[Neo's grip on his knees tightens further as Sonic continues, and he only stops when the metal-on-metal scraping finally registers as a sound for him. His hearing is immaculate, but acknowledging it is a different beast altogether. And here he is, struggling with... all of this, really.
The incident - the kiss isn't the issue. He's not sure if Sonic assumes it is because Neo's been avoiding him or if it simply is in Sonic's nature to apologize because he is sorry for something so inane. That doesn't matter to Neo. It's what the kiss represents that is the problem - the feelings that may or may not come with such a thing and navigating such a strange and unfamiliar path that relies solely on things he can't simply explain away with logic and numbers.
And Sonic just continues, apologizing for things that he doesn't need to. As though Neo has been any more "fair" to him? As though they've done anything but circle each other like sharks, waiting for the perfect opportunity to bite down and never let go? They are enemies. They aren't supposed to talk with one another, especially not about such things.]
Don't treat me as though I'm—
[fragile.
breakable.
weak.
...]
I— [why, why is this so hard, when sonic so effortlessly continues, as though he doesn't need to think at all before he speaks?] You are not the problem here.
[And suddenly it hits him how horrifically true that is. Sonic isn't the problem. His treatment of Neo is not the problem. His attempts to dodge the questions and fire back is not the problem. The kiss was not the problem.
The problem is that Neo doesn't understand. He has all this data at his fingertips and yet he cannot add one and one and get a stationary, safe answer of two. He is left only with more unknowns and uncertainties, and as a result all he can do is tirelessly seek the only way he can think of to make things make sense again.
And the problem that he's been pointedly avoiding thinking about: is it too late for things to go back to the way they were? With Sonic continuing to reach out a hand to him over and over again, he has to wonder if maybe one of these days, he won't swat it away.
no subject
The incident - the kiss isn't the issue. He's not sure if Sonic assumes it is because Neo's been avoiding him or if it simply is in Sonic's nature to apologize because he is sorry for something so inane. That doesn't matter to Neo. It's what the kiss represents that is the problem - the feelings that may or may not come with such a thing and navigating such a strange and unfamiliar path that relies solely on things he can't simply explain away with logic and numbers.
And Sonic just continues, apologizing for things that he doesn't need to. As though Neo has been any more "fair" to him? As though they've done anything but circle each other like sharks, waiting for the perfect opportunity to bite down and never let go? They are enemies. They aren't supposed to talk with one another, especially not about such things.]
Don't treat me as though I'm—
[fragile.
breakable.
weak.
...]
I— [why, why is this so hard, when sonic so effortlessly continues, as though he doesn't need to think at all before he speaks?] You are not the problem here.
[And suddenly it hits him how horrifically true that is. Sonic isn't the problem. His treatment of Neo is not the problem. His attempts to dodge the questions and fire back is not the problem. The kiss was not the problem.
The problem is that Neo doesn't understand. He has all this data at his fingertips and yet he cannot add one and one and get a stationary, safe answer of two. He is left only with more unknowns and uncertainties, and as a result all he can do is tirelessly seek the only way he can think of to make things make sense again.
And the problem that he's been pointedly avoiding thinking about: is it too late for things to go back to the way they were? With Sonic continuing to reach out a hand to him over and over again, he has to wonder if maybe one of these days, he won't swat it away.
That thought truly terrifies him.]