Sonic's thoughts drift to an ideal world. A world where he has a partner who can test his worth and prove a challenge to him. They can race throughout the world, finding new places to go, to enjoy, to just be themselves in. They can take on anything that comes their way, and they can enjoy life for all it is. They can compete with each other, fight each other, and still come out of it happy. They could even go their own ways for a time if they want that, to experience the world on their own terms, to make their own stories.
And at the end of it all, they could come back to see each other and share the stories they've created. Right back into each other's arms and embrace, the only real home they'd ever need.
...It's a cute fantasy. Sonic knows it can't be a reality, but somehow, his heart aches for it as that thought ends up transferred through their bond.
I can't think of anyone else I'd want to share this with.
...
You're the greatest rival I've ever had, Neo, and I've got no intention of changing things between us. But...thanks. For hearing me overthink, at least. Means a lot.
Sonic isn't going to force this. How could he, when Neo has barely had time to make his own life outside of all he's known? There's so much in this beautiful world and many others for Neo to see, he's sure of it. Neo deserves to see it.
There's an old phrase that Sonic's heard at least once in his life, from the place he used to come from, and it rings true even now.
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you...it is yours."
If he really does love Neo...he's willing to let him go.]
[Making something new of himself. Reshaping himself to be better, stronger, to enhance his natural strengths over his rival and to ensure that this time, this time he'd come out on top—
All of this has been his own decision. From the moment he prioritized Sonic's destruction over Eggman's orders, he's been living his own life. No matter how many times he's tried to convince himself of it, he isn't solely a machine of war. Things that he once deemed weaknesses are what make him Neo, and Sonic likes those things about him. To discard them so carelessly would be to change himself beyond recognition. And he... doesn't want that.
He's still not entirely sure what he does want. It's hard to imagine a future at all, even if it is one where he does succeed at finally killing his rival, because Sonic... Sonic isn't supposed to die. If Sonic dies, then where does that leave Neo? He won't have anything to pursue anymore. He won't have the center of his world. How can a world exist for him without Sonic?
Sonic's thoughts are overwhelming, but that dream of an ideal future, one where they are bound together yet free to pursue their own desires, ever returning to one another—]
And what if it never wants to leave to begin with?
[He doesn't need to communicate this through thoughts. No, that's not quite right. He doesn't want to communicate it that way. Neo gave himself a voice; he may as well make damn good use of it.]
I will always be yours; that will never change. No matter where we go, no matter what we... feel for one another, that remains the same. I do not care what we call it - what we have now is...
[it's everything I could ever want.
He seizes Sonic's hand then, the movement sudden, forceful, and his grip is tight like he isn't going to let Sonic have a chance to escape.]
You say I am capable of feelings. Then you should already know how much you mean to me.
[Of course Neo isn't good at expressing it, how could he be, when he's done nothing but delude himself into thinking that all those feelings are nothing? But here and now, with the bond able to share them so easily, he can express all of that and so much more without the need for cumbersome words that could never hope to capture it anyway.
Sonic can infuriate him and rile him up like none other, but he values that; their rivalry means everything to him. Spending time like this, even without any sort of competition or challenge is comforting. Neo looks forward to the silence between them in the evenings, when they do nothing in particular but cuddle on the couch and chat about their days. He likes hearing Sonic talk - of all the things he's seen and wants to see, of all the places he's been and people he's met. He feels happy, the happiest he's ever been capable of feeling, because he knows that his rival will be waiting for him, and that Sonic will push him to better himself no matter how many times he gets caught in his own circling thoughts and doubts. He's frustrated that he can't help or express this with his own words, but thankful for the bond existing to share all of this with Sonic, who needs to know just how damn important he is.
He's the center of Neo's world. He always has been.
He always will be.
And it doesn't matter what that feeling is called, because Neo likes it and doesn't want to let it go.]
[Sonic's about to put all of his thoughts in his heart and move on from this crisis. He's not sure if things will go back to normal, but he has a feeling they will; things always have a tendency to work out, and even if it hurts for a bit, there's so much in this beautiful world to take in and they'll still push each other. He can stuff the feelings away and pretend they don't exist, probably never finding someone for him, and he'll never probably find anyone of his own but that's okay. The world is vast and full of great things he can pick up along the way.
It's freeing to at least let Neo know of those feelings in him, whether he truly knows what they are or not.
Things can finally go back to normal, and maybe with any luck, they haven't missed the festival and can have some fun there. There were all sorts of games that Sonic wanted to show Neo, ones he was sure Neo would be able to make all too easy and compete against Sonic in, and maybe win some prizes, and--
"And what if it never wants to leave to begin with?"
[It feels like a flood of everything, all at once. Neo's speaking up again, using that voice of his to communicate rather than his thoughts, but there's the overwhelming thoughts too, that tell so much. They tell a lot of things to Sonic, and in truth, they're a little overwhelming, but...
Each word, each affirmation, Sonic's heart feels a little lighter. Something in his heart swells at them, knowing Neo wants to be his. That this is truly everything that he's wanted, that Sonic wasn't just forcing feelings from his own heart onto the robot who's still trying to learn how to lead a life of his own. That he'd choose to come back, that he doesn't know what the future holds either or what they are, but that all remains the same.
Neo seizes his hand, and Sonic's mouth is slightly agape as he stares at Neo with wide eyes. He's never been made to feel like this before, so thoroughly surprised by those feelings being reciprocated so strongly, and it's strange. Amy's always had all of these flowery words for what it feels like to be in love, how it strikes the heart, and he never thought he could feel the same way. The shock persists for a while, Sonic doing everything to process what's in front of him.
He's...really the center of Neo's world, and it doesn't feel anything but wonderful to know of that. To feel everything that Neo feels, he knew Neo wasn't as cold of a machine as he made himself out to be, but he feels all of it right now, and...]
[Neo enjoys the time that they spend together, whether they compete or not; even those moments of comfortable silence, those times that Sonic has always wondered whether they were boring or not to Neo, he enjoys those too. All of these inane things, all of those things that have made Sonic into who he is, made him so human, Neo enjoys those things just as much as he does.
He enjoys their rivalry. He enjoys competing with him, but Neo also enjoys the things that make Sonic him. He doesn't even mind all of those little nudges into helping Neo find his own humanity, his own feelings and purpose, and...
It's all so overwhelming, but the joy that Sonic feels in knowing this--every bit of it, of knowing how happy he makes Neo, who deserves happiness, deserves his own life and joys, it's overwhelming to the point of aching. Neo will likely feel that through the bond as Sonic's face shifts from one of shock to one of pure joy; surprised at first, but slowly shifting to a genuine, all encompassing joy, it's all so much, knowing just how important he is to Neo, knowing how much he--
Sonic doesn't even hesitate for a second to pull Neo into a tight hug. One that's almost overwhelming in it's force, in it's joy and enthusiasm, in everything that Neo has made all too clear to him now, that he couldn't be happier to know.
For once in his life, Sonic is silent, though Neo can likely feel him shaking a bit as he buries his face into the other hedgehog's shoulder; if you feel anything wet there, no you don't. He's totally not tearing up a bit, honest, he hates tears, but...
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You've made me the happiest guy in this world and any other. I can't put it into words right now, but... Thank you, Neo. My greatest rival.
Sonic's own feelings are overwhelming and overjoyed, and they simply come through as those same two words again and again. He's thankful that Neo feels similarly. He's thankful that Neo is choosing this of his own accord, that this is his decision and he'd never leave. He's thankful to be the center of Neo's world, to know that the robotic hedgehog cares so much for him, yet would always be here to clash with him.
He's so thankful that Neo has become himself, and that Sonic can be a part of that beautiful journey alongside him.
[For once, Neo doesn't find himself questioning his actions and words and worrying if they were wrong, or too much, or not enough. For once, he allows Sonic to take all that in without overthinking. He doesn't have to worry, because he can feel everything Sonic does, and he knows that Sonic isn't upset or displeased by this - because how could he be? This is what he wants as well.
Neo's already shifted energy to his core so that when Sonic hugs him, he's in the process of warming up. He wouldn't want to risk freezing his beloved rival to death, now would he?
You don't need words. I already know how you feel. You're very good at expressing it, at making sure I know.
His grip is tight against Sonic's back, but the hand that comes up to the back of his rival's head is gentle, stroking those quills absently as he inclines his head, pressing into Sonic's space both so he can nuzzle against him and...
Well, he doesn't have a mouth to kiss with, but that's what he'd be doing if he did.]
Sonic can't help but chuckle a bit at that, the sound bright and warm through their shared link as Sonic feels himself starting to cozy himself right into Neo as he feels his rival warm up. A physical manifestation of the warmth in both of them right now, and Sonic just wants to be enveloped in that beautiful warmth for a while and forget the world exists...
But Neo's hand gently pets those quills as he feels Neo incline his head into Sonic's space, and he'll bring his head up in kind--feeling Neo nuzzle into him like that gets a bit of a chuckle, before he feels his heart skip a beat at the realization.
...He's gonna have to ask Neo if he ever wants to see about getting a proper mouth at some point, but as it stands, Sonic's expression brightens overwhelmingly at Neo taking the initiative, and he returns the favor by reciprocating the kiss he so desperately craves, that he can return just as fervent and lovingly.
Even out here, in this cold forest, Sonic's never felt more at home than in his rival's arms. It's a feeling Sonic hopes he can transfer to Neo, in a way--that feeling of home. Of belonging in one place and one place alone, a place that's just for the two of them right now. Because Neo isn't the only one who wants to make his feelings known.]
[Ah, he really is so obvious about it... c-cute... He's pleased he could get across what he wanted, especially without the use of words or their shared link to make it obvious. This is really nice. Though in some ways nothing has changed at all, it does feel different now that there's a name to put to the flurry of feelings that come with the proximity to his beloved rival.]
Thank you. [I know it was difficult.] I've learned much today. I want nothing more than to remain right here with you, but...
[His gaze turns skyward; though they're quite a ways out from the festival, the fireworks that have just started are still visible against the night sky.]
...Perhaps we should head back. I don't want you to be too cold out here.
[Sonic chuckles a bit once the sound of the fireworks hit his ears, and he looks to Neo once the other hedgehog puts that out there.]
Awww, you really do care after all! [It was never in question. Promise. Sonic chuckles a bit, a little sad he has to get up from his boyfriend's warm space, but holding out a hand for Neo with a grin.] Not that I'd really ever be cold with you around, but I'm thinking getting back into town where the warm is will be a good idea, yeah. There might still be some cool games going on at the festival, too, if we get there quick.
Race you there? [...] Or...should we take our time, you think?
[Either way's fine by him. Neo's already expended enough energy today chasing after Sonic--they can take it at whatever pace Neo wants tonight.]
[Neo nuzzles against Sonic again at that, though he allows his rival to get up, taking Sonic's hand when it's offered to him.]
You already know my answer.
[And then, without even waiting for Sonic to respond, Neo fires up his jets and zips off. After all, how could he ever turn down another opportunity to race his rival? Even though there's no chance he'll win, he always, always strives to be better than Sonic.
And the amusement present through the bond makes it clear that he is not sorry at all about cheating to get a head start.]
You know, Sonic isn't sure what he should've expected, but it absolutely should've been that. Sonic's laughter is loud and bright and catching up fast to Neo as his own amusement and competitive spirit is made apparent, and truly?
He's the happiest man alive, with the best boyfriend he could ever ask for. And as they make it back to the festival, he doesn't care what anyone else thinks, because they're both happy and that's what matters most.]
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But he isn't willing to let Sonic deal with this on his own. He's going to have to return to the apartment and deal with Neo eventually, and it's just going to drive his thoughts back into endless circles if he doesn't ask Sonic what the hell is going on now. After all, he's chased him out here. Sonic likely is still within the forest; he can only push himself so hard with his feeble, fleshy body, after all.
Sonic thankfully won't have to deal with any more intruding emotions or thoughts right now, as Neo's firmly shifted over into hunting mode. He has tracked Sonic before. He knows better than anyone how to find his counterpart. It's only a matter of patience and persistence.
He doesn't bother using his jets this time, instead walking on foot as he carefully studies his surroundings. Sonic has left traces behind for those observant enough to follow - and it isn't long before his hearing picks up on that breathing.
(Though what exactly is camping? How can he have a thought about something he's never heard of before? That must belong to Sonic.)
Neo doesn't bother trying to quiet his approach. He does raise his voice over the sound of twigs crunching beneath his feet, though.]
Continue running if you must, but I won't stop chasing you.
[...okay he might kind of enjoy the chase a little bit—]
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As Neo gets closer, he'll be able to hear what feels like strangely strangled thoughts. Sonic's thoughts are all over the place, really, a storm of frustration and anxiety--though as he gets closer, it's the self loathing that manages to stay at the forefront of his current thoughts, and...
--deserves better. He deserves better than--
--only going to mess this up--
--if they're right--
--be a good boyfriend. That's not what we--
--are we?
And yet...it's strange--is he...starting to enjoy making Neo chase him down? Sonic hears some surprisingly heavy treads crunching through the snow, and for a moment he mercifully thinks there's a monster there that he can fight.
And then Neo speaks up and Sonic's about ready to turn tail and run again.]
You should. Come on, Neo, knock it off--
[...And there he goes again, though it seems he isn't fully recovered this time as he starts to dart off--a little slower, this time. He'll still be giving it his all, but it seems the chase is on once again. You're getting closer--!]
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Sonic—
[And there he goes again. Getting stuck thinking about this is going to get him nowhere. There another spike of his own anxiety and frustration - not aimed at Sonic, but rather at the situation, at Neo's own inability to understand - and he's off. He can continue to push himself just as hard as before because he's a robot, he has plenty of charge left and his boosters can go for quite awhile. So though it'll take him a bit, he'll eventually catch up to Sonic as his organic counterpart starts to slow.]
I would gladly race you had you asked.
[And with a final burst of speed and the thrill of victory flickering through the bond, Neo just tries to tackle Sonic like a goddamn madman?? Neo please, you are made of metal and spikes.
Stop running; I won't let you leave me behind.]
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Neo's voice once again brings Sonic back into reality, and anxiety spikes again because Neo absolutely has enough energy to spare. He's absolutely in trouble.]
This isn't meant to be a--augh!
[Sonic makes the frankly stupid (though likely safest) decision to turn around and face Neo, and Neo succeeds in tackling Sonic into the snow. It's a little painful, but losing like this--losing for real, it stings a little bit. He really should've actually taken care of himself sooner, he'd have won this without missing a beat otherwise.
But worse still are the thoughts that Neo picks up as Sonic opens his eyes, gaze averting a bit.
Well, smooth move, Sonic. Now look what you did.
How do you explain this to him?
...At least from down here, he looks pretty han--
Aaaaaand he is dropping that thought nice and quick, thank you very much!!! But...something about what he feels in that bond, it's strange. Neo...he's really not going to leave this alone, is he?
Well. Sonic can at least do him the basic decency of not struggling.]
...I wasn't trying to race, Neo. I...
[The words Sonic needs to say don't come out, and if anything, he clams up as anxiety takes hold once again.]
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This wasn't a proper competition. If it had been, Neo wouldn't have won. But the fact is that he did win, and there's no denying the pride that seeps through the bond.
My first victory. Finally, finally I've beaten him.
A shame it isn't a real victory.
Sonic's thoughts flicker through his head and the latter one almost makes him want to press but... no. No, better just to leave that well enough alone, Sonic's stressed out enough without worrying about getting his thoughts all over Neo.
Now that Sonic's not struggling to get away, Neo sits back on his knees, releasing his grip on Sonic's wrists. He does remain hovering over his doppelganger, knees on either side of Sonic's legs so he's not fully free to go.
Don't push yourself any further.
I'm not letting you go because you'll just run again.]
I know you weren't. If you had been, you would have beat me.
[There's no emotion following it; it simply is what it is. That much makes sense, at least.]
But you should know better than to try to escape me. If you need some alone time, all you need to do is ask.
[I don't want to leave you alone like this.
Tell me what's wrong.
Who hurt you like this? Who do I need to kill?]
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Sonic hasn't really given a lot of thought to what the strings actually do, in hindsight--yet another one of those things where he just kind of assumes things will be okay and not weird. (He's been. Wrong about many of those kind of things, especially today.) But having Neo so close, even when he's just pinning him down like this, it feels like he's hearing Neo's thoughts so clearly, it's...
You can count it as one if you want, you know.
It's more of an active thought in response, and it feels...strange, to try and convey feeling that way. Despite how anxious Sonic feels, something Neo can definitely pick up on in spades now, Sonic doesn't move to get up from the ground and just kind of lays there, looking anywhere but at Neo right now.]
...I probably should've, yeah. [...] I just really needed to get some space, at the time. Everything was just kind of starting to pile up, and I wasn't...
[The thoughts aren't exactly clear, but they come through in the bond--a steadily increasing anxiety that persisted throughout the day, because of people. Those two women running the compatibility counter, some of the people he asked about how these strings worked, even the last two people who seemed like they were teasing him for the complicated feelings he's been having. It all just kind of added up, all at once, and...
It's those last few thoughts, that almost feel like a communication back, that get a pause out of Sonic. Neo's actually asking about it, and it's everything he doesn't want to acknowledge because everything was just fine until this happened, it was all fine until he--]
...I don't know if I can even explain it, Neo. I think I'm taking a page out of your book, at this point...
[How can I explain anything when I don't even know what's wrong with me?]
...If you hurt anyone, I won't forgive you, though. Leave them out of it. This is...
This is between us, alright?
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...Understood.
[I'm not trying to upset you or make it worse.
It's simply that he is a killer robot who solves most of his problems with murder. If murder is not the solution, then he really does not know how to address it.
The thoughts send a wave of something through the bond - a burst of tangled, confused emotions that fade away as quickly as they come. Frustration, anger, confusion, and desperation to know, to understand... but he knows better than anyone that sometimes it's just impossible to put those thoughts into words, even if your brain is directly connected to your voice.]
You aren't the sort to overthink things. [Don't take that page from my book.] Tell me what's on your mind.
[I'll listen, no matter what it is.]
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...I really do appreciate it.
Sonic feels those tangled, strange emotions--he's sure of it now, that Neo can feel his thoughts, and it makes him want to balk a bit. To force himself to think of literally anything else, but that isn't fair to Neo. That isn't fair to Neo, who's trying. He's trying so damned hard for him right now, kind of like...
There's a vague thought, that this feels similar to the conversation they had after Sonic kissed Neo and tried to actually communicated for once. He's still not good at it, but Neo has always at least tried to listen, tried for his sake. It's...is this fair to Neo, to keep running away from him like this again? After Sonic tried so hard to get him out of his shell...
Neo can likely feel a couple of things at once, in their bond. An acknowledgement, that he knows--and that he's sorry. For many things, really, but mostly for running.]
...I talked to a bunch of people while I was helping them set up the festival goodies. Just...kind of wanting to understand more about this place, you know? I thought it was kind of funny that we ended up getting connected like this, and...
[Voices that aren't his play through his thoughts.
"Awww, you two are so adorable we can't stand it!"
"Yeah! Your compatibility has to be easily 100%!"
"Those strings manifest in people with strong bonds, but they typically appear most strongly in those who care for each other."
"In those that love each other, mostly."
"Come on, stop trying to act cool about all of this!"
"Yeah, anyone can see it with you two. You're in L-O-V-E love, buddy!"
"Sonic and Ne~o, sittin' in a tree--"
It's that last one that sees Sonic's grip go into the snow, his entire body language tightening up in response to those thoughts. There's an attempt at communicating what happened, at least, to push him over the edge. It's definitely a lot, but it feels like he's only scratching the surface--it feels connected to a lot of other thoughts, that these brought to the forefront. But Sonic's expression seems drained, and he still can't quite look Neo in the eye despite it all.]
...Truth is, I don't know how true all of that is. It's been making me think a lot about stuff. About...us, I guess.
[It was all simple before.
Even after getting all kissy faced and stuff, it felt like it made sense, at least to me.
I don't know when it stopped.]
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Sonic can likely feel the confusion seeping in, particularly as the others' words spell it out more and more blatantly. Love. That is what this entire holiday is about, isn't it? Romantic love between two people who care deeply for one another and may very well spend the rest of their lives together. Romantic love is what leads to forming partnerships and families, having offspring together and supporting one another through the most difficult times.
But that doesn't apply to them. They are rivals. Whatever feelings Sonic have toward him can't be romantic, because that doesn't make sense. Amy would be a far more suitable match, where Sonic to even be looking for something like that in the first place, given that she does nothing but talk about how much she loves Sonic.]
...What is there to think about?
[It's not meant to be harsh, but Neo can't see how one connects to the other here. After all...
I am incapable of feeling anything, let alone something as complicated and confusing as "love".
Sonic would never "love" me because there is nothing to love.
Isn't it that simple?]
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Am I just forcing my feelings onto him, whatever they are?
I like what we have. I wouldn't exchange it for anything, and I don't care what the world thinks.
Why? Why am I so focused on this, why am I--]
A lot, actually?
[Another thought plays, this one...this one a bit longer and further back than the others.
The two of them are pretty young when they first meet. Sonic saved Amy from something a long time ago, and Amy's been following him ever since. No matter how many times Sonic says that she needs to stay safe, stay put. She pursues relentlessly towards him, obsessively, trying to get him to marry her and Sonic wants no part of it.
It's not even that Sonic dislikes Amy. She's a pretty stand-up gal who goes out of her way to help people, and cares a lot in her own overly ready to use a hammer to solve her problems kind of way. It's what love feels like it means for Sonic that's the issue.
The thoughts are more vague at this point. Longing, for traveling and for exploring new places, that he couldn't because of love. Getting bored or going off on his own, and someone's heartbroken face at such a thing. You can't just leave someone you love, and expecting them to keep pace with him feels even worse. They could get upset, they could get homesick, it all just feels too complicated for him to get and it feels like a curse.
Sonic cannot be a good boyfriend. He knows that, no matter how many times Amy's wanted to convince him otherwise. But it's that last set of thoughts that finally gets Sonic to look up at Neo, and...]
...You ever seen yourself?
[It...feels strange, saying that, but a few thoughts flicker through Sonic's mind. Neo's competitive nature, and how he always pushes himself and Sonic in a fight. His tenacity, his dedication to whatever it is he's set his mind to. Images of him in battle, in study, in simpler times between the both of them flash, mostly in battle but even when they're curled up together sometimes--
Before Sonic's face goes pink and it's like a door's been forcibly shut. He's not, he doesn't want to think about that--
You don't give yourself enough credit, Neo.
I get it if you don't feel it, but...
There's plenty in you to like.]
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Is that what love is like? Rather than a foreign concept that he's only heard of in passing, this is something real, something tangible.
—And isn't it a bit comparable to his own situation?
After all, he is entirely dedicated to pursuing Sonic. He would chase him to the ends of the earth and beyond - and that this point it isn't just to ensure Sonic dies at his hands. He can't kill Sonic here in any way that matters, and yet he didn't hesitate to chase him down today, just to see what was troubling him so. And as for dedication? Well, how much more dedicated can one be when their entire existence revolves around another person? Eggman's orders or otherwise, this is what Neo has chosen for himself.
Sonic is the center of his world. Isn't that love?
...Impossible. I do not have feelings.
There's no reason to compare our situations at all.
But he's starting to understand why Sonic always runs from Amy. Why he ran from this entire topic of discussion to begin with. Sonic's afraid. He's afraid of not being good enough. Sonic, of all people, being afraid of such a thing... it's truly baffling. The confusion is still present, of course, but it's slowly being outweighed by determination, that Sonic just needs to take a step back to realize he's being so stupid about all of this—
And then Neo's thoughts are abruptly derailed by Sonic's statement.]
...What?
[The sudden force at which Sonic's thoughts are shut from his own mind causes him to recoil a bit. No, that... That makes sense. They're getting too tangled in each other's thoughts, and there are things that are best kept separate, but...
...Ugh. This is doing his head in. Neo finally moves to let Sonic up entirely, moving to sit in the snow beside the hedgehog so he can direct his gaze to the trees rather than Sonic himself. He's starting to see why Sonic didn't want to think about this.
I can't be whatever it is you want me to be. I simply don't have the capacity to feel like others do.
But this changes nothing. You understand that, don't you?
That no matter what, I will always be your rival.
Anyone would be lucky to have you.
You'll make someone very happy someday.
...I hope you won't forget me.]
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He's not cut out for this. He's never been, and he never will be, but as Neo's thoughts come into his head, something determined in him rises up a bit, though a bit quieter.
Don't get it twisted.
I wouldn't want you to be anyone but yourself.
...Appreciate knowing nothing's gonna change, though.
I wouldn't want to lose this.
One of Sonic's hands goes to the ground, kind of idly picking up snow and putting it back down again. Anything to help center him a bit. He knows that Neo can't be someone else, and Sonic feels almost insulted that Neo thinks he'd want him to be someone else. Why would he want that, when the Neo in front of him is the one he likes the most?
Sonic's world is big and vast, but there's only one real Neo in it. He's irreplaceable, his irreplaceable rival. Determination wells in him, and Neo might feel Sonic, of all people, starting to shake next to him.
And I wouldn't forget you.
The world could try, but there's only one you in it, and I won't let it take you from me.
But I think...that's the thing, I think.
I don't want something like that.
I don't want to compromise.
If it means I can't do all of the things I love and with all of the people I care about, I don't want any part in it.
Maybe deep down, he just loves everyone a little too much, but Sonic knows there's something different with Neo here. He doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that things feel like they've shifted, and while their worlds are different, while everything is different now, something has shifted and he knows he won't lose Neo, but there's something else that's getting under his skin--
You've been saying that a lot.
That you can't feel anything, that you have no feelings.
Who's determination did I feel, then?
Who's thrill of the chase? Who's confusion, who's frustration did I feel?
...I've only got one string with me, you know.
It's not quite meant to be a callout, but that last part comes out a little quieter. Or at least if thoughts could have a volume, that one would have been a little softer.]
no subject
The thoughts make it a little clearer why Sonic believes he wouldn't make for a good partner. Compromise seems like something necessary in most relationships, after all. Sonic is - and always will be - himself, and he's the sort of person who is set in his ways and thoughts. But how could that be a bad thing, when at the end of the day he's Sonic? Those ways and thoughts of his are for the greater good, for helping others and reaching out to everyone around him - how could anyone want to argue with that? Those who would want Sonic to settle down and stay in one place would be stealing an important part of who he is from him - they wouldn't be worthy of him in the first place.
Aside from some vague feelings of discontentment regarding those thoughts, there is the matter of... well. That. Because yes, Sonic does only have one string, and if he's been experiencing such things then—
Robots have no need of feelings.
I was not designed with the ability to feel.
Therefore, I cannot feel. That's simply how it is.
But uncertainty follows that. Because he knows how easily that can be disproven. He wasn't designed to go and overthrow Eggman and take over his fleet. He wasn't designed to turn himself into a giant metal dragon to try to kill Sonic. He wasn't designed to make the decision to play nice and turn this hatred into a rivalry—
Though it's a bit hard to say with all certainty that he feels nothing when so many of his decisions were made in haste because of that hatred.
This time it's Neo's turn to try to forcibly shut their connection down as he turns his gaze back out to the trees, though he doesn't do a particularly good job of it.
It's easier if I don't feel.
Then I don't have to understand what my feelings for you are.]
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It's not fair, to put him through this. It almost makes Sonic want to leave, to put this under the rug and not think about it, but that's only hurt them both so many times. They can't keep doing this, and Sonic's determination builds slowly, as if gently knocking on the door to Neo's heart. The one he'd so fervently deny that he has.
I know. I get it, and I feel the same way.
And I'm sorry for putting this mess on you.
It's not fair to you.
But isn't ignoring this just going to hurt us both?
Sonic pauses a bit, the shaking not abating, but the hand in the snow ceases it's movements. The other hand, the one closer to Neo, tentatively moves, and...
You're wrong.
You can do anything you set that big brain of yours to, Neo. We've both seen it time and time again, haven't we?
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with going against how you were made, and making something new of yourself.
...He moves to try and take one of Neo's hands in his own, shakily, but with a firm resolve if allowed.
...I don't know if the stuff going on inside my head really is what they're all calling...that.
I still don't know if I get it.
What we are, what any of this is.
But I think, in an ideal world...
Even in thinking, he can't bring himself to use that dreaded four letter word.
Sonic's thoughts drift to an ideal world. A world where he has a partner who can test his worth and prove a challenge to him. They can race throughout the world, finding new places to go, to enjoy, to just be themselves in. They can take on anything that comes their way, and they can enjoy life for all it is. They can compete with each other, fight each other, and still come out of it happy. They could even go their own ways for a time if they want that, to experience the world on their own terms, to make their own stories.
And at the end of it all, they could come back to see each other and share the stories they've created. Right back into each other's arms and embrace, the only real home they'd ever need.
...It's a cute fantasy. Sonic knows it can't be a reality, but somehow, his heart aches for it as that thought ends up transferred through their bond.
I can't think of anyone else I'd want to share this with.
...
You're the greatest rival I've ever had, Neo, and I've got no intention of changing things between us.
But...thanks.
For hearing me overthink, at least.
Means a lot.
Sonic isn't going to force this. How could he, when Neo has barely had time to make his own life outside of all he's known? There's so much in this beautiful world and many others for Neo to see, he's sure of it. Neo deserves to see it.
There's an old phrase that Sonic's heard at least once in his life, from the place he used to come from, and it rings true even now.
"If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you...it is yours."
If he really does love Neo...he's willing to let him go.]
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All of this has been his own decision. From the moment he prioritized Sonic's destruction over Eggman's orders, he's been living his own life. No matter how many times he's tried to convince himself of it, he isn't solely a machine of war. Things that he once deemed weaknesses are what make him Neo, and Sonic likes those things about him. To discard them so carelessly would be to change himself beyond recognition. And he... doesn't want that.
He's still not entirely sure what he does want. It's hard to imagine a future at all, even if it is one where he does succeed at finally killing his rival, because Sonic... Sonic isn't supposed to die. If Sonic dies, then where does that leave Neo? He won't have anything to pursue anymore. He won't have the center of his world. How can a world exist for him without Sonic?
Sonic's thoughts are overwhelming, but that dream of an ideal future, one where they are bound together yet free to pursue their own desires, ever returning to one another—]
And what if it never wants to leave to begin with?
[He doesn't need to communicate this through thoughts. No, that's not quite right. He doesn't want to communicate it that way. Neo gave himself a voice; he may as well make damn good use of it.]
I will always be yours; that will never change. No matter where we go, no matter what we... feel for one another, that remains the same. I do not care what we call it - what we have now is...
[it's everything I could ever want.
He seizes Sonic's hand then, the movement sudden, forceful, and his grip is tight like he isn't going to let Sonic have a chance to escape.]
You say I am capable of feelings. Then you should already know how much you mean to me.
[Of course Neo isn't good at expressing it, how could he be, when he's done nothing but delude himself into thinking that all those feelings are nothing? But here and now, with the bond able to share them so easily, he can express all of that and so much more without the need for cumbersome words that could never hope to capture it anyway.
Sonic can infuriate him and rile him up like none other, but he values that; their rivalry means everything to him. Spending time like this, even without any sort of competition or challenge is comforting. Neo looks forward to the silence between them in the evenings, when they do nothing in particular but cuddle on the couch and chat about their days. He likes hearing Sonic talk - of all the things he's seen and wants to see, of all the places he's been and people he's met. He feels happy, the happiest he's ever been capable of feeling, because he knows that his rival will be waiting for him, and that Sonic will push him to better himself no matter how many times he gets caught in his own circling thoughts and doubts. He's frustrated that he can't help or express this with his own words, but thankful for the bond existing to share all of this with Sonic, who needs to know just how damn important he is.
He's the center of Neo's world. He always has been.
He always will be.
And it doesn't matter what that feeling is called, because Neo likes it and doesn't want to let it go.]
1/3
It's freeing to at least let Neo know of those feelings in him, whether he truly knows what they are or not.
Things can finally go back to normal, and maybe with any luck, they haven't missed the festival and can have some fun there. There were all sorts of games that Sonic wanted to show Neo, ones he was sure Neo would be able to make all too easy and compete against Sonic in, and maybe win some prizes, and--
"And what if it never wants to leave to begin with?"
Neo's words stop Sonic's brain in it's tracks.]
2/3
[It feels like a flood of everything, all at once. Neo's speaking up again, using that voice of his to communicate rather than his thoughts, but there's the overwhelming thoughts too, that tell so much. They tell a lot of things to Sonic, and in truth, they're a little overwhelming, but...
Each word, each affirmation, Sonic's heart feels a little lighter. Something in his heart swells at them, knowing Neo wants to be his. That this is truly everything that he's wanted, that Sonic wasn't just forcing feelings from his own heart onto the robot who's still trying to learn how to lead a life of his own. That he'd choose to come back, that he doesn't know what the future holds either or what they are, but that all remains the same.
Neo seizes his hand, and Sonic's mouth is slightly agape as he stares at Neo with wide eyes. He's never been made to feel like this before, so thoroughly surprised by those feelings being reciprocated so strongly, and it's strange. Amy's always had all of these flowery words for what it feels like to be in love, how it strikes the heart, and he never thought he could feel the same way. The shock persists for a while, Sonic doing everything to process what's in front of him.
He's...really the center of Neo's world, and it doesn't feel anything but wonderful to know of that. To feel everything that Neo feels, he knew Neo wasn't as cold of a machine as he made himself out to be, but he feels all of it right now, and...]
3/3
He enjoys their rivalry. He enjoys competing with him, but Neo also enjoys the things that make Sonic him. He doesn't even mind all of those little nudges into helping Neo find his own humanity, his own feelings and purpose, and...
It's all so overwhelming, but the joy that Sonic feels in knowing this--every bit of it, of knowing how happy he makes Neo, who deserves happiness, deserves his own life and joys, it's overwhelming to the point of aching. Neo will likely feel that through the bond as Sonic's face shifts from one of shock to one of pure joy; surprised at first, but slowly shifting to a genuine, all encompassing joy, it's all so much, knowing just how important he is to Neo, knowing how much he--
Sonic doesn't even hesitate for a second to pull Neo into a tight hug. One that's almost overwhelming in it's force, in it's joy and enthusiasm, in everything that Neo has made all too clear to him now, that he couldn't be happier to know.
For once in his life, Sonic is silent, though Neo can likely feel him shaking a bit as he buries his face into the other hedgehog's shoulder; if you feel anything wet there, no you don't. He's totally not tearing up a bit, honest, he hates tears, but...
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You've made me the happiest guy in this world and any other.
I can't put it into words right now, but...
Thank you, Neo.
My greatest rival.
Sonic's own feelings are overwhelming and overjoyed, and they simply come through as those same two words again and again. He's thankful that Neo feels similarly. He's thankful that Neo is choosing this of his own accord, that this is his decision and he'd never leave. He's thankful to be the center of Neo's world, to know that the robotic hedgehog cares so much for him, yet would always be here to clash with him.
He's so thankful that Neo has become himself, and that Sonic can be a part of that beautiful journey alongside him.
Does Sonic love Neo?
Yes.]
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Neo's already shifted energy to his core so that when Sonic hugs him, he's in the process of warming up. He wouldn't want to risk freezing his beloved rival to death, now would he?
You don't need words. I already know how you feel.
You're very good at expressing it, at making sure I know.
His grip is tight against Sonic's back, but the hand that comes up to the back of his rival's head is gentle, stroking those quills absently as he inclines his head, pressing into Sonic's space both so he can nuzzle against him and...
Well, he doesn't have a mouth to kiss with, but that's what he'd be doing if he did.]
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Sonic can't help but chuckle a bit at that, the sound bright and warm through their shared link as Sonic feels himself starting to cozy himself right into Neo as he feels his rival warm up. A physical manifestation of the warmth in both of them right now, and Sonic just wants to be enveloped in that beautiful warmth for a while and forget the world exists...
But Neo's hand gently pets those quills as he feels Neo incline his head into Sonic's space, and he'll bring his head up in kind--feeling Neo nuzzle into him like that gets a bit of a chuckle, before he feels his heart skip a beat at the realization.
...He's gonna have to ask Neo if he ever wants to see about getting a proper mouth at some point, but as it stands, Sonic's expression brightens overwhelmingly at Neo taking the initiative, and he returns the favor by reciprocating the kiss he so desperately craves, that he can return just as fervent and lovingly.
Even out here, in this cold forest, Sonic's never felt more at home than in his rival's arms. It's a feeling Sonic hopes he can transfer to Neo, in a way--that feeling of home. Of belonging in one place and one place alone, a place that's just for the two of them right now. Because Neo isn't the only one who wants to make his feelings known.]
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Thank you. [I know it was difficult.] I've learned much today. I want nothing more than to remain right here with you, but...
[His gaze turns skyward; though they're quite a ways out from the festival, the fireworks that have just started are still visible against the night sky.]
...Perhaps we should head back. I don't want you to be too cold out here.
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Awww, you really do care after all! [It was never in question. Promise. Sonic chuckles a bit, a little sad he has to get up from his boyfriend's warm space, but holding out a hand for Neo with a grin.] Not that I'd really ever be cold with you around, but I'm thinking getting back into town where the warm is will be a good idea, yeah. There might still be some cool games going on at the festival, too, if we get there quick.
Race you there? [...] Or...should we take our time, you think?
[Either way's fine by him. Neo's already expended enough energy today chasing after Sonic--they can take it at whatever pace Neo wants tonight.]
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You already know my answer.
[And then, without even waiting for Sonic to respond, Neo fires up his jets and zips off. After all, how could he ever turn down another opportunity to race his rival? Even though there's no chance he'll win, he always, always strives to be better than Sonic.
And the amusement present through the bond makes it clear that he is not sorry at all about cheating to get a head start.]
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[...
You know, Sonic isn't sure what he should've expected, but it absolutely should've been that. Sonic's laughter is loud and bright and catching up fast to Neo as his own amusement and competitive spirit is made apparent, and truly?
He's the happiest man alive, with the best boyfriend he could ever ask for. And as they make it back to the festival, he doesn't care what anyone else thinks, because they're both happy and that's what matters most.]