[It is frightening, and Hubert's expression probably isn't helping. It's the same one he always wears, an expression he's carefully crafted over the years to hide anything that might lurk beneath the surface. It's just shy of pleasant, but it isn't as openly intimidating as so many of his other faces.
He doesn't speak for a moment. He tips his head a bit, raising a hand to his chin as he considers Linhardt's words. Slowly - ever so slowly - that expression begins to fade, replaced with something neutral. It's not worried, but it's contemplative. His gaze drifts to the books on the desk. Eventually he speaks.]
I can't say I fully understand all your concerns. The path I walk is not one most people can understand, and I don't expect them to. My devotion to Lady Edelgard is single-minded; nothing else matters in the world but her ideals and her goal. I would cut down anyone - everyone - if it meant she could do what she must.
It isn't a viewpoint that most could understand. It certainly isn't one I would ask of you.
We are very different people. I have never had any talent for healing with magic or otherwise. My hands were stained long before arriving here. I haven't hesitated to kill, and I certainly won't now when we're so close. Quite a few people would find that horrifying and repulsive.
[He doesn't sound bothered by that idea at all. It's a fact, that's all.
But Linhardt has never looked at him that way.]
I must admit, I was surprised that you wanted to be my friend. We're almost exact opposites and I never would have thought you'd join us.
[...]
Were it in my power, I would not station you in any position where you could see battle. I would find a use for your research, and find a safe place to put you, where you would never see the horrors of war.
But I can't do that. Any personal feelings I may have must always be pushed aside. This is my path, and one I could never give up on.
[It isn't comforting, and he knows it. It isn't an explanation Linhardt really needs either; he probably knows all of this already. Hubert hesitates.]
I never wanted to drag you into this. It would have happened at some point, surely, but my hope was that you would remain with your family. I don't know if you would have been safe there, but you would have been far away from the path Lady Edelgard and I walk.
[Maybe that's admitting too much. He finds he doesn't really care right now.]
Speaking strictly from a strategic standpoint, it would be ideal for you to continue focusing on both Faith and Reason. If everything were purely about strategy, however, Lady Edelgard and I would have created a very different approach.
I would like it if you pursued Faith magic exclusively. There are powerful spells that you can defend yourself with if necessary, but the abilities you'll gain in support will be indispensable. There are plenty of mages with talents in Reason magic, far less so in Faith.
[At least within this house, that is...]
There isn't much I can say to put your mind at ease. But Linhardt, you do remember the day you assisted me, correct? I had been pushing myself harder than usual in an attempt to further Lady Edelgard's goals. In the end, I cost us several days of recovery time. It wasn't productive to push myself that hard, and it only served to worry the people around me.
[...Except Lady Edelgard, who still doesn't know about that particular slip-up. It's fine. She doesn't need to know.]
If you cannot think of the people who will be worried about you when you hurt yourself like that, at least consider it from a practical standpoint. Who will be there to help us keep an eye on those in the monastery if you are unable to do so? You are our only other ally in these walls, Linhardt. You're already doing everything we require of you.
[The words still aren't comforting, and probably never will be. Even so, he does what he can and opens himself up just the tiniest bit in the process.]
no subject
He doesn't speak for a moment. He tips his head a bit, raising a hand to his chin as he considers Linhardt's words. Slowly - ever so slowly - that expression begins to fade, replaced with something neutral. It's not worried, but it's contemplative. His gaze drifts to the books on the desk. Eventually he speaks.]
I can't say I fully understand all your concerns. The path I walk is not one most people can understand, and I don't expect them to. My devotion to Lady Edelgard is single-minded; nothing else matters in the world but her ideals and her goal. I would cut down anyone - everyone - if it meant she could do what she must.
It isn't a viewpoint that most could understand. It certainly isn't one I would ask of you.
We are very different people. I have never had any talent for healing with magic or otherwise. My hands were stained long before arriving here. I haven't hesitated to kill, and I certainly won't now when we're so close. Quite a few people would find that horrifying and repulsive.
[He doesn't sound bothered by that idea at all. It's a fact, that's all.
But Linhardt has never looked at him that way.]
I must admit, I was surprised that you wanted to be my friend. We're almost exact opposites and I never would have thought you'd join us.
[...]
Were it in my power, I would not station you in any position where you could see battle. I would find a use for your research, and find a safe place to put you, where you would never see the horrors of war.
But I can't do that. Any personal feelings I may have must always be pushed aside. This is my path, and one I could never give up on.
[It isn't comforting, and he knows it. It isn't an explanation Linhardt really needs either; he probably knows all of this already. Hubert hesitates.]
I never wanted to drag you into this. It would have happened at some point, surely, but my hope was that you would remain with your family. I don't know if you would have been safe there, but you would have been far away from the path Lady Edelgard and I walk.
[Maybe that's admitting too much. He finds he doesn't really care right now.]
Speaking strictly from a strategic standpoint, it would be ideal for you to continue focusing on both Faith and Reason. If everything were purely about strategy, however, Lady Edelgard and I would have created a very different approach.
I would like it if you pursued Faith magic exclusively. There are powerful spells that you can defend yourself with if necessary, but the abilities you'll gain in support will be indispensable. There are plenty of mages with talents in Reason magic, far less so in Faith.
[At least within this house, that is...]
There isn't much I can say to put your mind at ease. But Linhardt, you do remember the day you assisted me, correct? I had been pushing myself harder than usual in an attempt to further Lady Edelgard's goals. In the end, I cost us several days of recovery time. It wasn't productive to push myself that hard, and it only served to worry the people around me.
[...Except Lady Edelgard, who still doesn't know about that particular slip-up. It's fine. She doesn't need to know.]
If you cannot think of the people who will be worried about you when you hurt yourself like that, at least consider it from a practical standpoint. Who will be there to help us keep an eye on those in the monastery if you are unable to do so? You are our only other ally in these walls, Linhardt. You're already doing everything we require of you.
[The words still aren't comforting, and probably never will be. Even so, he does what he can and opens himself up just the tiniest bit in the process.]