sranks | we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

In truth, I hadn't realized we'd grown so close during our time together here. I was immensely surprised that they all came after us, and that they've all been working so hard to try to help.

[He knows they're going to continue to surprise him with how much effort they put in for Camilla. It's... really nice, honestly.]

You're right, though. This is what a family should be - not a collection of ideals and lineage, of duties and expectations and positions. It should be something comforting; people who care about one another and will do everything they can to help, no matter how dire the situation.

[And that... really does explain everything, doesn't it. His family here has given him so much more than House Gloucester ever has.

That's a thought for another time and another place, so he moves on.]

I'm pleased to hear it. We will all be here for you. I... I'm so glad you're back.

You're not the only one. I'd been devoting so much of my time to you, and only making smalltalk with those in our house, but...to know that they have done so much? For the both of us? It makes me wish to dedicate that which I have not given to you to them. They're...very determined people, and my faith in all of them is quite high.

[Yes, even Claude. Who knows, maybe she'll actually be a decent person to him now, instead of cold and dismissive...well, honestly, she will, because she does owe him something of an apology for being so rude to him.

There's...much to be done, really, and she nods in agreement at his position on family, because she does agree. Family should be a comfort in trying times. Her mother had tried to give that to her to the best of her ability when Camilla was small, and when she was gone, Lorenz gave that much to her.

It's...nice to think about. And Camilla's arms tighten just a bit more around Lorenz, firm, but not too overbearing.]

...I'm glad to be back. I never wish to be in those castle walls again; my true family is here, with all of you. And I...I may need time to properly re-adjust, but I do think that in due time...I shall appreciate such things. And I shall endeavor to never leave your side again, my lord.

[...]

...Family... [Camilla's thoughts drift back to that for a moment, her gaze...far away and glassy for a moment before focusing again, elaborating.] ...The idea of true family has always been something that's...lost on me. Certainly, I had my mother, and she was...not perfect, but she did everything she could for my sake. She treated me so much better than anyone else had ever thought to, other than... [Xander] ...other such people in House Krakenburg. Once I lost her, I never thought it would be possible for such a thing to be found again.

[She should stop there, she should stop before she says something improper, but...]

...The closest I had ever come to obtaining that feeling again was from serving you, if...I may admit such a thing.

[It's a tough admission, and there's more she could say, but...well, she doesn't want to overwhelm him. Even if it likely doesn't come as a shock to Lord Lorenz at all.]

[He knows that it's too soon for Camilla to genuinely be doing better, but she seems less afraid and that's certainly a good thing. He relaxes a bit further, nodding a bit at her words and allowing the shift back to the topic of family.

He isn't exactly surprised by her admission, but it's a nice one anyway.]

I have always valued you as both a servant and a friend. Father spent so much time insisting that I shouldn't see you as family... but even at the start of our time here I was wondering if that was really correct. Whether he likes it or not, we share blood. You are family, and I want to treat you as such.

[...]

Not in public; I'm afraid that would only complicate things. And I... understand how much you enjoy assisting me. If that is what you want to continue doing, I will not argue with you. But I do not want to think of you as merely a servant to House Gloucester, or only my friend. You are... almost like a sister, I must confess. I suppose that may sound a bit strange, given our positions.

[But it's the truth, and there's no shame in admitting it.]

[Camilla can't be sure she's hearing him correctly, when he starts speaking up. She's not surprised by the fact that his father would say such things, given what he's said to her, but hearing that is something else. She's...still not doing great, and maybe he's just humoring her, and she's not sure if that would be worse or whatnot but--

You are... almost like a sister, I must confess. I suppose that may sound a bit strange, given our positions.

Oh.

Oh, he just--]

...Well. I must confess, you've stolen the words right out of my mouth.

[Camilla's voice is soft, really, but it's...attempting to be elegant. A stalwart attempt, at any rate, and not just...trying to be tired. Sure, House Krakenburg had ensure that she wouldn't look too suspicious when she came back, but the mental damage was honestly far worse than the physical damage. Those words aren't healing the cracks in her psyche entirely, but...

They're at least helping.]

I've always viewed you as a brother to me, as well. I...wouldn't dare to call you such a thing in public--I know that would cause only problems for House Gloucester. More than I...dare say have been caused in this past month alone...

[...She's gonna have to explain that she used magic to try and take out Xander at some point, if Xander hasn't already tried to lord this over Lorenz's head--but that's not the point now.]

I will continue to serve you. Do not think that I would ever reconsider that position at all. [...] But I would be truly honored to...be your sister, my lord, in private. That certainly won't change much between us, if that is something you wish; I intend to look out for you the same as I always do.

[Honestly, he isn't sure why it's such a relief to hear that she feels the same. He's sort of always known, hasn't he? It's just really sweet to hear that she agrees.

The part about House Gloucester gets him to huff, a rather undignified sound of annoyance.]

Don't worry at all about House Gloucester. I will handle that.

[It's full of disdain, but he won't elaborate on any of that mess right now. The important thing is the second part, which gets him to smile softly.]

I know you will. Still, I would like nothing more than to consider you as such. However... I would request that you consider calling me by name. It's a bit strange for a sister to call her brother "my lord", isn't it?

[He knows that isn't something she'll be comfortable with right away, but maybe someday...]

Ah, but--my lord, there's still--

[...Camilla's content to let that go for now, but she's mostly shocked about the disdain. What on earth happened while she was gone? She can't imagine that the letter he sent to his father netted anything good, but...

Well, the first sentence gets her to smile, but the second one gets her pale face to go pink in a way that it never usually does. Camilla has never looked so scandalized in her life???]

I--I will consider it, but I doubt such a thing is possible... [...Camilla considers it for a moment, trying to say it but then shaking her head when simply his name won't come out.] ...I'd love for nothing more as well, however.

[...]

Would 'brother dear' perhaps suffice, for now, Lord Lorenz?

[CAMILLA HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT BUT NOT JUST CALL THE BOY BY HIS FIRST NAME]

[Thankfully, Camilla's content to move past his irritation with House Gloucester for now. He's not particularly surprised when she can't manage his name so easily, but then she decides on something else entirely and he immediately goes bright red.]

W-Well, it is a bit... much...

["Brother dear"...]

But I believe I can grow accustomed to it in time!

[he's gonna die every time she says it]

[...Okay, Camilla does wind up separating for a brief moment--she needs to make sure her lord is alright, that he's not uncomfortable, because she will just go back to her lord in an instant, but...

...

Oh no that's adorable.]

...If it does make you uncomfortable, I shall stop. But...

[Okay no, she pulls him back in closer and there's...something faint in her expression--a smile, though she's still having a hard time with expressions, but--]

I am so very happy. Really, I could not be happier, my sweet brother dear--I will endeavor to ensure I get better in...as short of an order as I can, so that the future will be brighter for us both.

[Oh. Oh no, she wants to make sure he's okay—

Well, it's too late. Camilla absolutely gets to see his rather stunned and flushed expression; he can't say he's all that bothered by it, really, but it is a bit embarrassing...

And then she's pulling him back and he settles against her easily.]

Don't push yourself too hard. I will be right here beside you, no matter what. Don't try to rush to feel better.

[He knows she wants to, but this isn't the sort of thing you can rush, right? Either way, he's prepared to be patient and do what he can to help her.]

Thank you, sister. For all you've done for me. Let me help take care of you for a little while.

I know. I wouldn't want you to have to worry too much for my sake; I did promise that I would at least...try to avoid getting hurt again. For your sake. And I intend to follow that to the last.

[Camilla knows that this much is only staving off the inevitable, really--the nightmares to come, the slightest bit of panic that'll likely come when she's in a space too dark--the paranoia, everything. It's going to be a lot to sort through, and...

...

Well okay, Camilla absolutely glad she's pulled him in close because being called sister is something she's always wanted and she's trying very hard not to tear up again????]

...If you'd truly like to help, I would be remiss to deny you. But I ask that you not over-exert yourself either; I would not want to have to worry over you more than usual, if you do.

[...]

But please, try to stay by my side if you can. Not all the time, but... [Mmm. She's gotta address it--] ...I don't want Xander to get any ideas again, even if I worry he likely has many as it stands...and I'm afraid I did not help in one such regard.

[It's that pause that worries him, and her words do nothing to abate that worry. The fact that she's actually stating it outright and acknowledging how badly this messed her up, even somewhat... Well, it isn't a good sign.]

I understand, and I will endeavor to be by your side as often as possible. In the event that I cannot be, I will ask Claude to stand in for me.

[...never mind that the last time we talked about Claude we agreed he belonged in the pond?? Listen, his opinion of Claude has skyrocketed since then.]

We will not allow him - or anyone - to get close to you. We will do everything in our power to keep you safe, and I will not allow anything to hurt you again.

[That isn't something he can promise, but that isn't going to stop him from trying.

Something occurs to him then, though, and he frowns.]

Would you... prefer to spend your nights alone? I could ask one of the girls if they would remain in here with you if that would help...?

[But he knows Camilla - she won't want to risk upsetting any of them.]

Ideally, I would prefer to stay with you, but I'm not entirely sure how to arrange that...

[Seteth will probably kill him if he finds out??]

...I would like that. Thank you, my dear brother.

[...But he's not getting the point, Lorenz really needs to understand this before he winds up finding out the hard way that she's fucked up--]

Ah...no, no, it's fine. I'd rather not burden any of the other girls with such a thing, nor you. I've never been a heavy sleeper at all, and I'm afraid this may only...exacerbate the issues more. I wouldn't want any of you to have to deal with me in such a state.

[...Honestly it'd be embarrassing too, she's really not sure how she'd handle another person in the room while she's sleeping...honestly, it'd remind her too closely of her mom, she thinks, which is...where most of the issue is..........]

...But my lord, please, I need to stress this--it's about my crest. I...I messed up--I tried to kill Xander with magic, when I chased after the both of you. And...well, they tested my magic many times over when they experimented on me, and...

[...Y e a h...]

...I apologize sincerely, but I...I'm afraid I did mess up dearly.

[He doesn't really like the idea of leaving her alone at night, but he nods anyway. If this is what she believes is best, then he will trust her. He has no doubts that she's going to lock the door and possibly even push something up against it to keep anyone from getting in.

But Camilla moves on to something more pressing, and Lorenz draws back so he can get a better look at her, frowning.]

I see. I... I'm terribly sorry that they did such a thing to you.

[The experimenting, of course. He sort of figured that had something to do with it, but...]

I understand your concerns, and I am not trying to dismiss this as unimportant. But I promise you, we will find a way to face it together. Should House Krakenburg do something with this, I will do everything in my power to ensure that no more harm comes to you. That is my primary concern. Everything else is something we can handle, I have no doubts about that.

[It could prove disastrous for House Gloucester, depending on how it's spun. But if that is the way things play out, then so be it. His concern is with Camilla's safety, not his family's name and honor. "Honor" is a bit of a stretch anyway, given his father's actions.]

[...Okay, that much is...good, at the very least. Camilla's eyes soften a bit, even if they're just...kind of going to be really dull for a while, but it'll be fine. Surely it'll be fine.]

You needn't apologize my lo--my brother.

[As far as she's concerned, if he's not going to allow her to take blame, she's not going to let him, either. Camilla and Lorenz can unite under the banner of "FUCK HOUSE KRAKENBURG", and be in solidarity...]

...Alright. If you're certain. I simply don't wish to put you in harms way--I'll never allow that again. I'd sooner wage a one woman war against that entire house than allow such a thing to happen again.

[...CAMILLA, YIKES?]

When we do find a way, though...I promise that I will do everything to support you. I'll give all that I have left in me to fight for such a cause, and I'll use all of my strength to bolster it. I swear.

Understandable, I certainly would have marched to House Krakenburg myself if I thought I had the power to handle it on my own.

[WELL OKAY THEN??]

Thank you, though. Together we will make it through this - no matter what comes our way. I have complete faith in that.

[OH BOY SAME VIOLENT HAT]

I'm certain that with enough time, we'll be able to eradicate the dastards involved and grant them no quarter.

[oh my god what have we done]

I...I believe so too. It will take time, but...I do believe in that much, as well.

[At any rate, Camilla is glad to be back--as long as her lord, her brother is by her side...she'll be able to take on the whole world. She's sure.

It'll take precious time, but it'll be worth it. She's sure of that.

The evening doesn't go the most well, due to Camilla's state of being a lot more jumpy and anxious than usual, even with the Deer by her side, but...there's much to adjust to; Camilla refuses to let this destroy her. That's a promise.]

we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

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