sranks | ROLLING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

As if I'd not wanna hear you get to be happy? Neo, this is...!

[Sonic hasn't quite eased this entire conversation, still wondering when the dream's going to be over and fade and leave him lonely and asking if he can hug Dorothea and cry but--no. This is real. This is real, and Sonic couldn't be happier.]

...Neo, I'm so proud of you. I know you ain't had an easy time learning to be yourself, but look at you--you're expressing yourself even more. You've always been trying, but I'm just...

It makes me really happy to see that you're able to seize it for yourself, and let yourself do it. I...gosh, I love you, Neo. If I can make you happy enough to do that, then that makes me real happy too.

[Sonic's laughter continues, bright as ever, and he just kind of finally eases into his boyfriend at long last. He finally feels at ease, at peace in a way he didn't think he'd get the chance to.]

I've missed you so much, Neo. It's...it's been rough without you here, but I'm...I'll get this place back to normal, promise. You should get some rest after all of that, yeah?

[There's...admittedly a lot Sonic's leaving unsaid, unsure if he should even talk about it at all. He still needs to get those blankets back on the couch, after all. And...get Dorothea's stuff back to her. And drink his tea that's likely gone cold now...]

[He scritches Sonic's ear again as if to confirm that yes, of course he's happy. He's pleased that this is something Sonic's so excited about - and maybe it is a good sign, that there's more he can do with this body than he realized. Something to consider later, anyway.]

My body is operating at peak efficiency, as though no damage was ever done to it. You don't need to worry about that.

[He flicks Sonic's ear at that. Come on now, you're the one who should be resting!!]

Please, leave the clean up to me. I kept you waiting for too long, so it's the least I can do.

[...]

Though you're welcome to stay right here with me, for as long as you'd like. There's no rush, after all.

[He can't imagine Sonic would want to let him go any time soon after what happened...]

[Sonic whines a bit when his ear gets flicked, pouting just a bit at that. His gaze averts shortly after, though; it's not like he knows what dying and coming back is like. The only time he came close to it was...]

...All I've been doing since you've been gone is sleeping, the least I can do is...

[It's a weak protest and one Sonic kills off quickly. He's still holding Neo so close, and he knows reasonably he should be fine. He should be fine with this, he's bouncing back so easily now that Neo's here. It's fine, right?

(He's still afraid he's going to wake up from this dream.)

Sonic's ears droop down a bit when he speaks up.]

...Please stay. I don't think I c--I don't want to be apart from you, for a while.

Of course I will.

[His hand moves to pet Sonic's ear before sliding back through his quills easily, hopefully reassuring.]

I'll stay right here, for as long as you want me to. I'm not going to leave you again.

[It's understandable that Sonic's worried - after all, he's spent a week thinking Neo was gone for good. It's not going to be easy to adapt even though Neo's back.]

[It is reassuring; it gets a slow, softer bit of purring from Sonic as he finally lets himself settle against Neo, breathing and doing his best to try and center himself. It's funny; he's never needed something like this before, but it's a reminder. A reminder that he's alive, that this is all real. That this is all real, and that Neo's back in his arms again.

Sonic shakes a bit, letting the words settle in the air for a while. He doesn't know if he wants to talk about this, or if Neo even wants to hear it. Neo just got done dying; does he really need to burden his boyfriend with his emotional state, too?

Sonic's gaze averts, but he curls into Neo, almost into a ball, honestly.]

...Thank you, Neo. I...I know I could've probably been fine in a while, but it wasn't...I...

[...]

I didn't know what to do. I'm used to going where ever the wind takes me but...being directionless like that, it was...bad. I'm glad you're back.

[Neo holds Sonic close, claws stilling against his boyfriend's quills as he realizes that standing here is likely sort of uncomfortable... Come here, you. Neo simply lifts his boyfriend up and carries him over to the couch before settling back down; now you can cuddle as much as you want!!]

You experienced a truly traumatic event. Anyone would have a difficult time processing and coming to terms with that, let alone finding a way to move forward. A week is hardly enough time for any of that.

[Granted, he's never experienced such a thing for himself and can only guess, but... well, he remembers how it felt when Sonic was injured. Back then he didn't understand... any of that, but now? He can absolutely get why Sonic was so broken up about it.]

You don't need to pretend around me, you know. You were hurt and there's nothing wrong with feeling that. I'm back now, but that doesn't invalidate your feelings any.

[He doesn't mind listening. He wants to do what he can to help his boyfriend, after all.]

[That--actually gets a surprised noise out of him and his heart hammers for a brief moment, because sometimes he forgets that his boyfriend is actually strong enough to lift him easily? It's. It's very attractive.

Sonic absolutely curls up with his boyfriend on the couch while he flushes up a storm, and it's almost enough to distract him from the fact that his boyfriend does want him to talk to him. It's...well, it's difficult. It shouldn't matter, because Neo's right here. He's right here, and...]

...It still feels like I'm gonna wake up near your charging port alone again, I'm not gonna lie. It...still doesn't feel real. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but...

I missed you. I didn't realize I could miss someone this much. I'm used to people leaving my life and sometimes...sometimes they don't come back. I've always been used to it, but it was different this time.

[A lot of his thoughts were static, or unpleasant. Directionless, vague, pervasive noise that blocked out the world and sapped his near limitless energy.]

...It felt...empty. I think that's what it is. Emptiness that's slowly getting filled back up.

[...]

Don't...I know I can't ask you to stop protecting me. Just like...you can't ask me to stop protecting you. But...I...

[He doesn't know how to word this. Does he want to ask Neo to please stop considering himself so expendable? Does he want to ask Neo to make sure they go together, if they have to go at all? Does he want to make sure they never run into an incident like this again? Realistically, there's no way to prepare for something like that properly if they continue to fight. There's no way to ask either of them to stop either; it's what they do. It's what they love to do.]

...I don't...know. What I want to ask, or how to ask it, but...

...Please don't leave me alone again.

[He listens as his boyfriend slowly opens up. Sonic isn't usually the sort to hesitate or stumble over his words, which is only a testament to how difficult this whole situation has been on him. Of course Neo feels bad about it - how could he not? He's unintentionally caused his boyfriend so much suffering, and he can't fully say he's sorry about it, because he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping Sonic safe.

Which is the problem, really. They're both fighters and refusing to fight simply isn't in their nature. They've both come to have one another's backs, but that also means that they're willing to put their lives on the line for one another. In some ways, maybe this was always going to happen to one of them, whether it was Neo or Sonic. It's the natural trajectory of their relationship, where one of them would inevitably end up taking an attack for the other they just couldn't recover from.]

I understand. I can imagine how... how devastated I'd be were I in your position, particularly because there isn't anything that can truly prevent something like this from happening again.

[They will continue to fight. They will continue to look out for one another. They may very well end up taking a fatal hit for one another again.]

In this body, it is unlikely I would suffer destruction devastating enough that I would truly be gone again. In fact, once we get up, allow me to leave detailed instructions on what to do should my body become nonfunctional. I am made up of two core components that could be placed into a temporary body; as long as those components are not destroyed, I will still exist.

[This is the technical aspect that gives him comfort, but more than that, it's something they can physically do. He can explain how it works and what Sonic can do to help, should it happen, so that may provide some measure of comfort.]

But even so, I understand your concerns. I do not want to leave you alone again, and I will do my best to ensure it never happens. I cannot guarantee it, but at the very least it will be very difficult for it to happen. I'll fight as hard as I can to ensure I won't leave your side.

Yeah. I wouldn't ever want you to hurt like that.

[It's something of an apology on Sonic's part, too--he's never really gotten a chance to ever apologize for the first time Sonic tried to take a hit for Neo. Sure, he was overconfident enough to think that yeah, he won't die from this, but...

Sonic finds it in himself to smile, just a bit. Neo's always practical, but it's something Sonic appreciates; tangible actions, tangible ways to do something to help Neo. Sonic's been getting better with his handiness by the day, and Sonic can do just about anything if given proper instructions from Neo now. If that's truly a way to save him...]

...I'll do my best, too. To...to try and make sure that doesn't happen--so we don't get stuck in a position that it does. A lot of our friends were pretty devastated too. None of 'em gave me an earful or anything, but they definitely were concerned.

But I'll fight hard, too. I don't want to leave yours, either...if you're willing to give it your all, then I am, too. I know we can't guarantee it, but we're precious. To each other, and others, too.

[He doesn't want to say if we go, we go together, because neither of them should. He could see it in the way they all looked at him, sadness, anger that they held back, and some of them wanting to make sure he was okay. Some of them will likely come and make sure Neo is, too, he's sure.]

...Please, teach me about it. There's still a lot I don't know about you, but if I can make sure you don't die, I'll commit it to memory!

[He nuzzles against Sonic and those claws resume gently gliding through his boyfriend's quills.]

I will ensure to let them know I'm fine now. I'm... glad that they were there for you.

[It's strange to think that they were upset about him - but then, why wouldn't they be? He may not be as friendly and outgoing as his organic counterpart, but Neo's reached out to others and made connections, so of course they'd feel his loss. It would be the same were any of them to die.

Regardless, Neo nods at the next part. Yes, they're absolutely precious to one another, and they should never have to go through something like this again. He'll do what he can to make sure of it, and he knows Sonic feels the same way.]

My being is composed of two parts: my programming, the part that makes me who I am, as well as my memories. These are stored separately within my body. You've already seen the former; it's kept within the panel on my back. The latter is kept within my head. Both of these are required to recreate me as I am now, although if only one can be saved, my memories are more important.

[One could argue that Neo is tied down by his programming and that most of it has just caused more issues than it solves, but it is a part of who he is.]

[Sonic listens to that, purring becoming a little louder in the face of Neo's attention to his quills. He already knows a fair bit about the panel in the back at least, so it at least makes sense to him already given that he's done basic repairs.]

Makes perfect sense to me. I guess in a way, it's like...it's like your head and your heart? [Sonic places a hand on Neo's chest, as if to emphasize it.] Like, that's what it'd be on us. So as long as that can be preserved, you can come back in some way...

[Sonic considers that for a moment. He doesn't know which to think of as which, but it does make sense to him that Neo's memories would be important. After all, memories make a person just as much as their living, breathing body. But Neo's programming...Neo's programming is just as much who he is as his memories.

...Sonic hopes it never comes down to having to choose, because he does worry it wouldn't be the same, complete Neo that he knows without it. Even if he wonders if freeing him from that would be better.

Sonic discards that.]

...I promise I'll keep you safe and learn everything I can. I'll rebuild you from scratch if I gotta. Just means I'm gonna need to really hunker down and start learning more, huh? [Sonic grins just the slightest bit at that.] I don't want you to be anything but yourself, after all.

[His head and his heart. He hadn't thought of it like that, but that's an apt comparison. Neo continues to gently run his claws through Sonic's quills, nuzzling against his boyfriend at that.]

Thank you. I promise I'll be careful so you shouldn't ever have to do something like that - but now you know what to do should anything ever happen to me again.

[It's a concrete goal that Sonic can work towards, and that seems to have calmed him down. Neo's pleased to see it, of course.]

Thanks, Neo. I'll try to do the same, so you don't ever have to worry either.

[Sonic infinitely prefers concrete goals rather than what-ifs. If he can get himself knowledgeable enough, Neo will never have to worry about dying again. It's something Sonic can do, if he puts his mind to it, and...

It's something he can reach towards, to live a good life with his beloved. That alone is enough.

...Of course, once the silence hits and Sonic's contently looking around the house a bit, he notices the. Long abandoned cup of tea on the counter and sighs at himself a bit. That's probably undrinkable now...]

...Hey, Neo. You mind too terribly if I keep you to myself for the day? [Sonic's awake, at least, but look at all of this moving he's willing to do now that he has his boyfriend back. None. None of it.] I'm not tired, but...I dunno. I don't wanna be apart from you.

[rip that cup of tea...

Neo's claws continue to glide through Sonic's quills even as the silence spans beyween them. Though he wasn't nearly as traumatized as Sonic by all of this, the silence is comfortable now that his boyfriend's in his arms. Frankly, Neo doesn't want to let go. He's not sure he could explain it if he tried, other than that he simply wants to keep Sonic to himself - and it seems the feeling's mutual.]

Convenient, as I'm not interested in letting you leave my sight today.

[They'll undoubtedly be back to their usual more independent lives soon enough, but there's no reason to rush. Neo just got back, after all. He nuzzles against Sonic gently.]

I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm all yours.

ROLLING AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

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