[This is cruel, almost unbearably cruel. To be called kind and caring, to be told he isn't as bad as he thinks when he knows that things are only bound to get worse from here.
He should tell her. He should let her know, and then allow her the freedom to choose. If she says with him, there's no telling what will become of her friends with the Golden Deer, or of the Alliance. If she turns her back on him...
He'll have to kill her. Maybe not right away, but at some point. He doubts she could simply let him continue on this path if she can't agree with it, anyway.
The thought makes it hard to breathe, almost as if those damned flowers had reappeared with their stranglehold on his lungs.]
...Thank you, Marianne. I... am really pleased to hear that.
[It's cruel to lead her on like this, hasn't he been thinking that this whole time? He should tell her. It doesn't matter if the night ends poorly, he should tell her.
But yet again he finds himself unable to do so, and he pulls her closer. He isn't pretending to dance with her anymore, this is a proper hug - one that's admittedly a bit stiff and awkward, like he's not really sure how to go about it. He doesn't want her to see his face, he just...
He wants to pretend things will be okay. Just one more night of this and then... then he'll tell her everything. He'll give her the choice she desperately needs to make. But for now...
For now, he wants to remain selfish and cruel. Just for an excuse to hold her for a little longer.
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He should tell her. He should let her know, and then allow her the freedom to choose. If she says with him, there's no telling what will become of her friends with the Golden Deer, or of the Alliance. If she turns her back on him...
He'll have to kill her. Maybe not right away, but at some point. He doubts she could simply let him continue on this path if she can't agree with it, anyway.
The thought makes it hard to breathe, almost as if those damned flowers had reappeared with their stranglehold on his lungs.]
...Thank you, Marianne. I... am really pleased to hear that.
[It's cruel to lead her on like this, hasn't he been thinking that this whole time? He should tell her. It doesn't matter if the night ends poorly, he should tell her.
But yet again he finds himself unable to do so, and he pulls her closer. He isn't pretending to dance with her anymore, this is a proper hug - one that's admittedly a bit stiff and awkward, like he's not really sure how to go about it. He doesn't want her to see his face, he just...
He wants to pretend things will be okay. Just one more night of this and then... then he'll tell her everything. He'll give her the choice she desperately needs to make. But for now...
For now, he wants to remain selfish and cruel. Just for an excuse to hold her for a little longer.
How pathetic.]