[Hahaha, conveniently an excuse to side-step that first part!!]
I mean, maybe it isn't? But it sure as hell ain't for me, of all people. You kiddin' me? What kind of impression have I given you that I'd ever wanna be a knight?
[It comes out a little sharper than intended, but Alear tenses up a bit at that as she honestly seems to struggle to wrap her head around that.]
Miss Rhea and everyone else said that's what the people who come here usually go on to become, if they're not from some sort of noble territory. Or a soldier, maybe. It's not like you strike me as a type to want to join the Church, anyway.
[But anyway--]
What do you actually want to do with yourself, then?
[Griss blinks as Alear snaps, and she redirects back to her initial question that makes him feel prickly. On edge. Because...]
...I don't really have any plans.
[It's been difficult to imagine a future at all, frankly. He spent so much time just trying to make it to the next day, and maybe he's never really learned how to think about something as far-off as the future. He lives in the moment. He doesn't like thinking too hard about anything, after all.]
You're right that I ain't interested in joinin' the Church, though. I'm not really the most religious.
[Faith magic works just as well as long as you believe in something else, after all! Griss lifts his shoulders a bit, but it isn't really a proper shrug.]
I just take it one day at a time. I'll figure it out when I get there.
[...Maybe she shouldn't have reacted like that. But it frustrates her sometimes, when people ask stuff like that--when they ask such simple questions that she should know the answer to, and she just...doesn't. Miss Rhea has done an incredible lot for her, but in the face of something like this...
Maybe she doesn't know the world nearly as much as she thinks she does. Alear doesn't want to say she wasn't taught enough, because Miss Rhea simply is so busy, but...]
...Was that really so hard to admit? I mean. It's okay if you don't know what you want out of life. I think, anyway.
[Alear rubs the back of her head.]
I shouldn't have snapped off at you; I'm sorry about that. But...I don't know. Miss Rhea always said that most people who do come to this Academy end up serving the knights, and I didn't really think there was much else people could do, I guess.
I mean, except for the nobles. But nobility may as well be a foreign language to me.
You don't gotta apologize for that. You're right - if you ain't a noble and you've managed to make your way here, chances are you're workin' for the Church or becomin' a knight to put that martial trainin' to good use.
[Griss shrugs properly this time.]
But that ain't for me. It feels weird not knowin' what it is I want when so many of our classmates seem dead-set on whatever it is they're gonna end up doin', y'know?
[And maybe it's also kind of concerning because his role model is Zephia, who is always so certain in whatever it is she does.]
[Alear has to think about that for a moment, pausing, but eventually nodding. This has admittedly been her normal for a while, but...]
I get it. Makes you...I don't know. Makes you think you're missing something that they have, when they're all so certain, right?
[...]
I don't think that's a bad thing, though; think of it like this! You're keeping your options open rather than just tying yourself down to one thing. I mean, graduating from here, that's gonna look impressive to almost anyone, right?
It means they'll take you more seriously, when you do want to find something for yourself.
[It's almost cute of her to worry after him like this. To try to bolster him, when he doesn't really need it at all. Thankfully, it doesn't really matter what it is he ends up doing, because Zephia will always be here to guide him. He doesn't have to think too hard about it.]
Yeah, you're right. Just gotta try not to get myself killed before then, I guess.
[He stretches, wincing a little at the strain, but it's with a grin, naturally.]
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no subject
I mean, maybe it isn't? But it sure as hell ain't for me, of all people. You kiddin' me? What kind of impression have I given you that I'd ever wanna be a knight?
no subject
[It comes out a little sharper than intended, but Alear tenses up a bit at that as she honestly seems to struggle to wrap her head around that.]
Miss Rhea and everyone else said that's what the people who come here usually go on to become, if they're not from some sort of noble territory. Or a soldier, maybe. It's not like you strike me as a type to want to join the Church, anyway.
[But anyway--]
What do you actually want to do with yourself, then?
no subject
...I don't really have any plans.
[It's been difficult to imagine a future at all, frankly. He spent so much time just trying to make it to the next day, and maybe he's never really learned how to think about something as far-off as the future. He lives in the moment. He doesn't like thinking too hard about anything, after all.]
You're right that I ain't interested in joinin' the Church, though. I'm not really the most religious.
[Faith magic works just as well as long as you believe in something else, after all! Griss lifts his shoulders a bit, but it isn't really a proper shrug.]
I just take it one day at a time. I'll figure it out when I get there.
no subject
Maybe she doesn't know the world nearly as much as she thinks she does. Alear doesn't want to say she wasn't taught enough, because Miss Rhea simply is so busy, but...]
...Was that really so hard to admit? I mean. It's okay if you don't know what you want out of life. I think, anyway.
[Alear rubs the back of her head.]
I shouldn't have snapped off at you; I'm sorry about that. But...I don't know. Miss Rhea always said that most people who do come to this Academy end up serving the knights, and I didn't really think there was much else people could do, I guess.
I mean, except for the nobles. But nobility may as well be a foreign language to me.
no subject
[Griss shrugs properly this time.]
But that ain't for me. It feels weird not knowin' what it is I want when so many of our classmates seem dead-set on whatever it is they're gonna end up doin', y'know?
[And maybe it's also kind of concerning because his role model is Zephia, who is always so certain in whatever it is she does.]
no subject
[Alear has to think about that for a moment, pausing, but eventually nodding. This has admittedly been her normal for a while, but...]
I get it. Makes you...I don't know. Makes you think you're missing something that they have, when they're all so certain, right?
[...]
I don't think that's a bad thing, though; think of it like this! You're keeping your options open rather than just tying yourself down to one thing. I mean, graduating from here, that's gonna look impressive to almost anyone, right?
It means they'll take you more seriously, when you do want to find something for yourself.
no subject
[It's almost cute of her to worry after him like this. To try to bolster him, when he doesn't really need it at all. Thankfully, it doesn't really matter what it is he ends up doing, because Zephia will always be here to guide him. He doesn't have to think too hard about it.]
Yeah, you're right. Just gotta try not to get myself killed before then, I guess.
[He stretches, wincing a little at the strain, but it's with a grin, naturally.]