you vastly overestimate this man's sense of self esteem. or self preservation, even.]
...!
[But no, something more important comes through in Lif's expression--for all he's tried to quash various feelings, negative and positive, he's always been a man of sentiment. Even as Alfonse, this was true of him; he enjoyed remembering little things. Nights spent in the quiet company of the library, pouring over books. Sometimes with friends, dear friends who you could make even the most harrowing times a little lighter.
Of course Lif recognizes that book. He'd be a fool not to. It was one of the last good memories he had of Hubert, and he pauses pretty significantly at the book as he stares at it.
It feels like a confrontation. Lif knows--deep down, that this isn't what Hubert intends. He knew better than anyone that Hubert had a kind side, layered underneath the image he had to present for Princess Edelgard's sake.]
...I...
[Words dry up in his throat, lost. He stares at Hubert, finally, fixing him with something...wary. Guarded, almost. He doesn't accept the book, not yet, but...]
[The pause lasts too long. Hubert would be willing to accept that he completely failed to pick something that would capture Lif's interest - but if that's all it was, Lif would have said so. If it was a matter of insulting Lif, then he simply would have expressed that as well. He isn't a man to shy away from such things, nor take his time to carefully consider how to word such a thing, so what does this pause signify?
Hubert waits. He doesn't interrupt because whatever's going through Lif's mind must be quite important to earn a look of surprise like that.]
It stood out to me.
[How, exactly, he's not sure he can describe without sounding insane. It would be easy to lie about it, but...
But for some absolutely bizarre reason, Hubert doesn't want to. So though the answer is crazy, perhaps it's worth sharing.]
...It almost felt... familiar. As though out of all the books I could look through, this one was the right one. I suppose you could call it a gut feeling, but I've never been one to act on such a thing.
[It was something more than that, he's sure of it.]
Lif doesn't have any blood left to run cold at a statement like that, but Hubert will almost certainly be able to see the way Lif tenses at that statement. He didn't want to believe that there was a chance that he'd see this man again, much less one who could've possibly been one of his most stalwart allies. His friends.
Lif's gaze hardens at that, though. He forces it to. Even if he is the man he once knew, the boy Hubert knew in kind is--]
...It would seem your gut feeling led you in the right direction. I am...not one for reading, but I do prefer these.
[It's guarded. It's so, so incredibly guarded.]
...You've been bothering me quite a bit as of late, when you do not even have to. And now you're going out of your way to bring me entertainment, as if you're looking for an excuse to spend time with me.
[Lif's gaze trains itself on Hubert; accusatory, intentionally so.]
I want to know why, Vestra. Why do you persist? What do you stand to gain from this?
[Is it a heavy level of deflection away from the fact that he too has been going out of his way? Yes, absolutely. Does Lif care?? Of course not.
The dead don't have feelings, after all, despite all evidence to the contrary.]
[It seems to be the wrong answer, given how Lif's gaze hardens and he decides to fire back. Hubert was prepared to answer a question like this - because he's been asking himself the same thing. Why would he go out of his way for something like this, when he knows that Lif will likewise question him? He isn't kind. He looks out for his allies in more subtle ways - but the people here aren't his allies. They're only working together because they have to be.
But Lif... Things are different with Lif. He's not sure he could ever articulate how, so he leaves that thought alone and refuses to elaborate on it, even to himself.]
In this particular instance, it serves our healers to have you stay put. The less strain we place on them now, the easier their job will be when they've other injured to deal with. I saw a problem and sought to solve it, that's all.
[That isn't all, but the answer is easy and he inclines his head a bit as if considering.]
Though your reaction leads me to believe that there is something more to it. What have I done to upset you so?
[Despite the wording, it is a serious question. If he's stepped on Lif's toes, then he owes Lif an apology. Though they may not be comrades, they are temporary allies here, and Hubert doesn't want to insult Lif, accidentally or otherwise.]
[Lif's gaze stays hard as Hubert continues to speak, everything in Lif going even more guarded than usual. How could he possibly tell him--if he's not the same person he knew so long ago, then it's just burdening him with something unnecessary. If he is, then...
Lif's eyes close, though. After a moment.]
...You haven't upset me.
[When Lif opens them again, there's something more somber in his expression. His look goes down towards the book in question, and he lets out something soft; something close to a chuckle, at least.
It might even sound a bit familiar.]
There are simply far too many coincidences, for this to be a matter of random selection. This book...it is something that holds a few significant memories to me. That is all.
[He doesn't know if he should elaborate; he's not entirely sure how. But he's putting that out there and at least taking the book for the moment.]
[Truthfully, it's somewhat surprising that Lif offers an answer at all, though not nearly as surprising as that soft chuckle, something that sounds... familiar. Like he's gotten that exact same laugh from the man before somehow, though he's quite certain he's never heard Lif sound so amused. So then how? Is there truly more to all of this - the fact that he finds himself drawn to Lif, the fact that so much of this feels familiar, even that particular book? It's not something he really wants to consider, but Hubert's not going to be able to continue avoiding it for much longer.
Lif's answer is likewise something he knew, somehow. It isn't a surprise to hear it, despite the fact that it should be, given Hubert had no way of knowing such a thing.]
I wasn't aware of your fondness for tactics.
[Which... is sort of true, in that he hadn't realized it despite this weird sense of deja vu, as though somehow he did actually know this. Even as he says it, Hubert looks unsure, as if that isn't quite the response he wanted - or maybe it isn't the right response at all.
He shakes his head as if to clear it. This isn't getting him anywhere.]
Will it suitably occupy you until you're free to return to the battlefield?
[...which is probably the most stunted way he could have put that, but alright.]
[Lif's expression...it becomes unreadable for a moment. There's a lot of ways he could respond to this; a lot of ways he should. He should push Hubert away, he should make sure that he doesn't come back to bother him at all. If it weren't for the damned summoner's power, maybe he'd just kill Hubert to fix all of this malfunction. Then he could at least justify feeling responsible for all of this.]
And if it doesn't?
[And yet, those damning words leave him before he can take them back. His empty chest feels a phantom tightness, and his tone almost seems...amused.]
Do you intend to do anything more about it?
[He hopes Hubert doesn't. (He hopes Hubert does, gods, give him more of an excuse--)]
It isn't my responsibility to ensure you behave yourself. Should you continue to act in ways that are detrimental to your own health, you truly will meet your end someday.
[Though whether that's on the battlefield in the immediate future or not is up in the air.]
I thought it best to at least provide you with some form of entertainment, but I won't stop you, should you decide you know better than the healers.
[Perhaps if things were different, he would. Some small part of him wonders if this is the right call, if maybe he should intervene more - if not for their healers, then for Lif himself. But...
But nothing. Lif is hardly a replacement for Lady Edelgard (and such a thought is an insult to them both) and Hubert won't consider it any further. Lif will do what he wants in the end, and Hubert doubts he has the power to truly stop him even if he wanted to.]
[Lif pauses, at that. It's what he was expecting, really, and he holds no ill towards Hubert for it; it makes Lif push those thoughts out of his head, if only for a time. He could give the book back to Hubert and simply go on his way; he needs to become stronger, as strong as he can to lay the gods low who have toyed with him.
...And yet...]
Some might accuse you of growing soft-hearted, Vestra. [...] But...I suppose I can refrain, for the time being.
[He doesn't want to. But maybe getting caught up in sentiment, just this once, will actually benefit him. He'll at least start to struggle his way back, but...]
...Thank you. You did not have to go out of your way like that.
[The first part gets a scoff from him, but then Lif decides to play nice for the time being and that gets an expression that's actually somewhat close to a smile from Hubert.]
You don't need to thank me for that... but I'll accept it regardless.
[He watches Lif for a moment to make sure that he'll actually be able to make it back. You going to be okay, or do you need a hand...]
Just don't get into the--habit of it, lest you want everyone to think you've gone mad.
[It probably doesn't help that he doesn't have Éljúðnir to support himself--damn Sigurd for thinking to confiscate that from him. But while Lif can give thanks, asking for help is a whole different beast.
Please help, this is pathetic...the bed's at least several feet away, given that it was supposed to be a deterrent to keep him there.]
[It's an unintentionally startled voice that Hubert gets at that--rude, he's supposed to be the one who shocks and scares people??? He doesn't protest being helped back to bed, at least, though he just. Very pointedly is going to ignore how almost gallant that was of Hubert.
Dear gods, feelings are a mistake and that just proves it. Eternally. At the very least, Lif can get himself laid back down easily, but the glow on his face is certainly dulled from it's usual and he's not looking at Hubert.]
...Thank you. For your assistance. [...] Don't forget to get some rest yourself, Vestra.
[So I don't have to worry, Lif wants to say, but he won't. of course he won't say that much.]
[That's almost... cute his mind supplies, though that's not precisely what he was going for. At least he didn't voice such a ridiculous thought.]
You don't need to worry yourself over me.
[But with that said he does hold up a hand in farewell.]
Do try not to trouble the healers too much.
[And with that, he takes his leave; though this wasn't exactly what he was expecting when he entered the infirmary, he leaves it feeling satisfied. At the very least Lif will hopefully stay put for now... even if Hubert has more questions than answers at this point. Still, he doesn't intend to remain awake for much longer - so even though he didn't say it, he'll be sure to get some rest as well.]
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darkbishop) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sranks2022-09-23 01:17 am
no subject
you vastly overestimate this man's sense of self esteem. or self preservation, even.]
...!
[But no, something more important comes through in Lif's expression--for all he's tried to quash various feelings, negative and positive, he's always been a man of sentiment. Even as Alfonse, this was true of him; he enjoyed remembering little things. Nights spent in the quiet company of the library, pouring over books. Sometimes with friends, dear friends who you could make even the most harrowing times a little lighter.
Of course Lif recognizes that book. He'd be a fool not to. It was one of the last good memories he had of Hubert, and he pauses pretty significantly at the book as he stares at it.
It feels like a confrontation. Lif knows--deep down, that this isn't what Hubert intends. He knew better than anyone that Hubert had a kind side, layered underneath the image he had to present for Princess Edelgard's sake.]
...I...
[Words dry up in his throat, lost. He stares at Hubert, finally, fixing him with something...wary. Guarded, almost. He doesn't accept the book, not yet, but...]
...What made you choose this book?
no subject
Hubert waits. He doesn't interrupt because whatever's going through Lif's mind must be quite important to earn a look of surprise like that.]
It stood out to me.
[How, exactly, he's not sure he can describe without sounding insane. It would be easy to lie about it, but...
But for some absolutely bizarre reason, Hubert doesn't want to. So though the answer is crazy, perhaps it's worth sharing.]
...It almost felt... familiar. As though out of all the books I could look through, this one was the right one. I suppose you could call it a gut feeling, but I've never been one to act on such a thing.
[It was something more than that, he's sure of it.]
Why do you ask?
no subject
Lif doesn't have any blood left to run cold at a statement like that, but Hubert will almost certainly be able to see the way Lif tenses at that statement. He didn't want to believe that there was a chance that he'd see this man again, much less one who could've possibly been one of his most stalwart allies. His friends.
Lif's gaze hardens at that, though. He forces it to. Even if he is the man he once knew, the boy Hubert knew in kind is--]
...It would seem your gut feeling led you in the right direction. I am...not one for reading, but I do prefer these.
[It's guarded. It's so, so incredibly guarded.]
...You've been bothering me quite a bit as of late, when you do not even have to. And now you're going out of your way to bring me entertainment, as if you're looking for an excuse to spend time with me.
[Lif's gaze trains itself on Hubert; accusatory, intentionally so.]
I want to know why, Vestra. Why do you persist? What do you stand to gain from this?
[Is it a heavy level of deflection away from the fact that he too has been going out of his way? Yes, absolutely. Does Lif care?? Of course not.
The dead don't have feelings, after all, despite all evidence to the contrary.]
no subject
But Lif... Things are different with Lif. He's not sure he could ever articulate how, so he leaves that thought alone and refuses to elaborate on it, even to himself.]
In this particular instance, it serves our healers to have you stay put. The less strain we place on them now, the easier their job will be when they've other injured to deal with. I saw a problem and sought to solve it, that's all.
[That isn't all, but the answer is easy and he inclines his head a bit as if considering.]
Though your reaction leads me to believe that there is something more to it. What have I done to upset you so?
[Despite the wording, it is a serious question. If he's stepped on Lif's toes, then he owes Lif an apology. Though they may not be comrades, they are temporary allies here, and Hubert doesn't want to insult Lif, accidentally or otherwise.]
no subject
Lif's eyes close, though. After a moment.]
...You haven't upset me.
[When Lif opens them again, there's something more somber in his expression. His look goes down towards the book in question, and he lets out something soft; something close to a chuckle, at least.
It might even sound a bit familiar.]
There are simply far too many coincidences, for this to be a matter of random selection. This book...it is something that holds a few significant memories to me. That is all.
[He doesn't know if he should elaborate; he's not entirely sure how. But he's putting that out there and at least taking the book for the moment.]
no subject
Lif's answer is likewise something he knew, somehow. It isn't a surprise to hear it, despite the fact that it should be, given Hubert had no way of knowing such a thing.]
I wasn't aware of your fondness for tactics.
[Which... is sort of true, in that he hadn't realized it despite this weird sense of deja vu, as though somehow he did actually know this. Even as he says it, Hubert looks unsure, as if that isn't quite the response he wanted - or maybe it isn't the right response at all.
He shakes his head as if to clear it. This isn't getting him anywhere.]
Will it suitably occupy you until you're free to return to the battlefield?
[...which is probably the most stunted way he could have put that, but alright.]
no subject
And if it doesn't?
[And yet, those damning words leave him before he can take them back. His empty chest feels a phantom tightness, and his tone almost seems...amused.]
Do you intend to do anything more about it?
[He hopes Hubert doesn't. (He hopes Hubert does, gods, give him more of an excuse--)]
no subject
[Though whether that's on the battlefield in the immediate future or not is up in the air.]
I thought it best to at least provide you with some form of entertainment, but I won't stop you, should you decide you know better than the healers.
[Perhaps if things were different, he would. Some small part of him wonders if this is the right call, if maybe he should intervene more - if not for their healers, then for Lif himself. But...
But nothing. Lif is hardly a replacement for Lady Edelgard (and such a thought is an insult to them both) and Hubert won't consider it any further. Lif will do what he wants in the end, and Hubert doubts he has the power to truly stop him even if he wanted to.]
no subject
...And yet...]
Some might accuse you of growing soft-hearted, Vestra. [...] But...I suppose I can refrain, for the time being.
[He doesn't want to. But maybe getting caught up in sentiment, just this once, will actually benefit him. He'll at least start to struggle his way back, but...]
...Thank you. You did not have to go out of your way like that.
no subject
You don't need to thank me for that... but I'll accept it regardless.
[He watches Lif for a moment to make sure that he'll actually be able to make it back. You going to be okay, or do you need a hand...]
no subject
[It probably doesn't help that he doesn't have Éljúðnir to support himself--damn Sigurd for thinking to confiscate that from him. But while Lif can give thanks, asking for help is a whole different beast.
Please help, this is pathetic...the bed's at least several feet away, given that it was supposed to be a deterrent to keep him there.]
no subject
Then they won't question this.
[C'mon, Lif, give him your arm. He is not accepting no for an answer. He's going to help you back to bed whether you want him to or not.]
no subject
W-What are you--
[It's an unintentionally startled voice that Hubert gets at that--rude, he's supposed to be the one who shocks and scares people??? He doesn't protest being helped back to bed, at least, though he just. Very pointedly is going to ignore how almost gallant that was of Hubert.
Dear gods, feelings are a mistake and that just proves it. Eternally. At the very least, Lif can get himself laid back down easily, but the glow on his face is certainly dulled from it's usual and he's not looking at Hubert.]
...Thank you. For your assistance. [...] Don't forget to get some rest yourself, Vestra.
[So I don't have to worry, Lif wants to say, but he won't. of course he won't say that much.]
no subject
You don't need to worry yourself over me.
[But with that said he does hold up a hand in farewell.]
Do try not to trouble the healers too much.
[And with that, he takes his leave; though this wasn't exactly what he was expecting when he entered the infirmary, he leaves it feeling satisfied. At the very least Lif will hopefully stay put for now... even if Hubert has more questions than answers at this point. Still, he doesn't intend to remain awake for much longer - so even though he didn't say it, he'll be sure to get some rest as well.]