[Making something new of himself. Reshaping himself to be better, stronger, to enhance his natural strengths over his rival and to ensure that this time, this time he'd come out on top—
All of this has been his own decision. From the moment he prioritized Sonic's destruction over Eggman's orders, he's been living his own life. No matter how many times he's tried to convince himself of it, he isn't solely a machine of war. Things that he once deemed weaknesses are what make him Neo, and Sonic likes those things about him. To discard them so carelessly would be to change himself beyond recognition. And he... doesn't want that.
He's still not entirely sure what he does want. It's hard to imagine a future at all, even if it is one where he does succeed at finally killing his rival, because Sonic... Sonic isn't supposed to die. If Sonic dies, then where does that leave Neo? He won't have anything to pursue anymore. He won't have the center of his world. How can a world exist for him without Sonic?
Sonic's thoughts are overwhelming, but that dream of an ideal future, one where they are bound together yet free to pursue their own desires, ever returning to one another—]
And what if it never wants to leave to begin with?
[He doesn't need to communicate this through thoughts. No, that's not quite right. He doesn't want to communicate it that way. Neo gave himself a voice; he may as well make damn good use of it.]
I will always be yours; that will never change. No matter where we go, no matter what we... feel for one another, that remains the same. I do not care what we call it - what we have now is...
[it's everything I could ever want.
He seizes Sonic's hand then, the movement sudden, forceful, and his grip is tight like he isn't going to let Sonic have a chance to escape.]
You say I am capable of feelings. Then you should already know how much you mean to me.
[Of course Neo isn't good at expressing it, how could he be, when he's done nothing but delude himself into thinking that all those feelings are nothing? But here and now, with the bond able to share them so easily, he can express all of that and so much more without the need for cumbersome words that could never hope to capture it anyway.
Sonic can infuriate him and rile him up like none other, but he values that; their rivalry means everything to him. Spending time like this, even without any sort of competition or challenge is comforting. Neo looks forward to the silence between them in the evenings, when they do nothing in particular but cuddle on the couch and chat about their days. He likes hearing Sonic talk - of all the things he's seen and wants to see, of all the places he's been and people he's met. He feels happy, the happiest he's ever been capable of feeling, because he knows that his rival will be waiting for him, and that Sonic will push him to better himself no matter how many times he gets caught in his own circling thoughts and doubts. He's frustrated that he can't help or express this with his own words, but thankful for the bond existing to share all of this with Sonic, who needs to know just how damn important he is.
He's the center of Neo's world. He always has been.
He always will be.
And it doesn't matter what that feeling is called, because Neo likes it and doesn't want to let it go.]
no subject
All of this has been his own decision. From the moment he prioritized Sonic's destruction over Eggman's orders, he's been living his own life. No matter how many times he's tried to convince himself of it, he isn't solely a machine of war. Things that he once deemed weaknesses are what make him Neo, and Sonic likes those things about him. To discard them so carelessly would be to change himself beyond recognition. And he... doesn't want that.
He's still not entirely sure what he does want. It's hard to imagine a future at all, even if it is one where he does succeed at finally killing his rival, because Sonic... Sonic isn't supposed to die. If Sonic dies, then where does that leave Neo? He won't have anything to pursue anymore. He won't have the center of his world. How can a world exist for him without Sonic?
Sonic's thoughts are overwhelming, but that dream of an ideal future, one where they are bound together yet free to pursue their own desires, ever returning to one another—]
And what if it never wants to leave to begin with?
[He doesn't need to communicate this through thoughts. No, that's not quite right. He doesn't want to communicate it that way. Neo gave himself a voice; he may as well make damn good use of it.]
I will always be yours; that will never change. No matter where we go, no matter what we... feel for one another, that remains the same. I do not care what we call it - what we have now is...
[it's everything I could ever want.
He seizes Sonic's hand then, the movement sudden, forceful, and his grip is tight like he isn't going to let Sonic have a chance to escape.]
You say I am capable of feelings. Then you should already know how much you mean to me.
[Of course Neo isn't good at expressing it, how could he be, when he's done nothing but delude himself into thinking that all those feelings are nothing? But here and now, with the bond able to share them so easily, he can express all of that and so much more without the need for cumbersome words that could never hope to capture it anyway.
Sonic can infuriate him and rile him up like none other, but he values that; their rivalry means everything to him. Spending time like this, even without any sort of competition or challenge is comforting. Neo looks forward to the silence between them in the evenings, when they do nothing in particular but cuddle on the couch and chat about their days. He likes hearing Sonic talk - of all the things he's seen and wants to see, of all the places he's been and people he's met. He feels happy, the happiest he's ever been capable of feeling, because he knows that his rival will be waiting for him, and that Sonic will push him to better himself no matter how many times he gets caught in his own circling thoughts and doubts. He's frustrated that he can't help or express this with his own words, but thankful for the bond existing to share all of this with Sonic, who needs to know just how damn important he is.
He's the center of Neo's world. He always has been.
He always will be.
And it doesn't matter what that feeling is called, because Neo likes it and doesn't want to let it go.]