sranks | we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

[Marianne von Edmund is not a bold woman. That much has always been obvious about her; she was so painfully shy due to her upbringing and everything that has happened to her. Every bit of her circumstances screamed at her to keep her distance, that her presence was a blight, that people would be far better off if she didn't exist at all. Even while she's been among the Golden Deer, it's been an inescapable feeling for her...

People have tried to bring her out of her shell. It's been a slow process, but Marianne has...gotten somewhat better. Hilda has helped immensely. Lorenz has too. All of the Golden Deer have, in their own ways, and it made her feel like she belonged in a way. That even someone like her could maybe lead a normal life.

Of course, Marianne still preferred to keep away from combat, unlike most of the other deer; she preferred to stay in the back and cast her healing spells, bringing them back from the brink time and time again. It was a fact of life for her, that this was what she excelled at. And of course, it would make her a target.

...Would, being the keyword; the Battle of the Eagle and Lion has proven one thing to Marianne, and that is if push comes to shove, she's not going down without a fight. That much got proven quite well when she wound up unintentionally knocking out one of the Black Eagles in a bid to keep herself safe, Nosferatu ensuring he was out of the fight as soon as he targeted her. She might have been a little too harsh, really.

It's been a few days. Marianne has been a little worried that he hasn't been recovering well, and against her better judgement--the one that keeps her away from people, she seeks Xander out. He's a pretty common face in the stables, and surely enough...]

Um...excuse me, Xander? Do you...have a moment?

[...Marianne already feels like she wants the earth to consume her whole, but listen. She's trying.]

[It's been a few days since the battle, and while it's still on everyone's minds, Xander is content to go back to his usual routine of training. He was defeated - by a healer, no less - which just means he needs to keep working hard. Of course, his training isn't all purely physical, and part of that training is in getting to know the horses better. Okay, so it's also partially because he likes horses and is very content spending time around them, but getting to know them better certainly won't hurt in battle!

He's finishing up putting away the brushes when he finds Marianne in the doorway. He smiles and nods.]

Of course, Marianne. What can I help you with?

[He knows of her, but they haven't spoken much, if at all. She's very shy, he knows that much. She's also the one who defeated him in the battle, but he holds no ill-will toward her for that. It was a well-deserved victory.]

[Oh--he must have been working in here. Well, she imagines Dorte will appreciate some extra brushing from her anyway, but Marianne walks over and fidgets a bit.]

Well, um...I was hoping to apologize. For the other day. I may have overdid it.

[Marianne can't keep her eyes on Xander when she says that much, but then again, eyecontact has always been hard for her in the first place.]

I was hoping to check on you. To...see if you were doing okay. A-After the battle, I mean. You, um...caught me by surprise...

[Oh. That's... really sweet, actually...]

Thank you for your concern, but I promise I'm fine. I do apologize for going after you like that, it was exceptionally rude of me.

[It was a sound tactic, certainly, but Marianne didn't deserve that. He would have felt just as bad had he been going after Mercedes, though...]

I must compliment you on your skill, though. I wasn't expecting your spells to be that strong! I learned a lot from our battle.

[Mostly that he has no magic resistance and he really needs to work on that, but he also learned that Nosferatu can be really useful!!]

O-oh, uh...

[...Marianne isn't sure what to do with that being turned back on her??? It's kind of clear on her face...]

No, no, it's...it's fine. I'm not mad. Or anything like that. Um...it was a battle, so...

[ohhhhh goddess above take her now, he's praising her??? why???]

I-I'm not really that skilled. Really, I just...jumped a bit, and got scared. I really didn't want to leave my friends without help, so I...just tried my best. I'm not that good...Mercedes and Linhardt are better healers than me.

[Marianne fidgets with her sleeves a bit, averting her gaze.]

You're sure you didn't get injured...?

[Oh dear, maybe he went a little overboard... She looks like she's wishing the earth would open up and swallow her whole...]

I'm certain. Thank you for your concern, but I'm doing just fine.

[...]

You don't need to put yourself down, though. The Golden Deer were successful, and I imagine it is in no small part thanks to your healing.

[...Congratulations, Xander, you know how to read Marianne like a book.

Either way, Marianne nods at the first bit, content to stay quiet...well, until he brings up her healing capabilities again and her hands clasp together in front of her, in a praying motion. It wouldn't be wrong to think Marianne was starting to pray to the goddess for that........]

No, no, I...I don't really do all that much. Not in comparison to the rest of them...I'm just there, and I don't...really think I do all that good of a job. I'm just doing what I can...

[Marianne goes to try and grab a brush, but it's mostly so she doesn't have to look at Xander while she talks.]

If I wasn't the only one training in faith magic...I'm sure everyone else would do better than I could. I'm not that good of a healer...I'm not really good for much. I-I'd only really hold everyone back in an actual battle, so...it might be for the best...even if we did win this one...

[She doesn't see what good there is in herself at all.]

[Why is she so hard on herself? There must be a reason behind it, but he doubts she'd tell him even if he asked.]

I believe you're selling yourself short. You fended me off, after all. I've been very diligent in my training, and yet I was no match for you. I think you're doing an excellent job with your studies.

...Why are you praising me so much?

[Marianne looks at Xander for once, after she grabs a brush--though she winds up averting her gaze shortly after, because eyecontact is hard for any length of time.]

I'm just...I don't... [Marianne fidgets, though this time with the brush she's managed to pick out.] I-I'm sorry. I made you question your own training...but, um...you did really well, too. I think if I didn't react so poorly, you could have...done a lot for your house.

[...This is easier to address than her confidence issues.]

[...Huh...]

You didn't react poorly, Marianne. You saw an enemy approaching with the intent to harm you, and you did what you had to in order to protect yourself. Even if you don't want to hear praise, I think you can agree that doing what you must is not a bad thing.

[He pauses for a moment, and then addresses the rest of it.]

I'm not angry with you for what you did, or even really disappointed in my own performance. This is training - sometimes you lose a match, but it helps you learn how to better yourself. I want to thank you for that.

[Is... is that a little better...??]

[...He does have a point. Marianne fidgets some with the brush a little more, honestly just...unsure of how to take any of that, though she nods her head a tiny bit.]

I...I guess that's true...I was just keeping myself safe, but...

[Marianne. Clearly doesn't know how to take any of that, really, and she feels herself shrink--]

You don't have to thank me...that's not something that really...deserves thanks. But um...I guess I'm glad to have helped. Even if it was like that.

You did, certainly.

[He nods, and his expression remains gentle.]

I apologize for upsetting you. It wasn't my intention. Thank you for checking on me, but I promise I'm fine.

[There's a lot more he'd like to say, but she clearly doesn't want to be praised, so he'll let it go for now.]

N-no, you're not--you're not upsetting me, I'm--oh, I did it again...

[Augh, there she goes again.]

I'm just...not so worthy of praise. That's all. I'm sorry.

[Marianne's look goes towards the stables...]

Um... [...] Did you...have chores in here?

[Marianne is not good at small talk, but she is curious. She feels like she's seen him in here before, but she's usually too focused on taking care of Dorte and the others.]

[Honestly, he wishes there was some way to convince her otherwise... But they barely know each other, and aggressively praising her seems like a terrible idea. So he lets it go, especially since she's given him something else to focus on.]

Oh no, not today. I enjoy stopping by every day, however. I want to get to know the horses better. I'm still learning how to best handle a horse in battle, but even beyond that, I'm very fond of them. I like to stop in to see how they're doing.

Oh...you do?

[...Marianne actually smiles a bit at that.]

That's good. It...it helps the horses, for them to get to know the people who are riding them into battle. If they're more familiar with their rider, they'll be less nervous.

They're...very friendly, so it's good to see you becoming friends with them.

I do. They're incredibly beautiful creatures, and I wish to learn how to better care for them. I have been placed on stable duty before, of course, but there's only so much one can learn from tasks alone. I'm very happy to get to know them better.

[It's nice to see her talking like this, she seems much more animated and lively when talking about horses.]

I take it you're fond of them as well?

They are...I'm glad that you care. It...it makes the horses happy, too, when people treat them nicely. As long as you keep doing that, you should be able to make fast friends.

[Oh, that question--]

O-oh, yes! Um. Quite a bit. They're...easier to talk to.

[...]

I-I know that sounds...silly, and unbelievable...I probably shouldn't have said that...

[Oh, that's... Sort of depressing, in all honesty, but given what he's seen of Marianne so far, he can't really say he's surprised.]

No, it's not a bad thing. I'm sure they're very fond of you. Having someone to look after them and treat them so kindly can only be a good thing, correct?

[There isn't any judgment or confusion at her words; it's a bit strange, sure, but he really does believe it's important to bond with any animal you expect to ride into battle, and he has always been fond of horses anyway.]

I used to spend quite a lot of time in the stables back home. I didn't have many friends when I was growing up, but being around the horses was always comforting.

[It's the truth, but it's not something he'd normally admit. After Camilla disappeared, he didn't really have anyone to turn to. The rest of his siblings were kept away from him, he didn't know very many children his own age, and most of them were either servants' children or were fellow nobles he didn't see often anyway. He wonders if she's the same way.]

That...is true, yes. They really do like it. I know Dorte does, certainly--I don't know if you have met him, but...he's a very good friend of mine.

[...Marianne is glad for the lack of judgement, seeming to ease a little more around him. But hearing about his lack of friends...well, even Marianne can't help but be concerned about that.]

You too... [Mmm.] ...I understand. I was kind of the same way, but...it's more that I had to keep my distance. From, um, everyone. But the animals were always nice company.

I'm...sorry that you had to experience that, too. [...] Would you...tell me about some of them? The horses.

You'll have to introduce me at some point.

[He's familiar with most of the horses here, but he doesn't recall one named Dorte, so it's possible he hasn't seen that one or spent much time with him. Either way, it would be nice to meet one of Marianne's friends.

There's something in her words that makes him pause (had to keep her distance?) but he nods and answers her question instead of focusing on it.]

My father isn't particularly fond of riding, but we kept numerous horses anyway, should we need to travel. My mother's favorite was a beautiful mare named Dahlia; she was the one I first learned to ride, and I spent much of my time learning to groom and care for her. She was black, with white markings up her legs and over her nose. She was well-behaved and gentle, never once reacting poorly even when I was still learning.

Jasmine is her sister, almost identical in appearance but certainly not in temperament. She was a bit wild when I was a child, and mother had difficulty reigning her in. She wouldn't let me anywhere near her for years... But she eventually settled down. I'm very fond of her.

I-I'll gladly, if you'd like. [Marianne does actually take a quick look at the stables, before shaking her head.] He must be with someone else, but...I'd be happy to.

[Marianne listens, though, when Xander starts to talk. She doesn't know a thing about him, really, but hearing all of this...it's at least good that the horses had someone to take care of them. Xander's mother must be a kind woman, but Dahlia and Jasmine both sound like delightful characters.]

That's wonderful. Dahlia and Jasmine sound...like very wonderful friends. [Marianne giggles, very slightly.] They...they certainly sound like sisters. Complete opposites of one another. It's sweet, but...I'm glad that they both warmed up to you so much, and that you were able to befriend them.

Yes, they... really did help me get through some of the tougher times back home. I'm very fond of them.

[His smile is soft as he reminisces, but he's quick to settle into something a little more poised.]

I would like to meet Dorte sometime, and perhaps hear more about you as well. Would it be alright if we meet here again at some point?

[He doesn't want to pressure her, of course, but Marianne seems like a nice person and he really would like to get to know her better.]

[Marianne smiles a bit, seeing that soft smile for only a moment. She doesn't deserve to see it, but...it is nice on him.]

I'm...I'm glad to hear it.

[...]

I-I'm not very interesting, but...I wouldn't mind. Maybe Dorte will be here, and I can introduce you two. It...it would be nice.

[Marianne bows a little.]

I'm...going to go take care of the horses, now. Um...take care, Xander.

[He returns the bow easily.]

Of course. Thank you again for checking up on me. I'll see you later, Marianne.

[He's content to leave her for now, but the thought of meeting with her again to learn more about her is really nice. Xander heads out, but even as he goes that soft smile returns to his face.]

we are the cursed we came from fire and ice

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